this is something i need ....
[
Stay Here With Me]
[
Not Again]
[
Crimson Tears]
[
Confusion]
[
Jagged Drops]
"Stay Here With Me"
I see the razor glisten
As it opens and enters my skin.
Seeing the blood, observing the wound,
Helps me feel the pain within.
I try to cry,
But somehow it seems the tears are blocked.
Please, someone,
Find a way to open everything that is locked.
I look in your eyes,
And there I see,
I see it all.
I see the pain you feel when looking at me.
Finally I've found you,
And you have found the key.
Please don't go.
Please stay here with me.
Don't run and hide.
Don't leave when I scare you.
Please try to understand,
I don't know what else to do.
My heart aches,
And only you can set me free.
From all of the things
That must not be.
I look and feel the scars,
And silently I pray
To Almighty God,
"I don't wanna live this way."
Why won't the longing go?
Why won't the urge let me be?
Everything I am
It will always be part of me.
But you're the one.
You're who I need.
Please don't go.
Stay always here with me.
"Not Again"
I smile for you.
That is what you want to see.
Please, oh please,
Don't look deeper inside of me.
I want to always be
Your happy shining star.
I can be that for you,
If you never see my scars.
The tears are falling.
You will never see.
The tears are falling
Deep inside of me.
I try to ignore it,
The blade's calling song.
I am resisting.
But for how long?
I can't hang on.
I can't resist anymore.
Smile at me, blade,
You've finally won the war.
The razor cuts me.
The urge finally subsides.
Seeing the blood.
Is the way that I cry.
Don't be afraid.
Don't hate me please.
You don't understand.
This is something I need.
"Crimson Tears"
It's time again.
I know I won't emerge unscathed.
I'm lost and alone.
If only I knew the way.
I look and see that I'm bleeding.
This evil scarlet lake
Drowns the agony within.
It kills this violent ache.
Crimson tears dripping from my arm.
I flinch as the blade sinks too deep.
Sorrow, shame, deplorable scars,
Depression, and fear is all that I reap.
"Confusion"
Soothe this wearisome itch
With the sharpness of the steel.
Wound and scar my skin.
Expose the pain that I feel.
Trying and failing,
Longing to feel alive.
Afraid to live,
But refusing to die.
Damning myself to a prison
Of bloody scars and silent screams.
Strike my face, pull me tight.
Tell me what all of this means.
"Jagged Drops"
Tattoo and mar my body
With the deafening roar of the pain.
Each scar an attempted justification.
All of which were made in vain.
Every slice of the blade,
Cuts so deep it punctures my soul.
With every scarlet drop,
I'm pulled further into this hole.
I sigh and close my eyes.
I'm exhausted, too tired to fight.
I tell you I'm okay, just fine.
But deep inside, I know I'll never be alright.
© 2000 B.Smile
