When I was 5 years old I learned how to be nice and play well with others.
When I was 5 I also learned how I would deal with pain for the next 20 years.
When I was 6 I learned what it meant to be gentle with things that are smaller and weaker than you are, and how to take care of people.
When I was 7 I learned that it's important to stand up for people who are smaller and weaker than you are, even if you get your dress torn in the process.
When I was 7 I found out that if I don't eat regularly I will pass out!
When I was 7 I learned how to really swim, not just the doggy paddle.
When I was 8 I learned to stand up for what I believed in, and that anything important was worth walking away.
When I was 8 I learned what failure was, and that I didn't like it one bit.
When I was 8 I learned that when you roughhouse with boys, you can actually hurt them, and I found out that it makes me sick to hurt another person.
At age 9 I found out that adults cry and swear sometimes, and that it's best just to let them finish once they start.
At age 9 I learned how to keep a level head in an emergency, and what a split eyebrow looks like.
At age 10 I climbed a mountain with my parents and sisters, and found out that you can really do anything you want, if you try, and that being nature is one of the greatest happinesses of my life.
When I was 12 I heard the word "popular" for the first time, and thought it was a dumb idea.
When I was 12 I learned that not being organized could make you fail.
When I was 12 I found out that when adults cry, sometimes they need a hug and someone to talk to, even if it's only their kid.
When I was 12 I learned that it's wrong to live your whole life unhappy.
When I was 12 I learned that there's no such thing as a fair custody arrangement for children when their parents can't agree on one.
When I was 12 I babysat professionally for the first time, and found out what having money was like. I didn't care for it.
When I was 13 I found out that I love to write, and have a knack for poetry.
When I was 13 I learned that no matter how klunky your knees are, or how clumsy you feel, you can still be a ballerina if you work on it hard enough.
When I was 13 I learned what it was like to speak in front of 500 people, and that it didn't scare me at all.
When I was 13 I learned that I love theatre.
When I was 13 I found out what it's like to lose a school election. I never cared enough to do it again.
When I was 13 I found out what sexual harassment was firsthand, and what it felt like to kick someone in the chin.
When I was 13 I found out what it was like to have someone have a crush on me.
When I was 13 I found out what it meant to be an icebreaker for my sisters, and always tried to make good impressions on my teachers after that, so that my sisters wouldn't suffer.
When I was 14 I found out what I thought a grown man looked like up close.
When I was 14 I learned what it's like to have a crush on another person.
When I was 14 I learned what hazing is, and saw its purpose, and didn't really mind it that much.
When I was 14 I learned what it's like to feel small, inexperienced, and clueless. I would remember this everytime I started something completely new from then on out.
When I was 15 I learned how important it is to hug your friends.
When I was 15 I learned what it really means to be there for someone when they are down.
When I was 15 I learned how much it hurts to be excluded, but that it's usually unintentional.
When I was 15 I learned that I didn't care if people were in cliques or not, and I would hang out with whoever I wanted to.
When I was 15 I learned to think for myself about my schoolwork, and hence about my life.
When I was 15 I went on my first date.
When I was 15 I had my first job, and learned what it's like to have to punch a time card.
... And to have to wait on people
... And to have to deal with a boss
... And to get paid nowhere near what you are worth.
When I was 16 I learned how to drive a car.
When I was 16 I had my first real kiss from someone who actually meant something to me.
When I was 16 I learned what it meant to be overcommitted and like it.
When I was 16 I got my first leading role in a play.
When I was 16 I discovered that I often got along better with a group of guys that I did with girls.
When I was 16 I learned that my oldest friends were my truest friends.
When I was 16 I learned what it felt like to really meditate, and what deity was.
When I was 16 I learned to work with adults, not under them.
When I was 16 I made my first real adult friends.
When I was 16 I found out how wonderful it feels to be held by a man (even a gay one)
When I was 16 I learned how to spoon, and loved that, too.
When I was 16 someone told be I was beautiful for the first time.
When I was 16 I learned that if I didn't have the discipline to do something all the way, I shouldn't do it at all.
When I was 16 I was a cheerleader for one semester, and learned to feel sorry for those popular, not-so-smart girls that most people envy.
When I was 16 I found out that I was considered an athlete, because of what all those years of ballet had done to my body. I liked it, and started to do things with it, and found out I loved exercise.
When I was 16 I learned what it was like to be really hungry.
When I was 16 I flew on an airplane for the first time, and travelled without my parents for the first time. I learned what it was to plan something for myself.
When I was 16 I learned what professionalism meant, and how important it was to me.
When I was 16 I learned how to improvise on the saxophone.
When I was 16 I learned about the wider world from other students at music camp.
When I was 16 I learned what fatigue really was, and didn't like it much.
When I was 16 I learned how to do things independently of my childhood friends and family.
When I was 17 I finally learned how to be organized enough to get good grades.
When I was 17 I found out that you as a child are obligated to try to please your parents, and when you don't they will cry.
When I was 17 I made out with someone for the first time, had sex, got pregnant, and became a parent.
When I was 17 I learned what childhood really is, and how much high schoolers take it for granted.
When I was 17 I learned that at least to some degree, you can't count on anyone but yourself.
When I was 17 I learned what it meant to be alienated.
When I was 17 I found out what prejudice was, and how it felt to have it aimed at myself.
When I was 17 I learned that people are all just people, no matter what other labels they had.
When I was 17 I learned that people's treatment of you reflects your own opinions of you.
When I was 17 I learned what money was and what it meant not to have any.
When I was 17 I learned about inconsiderate neighbors.
When I was 17 I learned that I hated being labelled, and swore I'd try never to do it to another person.
When I was 17 I learned that sometimes you have to put aside what you love to do in order to make other things happen.
When I was 17 I learned to straighten my spine and work with the mission of proving everyone wrong.
When I was 17 I learned what the word 'sacrifice' meant.
When I was 18 I learned how to live with a man. I hadn't since I was 12.
When I was 18 I learned what depression is.
When I was 18 I learned what it means to not eat in order to feed someone else.
When I was 18 I lived below the poverty level for 4 years.
When I was 18 I learned how to go without shoes, without a coat, and without a car.
When I was 18 I learned that I hate public transportation, and you can never get anywhere on time using it.
When I was 18 I failed my first test in school.
When I was 18 I learned that no matter how angry your parents are, they still love you.
When I was 18 I learned that kids don't need fancy stuff to be happy, they just want you to love them.
When I was 18 I found out that I need to make music, and that it is one of my only true comforts.
When I was 19 I learned what it's like to work, go to school, and parent full time.
When I was 19 I learned that if you don't have insurance, you can't get sick.
When I was 19 I got drunk for the first time.
When I was 19 I learned to look people in the eye and hold my head up high when they asked my age after seeing me with my 2-year-old.
When I was 19 I learned what defiance is, and what it really means to stop giving a damn what people think.
When I was 19 I learned that you have to protect your own reality in any way you can.
When I was 19 I learned to despise judgementalism. Is that a word?
When I was 19 I really began to appreciate my circle of friends and count on them.
When I was 20 I found out what it's like to be a doormat, and that I didn't like it.
When I was 20 I discovered that you can't have a relationship based solely on sex.
When I was 20 I swore I would never get drunk again.
When I was 20 I started to read books on other religions, and started to search for philosophies and answers.
When I was 20 I started my first martial art, and learned the difference between art and violence.
When I was 20 I learned that if something hurts you shouldn't do it.
When I was 20 I learned that you must always think before you speak.
When I was 20 I decided that religion is what you make of it, and whatever you believe is religion.
When I was 21 I called in sick to work for the first time, and golly, it was easy!
When I was 21 I discovered that where you live and how you live affects the way you feel inside.
When I was 21 I found out that I'm not the kind of person who can be parented by another adult.
When I was 21 I found out that being married was no reason to stay with someone, and that the institution of marriage by itself isn't enough to build a family. You have to actually be married to someone spiritually before you could marry them in the flesh.
When I was 21 I started getting a divorce, and when I was 22 I finished.
When I was 22 I learned what it meant to be truly poor, have a mountain of bills, and no one else to pay them.
When I was 22 I learned that "proving everyone wrong" is a fallacy, and not a goal in life.
When I was 22 I learned how to live alone for the first time in my life, and liked it.
When I was 22 I found out how scary it can be to sleep in your own house alone sometimes.
hen I was 22 I learned that the best thing you can do for the child of a divorce is to honor and respect that child by honoring and respecting both of her parents equally, even though they are apart.
When I was 22 I learned that making peace with other people is more important than making them or myself happy.
When I was 22 I went back to the theatre, and found out that it's like riding a bike. You can't forget how.
When I was 22 I realized how important it was to me to be needed by other people.
When I was 22 I realized that school wasn't as important to me as staying afloat.
When I was 23 I learned what it's like to be mainly happy with a man.
When I was 23 I learned that while kids can be the meanest people in the world, they are also probably the least judgemental and most openminded, too.
When I was 23 I learned that no matter how hard you try, you can't live on $7 per hour when you have a ton of old debt, and that creditors are all assholes who are out to make all the money they can, and that they will lie and cheat to get what they want.
When I was 24 I learned how humiliating it is to declare bankruptcy.
When I was 24 I learned how humiliating it is to get suspended from school, and discovered that I should have quit the minute I didn't want to be there.
When I was 24 I learned the real difference between mental age and physical age.
When I was 24 I learned to be infinitely grateful for my own mental competence.
When I was 24 I realized that until I could regularly eat, I wasn't going to be a very happy person.
When I was 24 I learned what it means to sell yourself.
When I was 24 I learned that it's not what you are, it's how you phrase it that matters to people.
When I was 24 I learned what it's like to cry myself to sleep.
When I was 24 I learned about making concessions.
When I was 24 I learned about betrayal.
When I was 24 I decided to never have any more kids.
When I was 24 I remembered how much I loved to go camping.
When I was 24 I learned to escape my life by getting out of town.
When I was 24 I started longing to get out of the city, and missing the stars at night.
When I was 24 I learned about tolerance, and felt that it was really important to approach every situation with tolerance.
When I was 25 I learned that there are somethings you can't tolerate.
When I was 25 I got my first 8-5 mon-fri job, and found out that it was pretty damn cool to have nights and weekends off.
When I was 25 I took my first real vacation in 7 years, and remembered much of where I came from.
When I was 25 I realized that your ideals are part of who you are, and you're lying if you deny them.
When I was 25 I realized that I was okay on my own, and didn't need anyone else to make me happy.
When I was 25 I also realized that I could be secure and self-confident on my own, and that this brought me a great deal of peace.
When I was 25 I realized that it's not who you're with, it's the relationship that you're in that counts. You can love a person very much, and not be in a healthy relationship... and you can be in a great relationship with someone you don't love.
When I was 25 I realized that everything always changes all of the time, and that brought me a lot of peace.
When I was 25 I learned that buying a house is very very confusing and difficult, but that you can get anything you want by presenting yourself in an organized fashion.
When I was 25 I learned that how ever much money you make, that's the minimum you will need, unless you discipline yourself otherwise.
When I was 25 I learned that benefits were just as wonderful as I always thought they would be.
When I was 25 I remembered how much I loved the outdoors, and that Little Point Au Sable is like home to me.
When I was 25 I learned that the worst person to deceive is yourself.
When I was 25 I learned that it brings one closer to one's kid to take that kid camping.
At 25 I had my first really nasty breakup with a man, and learned that no matter whether you're right or not, it still sucks to hurt someone dear to you.
Now that I'm 26 I found out that the high school seniors I thought had been grown men were really just boys trying really hard.
At 26 I found out that my method from age 5 of dealing with pain was pretty unhealthy, and started to learn to admit pain exists and move on.
At 26 I remembered that the only person to make me happy is me.
At 26 I learned that in order to really be a secure, confident adult you have to give up depending on your family, even if they are just your friends.
At 26 I learned too much about refinancing a car.
At 26 I learned that everytime you learn a lesson in life, you have to relearn it again later, with different circumstances.
At 26 I learned that sometimes the solution to one problem is a cause for another, so you have to just let go, and let things work themselves out.
At 26 I learned that tackling the world and wrestling with it isn't always the best way to win.
At 26 I learned that I'm not capable of being a true cynic.
At 26 I discovered that there is such a thing as the kind of love that shoots down from the moon on an October night and pushes two unwilling people together, defying all their reasoning.
At 26 I learned that I should never deny the fairy tale moments in life, because they happen so rarely that they must be remembered forever.
At 26 I learned that it takes a few months after just meeting someone to know everything about each other, and that it's easy to learn each other's strengths, and sometimes painful to learn each other's faults.
At 26 I wrote all of this because I hoped that I wouldn't keep forgetting everything I had learned before, and falling back into old patterns.
