Miserable Visible Breath


02-01-04

~Bright lights big city...~

Sneaking in a bit of PC time on the parents computer while dad watches the Superbowl and mom prepares a delicious meal. Mine is now completely out of remission. But my car is in wonderful working condition. That seems to be how things happen. If it's not one thing, it's another. It's a constant struggle and I love every minute of it.

~Breakin' from the seriousness I try not to get disoriented...~

Catching up on my online pleasures. Stole the title of this current word splurge from The Mraz Man's curbside prophesies. I miss journaling. But my schedule has barely left me time to breathe so I don't even have the time to think about missing it. I have many plans cooking up inside my head lately. The most unnecessary of all is taking a trip over to the great white northeast. It's been somewhere close to a year since I've experienced the higher altitude. It's time to retrieve my belongings once and for all. I've been slowly preparing for the trip. Getting myself used to the bitter weather again. Staying up all night and day so I will be able to drive the 12 hours there, collect my things, say my hellos and goodbyes and drive back sleepless. It'll be a good time. I've thought about bringing someone along. Doubting that will happen though. It's fine. I don't mind the solitude. Long distance highway driving is like a religious experience for me. It's leaving things behind me. Moving forward 70-85 miles per hour. Breathing air that belongs to other states, cities, towns and populations. I'm excited.

~Elbows and exposed knees tossing towards your ceiling...~

I've been feeling pretty positive lately. I'm in love and not in the conventional sense of the word. I'm in love with life. As cheesy as it sounds, I've been relearning how to enjoy it on the levels I once did. Getting back to the nitty gritty parts of reality and reopening myself to new experiences and people. I've got things under control when it comes to my finances. As of right now, I'm standing well. Happy to spend my free time surrounded by friends or sitting alone and collecting my thoughts. It's peaceful here again. For now. But I'm not taking it for granted this time.

~Not just yet...~

It's back to the excitement of new relationships and such. Greg and I...we've gone our seperate ways. I thought that my theory on making the same mistake twice only applied to dating the same person twice. Is it possible to meet someone new who is the reincarnation of someone you've been with before? I believe it is. He was a box with no opening. A room with no door. Quite similar to someone I've been with before. He describes it differently. He claims we're like birds and fish. (I like to think I'm the bird) Free. While his aquatic environment keeps him trapped in one repeated place in life. His explanation is much more simple. He thinks that since we're from two different worlds we just can't survive in the others place. Either way, it didn't work out. And I was glad to let him go. Although seeing him the other day was upsetting. I'm not as numb as I thought I was. We spoke briefly this evening when I called to inform him that his live-in free babysitter attempted to contact me this morning. She moved back in immediately after we broke things off which came as no surprise. I'm sure she's been wondering whether or not he and I still see each other. But rather than giving her the satisfaction of the knowledge that I had completely moved on not a day after he and I decided to let it go, I hung up on her. So I let him know that I was not pleased with her call. I told him to keep better tabs on his phone. Control your beast Greg. I have no beef with either of them. I'm done with it. He wasn't happy to hear any of it. If he had it his way, I would be the new live-in. But this birdie isn't ready to be caged. And the world is right again.

~Where you runnin' to? Awful happens all the time. Don't let it kill you.~

So it was back to the single life for awhile. Went out a couple of times with a young whipper snapper. He still calls on the occasion. For some reason he sparked the interest of an old flame. Strange how these things happen. So I'm happily captured at the moment. Just having fun and taking things in stride. Dinner's ready and I still have other things to do this evening. Reading is my first priority. I'll be here if needed. I'm always around.

~How was I supposed to know you could catch fire to the snow?~


HOME

Email: holyrevelry@hotmail.com