When I met Jeff he was a goofy guy. He still is. I didn't really get to know him terribly well for a long time, until we realized that we were both married to people with similar personalities, and we would occasionally laugh about that together.
I don't remember how I started to love him. We would go for long, long walks, and talk our hearts out. He knew where I was coming from on a lot of things, and didn't laugh at my unusual ideas about life. He turned into a confidant, someone I could talk to when things weren't going well, and he could always cheer me up when I was down.
I remember that we both liked Man of La Mancha, and that he said I was his Dulcinea, made of fire and air. Jeff could always talk like that.
We dreamed together a lot. I wanted to leave behind my life as a scullery maid and run off to be something great. My dreams were a life of music, and drama. At the time I hadn't been making music or on stage in years, and was terribly missing those things.
He dreamed of a different sort of freedom that he wanted. He imagined himself off on an island somewhere, writing the next great American drama. But then he also dreamed about finding a place as a director, and getting to create great things that people could see. He was always wanting to tell a story. He wanted to toss aside his responsibilities and fly to a place where he could do that. I thought they were lovely dreams.
I remember his tickling the back of my neck with a long blade of grass while we were hiking.
He knew my favorite beach, and understood my love of the lake. He and I are both outdoor people at times. He also understood my need to be athletically active, and it was actually his idea that I try Aikido. He helped me get back into theatre again.
He was one of those few people that I really relate to as a person, on an individual level.
He has this really great ability to be completely childish sometimes, that I really enjoy, too, even though later I might have wished he'd grow up, one of the really beautiful things about him is that he never really has grown up. He's got all the cynicism of an adult, but still hasn't adopted the rigidity, the pall of responsibility.
I remember when Alex was born, how delicately he handled her, and the great faces he used to make at her. He still makes a lot of those faces. He's one of those dads that doesn't want to have to be the disciplinarian, he would rather be a playmate. It's endearing, in its own way.
I always appreciated his ability to bluntly tell me when I was being too impatient.
He has a great sense of humor, and of irony, and is really a very talented human being, as far as creativity and artistry go.
Jeff has an ability to be very sensitive and sympathetic, and he knows when you need him to be there for you. If you really honestly need him to be serious, he can drop all his silliness and be someone you can count on. He doesn't commit himself lightly, so you can bet that if he says he will do something, Jeff will DO it.
Jeff likes to do things on the spur of the moment, and he's a leader. When Jeff decides, people follow. He doesn't need them, though. Jeff is a furiously independent person, and would not hesitate to start out something completely new and different all on his own. In that way, he doesn't care what other people think.
One of the oddest things about him is that he doesn't understand why people like him so much, and why they hang onto him so much. He seems to think sometimes that he could run away on a whim. Is he really one of those "free spirits" that you read so much about? The ones that just can't be caged?
He always accepted the crazy new ideas I had, or things I did. He tried to give me honest advice when I would go too far.
Whenever I would jokingly say I was "psychic", he would joke back that I was missing a couple of letters in there. Hee hee. (You know, O, and T)
I understood a lot about him by watching him with the guys we worked with at CMH. He really cared about those guys, a lot. He has a soft heart for people who can't stand up for themselves.
I always liked how he looked, but especially when he dressed up. He was great fun to shop with and shop for, because he's willing to dress in a way that only he would. He has his own style.
He and I could go to endless movies together and used to go see shows together a lot. I loved our talks afterward. Between the two of us we can certainly debate any theatrical performance into the ground.
Jeff is actually very protective of his friends. He sees it somewhat like a wolf pack, and views himself as the alpha male. People think he's kidding when he's talking about this, but he's not, in some ways. He often approaches group situations with that analogy in his head. Naturally, he won't let the predators invade the pack.
Jeff's a very educated guy, who loves to read the great classics of literature just for kicks. We also very much enjoyed going to art museums together.
Jeff is always willing to help out a friend who truly needs him, no matter how inconvenient it might be. He will sacrifice anything for that.
Jeff has no tolerance for small talk. He can't stand it! He won't hold a conversation with someone unless he's actually interested in them and what they are saying. It's sort of refreshing.
Jeff would rather be a passenger. I would rather drive. We always got along well that way.
He's really funny, sometimes. He can have a room on the floor with just an expression, and plays with people verbally. He loves to pick on Shelly for her train of thought, for example. In a lot of ways he becomes rather big-brotherish to a lot of people. I often thought of him that way... well, except for the sex part.
He's not afraid of physical contact with people. He likes to wrestle around, tickle, and rough-house with the best of them. I have many fond memories of his wrestling with Curt, or Yeffy, and joking about it being a trial of male dominance. In fact, it was just fun.
Most of the problems I think Jeff has with the world aren't faults of his own, but have left issues that he needs to deal with.
Jeff is a bed-hog, and he snores like there is no tomorrow! I always ended up curled up on the edge of the bed, fighting for the blankets.
Then he would always joke about it.
He loves dogs. A happy dog makes him smile, in a huge way. I enjoyed watching him play with my mom's dog often.
More later. I'm out of time!
