04-07-02

It's Sunday...just catching up on a few things. Cause it still seems like it's been forever since I've been on a computer. I'm trying to get used to the programs on my new one. And they're obviously different than the one I was using before. I couldn't even burn a copy of a cd. I feel so stupid. It took me like an hour just to copy one cd to another. What a waste of time.

~too bad the things that make you mad are my favorite things~

Plus I'm all messed up because of the time change. It's 8:30 already! I guess I did spend a half an hour in the mall parking lot after I closed the store today fixing my flat tire. I hate my car so much. I have a tendency to do that. My car is awesome. It's got everything. It's got a hose in the trunk that will re-inflate your tire. All you have to do is attach it to a pump that's run off of the battery. They were thinking of idiots like me when they made my car. They were thinking, "Hey, let's make a car that has a little gadget for everything so these fucking morons won't call us every second to come and fix it." Yup. That's what they were thinking. But I still have problems with it. (which tells you a lot about me huh?) And I'm always in a hurry. So I fly outta the house and hop in the car with about 10 minutes to get to work. I don't have time to walk around the car every morning (especially not when it's chilly) just to make sure all my tires are properly inflated. So ya, I drove to work this morning on a flat. I called my mom. The first person I think of when something goes wrong. And she was no help. So I called my knight in shining armor. Kyle of course, and he came out and helped a bit. He pushed the button on the canister of fix-a-flat. (he he) He also bought it. So !!yeah!! for Kyle.

~disconnect and let me drift, until my upside down is right side in~

I was invited to Kellie's tonight. It's cool to hang out with Kellie and Erin. I feel like I'm starting to find friends again. But I'm not going. I told Erin I'd burn that cd for her, and I'm opening tomorrow so I need some sleep. I wanted to get started with some research for this internet business idea. (which no one is taking me seriously by the way...and that's kind of discouraging.) My mom is about the only one who thinks I can do it. But she doesn't count cause she's starting one too. I'm just not very happy with the idea of having to go to school for 6 more years just to be a teacher. I mean, if teachers made 6 figures...that might be a plan. But I might as well go to medical school. I mean...dang. It's just too much more wasted time. I'm tired of wasting my time. I want to have a career. I think that I should be settled and comfortable with what I'm doing with my future by now. And I'm not entirely happy with teaching. SO...we're back to the drawing board!

~It's the only thing I know how to do~

So I got side tracked. I was talking about how nice it was to feel like I'm making friends. I don't recommend making friends with people you work with. I suppose it's ok if you're on the same level. But if you're planning on moving up the ladder...don't make a lot of friends. Cause they won't take you seriously once you're their authority figure. Just don't make friends. It was a mistake. Because now I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. And I'm bouncing back and forth between them...it's a painful job, but somebody's got to do it. RIGHT??? Unfortunately, I believe the answer to this question is no. And there are always other problems. It's hard when you know too much. And you attempt to confide in someone who has backward intentions.

~intuition tells me, that I'm doin fine. and intuition tells me when to draw the line.~

I'm just trying to have fun with what I'm doing. I don't want to end up doing something for the rest of my life that I hate. And I feel like, once again, I'm jumping the gun. There are lots of people in my age group who still have no clue as to what they're doing. I guess I just don't want to be left behind.

~guess it won't amount to much, won't be long before I crush~

So another conclusion to a quite eventful day. And now the daunting task of calling my cousin and beating information out of her for this wedding shower. Oh lovely day.

~then another one always says she'd do anything to get ahead. Doesn't care if she has to scratch and claw to get in the door. She wants her 15 minutes of fame. And 20 would be nice. But I guess it's her life.~

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