Just kidding.
This was a semi-nice weekend, but thoroughly exhausting and frustrating. Friday night rather than do what I ought to have done, I went straight back from work and picked Kirstin and Forest up. We went to dinner at Steak N' Shake, and headed out to see Dr. Faustus in Bath. Forest and I were both tired, but he slept on the way there in the car, and I was too excited to care, as was Kirstin. We sang Shania Twain songs loudly the whole way. We never have to worry about that with Forest. A herd of elephants could run by and he wouldn't wake up.
Faustus was really great. Many of my friends had very good performances, and though I could see a few nervous moments, I think the show went very well. Daryl made a wonderful Mephistopheles. His facial expressions were truly inhumanly evil, and his voice work was just flat-out amazing. Forest and I were both floored. I've worked with Daryl before, and knew he was good and creative, but he really challenged himself with this one, and came out on top. Transitions!! Wow. It was a great performance.
Richard's Faustus was also really fun to watch. He did a nice job with the transitions, and managed to keep the sanity and humanity in place as it should be for that role. His big huge platter full of monologues had lots of energy, and never got into droning monotony, as I've seen actors do in auditions before. He always had focus, and kept the idea of what he was saying on the front of his thoughts. Mental control is a tough thing in theatre, and I think Richard was doing a good job of it.
Shelly was the greatest suprise! I knew she was pleased to be cast in a fun role (Robin) but she hadn't said much about it since then, so I had no idea what to expect. Her physicality and stage presence were great! Either she put in a lot of time on it, or a lot of energy, or she's just plain a natural at physical comedy. Everything she did was light, fluid, and full of motion. There was a wonderful contrast between the way she played Robin and the way the rest of the cast walked, talked, and looked, and I think that contrast is an important part of the play. Shelly shifted moods, and brought in the humor and energy for the whole show. She also spoke very well and clearly, and I thought she had some of the best-delivered comic sequences in the show.
ANDY!! Andy was really great in this show, too. I can't believe Andy doesn't act more often. He's just plain good at it. He had two seperate characters which contrasted very well. I enjoyed his dry wit. Bridgette had two characters, too, the Pope and Dick, and it was also a nice contrast, although there was so much difference built in between the two that I think it would have been a relatively easy contrast to make. She had a great compliment to Shelly in her "Dick" character, though if I were the director I think it would have been fun to have the bouncy, quick-paced, intelligent Robin-Shelly contrasted with a Ssslllooooooowwww, dumb Bridgette-Dick. Still, it was enjoyable. The pope was the pompous buffoon Marlowe intended her to be... but I think one of my favorite scenes was immediately after that, when the monks are circumambulating the room, chanting "Cursed be he that stole her holiness’ meat, Cursed be he that struck her holiness on the head. Cursed be he that disturbeth our holy dirge. Cursed be he that took away her holiness's wine..." I'm paraphrasing, but it was straight out of Monty Python, with them bonking themselves on the head between chants. I might have been the only one who laughed, but it was darn funny.
It was strange to be in Bath again for a show I wasn't acting in, but this time I wasn't all alone, so it wasn't quite so odd a feeling. I ran into Jeff's friend Monica at intermission, and prattled on at her endlessly, introduced her to Forest, and gave her the scoop on the first half, which she'd missed during her long drive in from Chicago.
Only after the show when I overheard someone introducing her as Jeff's girlfriend did I have any clue what was going on. I haven't got a problem in the world with it; I'd be damn glad if I knew that Jeff Croff was dating someone and really happy and was moving on with his life in some appropriate manner. I just wish I had known what was going on! I don't think I said anything that would have been offensive, but if I had known I would have let her lead the conversation more. In fact since I didn't know, I pretty much led her verbally as though I was a hostess (this is BCTG we're talking about, it's a reflex) and she were a guest. Of course that isn't the case, and I certainly wouldn't want to make her feel removed from the situation or out of place.
Forest and I stayed for a few minutes after the show to congratulate everyone, and I tried to introduce him to everyone he didn't know, but somehow missed Richard in the process. Forest was pretty bummed out about that, since he really liked Rick's performance. I know, I'm a social moron.
I really try to keep an open mind, but I think Jeff still doesn't know how to handle my presence. I don't know if it was because he'd rather I didn't know that he was there with Monica, or if he's still just plain upset with me, or what, but once again I tried to talk to him to congratulate him, and basically got blown off again. I think I'm going to stop trying. He won't even look at me. STILL.
I wrote him a big long email with all sorts of nice things to say about the show, and suggestions of things I thought he might want to know in the vein of constructive criticism. I thought email would be better, because it's a more neutral thing. People don't have to try to read each other's faces while doing email. I invited him to bring Alex and Monica to a bonfire I'm having for a bunch of friends (hopefully) to wish Tiffy well on her way to Finland. I got a one line response that amounted to "we'll see," with no answers to my other questions, and my offer to help publicize Faustus this week.
Then again, that's a pretty typical JeffCroff response. I shouldn't be disappointed by it.
Somebody really ought to publicize that show, though. It's a shame that more people haven't gone to see it.
When we drove away, Kirstin went instantly to sleep in the car. In the back of my head I was thinking that all my friends would now be headed to Barley's for drinks, laughter, trivia, nachos, and relaxation. It would have been great fun to do a show with everyone, and I regretted that I didn't do it. They all seem to have had a good (though exhausting) experience, and have gotten closer through yet another common adventure, when I have pulled myself even farther away. I miss them. I particularly miss simply getting together in a big group with them and listening to the silly comments fly. I'm not that quick with snappy comebacks or whatever, but it's fun to listen to the ones who are.
As I was starting to feel lonely, I pointed out laughingly to Forest that I wished I had known that Monica and Jeff were dating before I spoke to her, but that I thought it was nice that despite my accidental treatment of her as an outsider, people seemed to be making her feel like one of the gang. Forest, a complete stranger to the situation, rather quietly said that he was jealous of Monica, in a way.
Huh?? When I questioned him, (wondering why the hell he'd want to date Jeff) he said that my theatre friends seemed to accept her and approve of her readily. He doesn't feel like my friends are very encouraging of him. They don't invite us to do things as a couple, and so on. I tried to point out that everyone knew Monica from way back. Geez, I think Bridgette knew Monica before Jeff did, because they worked together. I also tried to explain that I'm not terribly close to my friends right now (something I really ought to change but don't know how), and he's not spent a lot of time with them, so he ought to just relax about it, and in time they'd come around.
Then it was his turn to be lonely, when he realized how rarely my friends call us, and how rarely his own friends have been calling as well.
Then we both went downhill in a hurry, getting really sad, lonely and depressed together. We got home at 11 PM, and though we had intended to stay up and have some fun together, we went to bed instead, and cried/cuddled each other to sleep.
Neither one of us thinks there's anything we can do about it, so there's no sense staying awake in that mood.
The morning came like a ton of bricks, and I stumbled out of bed, into the shower, and off to Lansing before 8 AM. It was a hideously bright and beautiful day. I think I wore my sunglasses inside the house. I went in to the bedroom before I left, snuggled Forest and gave him a huge kiss. He snuggled me back, told me he loved me, and I was on my way.
The funny thing is that a half hour later I called him from my cel phone to make sure he knew the plan for Kirstin's Sunday morning, and he was all disappointed. "I wish you would have woken me up, so I could have given you a proper goodbye, " he said. Isn't that sweet?
I informed him that he'd hugged me, kissed me, and told me how much he loved me, and he sighed with frustration. Apparently he's capable of being a romantic sweety even in his sleep. I laughingly said I would give him one more chance, and he gave me a huge smooch over the phone that all the passengers in my van could hear. My god I love that man. We were both in better moods, and though I would miss him, I set my mind on the trip ahead.
It was a LONG trip. I hate driving in a caravan. There were six vehicles in our group, each fitted out with a CB radio so we could communicate. The one man who knew where we were going was in the lead, and his speedometer was broken. Once I looked down and we were going 45 in a 65! AUGH. Then we had to make two potty breaks and stop for lunch. What should have been a 3 hour trip took us about 5 hours. It was enough to make me just a little nuts. And very very tired.
When we got to scenic Elyria, Ohio, we unpacked all our junk and rehearsed for a couple of hours, then went to meet our host families for dinner.
This time I got lucky, and my hosts were normal people living in the 20th century. There was indoor plumbing and electricity. Dinner was a delicious pot roast with homemade bread, white wine, and green bean casserole, served on a beautiful table heaped with flowers. Heck, the man even showed off his new DVD player to me, by showing Contact, which is probably one of my favorite recent movies. It was really quite relaxing. I could have watched Contact all night long, I was so tired. There was even a big golden retriever named Buddy who smooshed his head against my leg very cozily. Unfortunately, we had to go play a concert.
It went rather well, considering how tired I felt. It wasn't sleepiness, so much as I just felt drained. I kept thinking of Forest and wanting him to be there with me. I know, I'm a dork!
After the concert we went for dessert at another man's house, and had cheesecake with beautiful raspberries on top. It was delicious, but I admit that I was so tired at 11 PM I didn't really get enthusiastic about it. I wasn't the only one with black circles under her eyes, so soon we went back to our host house. I was invited to stay up and watch the rest of Contact, or socialize a while, but I was so tired that I decided to go straight to bed.
I climbed into my PJs and up onto the bed, and used my celly to call Forest and wish him goodnight. He's such a sweety, he missed me as much as I missed him, and filled me in on all the goings-on there. Kirstin had been good for him, but reported she missed me, and wished I wasn't gone all weekend. I promised myself I'd call her the next day when she'd be awake, wished Forest many "I love you's" and "good nights", and went to bed. The last thing I remember was shuffling up to open the bedroom door and let Buddy in. We shared the twin size bed nicely.
In the morning I woke up before my alarm, much to my suprise. Actually, I've been getting the hang of mornings lately. I'm always better at it when the sun rises early in the day. My eyes usually pop open a few minutes before they need to. It's nice. I went downstairs to find the lady of the house awake and shuffling around the kitchen. I used their nice clean shower with the massage head, and thought this was sort of like a hotel, but better, since it was free, I got doggy-time, free food and a movie. The people there were also nice, and though we didn't have a lot in common, at least we could find some things to talk about.
Breakfast was the way they always have it at their house, which I thought was a neat idea. They plug in a toaster at each end of the table, and pile the breads, bagels, and toppings in the middle. You make your own toast, and top it with whatever you want. I stuck with cinnamon and sugar, and it was lovely indeed. I don't particularly like to stay with people who slave away for hours to make me a nice breakfast, because I always feel guilty for my lack of morning appetite. My body is used to a slice of bread, an apple, or a single packet of oatmeal in a cup for breakfast, and that's it. There's really no changing that.
The church we attended and performed in that Sunday was absolutely beautiful. It had a great big square sanctuary with the pews facing into a nice staging area in one corner. The stained class windows were Tiffany glass, and absolute works of art; one of the three wisemen bringing gifts to the baby Jesus, and the other of the three women at the tomb when the angel rolls aside the stone to show them that it's empty. I think it's a neat theme they were using, comparing the three wise men with the three women of Judaea. (I think that's where they were from.) The windows also faced east and west, so that at sunrise and sunset they were spectacular.
As soon as we finished playing in church we packed up for the next performances, and so it continued until it was time to go home. Happily, I was assigned to drive ahead and take the teenagers home at a reasonable hour, since they had school in the morning. I was all too happy to get to break the speed limit a bit. Hell, I was glad to be going faster than 45 MPH.
I got home at about 10 PM, and came in to see my mom and Forest having a rather serious-looking discussion. Apparently they were sharing their concerns about Kirstin. (See Homeless Munchkins) I plunked down and we talked about it for a while, basically coming up with no new ideas. What it comes down to is that Kirstin's trouble feeling like she doesn't belong at home is complicated by the fact that she doesn't have friends at school. She just doesn't fit in. She plays at home with kids who are much younger than she, and acts like them sometimes. She still likes Barney, and kids her age certainly don't know what to make of that.
On the other hand, she has many people she considers her friends who are in their mid/late-twenties, and in many ways, her thinking is too *old* for a third grader. She sees kids doing the stupid childish things that kids do, decides that they are stupid, and won't play with them. For instance, she was starting to get to know a group of girls in her class, but then saw them teasing another kid. She didn't think it was funny, so she told them to stop it. They didn't. So then she refused to play with them anymore.
But of course the kid she stood up to defend doesn't want to be her friend either, because she's just plain an outsider, and who wants to be associated with the class outcast?
I feel terrible about this, but what can I do about it? Kirstin's a sweet, kind, loving, loveable kid, who doesn't deserve to be picked on and alienated; but as much as it breaks my heart to see her so lonely, I can't exactly go to school and make the other kids be nice to her.
Every day she goes to school with her chin up and a certain look of hope on her face, and every day at the end of the day her chin is down and so is she. I hate that, and I'm powerless against it. Forest says she just has to stand up and force her way in to play with these kids. He ought to know, he moved around a lot as a kid. In fact, I know that she tends to spend recess talking to the teacher, reading a book, or jumping rope, alone. It makes me want to cry to think about it.
She knows she's unhappy, too, and says so once in a while. I wish I knew how to help.
After my mom left last night, Forest and I kissed and snugged and were very happy to be back together again. We folded laundry forever and a day, and watched a funny old Eddie Murphy standup routine that had us both laughing out loud. It was a nice way to relax, and too soon we were in bed, snuggling each other to sleep.
Then, too soon, the alarm was going off, and we were snuggling again, with reluctance to get out of bed. I took extra time with Kirstin this morning in an attempt to pay her some extra attention without her having to ask for it, and I think that was a good idea. I figure she is almost always well-behaved and organized in the morning, so it's a good time for positive friendship-type interaction, because I don't have to BE the bossy parent-type then.
Bill, Kathy, Forest and I are planning to put our heads together in June sometime and plan how we can solve a lot of these problems in the coming year. In the meantime, we're just trying to get through the rest of this school year without shaking anything up. Maybe we can figure out what the current mistakes are and work through them. It might mean switching houses every other month instead of each week, and then being sure we include her in our respective social lives by inviting her to do things no matter which house she's in. We'll see.
In the meantime, she's off to Bill and Kathy for the week, and I'm hoping it will be a good one.
Tonight I don't have to go to bell choir, thank heavens, so I'm going to go to Forest's beginning Tae Kwon Do class instead. It's their test day, and I might be able to help out a few people. If not, I can work on my own test forms. They are due to be performed tomorrow. As usual I feel somewhat overprepared and somewhat unprepared for my test. I know all the moves, but I don't feel like I'm as close to perfection as I would like yet, and Forest assures me that I never will be. I'm not going to go nuts about it this time, though. I'm going to settle for the best I can do. Yep.
Today my helpful honey got prices for tires to put on my van. We're going to pick them up on Wednesday. It's about time I did this, but it's kind of a depressing way to spend money. It'll be $250 or so, down the tubes. Not spent at a hotel sunning myself, not spent on games, restaurants, or comfy slippers. Tires. Ick. It's just like buying a dumb washer and dryer. I mean, who enjoys spending an entire paycheck on something that amounts to a big pile of work in the future?
I suppose this is more than enough babble for one day. Hey, my friend Tiff started her own journal, called Honesty. Good title, I think. Check it out.
