So here. This is Detective Friday giving "just the facts' Ma'am. (I'm trying to keep my sense of humor. It's hard, because I'm completely pissed off.)
1. I never cheated on my ex-boyfriend. Not ever. Not even a glance, a touch, or a wink. I admit to occasional fantasies involving Antonio Banderas. But that's it.
2. I broke up with him a week ago.
3. On Saturday night I had Michele and Forest over to my house. We would have all rather gone out, but Kirstin was asleep upstairs. We chatted until Michele left, at probably midnight.
4. Sometime after midnight I indulged in a kiss with Forest.
5. We ended up in a bit of a make-out session.
6. The most incriminating thing I can remember doing was rolling on the floor a bit. (I had just pinned him to the floor before kissing him.)
7. We were both fully clothed.
8. For some unknown reason my ex-boyfriend was watching us through the window of my house.
9. Ex-boyfriend had been jealous of Forest before, and I had explained that nothing was going on.
10. Nothing was.
11. Recently new rumors have been flying that we were together during Midsummer Night's Dream, and disappeared backstage as a couple. These rumors are completely false. I gave Forest, Matt, and Michele backrubs during the show, and they backrubbed me. The four of us tickle-fought and group-hugged. That was IT. Forest and I went to the Renaissance Faire together, but I had only known him for a week at the time, and we talked all day about the show, and he tried to convince me that I could make things work out with ex-boyfriend.
12. Forest frequently sleeps at my house. This apparently fuels the suspicion.
13. At 1 a.m. on Sunday morning I got an outraged shouting phone call from my ex-boyfriend who has decided to take up the torch of righteous indignation and accused me of having been lying to him and cheating on him since Midsummer Night's Dream.
14. He yelled and I tried to explain, and tried to defend myself, and tried to tell him he was wrong. (Opinion: I don't think he was listening to me.)
15. He bitterly said I should tell Forest to enjoy "his four years" and hung up on me.
16. I was livid, and stayed up until probably 5 in the morning staring at a candle. I got almost 2 hours of sleep.
17. On Sunday I didn't feel like I could stay at my own house, because of the previous night's spying, so I left at 8 a.m. and spent the entire day driving around in my car.
18. In my car on Sunday I found a letter from ex-boyfriend which can only be described as an attack. Here are some choice excerpts:
"It is my hope that every kiss and touch shared with Forest not only reminds you of the past, but resounds with the clarion call of shame and misdeeds you have both undertaken. May your touches become dull beneath layers of lies, while your sweet nothings become muted affirmations dressed in sullied garb."
"You feel that we all question your ability to reason, yet you continue to act as if you have none."
"With regards to Kirsin: Your carnal needs seem to have supplanted your concern. These deeds also provide apt justification for inquiry into her status and care."
"You chose a comfortable path of lies, instead of respecting someone you claimed to still wish to call friend."
19. I was completely outraged by the letter.
20. He called me on my Cel phone and demanded that I come over and pick up my stuff and give him my keys. Kirstin was in the car at the time and I didn't want to bring her anywhere near him when he had been acting that way. SO I told him no, and I would do that on Friday, which is the next time we were both available.
21. I met Forest for dinner in Lansing, and he was really really upset.
22. Ex-boyfriend had left an even-more-malicious spiteful letter on Forest's car. He attacked all the things about Forest that are most important to him. He used the words "beneath contempt", "dishonorable", "lacking in integrity", and "rutting boar child". (Opinion: this made me more angry than ANY of the things he has ever said to me. Don't attack my friends, who had NOTHING to do with our relationship problems.)
23. Forest's response to me was that he doesn't mind being hated, but wishes he was being hated for the right reasons. He doesn't like the unfairness of it.
24. At home, at about 8 o'clock at night, it was dark out. I sent Kirstin up to get ready for bed. Forest and I were on the back porch, both of us venting our frustrations with the situation.
25. Someone walked by on the dark sidewalk. I believe it was ex-boyfriend by the walk and the posture, but it was dark, so I can't be too certain. The indignant snort was also a clue. I don't know how long he was there, or what he heard.
26. Forest and I went inside. He had the presence of mind to go upstairs and keep Kirstin occupied, because ex-boyfriend was on the front porch.
27. Ex-boyfriend didn't say anything about spying on us. He just demanded his house key.
28. Outraged that he was AGAIN showing UP AT MY HOUSE unannounced, I said I would get it and slammed the door, so he wouldn't be able to come in.
29. I gave him his key very angrily, and went to close the door. He asked me why *I* was angry with *him*. It was the first time he had asked me an open question all weekend.
30. I told him I was angry because he left angry, spiteful, horrible letters on my friends' cars while they were parked in my driveway.
31. He started to launch into his accusations again. It was exactly the same thing he had said the night before.
32. I tried again to explain. Twice. I perceived he wasn't listening, so I said "You're not listening. Leave." He started to argue the same thing again. I again said "you're not listening. Leave now."
33. He left.
34. My munchkin, thank the gods, didn't hear anything.
Here are my feelings on the subject:
1. I'm afraid of losing all of my friends because they believe him and not me
2. I hate that my house feels like a war zone.
3. His attempts to impress his dominance on me by showing up whenever he wants to at my house and never once paying me the courtesy of calling first have really bothered me.
4. I hate being spied on
5. I am afraid of losing Forest because of all this crap. He didn't deserve any of this, and he was personally attacked in the process.
6. I feel embarrassed and ashamed for having shouting matches on my porch at 1 a.m.
7. I am crushed because he threw away any chance we had at friendship with his conclusions
8. I am even more crushed because Kirstin lost her best friend in all of this. There's no way I can trust him to let Kirstin go over there, and I can't imagine he will feel any differently, since he has decided that I'm so contemptible.
9. That was the worst confrontation of my life, and I feel like a terrible person for having been so angry. For still being so angry.
10. I feel like I'm in an indefensible position, because it's his word against mine and Forests.
11. This whole thing makes me sick to my stomach
12. I am floored by how fast his feelings for me changed from "not caring" to "completely in love" to "contempt".
13. I'm more pissed off than I have ever been in my life.
14. I want to run away, and I probably will this weekend for a few days, because he has shown that I can't have peace from him.
15. I dread that he will inevitably report all of this to my mother. (He did it before, he'll do it again, I have little doubt.)
16. I feel that this is all an obvious way for him to NOT take responsibility for any of the reasons we broke up. He has always dodged responsibility in the past. I should have seen it coming. He's going to make me out as the bad guy and carry his torch of righteous indignation.
Obviously, I'm completely fried. If I didn't have to work I would have been up north by 10 a.m. this morning and not spoken to anyone at all for a week. I don't know if I should contact my friends or not. I don't feel like I should HAVE to defend myself against his accusations, but then again, if I don't, maybe they will assume that everything is true, hence I lose all my friends.
