TALES OF INSANITY
AND FUCKED-UP JOURNEYS
Man, nothing beats smoking some good fucking bud and then having a cigarette afterwards. I highly suggest you try it sometime if you haven’t before. But now, I have to say some words before you continue reading this saga. I am going to describe several events and situations, all of which I have experienced myself. Beware that many are immoral, if not completely illegal. Don’t think that I’m suggesting or condoning any of the actions or behaviors you will read about. You don’t have to listen to me: I’m definitely no god and not a good role model, so I have no right to tell you what to do. But I don’t regret anything I have ever done. I have hurt many people. I have hurt myself. But we are all still alive and stronger now. I would go back and do it all over again if I could. And please keep this in mind while reading-“Only god can judge me.”
Even though this isn’t a real book, or even very good, I would like to dedicate this to Jennifer. I love more than you know, and I wouldn’t be alive right now if it weren’t for you. Whether or not my life is worth saving remains debatable, but thank you anyways.
“Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?”
-Hunter Thompson
“I don’t care.
I will never care.
And I cannot care.
-Amen”
-Robert “Ben” Allums
Note: Some names and events have been changed to protect the innocent….and in some cases, the guilty.
My day started out just as any other school day. I got up at 6:39 sharp, got dressed, waited until my mom left the house so I could get ready in the bathroom, grabbed a big fattie joint and got in my car to pick up my girlfriend, Jade. I drove to her house to pick her up, and we fired up the doobie on the way to pick up one of our other friends, Drew. After we picked him up and started on to school, we finished smoking it down to a roach that we would save for later. We then promptly lit up our cigarettes and drove around to kill some time before school started. We circled the area a few times, smoking more cigarettes, and overall dreading having to go to school. Normally, I don’t have a problem going to school, but I really didn’t want to go that day. Feeling defeated, I started to get into the school parking lot when Jade turned and asked to me “Do you want to go to Disney World?” Disney World was really our private code for Boston, Massachusetts. We had half-talked about running away to Boston before, but this time it was completely serious. I understood the seriousness of the situation. We would be giving up our homes, our families, our friends, and nearly all of our worldly goods-Most likely to never return to them again. I agreed.
Jade asked Drew if he wanted to come along, but he didn’t have the desire or the courage to actually do it. We drove into the parking lot of the school and dropped Drew off. Jade gave him one last hug and we drove off to my house to pick up some things that we would need. We started by rolling 3 “Chi Town Fatties”-joints that are about ½” thick. After this I grabbed some clothes, my guitar, a blanket, and my amplifier and put them in my trunk. Jade went online and e-mailed one of her old Boston friends to tell him that we were coming. After sending her message, I erased the hard drive on my computer just to remove any trace of where I might be, any phone numbers, or any of the passwords for my e-mail accounts.
After finishing up everything else there was to do at home before we left, we started out to my car again. I stopped at the door and ran downstairs in my room to grab a poem out of one of my books. It is totally true of my life-
“I made a big decision, a little while ago
I don’t remember what it was, which prob’ly goes to show-
That many times a simple choice can prove to be essential,
Even though quite often, it may appear inconsequential.
I must have been distracted, when I left my home, because
Left or right I’m sure I went (I wonder which it was!)
Anyways I never veered-I walked in that direction
Utterly absorbed, it seemed in quiet introspection.
And for no good reason I can think of,
I’ve wandered far astray-
And that is how I got to where I find myself today”
-Bill Watterson
After leaving my house, I drove to my dad’s place to pick up a knife and some loose change. That knife became my best friend on the streets. It was a SWAT issue, black tactical folding knife that opened up by flicking it out. It was pretty big and very intimidating. We named it “Rambo.”
After we left my dad’s house, we drove into another town near us to get Jade’s cousin to buy us some cigarettes. He worked at a Piggly Wiggly, so we did some shopping while we were waiting for him to take a break. We bought some food and other important stuff we would need later on. After he came back with several packs, we left to go to the mall to buy some final things.
I had my credit card with me, so we went on a shopping spree. We first bought some more clothes in a department store, then walked into the rest of the mall. I bought a black leather duster and got Jade a leather coat. We bought some more clothes and other things, but then the credit card wasn’t being accepted at any more stores. The security department at the credit card company had frozen the account after seeing so many expensive purchases being made in such a short time.
So with the card being useless, we left the mall to try to pawn my amplifier. The first place we went to wouldn’t buy it because I needed to be 18 to pawn anything. So we drove back into my old town and went to a music store where I used to take guitar lessons. The owner gave me $150 for it. We also went to the bank to get all of our changed cashed. When we finally hit the road for good, we had just about $200 and some marijuana to sell later.
The drive to Boston lasted around 17 hours. I drove straight through, stopping only for gas and bathroom breaks. I took some No-Doze at about 1:00am, but that would turn out to be unnecessary because I ended up going three days without any sleep. We smoked one of our joints as soon as we got on the highway and were finally on our way to Boston, one after 500 miles of driving, and one when we finally made it to Boston. During the drive after smoking one of our joints, Jade and I performed one of our rituals. We each kissed the rubber lizard on my dashboard and then kissed each other while I was still driving at about 80 mph on a dark road. While recently reflecting upon this event, I came to the realization that this was a metaphor for my life- I live fast while completely high and making out with the girl next to me with a complete disregard for and total apathy towards whatever lies in the darkness ahead. The entire trip ended up costing about $80 for gas and tolls.
We arrived in Boston at about 9:00am and immediately headed to one of the local homeless shelters after asking for directions. Jade had stayed there the last time she ran away, so we went there to meet up with her old friends. We chilled for a few minutes and talked to some of the people there, and then went out to my car to smoke some weed with them. We passed around our fattie and then smoked some old roaches when we were done. One of the guys liked the pot we were smoking, so I traded one of my bags for some hash that he had. A girl came in the car when we were almost done smoking, so I kept on toking with her. I’ve never passed a hit and I’ve never been outsmoked in my life, so I kept on going. When we were done, I was completely ripped.
Afterwards, we all snuck into a movie by going in through a side door and taking an elevator to the theater. Another lady got in with us, and it turned out that she worked for the theater and knew that we were sneaking in. She said something about it, but she didn’t seem to really care. When we got in, I was feeling overly stoned and really sick, so I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t for some reason. I was really hot and uncomfortable and just zoned out during the entire movie. When it was over, we started walking out the door and Jo-Jo and Anthony, two of the guys that were with us, tried to mess with us by yelling “HEY! GET BACK HERE YOU KIDS!” We all freaked out and started running, but then I realized that it was only them so I stopped when I got out the door. They thought it was funny as hell.
Later on, Jade and I ran into someone she knew, so we went to her apartment and I dyed my hair black. When we were there, another guy they knew came over and started doing nitrous-oxide whippets with us. He was a pretty sketchy dude, and nobody there seemed to like him. After he left to go to work, we took off to go pick up my car. But when we got to where it was parked, we were in for a big surprise. It had been towed along with all of our possessions.
At this point, I was beginning having doubts about what I was doing. But I had already gone too far, and I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to go back anyway. Plus, I live by the motto-“It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything.” The car would have just ended up being a burden because I would have had to constantly steal new sets of license plates, and I would have had to worry about where to park it and how to pay for gas. It was almost a good thing that it was gone.
It was about 9:00 on a Friday night , so we headed over to “The Pitt”. The Pitt, also known as Harvard Square, was the area right outside of a subway stop where all the misfits of Boston hang out. Every type of person you can imagine was there. There were punks, homeless people, runaways, undercover cops, and other people that have nothing better to do. Nearly everyone there was high, drunk, dealing drugs, or looking for something to buy. But most of the drug dealers there sell fake pills and will try to rip you off or screw you in any way possible. I really needed to get fucked up, so I bought a sugar cube with two hits of some good liquid lsd. on it. That was somewhat of a mistake, because it was really strong and I went on a major mind-trip for the entire night. I get pretty emotional when I take acid, so I was wandering around really confused and not knowing what I was doing.
Jade started talking to a girl named Mary Jane while I just walked around and talked to people. I met up with a scary black guy, George. George ended up being my protector while I was in Boston. If anybody tried to mess with me, he would watch my back and take care of them. I found out that he had just gotten out of jail for killing someone, and was now wanted because he ended up stabbing and killing another person with a screwdriver. He was trying to sell some fake ecstasy, which was really just some type of painkiller. He gave me the pills to hold on to and told me that he would split any money he made with me. Later on, Jade came over to me and asked if it would be ok if she went and stayed at Mary Jane’s boyfriend’s apartment for the night. I told her it would be fine and then pulled Mary Jane aside so I could talk to her. I told her that I didn’t want her whoring out Jade and gave her some money. Mary Jane then told me not to trust George and to get rid of the pills I was holding because she was feeling some “bad energy” around. Jade started to go, but she was still wearing my jacket that I had given her to wear. So I was standing around in a Boston snowstorm wearing only a sweatshirt and freezing my balls off. Before she left, she asked one of the guys holding a sprite bottle filled with some liquor if I could have a sip to warm me up. I took a huge swig that surprised everyone, including myself.
After they left, I was really out of it and really paranoid from what Mary Jane told me, so when I sold some hash to a guy in a bathroom, I dropped the pills and left them on the floor. Later on, George told me that he had a deal set up and asked for the pills, which I no longer had. The next couple of minutes were a complete blur. I told George that I didn’t know where the pills were and I wasn’t thinking clear enough to give him any explanation. Later on, the guys that George was going to sell the pills to came over to me and asked for them. I was really confused and told them that I didn’t have them and that I didn’t know what was going on with the deal. They looked at my dilated pupils, laughed, and asked if I had any idea what was going on at all. I said I didn’t. George walked over to me and told me that I was going to have to steal some more pills for him at a drug store that was around the corner. I was tripping balls and had no idea what I was doing, so I went along with him, but fortunately, the store was closed so I wouldn’t have to actually steal anything. We started walking back and some people on the sidewalk bumped into George. George didn’t put up with anything and tried to start a fight with the girl that hit him. He was yelling at them and threatening to kick all of their asses.
We ended up going back to the pit and hanging out until the last subway came so we could go to South Station to spend the night. South Station was a huge building that was a combination subway and bus station where the homeless go to sleep and get out of the cold. The drug dealers, whores, and pimps also hung out there, so there was always something going on and someone to talk to. Every night around 12-2:00, the Bridge Van, a van for one of the homeless shelters would come and bring food, hot chocolate, and blankets for all of the homeless. A group of us runaways camped out on the lower level near the payphones. Just after one of the busses came in, a lady came down the escalator and saw us all hanging out there. She started yelling at all of us for no reason, and was saying stuff like, “Why are you people here? You don’t have enough money to live in Boston. Can’t you see that god is punishing you? Go back to where you’re from.” We all got pissed off from this shit she was talking because we were just sitting there, minding our own business and not messing with anybody. One of the black guys that was with us said, “I am from here, bitch.” And she replied by saying, “No you’re not. Look at your skin. You’re from Africa.” We all got even more pissed off with this and started getting up to argue with her. She started walking away, still yelling things, so George threw an orange at her and hit her really hard in the back. At this time, security came and escorted her out of the building.
After things calmed down, we settled in to try to sleep. I was still slightly tripping, so I layed down on the blanket I had just gotten and watched my jeans as they moved and bubbled. A pretty good looking ho went to one of the phones and called her pimp. We all listened in as she talked about how another pimp was shot in Chinatown, which was only about a block away. Somebody was either shot or stabbed there at least once a week. She was all nervous about getting arrested, so she talked for a long time while another ho came over by us and we all talked for about an hour. I don’t remember what we were talking about.
After the hos left, my boy Jeff gave me the weed I had just sold him and asked me to roll out two joints. So I went into the bathroom and tried to roll them out on my lap. I was having a hard time because I had nothing the break up the weed on and my hands were really shaky for some reason. I was in the middle of rolling the second joint when the janitors came in to clean up the bathroom. They started knocking on the stall door and calling my name. I have no idea how they knew who I was. So I hurried up and finished rolling two really bad joints and headed back downstairs to give them to Jeff.
I gave him the joints and he gave me one back and told everyone to go out and smoke it together while he tried to sleep. So we walked out and found an alley that was dark enough to blaze in. We passed it around for a while, but when it was almost done, a car rolled on through the alley. I had thought that the alley was only a one way, but the car came from the wrong side, and I could see a bar on top of the roof. I was about to shit my pants because it looked like a cop and the driver obviously saw us smoking. But when it passed by, I saw that it was only a taxi. All of the taxis in Boston have advertisements on boards that go across the top of the car and look exactly like police lights.
When we were all finished, we walked back to south station to try to get some sleep. I just layed down, closed my eyes, and tried to sleep but was still unable to. Every morning at 5:00, the workers at South Stations would walk around, wake up everybody that was sleeping downstairs, and threaten to arrest them if they didn’t move. So we got up and moved to the chairs upstairs by the bus terminals to try to sleep a little bit more. At about 7:00, Jeff woke up and was surprised that he had a joint left in his pocket. We all planned to go out and smoke it right away when we completely woke up. Jeff turned over to the kid that was sitting in the chair next to him and asked him if he wanted to go out and blaze with us. We sat around for a little bit more, trying to wake up. At the payphones across from us, a lady was talking on the phone to somebody and seemed really pissed off. She hung up and left the jacket she was carrying at one of the phones. From a distance, Jeff thought that she looked good, so he called out to tell her that she left her jacket. She came over to us and we all started talking. Her name was Gretta, and she told me I could have the jacket because it belonged to the guy she had just broken up with. Jeff asked her if she wanted to go out and smoke with us, so we all left to go into an alley.
Gretta was really paranoid that we were going to rape and kill her, so she kept warning us not to try anything. Close up, she was really ugly, so she had nothing to worry about. We found a better alley than the one we were in last night, so we sparked up the doobie and started smoking. When we finished it up, we all had the munchies so Gretta offered to take us all out for breakfast. We walked over to the 24 hour diner that was around the corner and ordered breakfast. We all ate and then headed back to south station. I walked with John, the guy Jeff had invited to come smoke with us. After that day, we became street brothers and would be together almost 24-7. It was about time for me to go back to the Pitt to meet up with Jade, so John came with me as we took the subway. After Jade came back, she, Mary Jane, John, and I went back to south station to go spanging. Spanging is the street term for standing around and asking people for money. But instead of just asking people for spare change, we decided to hustle people. We would talk to people that walked by and tell them that we were from Maine and were trying to take a train back, but we needed $75 more so we could get another ticket. We explained that we had come to Boston to go to a party, but all of our money and our bags were stolen when we got there. We had three train tickets, but we needed money to get a fourth one so we could all get back. One person gave us $20, and we ended up making about $40 in two hours.
Jade and I went to catch the subway to go sit in front of a store that was good to spange at, while Mary Jane and John went somewhere else. While we were asking people for money, a man carrying a toolbox and a large sign walked passed us and refused to acknowledge us. Just as he was passing, Jade recognized him and we began to talk. His name was Lyle and he owned a window washing company. I would later find out that he was a recovering crack addict and was still seriously fucked up in the head. He once had sex with a dog when he was a teenager and didn’t mind telling everybody about it. He offered me a job washing and fixing windows for him and offered Jade a secretarial position. Before he left, Jade asked him if he knew where her friend Jim was staying. It turned out that they were staying in the same apartment, so we followed him back to say hello.
The apartment that he was staying in was shared by Jim, a woman named Linda, who had spineabiffida, CJ, who was a quadriplegic that was always naked in his bed that he never left, and Joe, who was a former police officer and fire fighter. Jim showed me how he was able to hang a guitar from his tongue ring and then his nipple rings. I don’t even want to think about what he could do with his alleged cock rings. We stayed around and talked for a bit, and then left to go back into town.
When we met back up with Mary Jane and John, she told us that we could all spend the night at her boyfriend’s house while he was out of town. We all walked there, and then called up one of her friends to buy some weed. While we were waiting, we smoked some leftover hash and resin that was still in her pipe. Her friend finally drove over and we bought a big 50 sack from him. Mary Jane rolled a joint that we smoked while I rolled a real Chi Town Fattie. She was amazed at the size of it, because her idea of a fattie was my idea of a pinner. So we all smoked the J and got really high. I was really buzzed from the hash before we even started smoking the joints, so I was completely ripped when we were done. Mary Jane had gotten overly stoned and started freaking out. She was afraid that her boyfriend was coming home early and would kill all of us if he caught us in his apartment. We all left to go catch the subway and go to south station, but first stopped at a theater that was playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show to see one of Jade’s friends, Scribbles. We met up with him, and then took off to get some food before we went to south station. I went into a supermarket and bought a subway sandwich and a bag of Doritos to help ease my munchies. We were running late and had to run to catch the last train so we wouldn’t be stuck sleeping outside in the cold. I ate everything on the subway ride, but then started feeling sick when I was done.
We finally made it to south station and tried to get some sleep. When we had to move upstairs after 5:00, I was feeling really sick. I sat in one of the chairs and passed out with my eyes open. Jade told me that my skin was extremely pale, and she was worried that I was going to die. When I got up, I knew that I was going to throw up. I went into the bathroom and started puking, but I didn’t feel too much better. Jade and John bought me some ice cream so my stomach would feel better, but I ended up puking twice more after that. When I was feeling good enough to stand, I told them that I would feel better if we went out and smoked a joint. So we walked into the Boston Commons and met up with Allie, one of the 15 year old runaways. We all smoked our joint on a bench in the middle of the park with dozens of people walking by. One of Allie’s friends came over and asked us if we wanted to buy some acid. John and I bought an orange 10 strip that turned out to be a creeper, but really strong. We tried to sell some of it, but I somehow ended up trading four hits for a bag of coke. I had no idea what was going on and I didn’t want any cocaine, but we traded anyways. I thought the guy was going to give me money, but just gave me a bag filled with white powder, instead. I was still sick and a little high from earlier, and I had a fever and was extremely out of it from the drugs and a lack of sleep, so I took it.
We walked back to South station to get out of the cold and relax for a while. While we were sitting by the bus terminals, an extremely drunk black guy came over and started talking to us. He pulled a bottle of Bob Barker deodorant that had the spray nozzle missing and told us that we couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. John took the bottle and pressed down on the tube, and a spray came out. The guy then took it back and told us that that wasn’t how it worked. He unscrewed the cap, cupped his hands, and poured a large amount in his palms. He then took that and splashed it on his face like it was water. He immediately started yelling and complaining that his eyes were burning. “AHHHH!! IT BURNS!!! AHHHHH! MY EYES!!!! IT HURTS LIKE HELL!!! DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!” Thick white tears were pouring out of his eyes, which were now extremely red. We were all laughing our asses off at his stupidity until he finally walked away.
Later that day when we went into the subway to go see Jim and Lyle, we ran into an extremely drunk Irish guy that Jade had met before. He reeked of alcohol, and he was just released from jail, where he was held for breaking someone’s kneecaps that day. He explained to us that the man “was a batterer,” so that was why he broke his knees with a baseball bat. John asked him why a bunch of his teeth were broken, so he bared them at us and said that they were from “a couple of homeless fights.” He also told us about this new wonderful invention called a photo album, where you can “put all of your pictures together.” We tried to tell him that photo albums have been around for a long time, but he insisted that they were new. He also showed us his pocket knife that the police gave back to him, even though “they should have known better.”
During the walk to the apartment, John and I both took a hit of acid and looked forward to a night of good tripping. When we got inside, Linda invited us to spend the night there. We gave Jim a hit of acid and Jade took ½ of a hit while I ate the other half. We went into CJ’s and smoked some pot with him. CJ was still a hippy and loved doing drugs, even though he couldn’t get out of his bed. It was a bit strange smoking up with a naked guy, but we all had fun. Everybody started feeling the acid and was tripping, but I wasn’t feeling much except for becoming really emotional. Jade, John, Jim, and I went into the bathroom so we could talk without disturbing anybody, and we took out the coke to give Jim a bump. He snorted some off of my knife, and then Jade decided she was going to try it, too. She was really nervous about it but was going to go ahead with it anyways. She put some on my knife and was about to take it when Lyle knocked on the bathroom door. We put everything away and went out into the living room to try to sleep.
Jim gave Jade a back massage as we all layed down, but ended up cracking her back. She started crying and said she was in a lot of pain. Then she started having a panic attack, which was probably caused in part by the acid, even though she had only had a tiny bit. Her and Jim went into the bathroom where they could talk and try to get her calmed down. At that point, I didn’t really care if she was alone with the guy that she had a threesome with months before. But then again, I don’t really care about anything, so this wouldn’t be any exception. They came out later and then we all got some sleep. The next day, John and I went out with Lyle to start our jobs cleaning windows. So we worked all day and then got paid a little bit of money when we got back to the apartment. Jade was having extreme back pain, so I asked Linda if it would be ok if she spent the night again. She agreed, so John and I left her there and headed back to South Station. When we were sitting around talking to some of the other runaways, we bought some acid from one of the girls. I took three hits while John took two. We waited a long time, expecting to get some good visuals, but the acid turned out to be fake. It was just a sheet of paper that had been dipped in the stuff that is inside of glow sticks. We weren’t mad because the girl didn’t know it was fake and started crying and apologizing to us. It wasn’t that big of a deal to me, and it wasn’t the first time I bought bad drugs.
We found Jeff and then decided that we were going to go through Chinatown to find a store that was open so we could buy some cigarettes. Jeff was tripping pretty hard from some acid that he had taken earlier, so he was looking at all of the neon lights and buildings like he had never seen them before. We didn’t really know where we were going, so we just kind of aimlessly walked around in a really dangerous part of Boston. Some guy came up to us and asked us if we knew where any weed was. He pulled out a stack of bills, and had to have had at least $200. Jeff seriously considered robbing him, but told him to talk to Diamond, one of our friends that would be at South Station. If he ended up flashing his money around Diamond, he would definitely get robbed and probably beaten. So we walked away, but then Jeff decided that he wanted to go back and rob the guy. We looked around for a bit but couldn’t find him. For some reason, John called Jeff an asshole. Jeff was a pretty violent guy that was always involved in robberies, and he was tripping at the time, so he got pissed off and started threatening John. Everybody calmed down pretty quick and nobody got hurt or killed, which wouldn’t have surprised me.
We weren’t able to find any stores that were open, so we started walking back to south station so we could catch the Bridge van and get some food. On the way, we somehow managed to get a few cigarettes from people that we passed. When we got near the front of the building, we saw the van starting to pull away. We started running so we could try to catch it because we needed blankets for the night and we were pretty hungry. The van turned the corner and we realized that we would not be able to catch up, so we started walking back. The van ended up seeing us, so they circled around the block and came back. The guys in the van started laughing when they saw us. “Hey Bill! Come check out these cigarette-ass puffing motherfuckers! Can’t even breath and still puffing on them cigarettes! Can’t even afford food but got enough money to buy cigarettes! Come look at this!” They thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen.
The next night, John and I took the subway into a town that he used to live in. We walked around and talked about everything that was going on. He asked me why I wasn’t mad at Jade for being alone with Jim all of the time. I told him that I cared about her, but that I don’t control anyone or anything, so I let people do whatever they want and just let everything slide. We decided that we were going to go into a huge graveyard that was in the area, and maybe spend the night in there. We walked through the front gates, which were still open even though it was supposed to be closed at dark. The cemetery was a lot bigger than I had imagined, so we walked around for a bit and then decided to stop and have a cigarette. I suggested that we got off of the road we were on and go sit up on one of the hills in case anybody else came in. We sat on a rock that was near a tight circle of trees. While we were up there, I noticed some headlights coming into the cemetery. We dropped our cigarettes and ran to hide behind a large tree that was next to us. When the car came by, I almost shit my pants because it was a cop. As it passed by where we were crouching, we circled the tree so we wouldn’t be seen. As soon as it was safe to move, we ran and dove into the circle trees. The cop was circling around the area, and we noticed another cop driving into the cemetery. They somehow knew that we were in there, because someone must have seen us go in. They continued to drive around for a long time, trying to find us. After what seemed like forever, they finally left. We still hid for a bit longer to make absolutely sure that it was safe to come out. We got up and ran from hiding spot to hiding spot, trying to stay in the shadows. We made it to one of the walls and jumped off it. We were outside and had not gotten caught. We decided not to spend the night there.
The next day when after we were done working, John and I stopped in one of the convenience stores near the apartment to get some cigarettes. The guy working there, Rose, knew me from some of the other times I had been in there. Rose was a fat, gay, pot-smoking transvestite, but was a really nice guy (girl?). He would give us free candy, cigarettes, pot, and buy us food. We talked for a bit, and he asked us if we smoked weed. We told him that we did, and he invited us to come over and smoke sometime. We said we were free that night and felt like getting high, so we went over after he got off work. We all took dozens of bong hits and smoked a joint I rolled. When we were done, I was completely blasted. The weed was pretty good quality, and I had been taking and holding my usual massive hits.
We went back to the apartment, where John passed out. Jade was still having really bad back pains, so John and I took her to the free hospital to get her checked out. We had to wait a long time for the doctor to see her, so we waited in the waiting room and played with a wheelchair that was in there. When it was finally her turn to get checked out, Jim and I went into the room with here. The doctor went out of the room for a minute, so he started playing with this light machine thing that was on the wall, and I put on a pair of blue rubber gloves that I had found. The doctor came back into the room and yelled at Jim to stop playing with the machine. He then saw that I had taken some gloves, so he got really pissed off and kicked us out of the room. So we waited for him to finish, and then decided that we would call a cab to take us back. When we told the driver where we were going, he refused to take us there because the roads were slippery from the snow. He took off, and we ended up somehow getting a ride with a cop. It was pretty funny because Jade and I were both technically wanted, and Jim had a bag of cocaine in his pocket, but the cop took us to where we needed to go and dropped us off.
The next day after John and I got back from work, Jade asked me if we could go talk out in the hall. I knew exactly what she was going to say before we even got out there. We sat down and she asked if we could hold hands, because what she was going to do was hard for her. She told me that we would probably be better if we broke up, because we were so alike and were more like “soul mates,” then boyfriend and girlfriend, but she still wanted us to stay friends. Once again, I didn’t really care or mind at all. We went back into the apartment, where Jim and Lyle were getting into a fight in the kitchen. Somebody was always yelling and fighting in that apartment. Jim left the room and grabbed his broken guitar neck so he could hit Lyle with it. Jade held him back and tried to calm him down. I told him to relax, and that I could get him some weed to mellow him out. I had the weed on me, but I went outside with John so he would think we were buying some and hadn’t been holding out all this time. We came back and went into CJ’s room, where we all smoked some dank orange-hair that Diamond had sold us.
John and I left to go back to South Station. When we were sitting upstairs, we watched a lady get dragged off by the police. She was screaming and fighting, and the cops maced her several times in the face. She tried holding on to one of the railings, but they continued spraying her with mace and eventually tore her off and took her in. We walked around for a bit after that and went downstairs. Gretta came up to me, crying, and asked if I would go for a walk with her. We went out, and she told me how George was mad at her and everyone thought she had ripped someone off in a drug deal. We walked for a bit and she asked if I could make her a pipe out of a pop can so we could smoke some crack. I told her I wouldn’t smoke any, but I made a pipe for her. We went onto the front steps of a building, and she practically begged me to smoke some because it would be better than anything I had ever had. I still told her no, so she took a few hits while I held my jacket around her so the wind wouldn’t blow out the lighter. When she was done, we went back to south station.
While I was gone, George threatened to kill Simon, another guy who hung out at south station. Simon was a little bitch con artist that pretended he went to Harvard and always tried to rip off and fuck over us street kids. So Simon had dissed George by acting like he was better than him, and George was tripping and particularly violent at that time, so he told him to go hide or he would get killed. John tried to help Simon out because he didn’t want anyone dying, but George just said, “I don’t give a fuck who he is. I’ll kill him. I’ve killed somebody before.” When I got back, Simon was sitting in one of the windows, hugging himself and crying. I felt bad for him right then, but he would end up ripping off both John and I later on, so that feeling didn’t last long.
This is the end of Part I of my story. There is a lot more after this, and I don’t know if I have the motivation to finish, and the more I write, the more I realize that I’m not very good at it. So let me know if you want to hear the rest of what happened to me on my journey. Let’s just say that it includes a bunch more drugs, whores, a trip to Ohio, police, and a ton of other things. You can e-mail me at smokin_jay13@yahoo.com or sign the guestbook on my site to let me know if you think I should finish. Peace out. -Brian