Special Thanks To:

These are the people who without, this page would not be possible, and/or life would not be as fun and exciting as it is now

  • Jasper Newton Daniel- For the moral support during those rough times
  • Mary Jane Potman- For all of the fun and good times we've had, and for all of the inspiration you have provided us with
  • Ferdinand Capricorn Landbook IV- Because I love your name
  • Wallace Stankowitz- Your actions make even the worst of us look good
  • Drew Peacock- Even when you're down, you can always get back up
  • Wendy Whoppers- The chest says it all
  • All of you virgins- ...Wait a minute....THANKS FOR NOTHING!!!
  • Jimi Hendrix- Your great music blows my mind, even when I'm not high...on life
  • Haadifk Kumaaroni- For teaching me the art of kama sutra
  • George Costanza- For also teaching me the timeless art of seduction, and why to never mix food with sex
  • That raving lunatic on the corner- For teaching me that Al Gore is really a communist spy
  • Monica Lewinski- For bringing the much needed attention to oral sex
  • A-Train- For being so gullible, and for the free fries that I've managed to steal from you when I told you to "look over there"
  • Jeremy Glenz- For being a poster child for birth control
  • Comrade Peters- For providing me with inspiration and new ideas about how to f*ck with people
  • Dr. Seuss- Your zamblamic zygomorphic flamzstaff makes us all nucleoplasmic
  • Shadow Queen- For being such a cool and great person, and for all the great time we've spent talking together
  • Zach Hines- For being the raving alcoholic that you are
  • Mr. Anderson- HAHAHA!! You think you're a ladies man!!! HAHAHAHAHA
  • Mr. Smith- For your definitive, proactive development of concise and extraordinary definitions of common and obscure words


    And last, but certainly not least, the traitorous, draft-dodging, opponent-murdering BILL CLINTON!!!
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