Of course, my story doesn't really relate, because in a way I am responsible for the destruction. I broke things off with Boyfriend today, after a long period of just not knowing what to do. I think it will be good if he doesn't think about me for a while, and if I don't have to tell him "no" every day anymore. From now on I think I'll just call him Friend. I hope he will become one. We've hurt each other enough for one lifetime I think.
I'm exhausted. This was a terrible weekend, but a liberating one.
Mostly I feel badly for having hurt someone again. I also feel sad for Shelly who is being bombarded with this from all sides. As if she doesn't have enough going on in her own life. She's way too nice, and should really just smack me for being such an idiot this weekend. I'm glad she's there, though. Shelly's the kind of friend who takes you easily into her confidences, and provides great counsel. I am convinced that she is holding Friend together, and I'm really very grateful. It's nothing I could thank her for, though. Shel would do that for anyone. She's that cool.
