Funny Things That Have Happened in my Life

I'll always update this section as more interesting and funny things happen in my life

At school, I was demonstrating to my friends how I can rip a phone book in half, but we didn't have one at the time, so I used our old Illinois Constitution handbook. While I was ripping it, a lunchlady came along to wipe off our table. She immediately started freaking out and wondering why we were ripping this book apart. She told us that we were a bunch of horse's asses, and that was really funny coming from a lunchlady. I think they need to lay off the week old tuna and take some more Vallium.

A construction worker almost kicked my ass because I stuck my toe in some wet cement. They had just poured a curb, and I couldn't tell if the cement was hard. I barely touched it and only left a really tiny dent, but one of the workers saw me from all the way across the street and started yelling at me. We were walking away, and he told me to come back and fix it myself. You couldn't even tell that I did anything, but the guy was still wigging out. He started walking over to where I was, but some of the other workers were just laughing and held him back. I think those guys need to lay off the steroids and take some more Ritalin.
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