I'm not just a song anymore. I might be the whole damn score.


08-10-03

~You think I'd leave your side baby, you know me better than that. You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees. I'd never do that.~

I went to lunch with Shannon yesterday. She called me at a quarter to two and said, "I'm taking lunch at two. Get your ass out of bed and get out here." I didn't make it until 20 after. So I'm starting on Wednesday. I get to fill out new hire paperwork. Unfortunately, I know it all too well. After being on the other end of paperwork. Instructing new hires how to fill out a w-2. Exciting...I'm really glad to have a job. I am. It's going to be hell to get back on a schedule though. It's going to be hell to try and fit into the tiny little girly clothes that they sell. Let alone my style...I have a feeling Shannon is going to hate the way that I wear those clothes. I'm not all about exposing my midriff. Or cleavage for that matter. If I had any...anyhow, so I start Wednesday. I am excited. Ok, I will be excited. It's exciting...I think. I'm kidding. I'm excited.

~When everything feels like the movies ya you bleed just to know you're alive...~

So maybe I was all wrong about my movie statement from the last post. Sometimes things can seem so much like a movie. Like you never thought someone would say the perfect thing...not necessarily the perfect moment but...let's face it, movies definately do not = reality. After dining with Shannon, I came home and found Tim online. We were talking about something...Oh, we were talking about tattoos. He just got a new one...we used to talk about that a lot. He and Thad were working on a drawing for me. Well, for my potential tat. Right, so anyways, he said, "I've been thinking about that sexy freckle on your lower back." The man has not seen me, let alone my "lower back" in over 6 months. I was shocked that he remembered something like that. I didn't really think much of it at the time but I brought it up in a conversation with Laurie today. She didn't seem surprised at all. In fact, she made a valid point. It's not a place that most people get to see. It's personal. I guess it just blew me away. Like I said in my last post, I'm jaded. So that's not something that happens very often. Damn, I need a hobby.

~I am covered in skin. No one gets to come in. Pull me out from inside. I am folded and unfolded and unfolding I am...~

So after another wonderful conversation with Tim, I got ready for the toga party. No, I didn't wear a toga. Not very many people did. What a night of absolute drunken debauchery and utterly shocking moments of nudity. Oh, where to start. Hmm, well...there was quite a bit of drinking going on. I ran into that guy who I saw at Matt's 4th of July party. Joey, the kid I went to kindergarden with. I asked Matt what the guys name was. He's like, "Joe. You know him from somewhere?" Then he introduced us. I was like, "uh, um. Hi, Joe...y. You used to live on Wayne st. Right?"
"ya. I know you. What's your name?"
So I told him my name and he was like, "right! Right! We went to school together. Mrs. Mackelwee's class." hahaha. It was so ridiculous. Then he says, "Ya, I was talking about you with my mom the other day..." WHAT!? He never finished telling me exactly what he was talking about with his mother though. It was totally odd. Now that I think about it, I'd really like to know. Just too strange. So, Joe or Joey...whatever. Is this video camera toting computer guy now. He video taped all of the evenings dirty events. Hopefully I'll run into him again and get to see the stupidity caught on film instead of trying to remember what I saw through beer goggles. Ok, so a lot of people showed up and started in immediately on the usual "what will you do for cash" games. They were trying to get someone to violate the horses and or the piglet on camera. I think it was up to $250 before Kent finally caved and we all headed out to the barn. Nothing gross happened thankfully. He stripped down to his shorts and chased the pig around. Then we all went back up to the garage. The bonfire wasn't as big of a hit as I thought it would be. Probably because the keg was in the garage. Let's see, lots of beer bonging. Lots of beer spilling...OH! Then Casey shot a bottlerocket out of his ass. Ya, and then Kent shot one out of his penis hole. That's right! He stuck the end of this bottlerocket into his urethra and set it on fire. All on camera. I didn't see the actual ya...cock rocket. I was standing far FAR behind him thankfully. But still...that's insane. By this time, I was sloshed. Laurie had retired 2 houses down on her mothers couch. So Nicole and I were left to hold down the fort. This is where it got a little too touchy. So this kid Mike right...He's cool. He's one of those guys...that I'm cool with just walking up to him and leaning on him. Probably because his shoulders are arm rest height. Uh, he's about 2 and a half bucks. The top of his head hits somewhere around my shoulders. So...needless to say...not really my type. Love the kid. But he's about 3 or 4 years too young. So, I was straddling this bench, practically laying in Nicole's lap. Falling over drunk. And Mike says, "I wish I was that bench. no no. I wish I was your panties!!!hahahaha" I think I just shook my head. Then Nicole wrapped her arm around me and said something like, she's mine. And that caught the attention of every penis within a 20 foot range. They were all like, "hell ya! Let's see some girl on girl action!" Oh for the love...I thought we went through all of this in high school. So, Nicole brings up those days. When we were all a little crazy...we would walk through the hallway arm in arm. I just think all of the girls in our group were a little too close. No, there was no lesbian action in those days. I would say...it was a fine line that we were jumping all over just to tease the boys. Back to the party...so all of these guys were practically on their knees, begging Nicole to grab my boob. Why is that so fascinating? The moment that their attention switched from us to something stupid that Kent was doing, she took a handful. Then laughed her ass off and announced they'd missed the action. Then she did it again. By that time, they were all pissed that they'd missed it not only once but twice. The one and only guy there who was even decently good looking, squats down in front of me and says, "ok, I'm ready. Let's see it." For fuck sake...*sigh* Then I saw Matt's girlfriend. We called her over and she sat on my lap. I look to my right and here's Joey with his video camera focused on the three of us girls. (the only females left) One of them says, "hey, you grab her boob and then you grab her boob and it'll be a boob train!!!" hahaha! WTF! So I said, "hey! you stick your dick in his ass and then you stick your dick in his ass and it'll be a cock train!" Ya, I'm witty when I'm drunk. Yup. One hell of a crazy party. I should have gone home around that time but I decided to stick around for TJ's arrival. I'd called him earlier in the evening. And we played phone tag for several hours. I thought it would be nice of me to wait around and say hi.

~A hot minute for a life of sorrow. No you can't come back tomorrow...~

Nicole and Casey left and TJ showed up sometime after 1am. I was still perched on the bench in deep conversation with someone...I don't remember. First thing he does when he walks into the garage is walks around and says hi to everyone and then stands directly behind me. I really wish I hadn't had that conversation with Jesse about body language. Cause it kind of freaks me out now. I notice even more stupid things than I did before. Then he sat down next to me...I don't remember exactly what the conversation was but they were talking about mullets and bad hair cuts and such. Then Quinley said something about TJ's bleached style. Something about how she didn't think she'd like it when she heard about it but she likes it. And so he turns to me and says, "You don't like it do you? Cause I..." I just shook my head no. At least I'm honest. But dammit, I wish he'd finished what he was going to say because I swear it was "cause I read about it in your internet journal." HA! Hmm, I watched Steve, TJ and Matt freeze their nuts off on the slip n' slide. Next thing I know, TJ wraps his cold wet clammy arms around me. "gimme a hug"...clever boy. I got bored. Walked around in search of my randomly placed cell phone, lighter and purse then walked back up to the garage to say goodbye to everyone. I didn't get a word out before TJ says, "aw, you're leaving?" Then he stands up and comes in for another hug. The boy just can't get enough now can he? I think the last time I saw him and he said, "you're just mad because you still like me" was a projection of his own feelings. hahaha. Seriously now, just spit it out. You're not foolin' anybody. I know I'm irresistable. I do believe it's just a case of wanting what you can't have. When he had it, he didn't want it. Now that he doesn't have it anymore...you get the idea.

~When you refuse me, you confuse me. What makes you think I'll let you in again? Think again my friend.~

So I woke up this morning surprisingly early. Felt pretty shitty but my mood was absolutely delightful. It's been a pretty decent day. Laurie came over and we ate supper and watched a movie. She almost talked me into going over to her place and hanging border. Tried to seduce me with a trip to the bar afterward but I decided to chill at home and finish this lovely little post. Ugh, it's time for bed though. I'm tired. Honestly, I don't want to think about last night anymore. That was just WAY too much ass for one evening. I didn't even mention everything. Mike was naked at one point. Casey did the tuckaroo. (I looked through a window at THE most inopportune moment) Just too damn much ass. I don't know if I'm disillusioned with the whole single chick dating scene or what, but I do know that I was extremely disinterested in seeing everyone else's boyfriend's asses. So I'm off to find out what's going on in the kitchen and then to bed. It's midnight. Top of the mornin' to ya!

~Watch the sunrise, say your goodbyes. Off you go.~

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