04-14-00 Friday *DEDICATED TO JEN. MY ONE AND ONLY PUPPY.*


Yes...I'm at home again on a Friday. No plans... because I was trying to keep my options open. I thought maybe something might come up in Wapak, or I could spend some time with Nicole. I might still do that. (If I can get a hold of her) But as it stands currently, Wapak is a no go. I have no idea if Mike is working or not. and we never decided what we could do. So I suppose if I get a call from my cousin then I'll go...but as of now I have absolutely NO plans. It's not like I ever have plans anyhow. I always do things spur-of-the-moment. and I'm not a big party person. I don't drink...I don't do ANYTHING. In some ways that's good, but sometimes I think it has its disadvantages. whatever.

~hideaway, take me now. I can not face another round.~

I just finished up reading Jen's page. This will explain why I'm dedicating this entry to her. She's been struggling with lots of things. College in general. and everyday I realize just how close it is to the end of my senior year. 24 days... It really makes me sad. but then I think about all the crap that goes down at school. gossiping...fights...immaturity... and I suppose it's normal in high school. but I also think about how everyone became a little more close this year. but we've also grown apart. It's all so crazy. Jen said something about going back to when she was in high school. I'd like to go back to that too. That was a hard time in my life. I hated everyday of my junior year. I struggled through it, and I'm amazed that I'm still here. Just thinking about it makes me want to give up because it's a lot like my situation now. All of my friends seem to have better things to do. I like a guy who couldn't give a crap less... I think I could have learned so much more. If my eyes had been open...I guess it's too late now. I'll get over this whole thing. I just can't stand going through the process. I just don't understand why I can't be a part of a normal relationship. That's what bothers me the most. I feel left behind. alone...

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