It was never up to you...
08-26-03 12:56pm
~Hold everything here in your hand. In a moment it's gone. Everything that you love disappears. Hold everything close. Cause you may outlast it. Memories all that remain of the way that it was. Watch it all go by cause it's all that you can do. Everything changes so fast. For better or for worse. It was never up to you. Everything changes so fast.~
Listening to:
The Juliana Theory
Sunny Day
Vendetta Red
SUNDAY
I woke up really late after my night of car washing...and watching Powder with Laurie and Steve. But I was supposed to be off on Sunday so I didn't care. I got a call around 4pm from Shannon. She said that I was on-call...they apparently changed the schedule after I had written it down. ooops. There was a problem with all of her other part timers that day. Stupid silly high school crap...so she asked me to come in for a few hours. I got ready and made it there in 45 minutes. Record time in my opinion. The store was dead. So I ended up cleaning all night. After we closed at 6pm, she conned me into sticking around and helping out with the floor change. I was there until almost nine. Which is fine because I need the hours. I didn't get in trouble for anything. In fact, Shannon informed me today that her assistant said I SHOULD get in trouble. I think the girl is scared because she knows that if she doesn't straighten out her own work ethics, she's going to be replaced. (by me) After work, I stopped in at Laurie's by her request. She's trying to quit smoking so she refuses to buy cigarettes. Instead, she asks me to come over just to supply her with mine. Hee hee...silly girl
~Drowning you in irresponsibility...~
So, Laurie, Nicole, and I were all chillin' in the living room while I told the story of my crazy day at work. All of a sudden, Laurie screams like I've never heard her scream before. One of those girly squealy screams...Then she screams again and grabs the blanket from behind her on the couch. "eeeeeeeee! BAT!!!!" I saw the damn thing out of the corner of my eye. So I pulled the blanket over my head. Nicole jumps over to the couch and sheilds herself with a throw pillow. So here we are, the three of us, huddled on the couch under blankets and pillows, as this bat flies back and forth between the kitchen and the room off of the living room. Who knows where the hell it came from. So we're freaking out and Nicole gets the bright idea to call Casey. By the time he got across the porch, we had armed ourselves with tennis rackets...he comes over shirtless and shoeless asking if we're trippin' on something. Then it shoots out of the kitchen, we all squeal again and Casey says, "holy shit!" and hits the floor. It flew back into the kitchen. So Nicole turned on the kitchen light. Here it is, I would say maybe 3 inches long...tiny little thing. Hanging upside down from the ceiling with it's wings wrapped around itself to protect its eyes from the light. It was so teensy. But when it opened its wings, it was like a foot long. Insane. To make the story short (it's a really funny story but I've told it a million times now and it's better if you hear it first hand anyway) Nicole put on a hooded sweatshirt, Laurie put on a winter coat and wrapped a scarf around her head. They marched into the kitchen armed with tennis rackets, a flashlight and an icescraper. Somebody bumped into something, scared the bat, it took off into the other room again. (here I am, hiding under the blanket on the futon) Laurie hit the floor, and Nicole took action. She swung at it, missed...it flew back around, she swung again...mad forehand skills. She busted the thing with the tennis racket and it bounced off into the wall. We were hooting and hollaring like a bunch of jocks. Giving each other high fives...it was disposed of properly. Although I had no part in the demise of the bat, I feel as though I was there for moral support. Why didn't I help??? I had a bad experience with a bat as a child. I had a bad experience.
~All you've lived is moments in a fraction of their lives...~
I finally worked a full 8 hour shift at work today. 9-5 and damn that felt good. I'm not going to say that I love my job. But it's not so bad. I used to hate the shit jobs when I worked part time at Gadzooks. The goal was always to pawn them off on someone else. But I don't think I'd get by without them now. It's a time killer. The day went extra fast because I was constantly doing something. I swept and mopped the entire store. Cleaned and straightened all day. Put things away from the floor change the night before. It was good. I'm working damn hard for what I make but hell, it feels good to have a job again. Afterwards, I went to Laurie's and started watching The Hours. It was horrible. So Nicole and I went to Burger King and discussed books, OCD, and the apocalypse. We also discussed the fact that they need to hook me up with someone before Shannon tries to pawn me off on scary mall security Mark again. Shannon, Mindy and I were chillin' outside taking a smoke break Sunday night. Chad (Shannon's boyfriend/baby's daddy) and Mark drove up in the security truck bumping Tenacious D. Before they drove up, we had been talking about how Mark used to hit on me when I was managing Journey's...and how he bugs the shit out of me. The subject changed to how long it had been since I'd last had some booty. (I can't believe I referred to it as booty.) They pull up and Shannon yells into the truck at Mark, "hey Mark, Laura hasn't gotten any in 3 months. You wanna remedy that situation???" WTF?!?! I was just telling her that his head is itty bitty compared to the rest of his overly muscled body. He's dumb, he can't take a hint, and he bet Chad $100 that he could break up Mindy and her boyfriend. He's desperate. Totally NOT my type. So he hops out of the truck trying to act suave. Jumps around a little bit. He looked like a moron. Then he decided to crunch his empty soda can on his forehead. That was it right there. Can we say, "stupid jock meat head show off???" Then he walked up to me and said, "so, how you doin'?" I wanted to cry. I don't think I've ever known anyone who fit into a stereotype so well. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. He's not really ugly. He has decent features. But then again, he looks like he has a shrunken head. His shoulders are so broad, you'd think he has to walk through a door sideways. Let it be known now that I don't like "manly" men. I like my men scrawny and lanky. Cute, cut, skinny boys with pretty eyes and a sensitive side. Poetry, music, art, philosophy...give him some scruffy chin hair, a motor cycle, some tattoos and I'm satisfied. A little bit of Jason Mraz, a little bit of Brandon Boyd, a little bit of Tim minus the 12 hour drive and the stubborness and you got yourself a mutha fuckin' deal. Dammit, I digress. So, I'm still trying to convince my friends (Nicole and Laurie) to hook me up with someone who fits that description a little bit better than Mall Security Mark. But here I am talking about guys again when I'd decided that I was focusing on priorities. I've said it a million times and I'll say it again. It's just too damn hard to be happily single when surrounded by happy couples.
~We know you're lyin'. We know you're lyin'. We know you're lyin' through your teeth...~
I tried to help my "little" brother get ready for school tomorrow. I can't really call him little anymore when he's at least an inch or so taller than I am. I cut and streaked his hair. The plan at the beginning of summer vacation was to let it grow out and try for some dredlocks. It's not long enough. It's like pulling teeth to get that child to let his hair grow. It's ever harder to convince him that girls prefer guys who take care of themselves hygiene wise. He's such a typical boy. Reminds me of Puck from the Real World. Rarely showers, doesn't believe in a tooth brush...it's disgusting. But I love him and I try to help out every year. Hoping maybe he'll take my advice and be the dork who comes back from summer vacation looking like Mr. Hottie McHot Unattainable Cool guy. Ya, that'll never happen. Dammit, I want to be an aunt someday. Lord knows I'll never have children of my own. (Not because I don't want to but because I'll never find the man described above. Someone worth sharing my chromosomes...) So I clipped, trimmed, streaked, shaved and advised. Showed him how to use styling hair wax. I set out his deodorant, cologne, hair goop, and an encouraging note for the morning. It's a work in constant progress. My work is never done. Speaking of work...I'm on call tomorrow so, I should get to bed. It's 2:20am. Top o' the mornin'!
~discomfort comes clearly...sometimes you see right through me...~
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