Here's a bunch of good quotes and advice. Some are created by us, some aren't. All of the advice we personally give does not come from any experiences we may have created or encountered...at least that we'll admit to....today....in public...to the best of our recollections....at least until the pictures are developed.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Don't sweat petty things....or pet sweaty things.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower.

Beer before liquor, you'll never be sicker. Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

The harder you try, the dumber you look.

What's on a drunk man's tongue is on a sober man's mind.

True, Cunnilingus means dick for your head, but Fellatio means head for your dick.

Ladies-a barren desert (a.k.a. a less than fuzzy peach) ensures hours of oral pleasure from your man.

If you're still standing, it means you haven't had enough

Women are evil. Women are evil. Women are evil.

Women are evil, but are an occasional necessity.

Go camping and get really, really wasted with a bunch of friends. Trust me, it kicks ass.

Beer is proof that god exists and wants us to be happy.

God created marijuana, and man created beer. Who do you trust more?

Marge, I don't think anything I ever did was wrong.
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