I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for everything, you guys.

I'm sorry for the broken promises of a new chapter.

I'm sorry for the times I told you I would do something but I didn't.

I'm sorry for letting you all down.

But I finally realized I need to apologize for not being responsible enough and saying what I need to say soon enough.

I'm not sure how long this is all going to take, but I'm going to try and explain my situation to everyone here so you all don't hate me as much as you already do.

I'm coming to one of the points in my life, or better yet, I am in one of those points in a persons life when things start to change, when you realize, I'm not a girl, not yet a woman. Oh, PLEASE! I'm not that delusional yet, hehe. but seriously, I've gotten to one of those points where things are just different.

When I started out this website, I was a dorky little 13-year-old girl, with no life. I had friends, went out every so often, wanted a boyfriend, didn't have to worry about much of anything. I was, afterall, young and hadn't grown up much.

But as I see myself now, things have changed so much so quickly I don't know what to do. I'm growing up, can everyone believe that? Yes, I still act like I'm 3. Yes, I still fart on people and mock my Mom when she talks but when it comes down to it, I'm just different.

I'm in a serious relationship with someone right now, that I love very much. Someone I want to give my everything to without worries or restrictions before he leaves me and then have to wait a few months till I'm with him again. And girlies, he is a hottie. I've never felt this way about anyone before. He's one of those types of people that just make you laugh your ass off and want to hug and kiss and tell him "God loves you" because of how much of an idiot he is. He's one of those popular guys you just kind of sit there and watch and kind of hope he pays attention to you and make fun of you because he can keep everyone elses attention on him. I've been blessed with his love. Me, the dorky, donkey-laughing idiot, that refers to herself as "The Retard". I don't want to screw it up, you guys. I really don't.

I'm commited and I think he is, too. So everyone hope it works out with this one and I stay with him, because he makes me so unbelievably happy. Cross your fingers please. I sound SO corny....

My birthday is next month. Yeah, baby! Sixteen! I'll be getting a job on the weekends soon and won't have time much between going to work, getting school done and being with my Idiot.

I'm going to really try this year and do good in school. I really messed up this past year and this year it starts really counting for college and I need to do good since my parents don't want to pay more than a thousand or so for college, and I want to go to 10+ grand a year schools. I hope a few understand my situation.

This past year I've been really sick. I got everything from viruses, to strep throat, to sinus infections, and colds, flu, ulcers, everything. I need to take care of myself.

I just got a nephew and I'm going to have another niece/nephew in a few months. i plan on being a good aunt, just like the ones I've been blessed with. And I know its gonna be hard so...

So, all in all, I'm sorry for being such a lazy, sell-out. I know maybe one or two of you had really high hopes for me. I used to. I think I still do deep down in my heart somewhere. But I don't think I'm going to have time to really look in there and make sure.

This isn't a goodbye, because I'll be checking in now and then. I'm going to get Chemicals of Fate done, believe me. Even if it takes me all through high school and part of college I'll get it done. Don't worry. Maybe a chapter or two a year. lol. Don't give up too much hope on me. I still have dreams to do what no other Smore writer has done and kick some booty.

My plan though, is since I won't be able to write much anymore, if any of you have entries. I'll host them on my site. I have a lot of room so you all send me some shorts and long stories if you want me to post them up here, capiche?

I guess this is my temporary adios. Everyone is still free to roam around the site and check out some links, look at old sotries and tell your friends about my SITE (I know you want to!). Send me some e-mails too, it'll keep my inbox nice and health, don't let it starve to death now.

Y'all take care now, ya' hear???



Sunny
fiction_sunny@hotmail.com