02-25-00 Friday


Just a few random thoughts for today...
-I hate small furry creatures that scurry around in dark places.
-I think it's funny how people find you more approachable when you wear bright clothing.
-Why do guys flirt with you and never ask you out???
-I love my friends
-What is so wrong with me?

I guess I should be explaining these things. I'm not sure exactly how it did it. but a mouse got in my house. (it might be due to the fact that my mom had the doors open yesterday cause it's been so nice outside, or it could have gotten in through the crawl-space. I live in hillbilly central. so it might have been my neighbor's pet. I don't know. They had a goat once.) but it was in my room this morning. Picture this. I get out of the shower and go into my room. I had my pretty dress all laid out and ready so I was putting it on, and this thing comes running out from under my bed and goes straight under my dresser. It was moving so fast, I couldn't tell at first what it was. but my first reaction... I squealed and jumped on my bed. (I never thought I was that girlie) It freaked the hell out of me. Then it ran back under my bed. So I screamed again. By now, my mom had heard me and both she and my dad came back to my room. When I explained the little creature racing around, I thought it was a lizard (don't ask. ok, it was moving so fast it looked green. only I could come up with something like that.) I got out of that room as fast as I could, finished getting ready for school and left. Since then, my mom took care of the little bastard. We'll just say she called the "men" and it's gone now... it was set free in the woods right by my house. I'm still jumpy though. Anything near my feet gets either kicked or stepped on.

~I don't believe in, I don't believe in your sanctity, your privacy. I don't believe in, I don't believe in sanctity or hipocracy.~

Like I said... I wore my pretty new dress today. It's bright orange and flowery. I guess it looks kinda Hawaiianish. but I find that people talk to you more when you're like.... BAM! right there and bright freakin' orange. (hahaha! sorry, I made myself laugh.)

So I sit at a table of nothing but guys right... and we're all cool. You got Joe, Little Stubbs, Rob, AJ, Derek M, Eric H, and some other guys I don't know. It's great. They're awesome. I still miss having lunch with Nicole, Tyler, Jacob, and Tyler. anyhow, the point was guys who flirt and never ask you out. It's hard for me because I'm not "that way" with any of the guys at my school. I'm one of them. We hang in lunch... None of them see me that way. That leads to my final thought. (I know I'm not going in order anymore.) What is wrong with me? Nothing. but I was given bad news today. The little mission Joe decided to accept turned out to be a big bummer on my part. ok, here's the story. Joe told me he was going to say something to Dan in history the other day. I guess he didn't have to bring it up. Dan saw the huge hickey on Joe's neck and said, "Man, I wish I had those problems" and Joe's like, "You could have those problems." but then Dan said, "I don't think Laura's like that. and I don't really see us together." What the **** is that? I guess I'm a little upset about the whole thing. Mostly because I DO see us together. and so do a lot of other people including the girl who recently broke up with him. (because he talks about me all the time) I just don't understand. Am I not pretty enough, smart enough??? What do I lack? I think it's bull. He didn't even give me a chance. The irony is, he was telling me why he and Danae didn't work out. All the things that were wrong with the relationship, and the things he was actually looking for, and... He was basically describing me. Sense of humor...likes to go out and do things other than the movies or bowling. Someone who is generally fun. HELLO! but I'm not finished with this one yet. (When did I ever become a quitter?) I didn't. I suppose it's going to take more work than I thought. I enjoy challenge.

~people dying for no reason at all. Age is no difference. or if you're large or small.~

Lastly, I'd just like to state how much I love my friends. They're are THE greatest. Grade A. It was hilarious. I was headed for studyhall last period, and Nicole and Laurie scream at me from down the hall. I hate studyhall. It's the most boring time of day. Especially when it's you're last period and you're ready to leave. They both have yearbook and can pretty much do whatever they want. (unfair) but I remember begging them to get me out of the hell that is studyhall. So what did they do? They come in about half way through. I saw Laurie and thought Oh-my-gosh-what-is-she-going-to-do. She walks up to the "monitor", and says, "They need Laura Bowersock in the office." So I got up and left. That simple. We walked around for awhile. Then I went back, and collected my stuff at about 10 or 15 'til three. Nicole said, "Now I really feel like one of those tv shows where students will go and get their friends out of class." Cause we all know that things like that don't really happen. That's the way the wb likes to make it seem. but normal schools ask for proof or something. They always want to see your pass. I thought it was funny. Only my friends would do something like that.

~machine guns pumpin', hearts thumpin', death is all around. people cryin' for freedom. no one hears the sound!~

Not to go back to this or anything. Even after making the decision to apologize to him, I'm still annoyed by his...quirks. He finds ways to get to me. Like the thing on Valentine's Day... I'm not going to get started on that again. The past few days, he's been showing up after school. He meets his girlie in the parking lot and makes out with her, tainting the eyes of all the poor students. Tainting sacred ground. (That is THE parking lot.) His actons are really not appropriate. It still upsets me that he made this big decision to find himself and then suddenly decides to go back to his old ways. ("pimping" or whatever he thinks it is.) Rob comes up to me and goes, "you see James over there?" I of course told him not to mention it. So he's like, "Well don't look. Cause he's making out with her and... remember what you said..." etc. then he busts up laughing. ok, that was an inside joke. I'm sure nobody got it. Well... maybe Nicole or Laurie...
Rob and I had quite the conversaton in lunch. About how I'm such a bitch. Maybe I am. I thoroughly enjoy it too. (I'm really not a bitch.) I actually have a more laid back quiet demeanor. But these two kids in the lunch line were talking. The one's like, "Does she always look like that? Like she's gonna jump out and bite you..." (or something to that effect) I turned around. and he's like, "man, she knows we're talkin' about her too." I just laughed. They sit my table. I looked at the one who was talking and said, "yeah, I'm the meanest bitch you've ever seen." Rob laughed. The girls in front of us laughed. I obviously didn't LOOK like a bitch. in my orange flowery dress. I thought I looked pretty innocent in fact. I always stare off into space. I don't quite understand how he got "jump out and bite you" from that. I'm not that type at all. I avoid conflict. I'm a libra. (sorry I made myself laugh again.) I better get off this computer before I go blind. My vision is bad enough.

~I'm losin' my hair, and my vision is shady. Last night I dreamed of an overweight lady.~


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