It's like riding a great roller coaster every year. I naturally celebrate the pagan holidays just by living, and soaking up the changes in the world around me. Today I am completely in an ostara-preparatory mood. It's beautiful outside, and I feel myself being brought back to life after a dormant, quiet winter. The sun is slowly returning, and in response I feel more vigorous, brighter, and sunnier on the inside.
It's not that I celebrate because the calendar says its time, like the 4th of July. I celebrate because my body just does it. It's wonderful, and it's why I stick with my own beliefs. I just can't bring myself to observe a religious calendar that's not related to the world around it. At least I can get along fairly well with the Christian folks, since most of their holidays coincide with changes in nature, too. I'm sure the pope doesn't intend it that way, but things line up nicely with the changes in the seasons.
Since I'm feeling the revitalization of spring so early this year, I think I'm going to take it as a hint and fast until ostara. It's a handy time of year to do that sort of thing, because so many people give up things for lent, and they will generally respect the wishes of fasting people, and not try to tempt them. I'm not planning an extremist fast, or anything. Just my usual. No caffeine, no soda, no prepackaged junk food (chips, candy, little debbies, all loaded with preservatives.) If it comes in cellophane, it's off limits. I can have sweets, but only if I make them myself. No red meat from fast food places, no french fries.
Forest was worried I'd be missing nutrients, but that's not really the case. Actually, I feel like I am usually healthier when fasting, because I eat more fruits and vegetables, and drink more water.
If the fast feels really good, I might just go through beltaine, who knows.
Anyway. I found a great song that reminded me of an odd thing about Forest and I. Really, neither one of us uses the other's name. To me, he's not Forest, or Biff. To him, I'm not Wendy. I don't know if it makes any sense, but part of the reason is that we just plain know each other too well for that. Names don't fit. Titles don't fit, either. It's wierd to call him my boyfriend.
"There's not a word yet for old friends who've just met.Good old Gonzo groks the situation. It's the feeling of a place you're going, but a place you've already been. An action you're taking, but a state that already exists. This is the more bizarre part of my relationship with Forest. It's hard to explain.
Part heaven, part space, or have I found my place?
You can just visit, but I plan to stay.
I'm going to go back there someday."
Maybe we really are two halves of the same whole. Maybe he's really part of me.
I have meetings all day today, and no chance to eat. Hopefully, I will get to leave work a little early since I'm not going to get lunch time. Forest and I will go close the Store, and then hit the hills for a while before going to gaming. Heee hee. It's a little case of spring fever, but I'm enjoying it!
