Last night roomie finally decided to talk to me about what has been bugging him for a week. Of course before he would do this I had to get really pissed off at him for not talking to me anymore, and chided him for not treating me like a best friend. For a month now, he has not been talking to me. When I talk, he isn't even listening, he just stares at me. Doesn't even nod his head. It's mean. He was completely cutting me off.
So after I confronted him with his behavior, he conceded that it bothers him that I am talking about rooting myself in one place for 10 years. He feels that I am on a "different page" and he isn't ready for that. He compared me with his ex-wife, and how she plunged ahead with a home life and was going to "drag him down" with her, and how much that bothered him.
None of this really suprises me. I know that he hasn't chosen to grow up yet. I'm hoping some time on his own will show him the value of adult thinking. Or maybe it won't. Nonetheless, it *did* suprise me that he had been thinking of us as a couple in that way, such that it hurts him that he feels I'm in a different stage of life.
I pointed out that I am not ready for being stuck for 10 years either, but it's something that I am forced to do. I can't rent in Eaton Rapids forever and still expect to put Kirstin through college. It's too expensive. And I think it's a bad idea to constantly move a kid from one school to another. She needs to stay in one place. I also pointed out that I'm still the same person, with big dreams and little realities, and that I still go to arcades with him, and still play in theatre all the time, and still want him to try to open up to me so I can be his best friend.
The conversation basically ended there. I'm not sure what the result of all of this will be. I wish he would just stop shutting me out and tell me what he obviously wants to say. How far can he push me before I break?
