Copyright 1999, 2000 Terry Washington aka Phoenixx 1048 W Winona 3E Chicago IL 60640-3125 773-561-0737 HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.html phoenixx100@hotmail.com This file was last updated on Thursday, July 13th, 2000 at 3:03am. [continued from the file TER2.TXT] --- fluffle.log The littlest of them all Mon Sep 20 1999 There is a weensie kitty that I know. A very fluffy kitty. So fluffy, in fact, that the kitty is known (in certain circles) as 'the fluffle,' which is the perfect description of the kind of soft, fuzzly fur that it is entirely covered with. This fluffle is mine. It is the very bestest kitty in the whole wide world. Certainly, it is the very fluffiest. My fluffle is very small. So small, in fact, that it is known to be the very tiniest fluffle of them all. The most littlest kitty-cat in the whole wide world. The kitty has two little toothses. They aren't all that sharp, so don't worry. And, you must know, this fluffle (in spite of the fact that it is so very small) is also very fat. It is a real fatty. Oh yeah. Yes, yes. How can a kitty be so very-very small, and yet so really big and fat, all at once? Good question. A question that begs for an answer, if there ever was one. Over the past few days, I have finally gotten an idea of what all the fuss over 'Pokemon' is all about. I am no longer unaware of the charming little characters Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Wigglytuff, and so on. There are more than 150 creatures in the Pokemon pantheon, I am told. Even though there are now 64-bit (3-D, full-rotation) games based on the Pokemon characters, I was kind of happy to learn that the entire craze spun off of a simple Game Boy cartridge; I went through a mild obsession with the Game Boy platform that lasted for about two years. I always thought that it was a great machine, because of the ability to transmit digital stereo sound (through headphones), and the low power consumption of the (original, monochrome LCD) unit. With a good set of 4 alkaline AA batteries (and the volume set low), it seemed like you could play that thing for days on end. Sometimes I get the feeling that there is an even greater vastness to the universe - beyond even the already unimaginable largeness of it all. Every now and then I feel as though I am sort of ensconced in a sort of holographic illusion, where the seemingly endless dimensionality extending outward is really only some sort of ruse, and that one might actually bounce off of invisible barriers, if we were able to really try and, say, exit this particular solar system. You know, the Lord tells us (in the book of Revelation) that the stars will disappear from the heavens, sometime during the final apocalyptic events. This seems to be a good example of one of the many things in the Bible that are very difficult for many 'modern' people to fully accept. Perhaps yon 'vanished' stars will simply be thoroughly obscured by some kind of dense, toxic cloud of warfare chemicals. Or maybe, they will truly vanish, or fall from the heavens, somehow. I'll bet that would scare a lot of people. Heh. I have had to come to grips with the endlessly disturbing fact that, apparently, far more people are going to the fiery furnace, than are being saved. Learning this has been very difficult for me. At times, there is a heavy scent of human dung floating through the air. Woe is thee. What can I say, to improve the situation? Nothing at all, really. The people know what they want. They know that the fiendishly base things that they are doing are all the way wrong. They are becoming what they are meditating upon, what they are subscribers to. Black, shiny dung beetles. Rolling the ol' ball of ancient shit uphill - starwards. Don't ask them why. There are these really great pieces of artwork, that were produced by one of the members of the band Voivod; when I saw them over at [NAME DELETED]'s home a few days ago, I remarked that they reminded me a lot of the kind of internal struggles that I've been having over the past few years. Almost as if the exact set of symbols in my mind had been spilled out onto paper. I'd like to talk with that character - I am certain that he would understand much of what I have been experiencing lately. I feel very strongly that the Lord is with me, even though I am sure that I don't really deserve His support very much. In some ways, I feel very unworthy of God's help. I have learned a lot about how incredibly suggestible the American people are. These people are ready to believe just about anything that the media, and the money-mongers in general, want to serve up to them. The tactics that they are using seem to be a kind of loose combination of the old ancestor worship traditions, variants of which are extant in many cultures throughout the world, and various Communist and Socialist-type methods of coercion, like scapegoating. You know, you can inform these dolts that the world government, or the media, or the private sector, or whoever, is trying to fashion a completely artificial 'enemy' for the people to hate, and it doesn't seem to make much of a difference, because just about everyone seems to have no qualms whatsoever about playing the deadly 'game' that the Satanists have rigged up over the years. God tells us that everyone, that's e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e that willingly accepts the Mark of the Beast is going to be destroyed along with Satan and his angels in the Lake of Fire. If there were any real Christians in this nation, I believe that they would have contacted me by now, because it is more than obvious to me that I have struck on something very, very important. If they don't realize by now that they are playing around with the very serious concept of eternal damnation by perpetrating and perpetuating those vile 'traditions,' they are about the very stupidest people that I could ever imagine to exist on the face of this planet. --- iceblink.log Will you? Tue Sep 21 1999 Sometimes I feel very guilty about the fact that I constantly focus so intently on myself, and my personal opinions - often to the extreme exclusion of other people, and their opinions, which, I suppose I should take into account to some degree. It's just that I feel very, very strongly that I am right in many respects, about a great many things. I am not ashamed to say this, either. This might sound outrageous to some folks, of course; that is only because I have yet to really put forth more clearly certain of my views. One thing that I am worried about, is the possibility of becoming inundated by my own sense of self-righteousness. To start with, I should explain that a great part of the reason why I feel so good in general about the future, is the fact that the Lord has already brought me there. Really. I can't lie, and say that I can recall details that have been cleared from my mind; but I know for sure that it really is true that everything will work out extremely well for those of us that truly love God. Also, another thing that makes me feel very pleased, is that I believe that I have truly figured out some of the most basic spiritual problems that have been extant upon the earth, from way back when - all the way back to the trees (the Garden of Eden), in fact. In the New Testament, we are told that the Lord is going to eventually wipe away all tears, and that there will be no more suffering - and no more 'curse.' Comprehending the exact truth of just what is meant by that 'curse,' is really what is required for the most accurate understanding of the fundamental misery of the human condition, as it is in this error-ridden age. Really, as best as I can discern it, there are several different classes and sub-classes of curses that need to be taken into consideration. Eventually, I will take the time to carefully write down exactly what I believe they are. I really shouldn't have to bother, because they are all detailed in the Bible. Every one of those horrible curses has come upon mankind, because of unwillingness to serve and obey the Lord correctly. Humanity, in general, is staunchly resistant to following the advice of God. There always seems to be a societal desire to compromise, and bend standard moral and ethical codes to some degree, in favor of a more selfish and carnal way of doing things. I might as well write a few lines to help clarify what I am getting at. Of course, the best place to begin, in attempting to really grok the palette of curses that humanity is beset with, is at the beginning. Genesis explains that sin entered this world when Adam and Eve disobeyed the Lord's warning about eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. This might sound like a simple little fable to many people nowadays, but I believe that it is very much so on the money. To simplify, I believe that the serpent (Satan) was able to spiritually enter into Adam and Eve, because of their disobedience. Many of us know well what can happen when humans become controlled by evil spirits. There is the reference to Adam and Eve being unashamed of their nakedness, prior to their experience with the consequences of disobedience. Allegedly, certain translations of the Hebrew text of Genesis indicate that some kind of sexual activity may have taken place between Eve and the 'serpent,' after she was deceived; in other words, the whole episode may really be a tale of Satanic seduction. This appears to be borne out by what the Lord says to Eve and the serpent subsequently - the pronouncement of curses upon both of them, and the peculiar reference to the placing of enmity between the seed of Eve, and the seed of the serpent. The Lord says that the serpent's progeny would 'bruise the heel' of Eve's posterity, and that Eve's children would 'bruise the head' of the serpent's children. What does all of this mean? Well, as I mentioned a paragraph or so back, I want to keep this simple for now, so I will just say that something about taking a closer look at the Garden story, indicates to me that there may be a very ancient dimension to some of the ethnic, cultural and racial conflicts that we have inherited up to the present day. I also feel very strongly that various occultic organizations have attempted to sort of constrain the ancient rivalries into the 'game' that is played by so many people throughout the world today. I will cut the crap. Basically, I believe that the people that 'lean back,' are the serpent's children, and the people that 'lean forward,' are Eve's children. There. Does that make sense to anyone? I hope so. --- akashic.log Cunningly disheveled Wed Sep 22 1999 I visited the Sulzer library this morning, and happily downloaded plain ASCII text files of a great many articles on Bjork. I finally fumbled my way onto a Web page that has dozens and dozens of them, without lots of fancy (and often very confusing) graphical front-end interfaces to confound things. Many times, you have to wait for more than a minute for a really graphics-intensive page to fully load, which can be aggravating. Most of the main Bjork sites are very colorful, and chock full of images, video clips, and on. It seems like all of the Bjork-o-philes (or Bjorkites, or Bjorkenese) have been trying to outdo each other with whammo-zammo websites, ever since the 'official' Bjork Internet site won a special award (it is pretty cool). I've seen other collections of Bjork interviews and articles on the Internet, but this area really appealed to me, because of the elegant, no-nonsense simplicity of its design: a main directory page, leading to (as I just mentioned) plain text articles (no HTML code, either!) that date as far back as 1993. Really, there should be a selection of interviews from even further back, but I guess the focus of the compiler is her solo career. I may have mentioned this in another file, but I remember the very first time that I became aware of her - it was while browsing through a music magazine at the Peaches music store on Western avenue (I was working there at that time), in 1986. I read a piece about her old band, the Sugarcubes, in what probably was an issue of Rolling Stone (it may have been Spin, or Musician, I can't remember for sure). She was talking about how becoming famous had made her more self-conscious, or something along those lines. I recall her making a funny statement about people seeing her scratch her rear end on a bus. The accompanying photo was really impressive, and I recall thinking how very pretty she was, and how she somewhat resembled a co-worker friend of mine, [NAME DELETED] (who wasn't there at the time). I kind of wondered what her band was like, so I moseyed on over to the 'S' section, and found the Sugarcubes album 'Life's Too Good'; I think that I disliked the gaudy cover art, feeling that the color scheme was kind of unappealing (loud chartreuse, and I think, pink; real icky). At a later date, I was able to spin the album, which I stopped listening to after a song or two, thinking that the music kind of sucked, and that Bjork sounded like a little 'squealer.' At that time, I was practicing with Carlos Santiago, in a speed metal band (Ujenyx), and I guess I was kind of caught up in that kind of musical mindframe. I knew that Carlos would have laughed at the Sugarcubes sound, so I kind of decided not to give the LP much of a chance. I really like the Sugarcubes now - even though I haven't any of their albums in my possession, most of the songs I've heard (after ear-ing them again much later, after I'd been de-metallized) are pretty good, and the musicianship is decent. Of course, I now love Bjork's raspy little voice - I think that some of those old songs are excellent showcases of her vocal talent. You know, I really think that Bjork is swell. There are very few things that I don't like about her. One thing I really don't care for, is her taste in literature: in several interviews, she gushes over one of the biggest pieces of literary garbage I have ever come across - the endlessly disgusting, desperately degenerate novel called 'The Story of the Eye.' She speaks of it quite glowingly, which I think is utterly pathetic. Honestly, my level of respect for her dropped a couple of parsecs, after I actually bothered to order that cloth-bound piece of shit from the library (I'd learned of her deep love for it, in one of her special promotional publications). It took weeks to arrive: I suppose it was in the hands of other people, who also wanted to find out what all the fuss was about. Yuk. Really sickening - don't even bother to look for it, unless you're, well, never mind. Another book that she highly recommends, is entitled 'Master and The Margarita,' or something close to that. I found a paperback copy of it in a used book store on Broadway, and after reading 'A Satanic Fantasy' on the back cover, placed it back on the shelf, and exited the shop. I just don't want to know. Even though I am very dismayed at her choice of reading materials, it really doesn't surprise me at all, because I know of the endless hunger of the masses for every variety of pure filth, darkness and confusion. All you have to do is flip on the television set, and you will quickly begin to understand this, if you aren't already hep. Yesterday evening (Tuesday), Bjork held some kind of live chat session over the Internet. Apparently, she does that from time to time. I learned that it was scheduled early that morning, and today, I went to the main Bjork site to try and get a transcript of it because it would be the freshest text available. But it wasn't posted, and I felt disappointed. But here is the neat part - when I had almost finished downloading the last of the dozens of interviews from the article index, the owner updated the links, and suddenly - a transcript of last night's chat appeared in the index listing! I gleefully downloaded it (or so I thought), and the last of the other articles to my floppy, and left. When I got home, I learned that I had actually filled an entire floppy disk with Bjork text articles! Remember, the entire Holy Bible (compressed) can fit on one floppy disk. That's a lot of information. The thought of actually reading all of that stuff makes me feel tired, but I feel great knowing that I actually have most of the articles. Unfortunately, I was unable to save the last dozen or so, which means that I actually don't have the new chat, and the rest of the items at the end of the index list. But I will return to get them tomorrow, or sometime soon. --- platypus.log Breakfast is served Thu Sep 23 1999 A few days ago, I watched a very entertaining little segment on a nature show, detailing some of the habits of a particular species of badger - North African, I think. The critter dug a great hole in the ground with its long, sharp claws, and then unearthed several very large (softball-sized), light brown spheres, which proved to be incubation chambers for the pupae of those huge black beetles that the Egyptians used to worship at one time (I think the beetle-god of Egypt was called Khepra). The spheres had been laboriously constructed from little specks of dung that the beetles had carefully gathered over a long period of time; I learned of this in my teens, from a book on Egyptian mythology, and even saw a show about it years ago. Anyhow, after each ball was brought up, the badger got busy, and pawed them open (which seemed to be almost as difficult as digging them up; I suppose they'd hardened considerably), revealing a wriggling mass of plump (and tasty, I'm sure) pupae. The narrator said that even though there weren't very many of the pupae in each of the balls, they were well worth the effort to dig them up, because they were extremely nutritious. The same (I assume) badger was also featured in action sequences showing him catching a fat water cricket, a vole, and doing other basic badger things. It was all highly interesting. A week or so ago, on another show, I saw footage of some live mudskippers for the first time. If it weren't for the animated character on Ren and Stimpy (Muddy Mudskipper), I wouldn't have even known what they were - real weird things, that are supposed to be fish, but actually have two little newt-like legs at the front of their long and narrow, eel-like bodies. Another charming feature that they possess are two extremely bulbous eyes, that can independently pop up and down. Just lovely. In the segment that I watched, two of them were actually at war (involving a lot of flipping and flopping around at each other, mostly), on a dismal expanse of mushy land. After one of them 'bested' the other, the loser slunk away, and dipped his head in a mud puddle. Pretty cool stuff to watch. Then, just yesterday, I saw a segment on an Animal Planet show that was all about platypuses (or platypi - I found both in the spell-checker). They, and a few other Australian creatures form a mammalian subgroup called monotremes. I've always been fascinated by them, and some of the other unusual animals in that area, because they are so unlike most other mammals found elsewhere in the world. Platypi lay eggs, and nurse their young. Once, when [NAME DELETED] and I were passing through the basement of the Loyola University (Rogers Park campus) library facility, I found an archaeological publication in their periodicals archive that had an article that described some three-eyed fossils that had been found in Antarctica. You know that I found that to be intriguing. Unfortunately, we were on our way elsewhere, and I neglected to write down the name of that particular scientific journal. The fact that most geologists agree that the Australian continent is one of the oldest, along with its odd collection of 'antique' mammals (marsupials, monotremes, et al), suggests to me that there may be reason to believe that there may have been some kind of important relationship between the continents of Australia and Antarctica in the far-flung past. Perhaps, long ago, there were even other continents, or archipelagos involving areas of the Indian and/or Pacific oceans. Some of us are familiar with the theories having to do with lemur populations (it has been suggested that a now-missing continent, theoretically situated somewhere in the Indian Ocean, was the original home of the lemurs, who then migrated eastward to Suutheast Asia, and westward to Madagascar); maybe unusual fossils from Antarctica might provide a lot of fascinating information for us. It is rather funny how little the place is spoken of, isn't it? Folks speculate about Mars, Venus and the Moon endlessly, but Antarctica (and more particularly, information about its fossil record), which is way more accessible, is almost never mentioned. I have even heard rumors that research scientists have found very profound evidence of ancient civilizations there - I'm sure I've mentioned this many times before. The ice covering most of that continent is two miles thick in some places, but that wouldn't be much of a problem for certain types of satellite technology to peer through. If there ever were ancient civilizations there, I certainly want to know all about them, don't you? Maybe we will learn something soon. --- enlightn.log Here is wisdom Fri Sep 24 1999 Ok. I figured that I might as well describe the basics of what it is that keeps me awake for hours at night. I have been so angry and frustrated over these issues, that I just need to go over the details once more. In Chapter 17 of the book of Revelation, there is a symbolic description of a woman, holding a golden cup 'full of the filthiness of her fornication,' dressed in purple and scarlet, and riding a scarlet-colored beast that is 'full of names of blasphemy, having seven heads and ten horns.' The woman has the words: 'Mystery, Babylon, Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth' inscribed upon her forehead. John the Revelator details further that the woman is 'drunken with the blood of the martyrs of Jesus.' He also says that when he saw her, he 'wondered with great admiration.' After this, John is given quite a bit more information about the meaning of the woman and the beast that she rides upon, by a holy angel that accompanies him. John is told by the angel that the scarlet beast 'was, and is not, and yet is,' which is extremely puzzling, but very interesting (this reminds me of the famous 'what it is, what it was, and what it shall be' comedic line - the exact origin of which, I do not know). We are also informed about a sequence of eight kings, the eighth and last king being somehow equivalent to the symbol of the scarlet beast. Ten horns upon the scarlet beast are described as cohorts, that 'receive power as kings one hour with the beast.' Also, the ten horns upon the scarlet beast (which I assume are analogous to a lesser group of kings) are said to 'have one mind, and shall give their power and strength unto the beast.' The exact meaning of all of this is very difficult to determine, but it is extremely important, because I am almost completely certain that we are very near, if not already in, the period of time for the fulfillment of those prophecies. This really seems to be the right time - it sure would explain the steadily increasing 'mind-melding' phenomena that I have noticed over the past decade or so. Chapter 13 of Revelation contains basic information about the famous 'Mark of the Beast' that I have mentioned so often within these files. What is described, is again, quite confusing, especially for people that aren't at all familiar with Biblical symbolism, but the gist of it, is that a particular character comes along (also described as a beast, rising up from the sea, with seven heads and ten horns), and opens his mouth in blasphemy against God, His tabernacle, and they that dwell in heaven. The person seems to be equivalent to the Antichrist; he is given power over all of the divisions of people upon the earth, and we are told that everyone whose name isn't written in the Lamb's Book of Life will worship him. Then, a second beast pops up from the earth, 'with two horns like a lamb,' who speaks 'like a dragon.' The second beast appears to be the False Prophet; he performs all kinds of wonders, culminating in a situation where the first beast receives a deadly wound, which is subsequently miraculously healed. After the first beast recovers, the second beast somehow causes the world to worship the first, which, remember, is equivalent to the one that the 'Mystery Babylon' woman rides upon later, in Chapter 17. The second beast causes all of the people that will not worship the first beast to be put to death by an 'image' of the first beast. Isn't all of this very interesting? I sure think so. I have been trying to make sense of all of these prophecies for most of my life. I could write on and on about various different theories that I have, but really, it seems to be easier than ever before to make sense of most of it. The False Prophet 'gives life to' the image that the damned worship. A fundamental consideration, is that at the time when these chapters were written, there was no way that the entire world could have seen the same image of anything, let alone synchronized worship around it. The Mark of the Beast is mentioned near the end of Chapter 13 - it is imposed upon the masses by the False Prophet. People that will not accept it are not allowed to participate in the economic system. Everyone that accepts that mark (this is explained elsewhere in the text of Revelation) will be sent along with Satan and his angels, to the Lake of Fire, to be tormented for all eternity. It is no joke. Do not accept the Mark of the Beast. The Mark of the Beast, I believe, must be somehow related to the 'Mystery Babylon' woman in Chapter 17, because of the reference to the markings on the forehead of the woman, and the golden cup in her hand - this seems to be paralleled by the Mark of the Beast being placed on the right hand and forehead of the damned people. The beast that the woman rides is also the same one that is killed, resurrected and worshipped. Do you understand what I am getting at? The symbols of the woman, and the golden cup that is full of the 'filthiness of her fornication' are closely related to the concept of the Mark of the Beast. The shenanigans of the ancestor worship, or 'mystery' cults are all about antichristianism. Do you now understand? Really? --- loaiasis.log Don't know the definition Sat Sep 25 1999 It's ridiculous. Absolutely ludicrous, when you really think about it. So many of these people complain endlessly about the rot in our culture, but nobody wants to point out what is obviously the source of much of the problem: those miserable 'traditions.' The Bible tells us that it is shameful to even speak of the things that are done in darkness by the Satanic 'traditionalists.' No nation, no matter how much intelligence and material wealth it possesses, is able to enjoy the true spiritual blessings of God, if it is bent low under the evils of child molestation, witchcraft, murder, rape, drugs, and immorality in general. There is just no way that people can practice any or all of those evils, and expect to enjoy the deep peace of mind that a truly healthy relationship with the Creator brings. They are kidding themselves; trying to 'have it both ways.' They want to practice low-down, back-room dirty deeds, and also sing and clap their hands in a church. Paganism and Christianity cannot be practiced at the same time. The religions of Voodoo, Witchcraft, Satanism, etcetera, have no place in the lives of real Christian people. We shouldn't even know too much about the deep things of Satan - the Lord tells us to be 'babes as to wickedness.' Most of the people that I see appear to know more than a little bit about the prevailing evils of the current age. I was listening to a radio gospel show a year or so ago, and I was very surprised when I heard a black woman graphically describe exactly how illogical and evil the act of sodomy is - she said that the people that practice it are basically pushing waste matter back up into the body, towards the brain. Dung is meant to be expelled from the human body, not reincorporated into it. The people that routinely engage in the act of sodomy are evil indeed. Also, concerning sodomy, there are demonic realities to consider, which the lady didn't mention. I feel very strongly that people that practice fornication, and other sexual evils (not just sodomy) are basically inviting demons to come and take up residence in their bodies. Demons are very eager to do that, you must know, for they haven't bodies of their own. They are a bit like the hermit crabs, that make their homes in the old shells of dead mollusks. Sodomy, and other sexual sins, may somehow expedite their control over human beings. Sin provides an open door for the devils to slip through. I think that a lot of 'precocious' children may really be victims of child physical and/or sexual abuse. Demonic possession often is the result of child abuse, and that may account for some of the mystery of various childhood 'gifts' and 'talents.' I am not saying that all intelligent children are victims of such evils; I just suspect that some are, because of unpleasant spiritual radiations that I have noticed emanating from them. I truly believe that there are families (especially in Hollywood) that are very dedicated to passing along familiar spirits (demons) from one generation to the next. Entertainers aren't the only people that are doing evil things to kids. People from all different walks of life appear to believe very strongly in some variation of those sinister customs. The gift of the Gibborim keeps on givin.' Ghastly. I am utterly opposed to those practices, and I have suffered greatly because of my position. It is really astounding and disturbing to realize that so many people believe so fervently in continuing child molestation, sodomy, etcetera. All of that garbage increases the level of demonic possession in our civilization. Also, those activities hasten the coming of the Day of the Lord, which, of course, is a good thing for those of us that love Him, but a very, very bad thing for the folks that hate Him, like homosexuals, murderers, child molesters, lawyers, used car salesmen, etcetera. At long last, they will learn that there really is a God, and that He has been keeping track of all of the sins practiced upon this planet. Nowadays, speaking against sodomy is frowned upon in many circles. You may even wind up becoming a social cipher, if your voice rises in protest against the legions of anal sex aficionados, and other practitioners of heavy error. One theory I have, concerning just what it is that impels so many folks to eagerly enter into sexual activities that involve the putrescent chamber of horrors known as the anus, is the possibility that demons may require some kind of psycho-spiritual debasement of the minds and bodies of their victims to occur, before they are able to successfully burrow in, and make their happy homes. Something about sodomy seems very base and inhuman; almost reptilian or insectoid. Fans of it seem to reflect this, I have noticed; their movements often seem jerky and strange, and many of them walk with a sort of stiff, sliding gait. Know what I mean? What sorts of animals have similar body language? Think about it. If you've got the time, go out on a sunny day and find a hot pile of doo-doo lying around in a field somewhere, and hunker down to observe it for a spell. You will see a lot of action. Fat black horseflies, with big, bulging eyes of iridescent metallic green, will soon arrive and land. Eggs will be carefully deposited, and perhaps a quick meal will be had. Days later, what used to be a motionless lump of manure, will have become a lively nursery for scads of wiggling li'l maggots. Busy, they will be, greedily devouring the drying dung. In time, they will become large sassy flies, just like their predecessors. They will repeat the cycle endlessly, through rain and shine. I don't see anything wrong with that. --- pikachu.log To be a Pokemon trainer is my destiny Sun Sep 26 1999 There is something very cool about the Pokemon cartoon show. Actually, there are many things about it that I like. After watching four or five episodes, I noticed a vague feeling of real excitement creeping up in my chest during the fighting sequences. The cartoon creatures (Pokemon, which is short for 'pocket monsters') have some pretty intense little throw-downs. There is nothing real spectacular about the way that the battles are rendered, animation-wise - actually, the art scheme of the show is much like that of Sailor Moon, with the exception that it is slightly more round, and cartoony. No, the likable thing about the concept of Pokemon, is a combination of childish spirituality, and sporting sensibilities. You see, the Pokemon game involves the training of the little characters that engage in battles against other Pokemon. The children that play the games get to catch and 'train' the little monsters (I do not know how they do it - I haven't yet been able to try out any Pokemon games, or even read any of the associated literature), and then field them against other critters. I am imagining that the kids get fairly excited or depressed about the victories or failures of their Pokemon, because of the investment of their energy in however the creatures are taught their fighting skills. This concept appeals to me. I am familiar with the wild-eyed energy that often accompanies the role-playing type games; this is what I detect in the Pokemon phenomenon. A big difference, is that almost all of the Pokemon critters look very childish and soft, almost harmless, whereas other role-playing games usually feature mostly harsh, coarse characters. Something about the cartoony niceness of the gaming scheme is very energizing. It has given me a whole lot of ideas over the past few days, and I haven't even played any of the games yet. Heh. I watched a Pikachu character (very cute; it resembles a large hamster with big ears, and a bushy tail) fight something that looked like a little moose, that was wearing a skull helmet, and carrying a bone club. The moose whacked the Pikachu several times with the club, almost knocking it out and defeating it. But Pikachu came back with a nifty attack: when it gets really angry, it generates a powerful electrical field that can be used as a special weapon. You had to see it. I am sure that the designers of the Pokemon game got some of their ideas from the original Final Fantasy Game Boy games; they featured a lot of battles, with weird collections of characters, most of which weren't too cuddly-looking. Another thing, is that on the cartoon show, they often engage in real 'shop talk' about Pokemon training. I can actually feel the interest of the viewers (largely little children, I'm sure) when these conversations are happening. What I am saying, is that real skill information about the Pokemon game is carefully woven into the plot of the animated show. Certainly, this must greatly enhance the gaming experience. An all-around clever concept. A Jigglypuff character (that I saw on the first episode that I watched; it looked kind of like a balloony Furbie) used a special attack of singing, and put an entire town to sleep by repeating its name over and over: 'Jiggly-Puff, Ji-gg-a-lee Puff' - it was almost surreal. What is neat, is that many of the characters use unusual special attacks like singing, ice beams, tsunami waves, you name it. Very fun, if you ask me. A refreshing change from the grind of axes, swords, spears, laser guns, and on. Even though I have my doubts about the benefits of exposing small children to violence of any kind, I think that the Pokemon show tries to put a kind of civilized, happy spin on the constant aggression that is present in almost all of the children's' cartoon shows. Bravo to the creators of the entertaining Pokemon. --- daemon.log About the new dance craze Mon Sep 27 1999 Although I have written about them quite frequently all throughout these files, now seems to be a good time to comment a bit further on demons, and other, associated topics. Regarding my comments about the great obsession of demons and demonically possessed people with unrighteous sexual activities: I have wondered for much of my life about why such evil practices as pedophilia, bondage and degradation, sado-masochism and homosexuality are so heavily promoted by certain individuals and organizations. Why are evil people so intensely enraptured over such sinister, unwholesome modalities? Let's consider the practice of sodomy; it seems to be a good, basic evil to focus on. Why do people practice it? Obviously, it has nothing whatsoever to do with procreation (especially when practiced between members of the same sex). What gives? Probably, some people might state that it provides them with feelings of pleasure, or something along those lines. I would like to explore the concept of sodomy more closely. Occasionally, when someone has a very bad accident that involves areas of the body adjacent to the esophagus, normal feeding of the person, even of liquids, becomes risky or even impossible. Some of these victims are then 'fed' through their anus. A solution of nutrients is prepared, and an enema is administered. There are technical details that I cannot provide, for I am ignorant of them. The important thing to consider, is that it is literally possible for the human body to be nourished in this way. Now, if the body can be fed energizing, wholesome food through the sensitive, permeable membranes of the large intestine, what if fecal matter, rather than nutritious food, is compacted into the intestines? Why, of course - poisons, rather than a flow of nutrients, are introduced into the bloodstream. Actually, reintroduced, because the waste matter had already been consolidated into stool. Sodomites simply stuff it back into the chemistry of the body. I am sure that this sounds very silly to some people, but it is a correct analysis of what is happening to the practitioners of sodomy. They are being toxified, literally poisoned by their own waste materials. Many folks, even though it is usually explained quite early in grammar school curriculum, seem to forget that mammals have separate orifices for sexual activities, and the elimination of waste materials, while birds and reptiles have only one, which is used for both purposes. That's right, the same hole that lays eggs, also drops the poop. Most people, creationists and evolutionists alike, generally agree that the reptilian and avian orders of life appeared well before the debut of mammals. Mammals appearing on the scene ushered in the age of the anal passage functioning solely as a waste-eliminating orifice. I am not sure about the platypus, which lays eggs, but also provides milk for its young. Maybe it has an anus dedicated to the elimination of waste product, maybe not. As I have mentioned previously, something about the demeanor of certain fans of sodomy occasionally reminds me of reptiles, birds, even insects. I am not kidding - I'm sure that there are at least a few folks that might agree with me. Also, I must inform the readers that on most of the occasions where I clearly saw the beings that I am sure are demons, almost all of them had a reptilian look and aura to them. Very much so. Maybe there is some kind of connection there - the semi-reptilian forms of demons, and the concept of the universal alimentary canal orifice. Hmm. From time to time, I have heard some Biblical researchers refer to a pre-Adamic race, that allegedly dwelt upon Earth prior to the arrival of Adam and Eve. Most of the time, I get the impression that races aboriginal to Earth, like Africans or Indians, are being spoken of, and that the arrival of Adam and Eve basically could be seen as the 'bestowal' of the Aryan race upon Earth. This is the impression that usually seems to be conveyed, although most of the people that attempt to put forth these kinds of theories seem too nervous and embarrassed to really state such a thing with any real conviction. This theory seems to be supported by the careful analysis of the language of Genesis: The Hebrew word used to describe Adam translates into English as 'ruddy' or 'red,' which many researchers claim indicates that Adam was of a reddish, or 'Aryan' cast. The people that believe this, also usually believe that the land of Nod that Cain journeyed to, after slaying Abel, was some kind of cultural enclave of the non-Aryan races that had already been existent upon the Earth. There, Cain chose a wife, and had progeny that possibly resulted in the first people of combined genetic background. Also, right before Adam is created, mention is made of the fact that there is no man to 'till the soil.' It seems that the Lord may have designed Adam specifically for the purpose of 'gardening' the Earth. Consider all of the implications of the Garden of Eden. Did you know that mankind is described as having already been created before Adam? Read very carefully through Genesis, and see for yourself. Genesis 1:26-29 details the sixth-day creation of mankind; he creates mankind, and tells them to be fruitful and multiply. Then, God rests on the seventh day, blessing it as the Sabbath. Apparently, Adam is fashioned on the eight day. Maybe this indicates that the generations of Adam are somehow different from the rest of humanity. What do you think? Even though much evidence seems to be present to support this set of theories, I am not convinced that this scenario is entirely correct. I do agree that the great mystery of the deep differences between the racial and ethnic groups of Earth seems to point to some genuine divide somewhere in the far past. But, like most of the people of the modern age, I really do believe that the commonalties of the human family are more numerous than any differences. Ok, so what does all of this have to do with sodomy? In one of the Apocryphal books (I forget which one exactly), there is a story about a group of people that lived high on a mountain, and were devoted to God. The Lord warned them not to leave the mountain, lest they fall into the customs and habits of the people that lived in the lands and valleys below. Of course, eventually, everyone came down from the mountain, and got mixed up in the ungodly civilization below. What tempted them, was music and dancing, I believe. The valley folks were very festive. The mountain people snuck close to listen and watch what they were doing for a time, and then finally decided to take the plunge. I can't remember a whole lot more about the book, except that the Lord was upset about the mountain people coming down. Sodomy, Terry, sodomy. Yes, yes, hold on. I believe, of course, that God is against rape, sodomy, and other forms of sexual evil. Conversely, I believe that the enemies of the Lord are very much in favor of those practices. I know for sure that demons (and demonically possessed humans) get very excited about nasty, violent sexual practices, and that they always seek to entice people to engage in them. I guess what I am getting at, is that the Lord seems to be admonishing His people to stay away from cultures that practice false worship, because it leads to demonic possession, and all of the evils that go along with it. But the people of God always seem to be tempted to serve false gods, even when God goes out of His way to warn His people of the consequences. Serving false gods leads to slavery for individuals, families, tribes, nations - and worlds. This world seems to be midway through a very large-scale program of mass possession by demonic and fallen angelic beings. That is what I really believe is happening. It is a lot easier for me to believe this, because of the bizarre experiences that I have had, and the unusual things that I have seen. I can't expect most people to understand, because I know that a lot of folks have not seen and experienced the types of things that I have. In summary, I will say that there appears to be some kind of very ancient connection to the whole issue of ungodly sexual practices. Perhaps in the far-flung past, there were mutant races (perhaps combinations of human and reptilian forms) created by rebellious angelic beings, and that they were instructed by their 'fathers' in all of the ways of Satanic cruelty and unholiness. Maybe the surviving spirits of those hypothetical ancient beings are our modern-day demons. I can't say for sure. I just know that those evil creatures really do exist. If you ever see one, you will really freak out. --- oddish.log Who's that Pokemon? Tue Sep 28 1999 Pokemon - more reasons why I like it so much. The characters all have very unique strengths and weaknesses, which usually are best understood when the battle sequences roll around. I saw two more episodes today: one featured a character that had presented an embarrassment for Misty, the lead female character, in a previous show. It was the Psyduck Pokemon (it looks like a chubby yellow duck), which had been a real flop in a contest about two or three shows ago. Psyduck walks around with its hands (paws; wings?) on top of its head, chanting its name again and again: 'Psyduck, Psy-duck,' in a kind of weary little drone. The look in its eyes conveys a sort of haunted, neurotic quality. It had seemed quite feeble and unprepared when it was called up for a contest a few episodes ago. Misty's sisters (from a place called Cerulean City, where they are all water-Pokemon trainers) had all jeered at it when it was brought forth. Anyhow, another character, called Farfetch'd, had a battle with the Psyduck Pokemon. The Farfetch'd critter is supposed to be a very rare and strong Pokemon; it looked like a ordinary (cartoon-wise) bird, that carried a long leek (yes, the onion) for a weapon. After the fight started, that leek met the forehead of Psyduck again and again; Psyduck just continued groaning out its name repeatedly. But the onlooking trainers began to excitedly say: 'look, it's working!,' or something like that. I didn't understand why. Suddenly, Psyduck's eyes began to glow a brilliant television screen blue. An aura of brightness came over it, and then the Farfetch'd character was blasted back, right into its trainer, who was also the main villain of that particular episode ('So Close And Yet So Farfetch'd'). The Farfetch'd Pokemon and its trainer were a little criminal team, and had been tricking people out of their Pokemon balls (in which, Pokemon characters are stored). They were so clever, that they'd even been able to trick the standard villains (Jesse, James and their Pokemon companion Meowth; they are called 'Team Rocket,' and they have appeared in all of the episodes that I've seen thus far) out of their Pokemon. What had happened, regarding the Psyduck character's sudden surge of strength, was called a 'Super Migraine Attack' - another example of the weird fighting skills that are employed by the unusual Pokemon characters. I guess it had to be stressed past a certain point, before its special attack would work. Pretty neat. In this episode, moral concepts about the value of honesty and integrity were very cleverly conveyed, which pleased me well. The other episode ('Bulbasaur and the Hidden Village,' the first of the two) featured what I am assuming is one of the more popular characters in the Pokemon pantheon - Bulbasaur. I heard the comedian Robin Williams mention Bulbasaur during a conversation on a morning television show - he was joking about one of his little kids hustling Pokemon trading cards, using an auctioneer's frenzied voice. The Bulbasaur Pokemon is a little toughy that looks like a froggy baby dinosaur, with a big plant bulb growing on its back. Misty, Ash (the male lead character) and Brock (another, older young male character) discovered a hidden Pokemon 'health spa' (which is how Brock described it) run by a fetching young lady (that Brock had a romantic interest in) named Melanie, a sort of Pokemon doctor. There, sick Pokemon were able to regain their strength under her loving care. What led them there, was a series of events that unfolded after Ash and Misty tried to capture some wild Pokemon that had appeared: the aforementioned Bulbasaur, and another one called Oddish, that presented itself just before Bulbasaur showed up. The Oddish creature was extremely meek, and looked like a large blue radish. Yeah. In all of the confusion that unfolded after Ash and Misty tried to capture those two Pokemon, Brock tumbled into a river, after a rope bridge that they were all trying to cross snapped apart. Ash, Misty and Pikachu (which is their traveling companion) climbed back up, and then began to search for Brock. They got caught in several traps along the way; the last one being of the net-dangling-from-a-tree variety. As they hung there, Ash speculated wildly about what might have happened to Brock, imagining that he'd been carried away by river currents to the sea, and captured by pirates. Just then, Brock appeared and freed them from the trap. He then led them to the hidden village, where Melanie was tending her little game sprite charges. The Team Rocket characters showed up, as usual, and tried to steal all of the sick Pokemon; I will forego providing any more details about the episode, and just explain that Ash wound up adding the Bulbasaur to his collection, after Bulbasaur and Pikachu had an exciting fight, which Pikachu won. Another endearing (and somewhat annoying) attribute of all of the Pokemon, is that every one of them uses its name - exclusively - to communicate. Sometimes the name is vocalized in segments, or only selected syllables are used (For example, Pikachu often squeaks out 'Pika!' or 'Achu!'). The inflection of the name is the way that different shades of meaning are conveyed. When the Oddish character was feeling sad, it used a more hushed and meek intonation of its name, than when it was communicating 'normally.' The show is a lot of good ideas wrapped up in a tidy conceptual husk. It's easy to understand why so many little children enjoy it - the combination of interesting, cuddly characters and aggressive contests is a real winner. The fact that the animated show and the content of the video games overlap, is very important to understand, because the kids learn more about the games from the cartoon, and thus, interest in both the show and the games is intensified. --- fuzzy.log About as often as not Tue Sep 28 1999 The Pokemon marketing empire, including the many licensed products that go along with the games and television show, is estimated to be worth more than five billion dollars. Whew. That's a lot of smackeroos. I have never been impressed with the concept of big money, but you have to admit that it is really amazing that such a simple concept could generate so much cash. I am sure that the Pokemon idea was a team effort, created by the game engineers at Nintendo; it must owe a lot to many earlier game concepts and their designers. A Pokemon movie, one of three that have already debuted in Japan, is slated to appear here, in late fall. I think that the Japanese approach to games and animation may well smush some of our cherished kiddie institutions (like Disney and Warner Brothers) eventually. The main reason why I believe this, is because of the Japanese focus on combining video gaming and animation components into a seamless concept. Also, in the average Japanese video game/animation pantheon, there are more characters, and there is more to know about each of them; thus, their shows are generally more interesting, at least to children. Most American adults would probably agree that, compared to many of the Asian animated creatures, our cartoon products seem to operate with much more fluid personality and human-like emotion (at least by Western standards), often conveying a greater 'warmth' of sorts - but that isn't what impresses little kids, really. Believe it or not, most small children are highly concerned with moral issues (consider the fact that children are always crying out about whether or not something is 'fair'), and that is where a lot of the Asian cartoons for young children excel. Examples of morality issues in the plots of Asian cartoon shows abound. Even though very few video games can be said to provide any kind of serious instruction on morality, the games that have companion shows allow a greater level of psycho-spiritual dimensioning to occur. In other words, video game/cartoon show combos may be a very powerful way to etch moral concepts into the minds of children. Certainly, many child psychologists already know this. The Asians, particularly the Japanese, obviously do. Whatever set of moral codes are being conveyed on any particular show, are very likely deeply absorbed by the children that are devotees of the series; if they play games, or log onto websites that are associated with the show, they are just reaffirming their agreement with the mores being conveyed via the program. Of course, this holds true for television shows that older children and adults watch, as well. Many folks might argue that there are scads of Western animated, and live-action children's' shows that deal with important moral and ethical issues. Yes, this is very true, but very few of them are geared towards very young kids, and even fewer have action-packed video games to accompany them. The intense niceness that prevails on the Pokemon show is very infectious: I have been really shocked to see how often the characters have actually conveyed genuine feelings of concern for each other. Even though it is a bit girlish, it's a very nice change from the endless harshness that is present throughout the wasteland of kiddie cartoon fare. When an abandoned Pokemon (a Charmander, which looks like a little reddish-orange baby dinosaur, with a flame at the tip of its tail - if the flame goes out, it perishes) was close to death, in a Pokemon hospital, the three main characters all paced around outside of the room, seeming extremely concerned for the critter's well-being. This is not a common theme on cartoon shows. Another funny thing, is that the kid that abandoned the Charmander, had a cocky British accent, and ran around with a crowd of other mean little punks. This may have been an embedded Asian political statement (regarding British colonialism) of sorts, or perhaps it is only my interpretation. I find the show to be very interesting. I have also seen another, similar series called 'Digimon,' which is also kind of neat, but not as intriguing to me as Pokemon. --- meowth.log Maranatha, don'cha know Wed Sep 29 1999 There are so many things of interest to me that I could write about. But, I am having a very serious problem with headaches lately, and it is difficult for me to keep my focus; pondering on certain topics can really worsen the pain in my brain. I have probably said this before: I have pretty much decided to give up on trying to warn people about the kinds of sinister things that are happening behind the scenes. The more you try to make folks aware of the creepy crap, the worse it seems to get. Most people already seem to have a basic grasp of it, anyhow. I am not responsible for the fate of the masses - I have myself, and my family members to worry about. When I was a little kid, I used to wonder about the descriptions in Revelation of angels dutifully pouring out plagues and other disasters upon the earth. Why would God do that to us? Now I understand. Most of the world seems bent on evil, hypocritical systems of power. If the impossible would happen, and the 'traditional' evils were stopped, I really do believe that it would make a huge difference. We might be able to look forward to a true golden age of peace and harmony, prior to the return of Christ, rather than the hellish scenario that seems to be ready to unfold at any moment. I could be wrong, of course. We might have years, or even decades or centuries ahead of us, before Jesus returns. But I don't think so. I am sure that Christ will be here very soon, and that the elect will be gathered, just as we have been told. --- squirtle.log Gotta catch 'em all Thu Sep 30 1999 The gallery of Pokemon characters goes on and on - today, I learned of yet another type, the Squirtle, which resembles a baby blue colored turtle. The Squirtles in the episode I watched all wore sunglasses, ran together in a sort of gang, and behaved badly - spray painting buildings, and pulling nasty pranks on the townspeople. They (like the Charmander) had been abandoned by their trainers. A police officer named Jenny (one of a whole group of officer Jennies) lamented that nobody cared enough about them, which was why they were all such rotten little delinquents. The girlish care factor again, which I simply must applaud. I won't provide further details about the Squirtle episode, because the second show was a bit more interesting: it featured the Bulbasaur character again, who wound up in the Pokemon hospital after a battle. The main characters thought that it was sick, but after a thorough examination, the nurse told them that it wasn't ill after all. It was preparing to 'evolve' into a higher level type of Pokemon. The nurse continued, and explained further that there was some sort of Bulbasaur evolution festival, where all of them met at the proper time, to change into their new form, which is called the Ivysaur. After the nurse shared all of the Bulbasaur lore that she possessed, the main characters all retired for the evening, leaving the Bulbasaur in the hospital examination room, where it was peacefully sleeping, while hooked up to a bunch of medical apparatus. Pikachu awoke, after hearing the Bulbasaur stealthily leave the building. The evolution festival was beginning, and there were legions of the little critters marching past the Pokemon center (which is where all of the characters were staying). In hoarse little voices, they were all chanting their names in unison: 'Bul-ba-saur, Bul-ba-saur.' There was something very earthy and primal about all of this. Pikachu (who, incidentally, is a mouse - I learned this today, from a Pokemon card) rushed outdoors, and had a Pokemon conversation ('Pika-ka pika,' 'Bul-Bulba saur saur' - I think that I have already explained the unusual conventions of the Pokemon way of communicating) with Bulbasaur, who was facing the assembly of other Bulbasaurs. Suddenly, the other Bulbasaurs grabbed Bulbasaur tightly with their vines, and carried him high above them towards the place where they were to congregate; I think that the nurse had referred to it as the 'Hidden Garden,' or something similar. The others awoke after Pikachu had an electrical spasm, which he often does - they all followed the trail to the place where the Bulbasaurs were meeting. I thought that what happened next was pretty weird. There was a large, bare tree in the middle of a field, and the Bulbasaurs all gathered around it. Then, a crevice at the base of the tree lit up (I think that is how it happened, but I'm not sure whether I am remembering it correctly), and a huge Bulbasaur appeared. I think that a Pokemon information device that Ash carries with him informed the group of observers that the gigantic Pokemon was actually called a Venusaur - the final evolutionary stage of what began as a Bulbasaur. The whole thing was pretty strange; I will stop describing it here. In the past, I have carefully thought about whether dinosaurs might once have existed on Venus, perhaps before the atmosphere, well - Venus seems to be very interesting for many reasons. I get a feeling of great sadness from thinking about it sometimes, and I often wonder why. There are a great many things that I could say about Venus, but I won't, because I really don't know for sure if any of them are valid. And even if I did, I couldn't prove it, at least not yet. I will say that I think that a lot of people might be very surprised at what the future holds. In the late afternoon, as I was walking along Sheridan towards a store, I heard a voice within a little group of kids (about six or seven of them) speak the name of one of the Pokemon characters. I quickly stopped, and after noticing that most of them were clutching Pokemon cards, asked if they knew where to buy some in the neighborhood; I'd been wondering where to get them. A dollar store, just a few paces away, sold them - for fifty cents apiece! Pretty steep for just one card, don't you think? I returned later, and purchased a Bulbasaur and a slightly bent Pikachu (which I had to buy from one of the kids, because there weren't any in the store). I was, and am, very pleased. --- ginseng.log I don't know, but I've been told Fri Oct 1 1999 There are several other animated shows that I have watched over the past few weeks, that are very impressive to me. The 'Roughnecks: Starship Troopers Chronicles' and 'Reboot' shows, which are both glossy, CA (computer animation) offerings, are extremely interesting, for their plot content, as well as their immediate eye appeal. They also blend important moral and ethical issues in with the standard violent aggression (which is what probably keeps many young children riveted in front of the tube). I enjoyed the Reboot show years ago, during the first few seasons that it debuted on the local ABC affiliate, WLS - it is now in reruns on the Cartoon Network, and I have noticed scads of episodes (and sub-plot structures) that I'd missed. What has me so interested in the kiddie fare lately, is a group of thoughts that I have been having about the general flow of things in our culture, and whether or not recovery from certain types of moral breaches may be possible. I really don't feel like getting into a long-winded discussion about all of the things that I think are wrong with America, and the West in general; I am sure that anyone that feels even remotely close to the way that I do, already knows well what and where the most serious problems are. I have come to the conclusion, that if there is going to be a general recovery from the deep psycho-spiritual malaise that has been worsening here throughout the past decade or so, we will probably begin to see it manifested in things like children's' programming. This is because of the relationship between the mental and spiritual health of children, and the future of the civilization in which they are developing. One great irony of what I am seeing, is that it appears that some of the strongest moral and ethical 'programming' in the kids' shows, seems to be coming from Eastern sources. Although I have a small set of complaints about this, basically I think that it is a good thing. My complaints are that there are some decidedly non-Christian value systems and attitudinal paradigms being promoted, but most of them are not really directly offensive to Christianity. It's almost as if very subtly different substitutes for what should be our ideal values are being inserted into the minds of the kids. Again, I don't feel like getting into the nitty-gritty details of just what I mean, although I really should, since I've brought it up. I'll just say that I believe that our Western moral ideals have become just that - ideals. They are largely no longer the living, kinetic realities that they once were. Their passing has left a vacuum in the minds, hearts and souls of many of the young people, who, do not doubt it, really are very concerned with moral and ethical issues, being the impressionable little sponges that they are. Because of this, as I have just said, value systems that are similar, but not identical to Judeo-Christian ideals, are being appropriated. Western mores have been in flux throughout much of the latter part of the twentieth century, and now, there is very little solid, dry ground for anyone to position themselves on, as regards what is right and wrong. Since practically everyone (even the average kid) knows that our values are nonexistent, or shot through with gaping holes, many of the ancient Eastern cultures' values seem very sturdy and attractive. Thus, there is an almost silent veneration of certain aspects of Eastern culture amongst the very young people of the West today. Some of this, I believe, is good, but other aspects of it are disturbing to me. This is a very real issue - I have seen the truth of it in action many times. However, you will probably not read about anything along these lines, in any of our popular Western magazines, because of the deep American and Western chauvinism that still exists against things Eastern, amongst the older members of our population. Really, most folks don't even realize most of what I have just outlined; it is largely a subconscious affair. Many of the people that do understand these matters are in denial about such issues, usually because of some ingrained belief in the 'superiority' of all things Western. Heh. They will be surprised, if they don't snap out of their stupor soon. The Eastern cultures are very ancient, subtle and wise. Anywho, I feel that if our people don't realize what an absolute moral wasteland we are becoming, soon enough, that there may be little hope of preventing a complete implosion of what we have labored for centuries to build over here, in the 'new world.' And I feel that if we are going to endure much more deconstruction, at the hands of the dedicated enemies of God, that this won't be an issue much longer, because I am sure that the final stages of breakdown will begin in earnest very soon. Evidently, social decay is nearing a kind of critical mass, but it hasn't yet passed the point where things are irrecoverable. To be blunt, I think that the Chinese, and other Asian peoples may soon be marching over our bones, if we won't realize how incredibly stupid and ungodly we've been. I hope not, but it sure seems possible. The heavy finality of the preceding paragraph seemed like a good place to end this file, but I have decided to lengthen it a bit; it is now late Thursday evening, and I will probably keep adding text until tomorrow rolls around. It's apparent to me that Pikachu is the real star of the Pokemon show. I also believe that a woman does the voice-overs for the appealing mouse, as is the case for the Bart Simpson and Rocky the Flying Squirrel animated characters. This may be a trade secret to lending a certain air of sophistication and mystery to a male cartoon character. Nyuk. I guess I should say a thing or two about Jesse, James and Meowth - the 'Team Rocket' characters, who play the main villains in every episode of Pokemon. They are some of the most likable bad guys that I have ever watched. This may have something to do with the fact that they always get totally trounced, which makes you feel a bit sorry for them. Also, they are endlessly cocky and vain, which is also slightly endearing, because of the saccharine sweetness of the show in general; without them, even the littlest kids might suffer from sugar-shock. That's how nicey-nice the show is. The Jesse character, somehow, reminds me of Lauren Cohn. Don't ask me why, because it doesn't make sense to me either. She doesn't resemble her much. Something about the aura of the baddies reminds me of the New Wave movement from the eighties. They have a little motto, that they repeat in every episode, right before their main assault begins. I think it goes: 'To protect the world from devastation - To unite all peoples in our nation - To fight the evils of truth and love - to extend our reach to the stars above - Team Rocket - Blast off at the speed of light - Surrender now, or prepare to fight.' Hilarious. You really have to see them. The very weirdest thing that I have noticed thus far in the Pokemon series appeared today, at the end of the 'Mystery at the Lighthouse' episode. It really disturbed me, because I know now for sure that other people have been seeing some of the very same unbelievable cloud formations that I have. There is no doubt in my mind about it. I wasn't going to mention this, even though I feel that it is very important, because it seems to synchronize well with the feelings that I got from the episode that featured the 'Venusaur.' People that think of this kind of seemingly irrational thought process as just a bunch of goofy hooey, probably aren't used to the unconventional modes of mentation that I am. Often, I will begin to consider a particular idea, and a truly incredible sequence of related occurrences will begin to unfold. Because of the frequency of this kind of phenomena in my life, I have often considered the possibility that my consciousness is being 'entrained' somehow. At times, this often does appear to be the case - maybe some of the bizarre synchronicities and coincidences that I have noticed over the years have been partially or completely orchestrated. I'd like very much to believe that this has been solely by the will of the Lord, but a contrary source often seems to be more the case. There have been times when I really do feel that God has been communicating with me, but, because of the strange times that we are living in, I feel that it is best to be as cautious and suspicious as possible. I have read a lot of material about various mind manipulation technologies, and it really saddens me to think that such powerful technologies might actually be in the hands of the sick people that are prevailing in this age. What I believe, is that a combination of demons and evil fallen angelic beings have overtaken a select group of humans, probably comprising the greater part of the current crop of world political representatives, as well as people from all other walks of life. That combination seems to be largely responsible for the manifestation and maintenance of the hellish psycho-spiritual atmosphere that has been prevailing in many quarters. There. Simple, concise, and precise. That's basically what I think is 'going on.' If the evil spiritual situation wasn't as deep, I might be ready to believe that only human intelligences were perpetrators. That does not appear to be true; I am sure that there are very wicked non-human minds involved in the details of what has been happening. This is what helps to explain the amazing complexity of certain aspects of the entire sinister phenomenon. Surely, there are various human individuals and groups that would like to assign credit to themselves for certain things, but the fact of the matter, is that almost all of them appear to be hopeless, sad meat puppets - 'wannabe' mind controllers, if you will. The demons and evil angels that are directing their activities seem to be doing nearly all of the real footwork, while feasting on the meager souls of their stupid human hosts. Dummies. Even though they are really only a bunch of pathetic zombie vassals, I am sure that Satan's loyal human slaves will receive exactly enough credit to earn them a snug little cubby-hole in hell, right next to their demonic and fallen angelic masters, that they love so vewy, vewy much. There, they will burn endlessly for all eternity. Really for really. I know the truth of it. Like I said, I have pretty much given up on trying to warn the fools. I am not the only person that has tried, and I might not be the last, exactly. They should have more than enough information by now to make the important decisions about the fate of their immortal souls. That is something that I simply cannot do for anyone besides myself. I will do my best to serve Jesus. I hope that as many people as possible choose the Lord, because He really is the way. --- denounce.log Good laboratory practice standards Sat Oct 2 1999 Before I forget, I'd like to note that the line from the Team Rocket motto is 'to denounce the evils of truth and love,' rather than 'to fight,' as I wrote in yesterday's file. Today, they (Team Rocket) actually cheered for Pikachu, when he fought against a Raichu, which is a higher form of his type. That show is endlessly entertaining to me, although I am beginning to wonder whether or not the Nintendo people have hired witch doctors to stimulate interest in some of the products that they are marketing in conjunction with the Pokemon show and games. Today, I discovered that a video store regularly sells packs of Pokemon cards (in which there are only eleven cards) for $4.99 each. And I thought that it was bad for the stores to sell single cards for fifty cents! They are only simple bubble-gum type cards; maybe it's because they are printed in full color, and glossy on both sides, like playing cards. Still, I think that such a steep price is real highway robbery. Supply and demand, I guess. It kind of bothers me to think of this, because I know how obsessed little kids can get over simple things like those cards, and I can just imagine the kinds of weird dramas that are swirling around Pokemon trading issues. Counterfeit cards are turning up already. I just finished watching John Stossel and Barbara Walters discuss the hoopla over the cards. Class action suits have been filed against Nintendo, claiming that they are guilty of racketeering, and other bad business practices; they actually had several kids and their parents in a courtroom, talking about the feverish behavior associated with collecting and trading the cards. They also mentioned that some of the cards are printed and distributed in small quantities, which drives up their market value considerably. I'll bet that some people are actually making a bundle, dealing those cards, especially because of the approach of the holiday season. All of this is rather amusing to me, but it would be difficult to explain exactly why. I have been trying to carefully analyze the entire phenomenon, and isolate all of the main reasons why there is such fervent, heated interest in Pokemon product. First of all, the games must be fairly interesting. Even though I haven't yet even read through an instruction manual for any of them, I am quite familiar with many common Nintendo gaming conventions and dynamics, so, together with the little information that I have read about them, I can almost imagine what the initial cartridges (for the Game Boy system) are like. They must be much like the Final Fantasy series of Game Boy cartridges, with an outer 'quest' shell, and inner, turn-based 'battle' sequences. The games probably have a strong musical element - most of the better Nintendo games feature pleasing, slightly ethereal ditties, that often linger in the mind for hours after gaming activity has ceased. From my experience, that is one of the best, and most underrated things about Nintendo games - the tunes. They can be very haunting, but most people, even children, would never discuss this fact. A very important component of what the Pokemon craze is all about, I am sure. The music on the cartoon show (some of which may be taken from the games) is pretty good, but there isn't a lot of variety, like there are in most video games. There is a (Game Boy) game called Kirby's Dreamland, that has a special, secret mode where you can select from a menu list of tunes from different game levels; after I discovered it, I actually got as much pleasure from just listening to the music, as I did from playing the game itself. The same is true for the Final Fantasy cartridges, but you access the music by playing it on a little 'jukebox,' which is present in certain segments of the quest. Those little snatches of music were actually named, and you had to spend some of your gaming money to play them. It is all pretty cool stuff, to me. What seems to be the real innovation of the Pokemon concept, if it can be called that, is the deeper 'dimensioning' of the palette of characters that are featured in the game. Early Nintendo successes, like the Mario Brothers games, always included little stories about the game characters in the booklet of instructions that came along with the cartridge, but the sprites usually didn't seem to get past the second dimension, as far as real personality attributes were concerned. Most of the little game creatures had very simple, predictable movement patterns, and the main goal was to decipher what they were going to do next, so that you could best them, and progress to higher levels, where more complex and agile creatures awaited to challenge you. Basically, Nintendo characters were like puzzles, that had to be figured out, so that games could be won. Now, it appears that the company has really begun to 'breathe life' into its creations. Many of them seem to have progressed beyond the stage of the automaton, and now seem to actually have real personalities. I get the feeling that some of the designers have actually invested real emotional energy into certain characters, and this is what makes all the difference. A big shift from the earlier Mario and Donkey Kong stages, but very much so a natural progression, as far as I can tell. It very likely has a lot to do with the maturation of some of the teams of game designers. There seem to be several true rising stars within the ranks of Pokemon characters. Pikachu is not alone. Really, it surprises me that it has taken so long for the Nintendo designers to bring some of their characters to a more stereoscopic, holistic state of being. I have greatly enjoyed most of their games over the years, and I am truly happy that they are now enjoying the greater level of success that I sincerely believe they richly deserve. --- fuzzier.log A boy named Pikachu Mon Oct 4 1999 I am becoming a real pokeologist. Yes, I am worried about my obsession too; I have never felt this positive about a cartoon show - it's a little eerie. There aren't a whole lot of Western-style laughs in it, either, which is what most of us (I think) expect from animated kiddie shows. Maybe that is another thing that is unique about it; the cross-breeding of highly abstracted Eastern forms of drama (you know - the type of energy associated with Kung-Fu films: the band of journeying friends; the quest; one on one, highly physical, and slightly mystical battles) with the less serious Western comedic cartoon show approach. I can't wait to get some more thorough information about the show, like a magazine that outlines the endless array of characters. That will be interesting. Why? Well, I debated whether or not I should go into detail, but I believe that I have discovered some very interesting hidden meanings within the plot structure of Pokemon. Silly, right? Well, just listen. For starters, there is the consideration that the good kids (Ash, Misty and Brock) have Pikachu, who is a (sumo-sized, I might add) mouse, as their companion. The Team Rocket kids (Jesse and James) have Meowth, who is a cat. I just realized this about an hour ago; the reason why it took me so long to think of this, is a revelation in itself. There are no chases, where Meowth tries to personally capture Pikachu, which is almost always the case when a cat and mouse are present in the same cartoon show. Meowth, Jesse and James all scheme together, and their main goal often is to swipe the Japanese mouse from Ash and company. Pikachu is an electrical type of Pokemon (there are various different elemental classes of them: water, fire, rock and so on), and frequently spills over with ambient electrical energy, sending out surges that zap foes, and occasionally, friends. Whenever Team Rocket actually does capture the live-wire mouse, they have to be sure to provide some type of insulating barrier between themselves and the electrically crackling Pokester, otherwise they will be electrocuted. The scoundrel Meowth does not appear to have a 'special attack' of any kind, other than, perhaps, a corny sense of humor. What am I trying to say? Never mind; let me move along to another, perhaps more understandable example of an unveiled Pokemystery. Today, there was an episode called 'The Evolution Solution' - it was the one that featured the Slowbro character that resulted from the Shellder chomping the tail of a Slowpoke. A pokeologist professor was trying to make sense out the process, and indicated that he would win great fame amongst his peers, if he ever did. At a certain juncture, he opened up a laptop computer, and showed the kids a simulation of how the Shellder chomped onto the tail of the Slowpoke, creating a new creature, called the Slowbro. He pointed out that after this happened, the shell of the Shellder creature changed from the clamshell kind, to a spiral, periwinkle type. All of this was presented in a tedious, pseudo-scientific way, which was extremely amusing to me. Anyhow, later in the show, after the Shellder had briefly chomped the tail of the Psyduck character (Ash claimed that Psyduck was going to evolve into a Psybro, but eventually said that he was just joking), and then finally made it to the tail of the Slowpoke, the professor had a 'eureka' moment, and finally determined why the process happened as it did. He explained that it was a 'mutually beneficial' arrangement, because the weight of the Shellder on the tail of the Slowpoke acted as a counter-balance, enabling it to stand up on two legs, and use it's forepaws for powerful new attacks. I forget what the Shellder got out of the bargain; perhaps a meal of Slowpoke tail, eventually. Now, bear with me. Something about this explanation reminded me of the fraternal 'system,' and the evil antics associated with it. The symbolism of a sea-creature clamping onto the tail of a land-based animal, resulting in a type of 'mutually beneficial evolution,' seems to analogize well with the thinking of they that are the pushers of the evil 'traditions' of forced sodomy. The people that are in favor of such inane animalistic customs seem to think that they are 'evolving' their victims to a higher state of being, or something. Think I'm kidding? You know that I am not. This is the kind of rationale that they must use internally, to excuse themselves for practicing those heinous abominations, that I know the Lord hates. This might sound a little crazy, but I know what I'm talking about. I am a pro at deciphering their often-cutesy coded language and symbolism. Creeps. The writers for the Pokemon game and show probably didn't consciously build that kind of symbolism into their product, but there it is. The concept of those wicked practices making people more intelligent, or advanced is a total joke. That Egyptian bondage voodoo stuff is keeping many Americans (especially poor urban folks), in a veritable stone age of 'boodie consciousness.' I think that sodomy actually degenerates the minds, bodies and souls of its practitioners. Or, maybe I am wrong. I really don't think that I am. At this point, it seems all the way ungodly, to me. There are actually lobbyists in Washington, for something called NAMBLA, which stands for the National Man-Boy Love Association, or something like that. Their goal, is to make it perfectly legal for male adults to have sex with boys as young as eight years old. Can you believe that we actually have people like that, walking around in the capital, trying to gain political favor? And they have been there for decades! Isn't that insane? Catch me lucky charms! One big obstacle, in trying to get more of an active debate going, about whether or not those sick, government-directed generational curses of demonic possession should be allowed to continue, is the 'squeaky wheel' syndrome. Many people seem to collectively send a telepathic 'shut up - this is the price that we are all paying for a civilized society' message to anyone that dares to speak against those evils. That shouldn't be so. I sincerely believe that the continued allowance of those particular (the popular 'game' of poisoning and violating innocent victims) sins will assure the ultimate collapse of this already-rickety civilization. All of the anal-maniacs continually try to whitewash and sugar-coat their base practices, especially through all forms of popular media. There has been a big stink over some painting of the Virgin Mary in an art gallery in New York City. I don't know all of the details, but it seems to be a very unappealing piece of artwork, with questionable and offensive symbolic features (anal and vaginal iconography is present, and a lump of elephant dung was worked into it somehow). Don't those same angry voices find the concept of a person of any kind being doped, violated and horribly misrepresented to be just as disturbing and offensive? Or do they have no problems with the Cup of the Great Harlot, Babylon? The way things have progressed over the years can be downright weird. I once had an entire room of (completely heterosexual, as best as I remember) people glare at me angrily, when I spoke a few disdainful words against the practice of sodomy, which one young man had been repeatedly glorifying in common language. This was when I worked at the Anatomical Chart Supply Company. I couldn't even have a friendly conversation with some of my co-workers, after that incident. If I am right about a sexual seduction happening in the Garden of Eden, then it figures that the serpent, and his 'seed,' would probably be the main perpetrators of the Mark of the Beast, because they are the first intelligent beasts mentioned in the Bible. If the 'mark' is, in fact, sodomy, or has something to do with occultic, sodomite practices, that would explain the highly irrational modes of conduct that one can often observe sodomy aficionados engaging in. I believe that the folks that practice the Babylon system (ritualistic sodomy seems to be a big part of it) are the offspring of the serpent, and that they are mostly, if not completely, damned to hell. However, I am nobody's judge. I could be completely wrong. I believe that many people mistake the psycho-spiritual effects of the subsequent demonization that seems to occur along with the Mystery Babylon process, for some kind of uplifting enlightenment. This is not so. The unfortunate victims are suffering from very real instances of demonic (and, increasingly, fallen angelic) possession, to varying degrees. This is what I am betting, because of my own deeply miserable experiences. Team Rocket often begins their standard motto (which I have noted in other files) with the lines: 'Prepare for trouble - Make it double.' Those guys are a real hoot. --- togepi.log To vanquish the vile Wed Oct 6 1999 There are a lot of seldom-discussed Biblical topics that I have tried to understand over the years; some are less cryptic than others, but all of them remain unanswered, or in question, at least in my mind. For one, I'd like to know, if possible, exactly what fruit was eaten (from the tree of knowledge of good and evil) by Adam and Eve in the garden. The apple seems to be what almost everyone considers it to be, but from what I have heard, the actual fruit is never named in the original Hebrew text, so maybe the classic representation of an apple as the forbidden fruit has been some kind of Satanic disinformation campaign. It could have been a banana, a plum, or a coconut, for all we know. Maybe it no longer exists. Wouldn't it be great to know for sure? Another thing that is really puzzling to me, is how we are told (in the book of Jude) that evil men will have 'crept in' to the Christian church, and that the bogus ministers will have been 'before of old ordained to this condemnation.' That is a really interesting statement, if you consider it very carefully: the 'crept in' ones have been condemned from 'before of old.' What does that mean? I have a number of theories, but I will let the readers reach their own conclusions. Just remember that we are told further that those evil men turn the Lord's Grace into lasciviousness, which basically means 'perverse and sensual.' Jude also mentions the wicked angels that left their 'first estate,' and who, we are told, are 'reserved in everlasting chains under darkness unto the judgment of the great day.' Then, right after that, it is implied that those chained angels are set forth as an example for us, as was the case of the Lord bringing His fiery judgment down upon the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha. There are a lot of other fascinating things to ponder upon in the book of Jude - it is a very powerful text, for being only a page or two in length. Yesterday evening, while scrounging, I found a rubber puppet of a nun, dressed in a habit and wearing a gold cross. It was near the very bottom of the dumpster, and wrapped in a green fuzzy blanket with some other items, including a very nice jade-like lamp, which I also salvaged. At first, I left the puppet on top of the bin (because I thought it was a little creepy), and walked towards the other end of the alley, continuing my scroungabout. When I returned the same way, someone had taken a hard hat that I had left on the dumpster (I often leave usable items that I don't want atop the bins) next to the puppet, and thrown the puppet on the ground (or, the wind might have blown it off - it was pretty powerful at that time). I couldn't leave it on the ground, so I brought it back home. I made sure to wash the thing, because it was pretty cruddy, and you never know about odd items like that. It has kind of remained in my mind over the past day or so. It is a weird item. I have never attended Catholic schools, but I have always heard that the nuns can be very bossy, unpleasant people. All of the nuns that I have met have been pretty nice. There is one slight exception - a nun that I met with a friend of mine, Chris, while we were making a nest of dried grass in the branches of a tree, for a baby bird that had dropped to the ground (in the backyard of a building that was part of a local Catholic women's' college campus). She came striding across towards us, and asked very loudly what we were doing. When we told her, she asked to see the bird; when we showed it to her, she loudly said: 'Oh, it's a sparrow - well, I guess they deserve to live too.' This seemed very icky to me, and I believe I even felt a little sick. I recall looking at my friend Chris, who looked kind of pale and aghast. You had to be there, and you had to be us - we were both about nine years old. It had everything to do with the sarcastic and unkind inflection of her voice. Today, I caught two more action-packed episodes of Pokemon - our heroes (along with Team Rocket), after escaping from a capsized ocean liner, a Magicarp Pokemon that 'evolved' into a monstrous sea dragon, and a water cyclone (that the angry dragon conjured up), found themselves awakening on a beach. Ash had lost his Pokeballs, and the Pokemon that were contained within. The kids quickly decided to search for them. Team Rocket, after being rudely awakened from a posh daydream, also found that their balls were missing. The reason why this episode ('The Island of the Giant Pokemon') was particularly interesting to me, is because I finally got a glimpse into the psyche of the Pokemon creatures themselves. The mysterious name-chatter that they always use was subtitled, which I hadn't seen done before. Pikachu released Ash's other lost Pokemon (Charmander, Bulbasaur and Squirtle) from their containers, and after a brief conflict with Meowth, who was traveling with Ekans and Weezing (Pokemon creatures that belong to Jesse and James, respectively - Ekans looks like a large purple cobra, and Weezing is one of the abstract types, slightly resembling a levitating water mine, with a skull-and-crossbones graphic below a kind of 'face'), they all decided to band together. At first, Meowth tried to command Ekans and Weezing to attack the other Pokemon, but they refused, saying that they would only obey their masters. After Meowth said that they didn't need their masters to do bad things, Ekans said something to the effect that the Pokemon creatures don't do bad things - the masters that command them do. This, I found enlightening. They lit a fire, and had a little camp-out. During this time, many of them (especially Bulbasaur) expressed their fears about being abandoned by their masters; several of them actually cried bitterly about it, including the bad guys' Pokemon, which I thought was infinitely touching. After many adventures, everybody was reunited, and so the episode ended happily, as they usually do. The second episode ('Who Gets to Keep Togepi?') was also informative; in it, I learned the genesis of the unusual Pokemon character, Togepi (which looks sort of like a anthropomorphic white cabbage, that has only partially hatched from an ostrich-sized Easter egg), which Misty always carries around, and fawns over. After Team Rocket stole the egg from Ash and his friends, Meowth 'mothered' it constantly, which was totally entertaining to watch, because there were a few scenes where Japanese motifs prevailed, and this lent an air of Asian culture to the story. --- io.log They won't make it Fri Oct 8 1999 When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything begins to look like a nail. Yeah. I think that the symbolism of certain events described in the Bible should be carefully considered. I think that the story of God and Moses leading the Israelites out of bondage, and safely across the Red Sea, should be considered very carefully. The subsequent drowning of the pursuing Egyptians, is especially interesting. The incredible complexities of this age haven't altered the psycho-spiritual situation much. There still appears to be a rift that divides the world into two primary types: people that know the true God, and they who don't. I am sure that this kind of statement would probably intensely aggravate a dedicated crowd of humanists, especially the types that want all people to completely accept the traditions and modes of worship of all cultures. I am merely speaking what I sincerely believe to be the truth. I know for sure that Almighty God is real. Soon, everyone will. Even though I cannot provide all of the exact details about the Lord's Kingdom, I know that it exists, because of what happened to me, after my soul left this body. I have only read a few dozen accounts written by others, concerning near-death and out-of-body experiences. Some aspects of what others describe match with my particular 'trip,' and others do not. One main difference, is that almost every account that I have read describes a kind of tunnel, that one is drawn through, and a light that appears at the end of it. Also, a rushing sensation is often described. Neither of those apply to my experience. After being ensconced within what seemed to be a spirit that gathered me up, I had the peculiar feeling of being almost motionless, while all of the space around me seemed to move. This was especially noticeable just after I was lifted up above the planet. Earth, and all of the surrounding space smoothly scrolled away to the left, and, as I have already described at least once elsewhere in these files, what seemed to be another world appeared below me, from the peripheries to the right. I have experienced a lot of confusion over just what this phase of my experience meant. There have been times when I have felt very strongly that transference to another physical planet was involved, and that it was very likely one of the bodies orbiting within our own solar system, with perhaps a vast time-space differential being involved in the transit. At other times, I have felt significant doubt about the place being a physical world, because of my remembrance of the unbelievably powerful spiritual radiance there. I can only recall a few brief moments, but they are truly unforgettable. A very big part of why I am so upset with what is happening here spiritually, is because I have the other realm to compare this shabby age to. Others are satisfied with this evil atmosphere, simply because they don't know what a really great aura prevails in the righteous areas of heaven. If more people knew, there would be much less of that insane foolishness going on. It is really hard for me to understand how the errant angels could have consciously decided to forfeit their places in such a wonderful place as the one that I was shown. Probably, many of them were tricked by Satan and his cronies into departing from heaven, and descending to Earth. Probably, most of them deeply regret it, by now. There are so many different theories that I have about the interaction between fallen angelic and demonic spirits with human beings - I really don't feel that it would be helpful to relate any of them now; thousands of other people have written libraries worth of books detailing what they think has been (and is) happening, and I wouldn't be so vain as to think that all of my opinions are entirely correct. I wish that I understood it all perfectly, but I certainly don't. I just know that the Lord's enemies are very, very dangerous, and that humans that think that they can fiddle around with them for fun, or for any other reason, are tremendously stupid. They are totally evil beings, that are instrumental in the destruction of many souls. To simplify (I love simplifying things) one set of slightly unique theories that I have, I will say that I strongly suspect that there are other life forms and civilizations existent in this solar system, but that they appear to be removed from this particular time-space locality by vast stretches of time, as well as space. One way that I have tried to describe this to others, is by analogizing the life-cycle of our solar system to the playing of a vinyl LP record. The album would symbolize the entire history of our solar system, the needle would represent a particular segment of time - the 'now,' and each of the songs would be a life cycle that might involve different planetary members and/or their respective satellites. The dead space between songs, would represent periods when the solar system would have no bodies capable of supporting physical life. The spindle would be the sun, the main constant, central to all ages of physical life. Depending on the varying output of the sun in different aeons, various planets and/or moons might be suitable for terra-forming, and the Lord might (as is described in Genesis) dispatch a group of Elohim to that particular time-space locality, to initiate a living world. Whether or not entirely different physical and biological types might be employed in the construction of such, would likely depend on factors like gravitational and magnetic fields, prevalence of various chemical compounds, etcetera. I can easily imagine that the basic physical forms of life could be modified to adapt to many kinds of conditional variations. Since the Lord has created this universe, and knows everything about space, time and eternity, it follows that His servants that are stationed above us (loyal angelic orders) would probably have greater mental and spiritual capacities than we do, and would have a consciousness somewhere midst the Lord's and ours. In other words, they might be able to think, reason and act outside of the space-time constraints that we are confined to. A simple way of considering this possibility, is to imagine having a mind that can be in two or more places and/or times at once, and process all of the information without any confusion. This shouldn't be too difficult for anyone to imagine (in the spatial sense, at least) at this point, because of the broad array of long-range communications options that we now enjoy. Communicating with people on the exact other side of the planet, is a little like being in two profoundly different places at once, because opposite times of day would be involved. Considering a single consciousness that can span what might seem to be forbidding spans of time, might take a greater leap, for some folks. --- rosebush.log Leave your worries behind Sat Oct 9 1999 What about the concept of the gift of tongues from the Holy Spirit? I do not belong to a Pentecostal church, so I can't really speak with much authority about what their various sects believe, exactly. However, I do sincerely believe that the gift of speaking in completely unknown languages is very real, though I must add that I believe that the truest examples of such phenomena are very rare. Another, more technical word for the gift of speaking in tongues is 'glossolalia.' There have been times, especially when I have been very sad, that I have felt that I was 'in touch' with cultures and intelligences that didn't at all seem familiar. The weirdest experiences I have had, along these lines, have to do with music, and singing in particular. There have been several different musicians and musical groups over the years, that have occasionally brought a very altered set of perceptual modes to my mind. Whenever those moments would occur, it sometimes felt as if my mind and brain were being totally reconfigured, into another, more exotic and complex psychological arrangement. During these times, my attempts at singing and composing music often became very natural and unimpeded. Although I don't even consider myself to be a musician in the strict sense of the word, I feel that I have some sensitivity to particular forms of musical aesthetics. When these unusual psychological states would manifest, I became even more attenuated, and the flow of creativity occasionally was very startling to me. I guess a really big part of being able to create successful music (or decent art of any kind, for that matter), has everything to do with being very emotionally sincere - no matter what set of emotions one is working with. Music has almost always been an important part of my life, and I have often wondered about some of the deeper mysteries of what makes a particular song or genre of music, more appealing to an individual than another. The outer level answers to questions like this are pretty straightforward: a certain song appeals to a person because it somehow represents, via lyrical forms and/or tones and chords, something that resonates emotionally with the listener. But what about the deeper reasons why people get obsessed with certain songs, bands, genres, artists, etcetera? Why do some people play a song or album over and over, until it drives any people that reside with them absolutely mad? I have done this myself, and I still don't have a clear answer as to why that is so. One reason why, may have to do with the spiritual realm, and the various intelligences that float around in it. Throughout the years, I have heard a few ministers and Biblical scholars explain that the archangel Lucifer (who, after his rebellion against the Lord, became known as Satan, which means 'adversary') was once a kind of director of worship of the Lord in the heavens. Somewhere in the Bible, he is referred to as the 'cherub who covers,' or something like that. This, I have been told, means that he was directly involved in operations very close to the throne of the Almighty. Since the loyal hosts of heaven are often described as being engaged in giving glory to God, some scholars seem to believe (probably correctly) that there must be some form of musical expression, perhaps symphonic, that accompanies such devotional worship. Further, many seem to believe that, as a leader of worship, the one-time archangel Lucifer must have been a conductor, or musical director of some sort. Descriptions of angelic trumpet-blowing in the Bible may lend some credence to this. Although I cannot recall any explicit mention being made in the Scriptures of heavenly music being produced, I personally have had a few brief experiences, that indicate to me that there is some kind of musical activity happening in the heavenlies. I won't provide details of those experiences, because I already have (well, for one instance) elsewhere in these files. The point that I am trying to make, is that if Satan actually was involved in actually producing music that was being used to help glorify the Lord, he must have been, and probably still is, a musical genius of sorts. The Bible tells us that he was a practically perfect being, in all ways, until error was found in him by the Lord. So, in his now-fallen state of being, he must be applying that musical ability to destructive ends. Many things about the way that American culture has flowed over the past few decades strongly suggests to me that popular music is a very big part of the devil's programme of spiritual destruction on this particular continent, as well as elsewhere in the world. I am not going to exhaust myself, by trying to provide every last detail of what I mean, because any fool can see that the greater portion of modern pop music in bristling with sinister vibrations of all kinds. The prevalence of lust, violence, etcetera, in many modern music videos pretty much says it all. An important thing that I would like to know the truth of, is whether or not Satan and his angelic host were able to develop an isolated 'culture' of their own, in some area of the heavens, after rebelling, and before losing the war against the Almighty, and being cast down to Earth. If so, it would explain a lot of things, like why our cultures and technologies have shifted so dramatically over the course of this century. --- calliope.log There will be a quiz Tue Oct 12 1999 I keep thinking about that Chinese teacher from my Leif Erickson third grade class. Actually, I believe that the lady was a substitute teacher, but one that stuck around for more than a month or so. She was very large and mean-looking; I can almost see her scowling face right now. She was always spanking the same little boys, over and over again. Although I can't recall exactly what any of their particular infractions were, they probably deserved the punishments, because that class had a lot of rotten kids. We were on the side of the main school building, in one unit of a bank of those large trailer classrooms. It was often pretty cold, and there was vermin. Once, an exterminator came, and sprayed the room with a bug-killing compound that smelled just like pink bubble gum. Everyone was drooling, because most kids are almost always thinking of sweets. That same day brought another round of whackings; the teacher made sure that her labor of love was carefully combined with a programme of psychological terrorism: she had a very coarse and low-pitched voice, one that quickly struck deep fear into the hearts of every junior miscreant that crossed her will. A scary lady. Ah, I do recall one reason why a series of reprimands were meted out. There was a large construction site across the street, and before class began, several boys would scramble around in a very large pit that had been excavated for the purpose of creating a foundation and basement area for a new building. A rich vein of orange-brown clay had been revealed, and some of the kids gathered large globs of it, during a time when our class had a papier mache art project going. The kids that added the clay to their projects were bragging about how tough their creations were, but after our teacher found out, another session of wooden paddle punishments began. She was really harsh. I also remember that one of the clay-enriched projects was a bust of an eagle, which the teacher may have confiscated, though I can't say for sure. --- pretzel.log I sits and I thinks Wed Oct 13 1999 I have decided to write a few lines about some of the beliefs that I have; they are not going to be arranged in any particular order. I really believe that God is the only perfectly unified reality that there is, and that all other things are expressions of the Lord, and subordinate to Him. Nearly all of observable reality is binary and cyclical in nature - but the Bible tells us of the Lord, that 'there is no shadow of turning in Him.' This must mean that He doesn't fluctuate, as we do. My observations indicate to me that all organic life involves a balance of the dual nature of material reality: liquids and solids; heat and cold, and on. For most living forms, the preponderance of the balance is towards the lower scale of matter, meaning liquids, base elements and compounds. I believe that there may be (in the 'official' sense) undiscovered classes of life that incorporate completely different biological schemes; some of these hypothetical lifeforms may tend more towards the electrical or fiery and gaseous ends of the material spectrum, or maybe there are other, entirely novel compositional schemes for them. I know for certain that immaterial forms of 'life' exist, but I still do not completely understand their genesis and nature. Getting the scientific world to finally recognize, understand and classify those forms of life, may well be the key to revolutionizing our comprehension of some very important truths, pertaining to rifts between the spiritual and methodological views of the ultimate meaning and purpose of life. For instance, the religious or mystical concept of generational 'curses' being imposed upon individuals, families, cultures, nations, etcetera, is almost utterly unacceptable to nearly every member of most scientific organizations. However, if it could be conclusively proven that there are indeed, classes of non-organic life that would be the arbiters of the continuation of said curses over the course of long periods of time, then the gap between religion and science would shrink that much more. If the reality of the existence of intelligences such as Beelzebub, Leviathan, et al, was proven, much of the mystery of the many irrational aspects of human life would be cleared away, and the light of greater truth would shine upon us. It is my contention that current human civilizations are heavily beset with all manner of weighty spiritual burdens, that largely seem to be the accumulative results of various classes of ancient spiritual errors and curses: I assert that if these curses and errors were better understood, and attended to properly, or prevented from manifesting in the first place, we would have far less to worry about, as regards the unfolding of future events. Unfortunately, from what I have learned, there are societies of ill-intentioned people, who, throughout the history of the world, have advantaged themselves by exploiting their greater understanding of the unseen orders of intelligence. They have often used their knowledge to insure that they were able to situate themselves in positions of favor, while causing much misery and disorder to prevail amongst many classes of people that were less 'in the know' about the complexities of the unseen spiritual realities. These people, of course, persist to the present day, and by my estimation at least, are more devastatingly destructive and vile than ever before. Many of them masquerade as benevolent protectors of civilization, but in reality, they often are sinister and depraved individuals. Speaking out against these craven wolves can be a very dangerous prospect at times, but, if we are to hope for any kind of peace to settle upon this frustrating age, there is no doubt that we must raise our voices against them, and their evil practices. Above all, we must seek to enlist the help of Almighty God, and the loyal angelic host of heaven; if the Lord will expend energy to support this cause, good results are assured. If He will not help us, we will only have misery and chaos to look forward to. Of this, I am sure. If the activities that promote the worsening of the aforementioned spiritual errors do not cease, particularly where intersections between world states and systems of spiritual error are concerned, the result will be the catastrophic destruction of this age, and all of the souls that subscribe to ungodly modalities. There will be no more pleading with the flesh of this age by the Lord - He will usher in the righteous age that has been promised, and people it with the souls that he has chosen. This would mean, I believe, that an incredible number of souls currently dwelling on Earth would lose their opportunities for the salvation that God has been constantly offering us, via Jesus Christ. God will eventually lose His patience with us. I feel that there are two basic types of societal evil: that of warfare and conquest, and the other type, that seems to involve things like revelry, debauchery and dancing. Most people seem to have a much more intense disdain for one or the other; this may have everything to do with the culture and nurture that was experienced during the period of one's youth. I, for instance, feel much more uneasy about certain aspects of chaotic revelry. Fairly recent negative experiences, have a lot to do with a kind of consolidation of my sentiments against extreme forms of 'celebration,' but I have felt very suspicious about people that have a certain kind of sneaky (and highly social) mentality for most of my life. I am not saying that I have extremely fond feelings for bloody conquest, but, compared to the evils of extremely chaotic and sinful social interactions, war seems much saner. One big problem, is that warfare, in today's world, is far more destructive than ever before, even waged on a small scale. Consequently, many people seem to be more in favor of the perpetuation of certain classes of traditional social evils, because there is a widespread belief that they result in social democratization, and an abhorrence for warfare, which, as I have implied, waged past a certain point, could end everything for everybody. Thus, the 'cult of war' has waned considerably (at least on this continent) over the course of the twentieth century. In many circles, one simply is not at all welcome, if one vaunts an opinion even remotely supportive of violent social solutions of any variety. Such attitudinal positions are highly frowned upon. I have often wondered if this is because of the practically complete dominance of the American college culture by fraternal organizations that promote social activities that are conducive to a certain mindset. This very well could be the case. Meaningless violence is never a good thing, but I believe that a reasonable and balanced view of life simply cannot exclude all aggressive behavior from the reality of human existence. We can't all be girls. Sometimes, it seems that the halls of higher learning want to crank out nothing but a bunch of spiritually emasculated geeks. Another thing. Although I don't feel like a particularly good example of a well-balanced, accomplished American male, I would like to say that being a man shouldn't be all tied up in concepts of violence and aggressive behavior, either. Responsibility (which is one area where I am currently very weak) is a very admirable trait for men to possess. Honor, chivalry and noble intent in general are others. Almost nowhere are these traits found as the base of an American male image. Men, especially father figures, are generally typified as inept, lecherous buffoons on most popular television sitcoms. No wonder that this is what many of them have actually become. Feh. Decent, respectable images of men are in short supply. Goofiness reigns supreme. About the new dance craze: I worked in dance nightclubs on and off over the course of the late eighties and early nineties, and got to see a whole lotta shakin' boodie. I really believe that at the most innocent level, dancing is a kind of 'playtime' for grown-ups, and at the baser, nastier levels, almost like a form of witchcraft, involving literal spiritual possessions. Anyone that has spent even a modest amount of time in dance halls probably understands exactly what I mean. I believe that ritualism involving dancing and fornication comprises a very important aspect of the lower forms of evil, while certain types of violence and warfare make up the higher variety. The big paradox, is that, like the yin-yang symbol, each contains the seed, or 'germ' of the other. To me, rituals of wicked violence match the Biblical symbolism of the 'beast,' and those of fornication, the 'whore.' Again, there are many levels of paradox involved in the way that I have tried to approach an understanding of these basic engines of error - war and sex. I am often reminded of the animal kingdom, and the constant fighting within it that involves food, survival and procreation. Even some of the littlest members of the insect world have some frighteningly savage conflicts over meals and sex. Nearly everyone knows about the female praying mantis bug, which decapitates the male, and greedily devours his head, all while engaging in the act of procreation. Grisly. A good nature documentary on insects will enlighten you much further about the little critters. Even though the symbolism of the beast and whore seem to, in many respects, skip along hand-in-hand, really, it appears to me that they are almost completely at odds psycho-spiritually. Another deep paradox that I have detected, is that (regarding the enmity between the seed of the woman, and the seed of the serpent) the archetype of the snake or dragon appears to fit the symbol of the beast, but in another sense, of the whore. And, the same seems to hold true for the children of the woman. In other words, they that are of 'the seed of the woman' seem to hold the banner of the serpent highest, in many instances. A true, and very confounding paradox. And many members of the serpent tribes seem to be some of the most dedicated whores. If we consider the beast to be on the right side of the political spectrum, and the whore to be on the left, maybe this is why we are told in the Bible not to turn to the right or left. I don't believe that either of those ways are correct. The errors of the high-minded and of the low-minded are both evil. The rise and fall of world civilizations appears to be largely predicated on the predominance of one or the other of those two basic polarities: the cults of war and of pleasure are much alike in certain respects, but very different in others. That is the basis of all of the permutations of human political systems, all throughout our history; the tug of war between those two primary ways of manipulating and managing human affairs - war and sex. The infinite blending of those polarities, in tandem with higher, more complex ideals, philosophies and religious systems, has created the real cultural essence of many of the world's modern nations. I have noticed that when one polarity gains the upper hand, the other almost always suffers to some degree. This suffering, at the very least, involves a discrediting of the philosophical ideals of the other. --- onion.log Tra la la Thu Oct 14 1999 Today, the character Jigglypuff made another special guest appearance on a Pokemon episode; once again, it sang it's little sleep-inducing song. The small creature always appears clutching a microphone in it's right paw. It is so cute, and the little voice and song that accompany it, really evoke some strange emotions in me. Another interesting thing about Jigglypuff, is the fact that it looks at ordinary scenes, and through the crucible of imagination, transforms them into fabulous stage settings, which it obviously desires to perform upon, because the glassy-eyed look that it gets when this happens, strongly indicates it to me. When the bright-light stage mirage disappears, and the ordinary scene returns to view, Jigglypuff's little face (really, it's whole body is sort of like a kitten's face, with small arms and legs) swells up into a bloated mask of anger and frustration, and it mumbles in a disturbed voice: 'Puff, Puff.' Well, today Jigglypuff actually got to sing it's lovely song once again, and (as usual, I assume) it put everyone in the area into a deep slumber, saving Ash from the clutches of something called an Aerodactyl (an 'extinct' Pokemon, that our heroes discovered still alive, in an underground cavern, along with some other very peculiar thingies). The song sounds somewhat like a lullaby, with some kind of hollow-sounding electronic effect applied to it. The concept of Jigglypuff really appeals to me. There is another character with a similar name (but with a different visage) that appeared in another episode, a few days ago. Any Pokemon fan would know that I am talking about Wigglytuff, who is also intriguing, and has a story very different from Jigglypuff's. They both share a similar type of squeaky little voice. I am a big fan of them both! --- aorta.log Is it soup yet? Fri Oct 15 1999 What would things be like, if we were able to have Jesus as our president? I really wonder just what kinds of changes would be made. There are so many different angles that I could approach this idea from, I really don't know which one to consider first. Really, I shouldn't even hypothesize about Jesus being the president of the United States, because all of us that are Christians know that He is going to be Lord of the entire world - it might be almost disrespectful to envision Him as only the chief of this nation. Yes, well then, let's consider what might happen if Moses were made our new president, after the return of Jesus and the saints of God to Earth. How would our culture be altered? Would all alcohol, tobacco and firearms be prohibited? Might spiritually objectionable art and musical forms be banned, or suppressed? The shutting down of gambling casinos, porn shops and other emporiums of wickedness would likely occur, I believe. Would there be a long period of confusion, while all of the changes took effect? What could the people of the United States expect? Of course, this assumes that there would be a United States left, after the tribulation period. What most people don't, and probably cannot realize, is that there would be very little protest over most of these changes, because, along with the arrival of Christ and the saints of God, there would be an incredibly powerful spiritual force of renewal, that just can't be experienced in this dark time. I felt it myself, during my near-death experience, and as a result, I know how extremely pitiful the energy of this age is. After these people finally understand the tremendous difference between the undiluted energy of the Lord, as opposed to the lukewarm positive radiations that we occasionally feel now, there will be no turning back for most. An invitation to examine some pornography, or to engage in some other type of sinful acts, will likely sound as pleasant as jumping naked into a fetid swamp, and flailing about with the frogs and toads. There is a huge change coming, and it isn't too far ahead of us. --- llyr.log Don't worry if it's not good enough Sat Oct 16 1999 Yesterday morning, I saw a giant Jigglypuff; it appeared in yet another Pokemon episode that had an archaeological theme. This time, Ash and Brock were waging war on the side of a mountain, with Pikachu and Vulpix, when something happened (I can't recall what exactly, at this time), and part of the mountain slid away, revealing an ancient temple. A young female archaeologist character (with a bad French accent) quickly appeared before the kids, and began to talk excitedly with an older professor about her theories concerning an ancient civilization that venerated Pokemon. After a bit of excavation, they discovered some kind of Psyduck fetish, which Brock said something sarcastic about; they also found several other items, including a stone tablet covered with peculiar scrawlings, and something that resembled a large, ornate spool. Also, a sort of spoon was found, that matched the spool. The cryptic tablet, once deciphered, prophesied about 'dual forces of destruction' that would be unleashed to destroy everything, and some other yim-yam along with that. Anyhow, all of this led to a weird series of events where two gigantic Pokemon appeared, and began to furiously battle, using special psychic powers. There was a huge Gengar (which is a stepped-up Haunter character - it looks like a little black monster, with glowing red eyes), that emitted dark radiations, and a creature called an Alakazam (which resembles a yellowish, sly fox sorcerer with a Fu-Manchu mustache; it develops over time, from the Abra and Kadabra stages - I really know my stuff), which held two spoons together, and radiated bright lines of force. The two of them, and their energies seemed deadlocked in a standoff of sorts, when suddenly, Jigglypuff appeared. The frightened onlookers strongly encouraged the critter to do it's thing, and it quickly obliged. After singing a bit of it's song, Jigglypuff got flicked far, far away (the way Team Rocket often does) by one of the jumbo duo. Everyone sighed, and Ash said something to the effect that Jigglypuff was just too small to have the usual sedative effect on the battling giants. Then, a thunderous noise was heard, and an enormous Jigglypuff appeared, bearing unusual markings, and carrying what seemed to be an ancient, strangely stylized microphone. It sang, in very slow, low-pitched tones, and the baddies were vanquished. One thing that I forgot to explain about Jigglypuff, in the other files where I have made mention of it, is that after the song is finished, it invariably looks around, and sees that everyone has fallen asleep. This usually angers it, and it subsequently does a very funny thing. It pulls the bottom from the microphone that it carries, and it becomes a fat-tip marker, like the ones that graffiti artists use. It swiftly dashes about, and draws various things on the faces of the slumberers. This time, I think the giant Jigglypuff only drew on the faces of the gargantuan Pokemon. I don't remember what happened at the very end, but I'm sure that everything worked out swell. --- fjord.log Training is over Sun Oct 16 1999 The alternate universe of Pokemon provides children with some standard conventions of cartoon irrationality (that most of us are very familiar with from other shows), such as intelligent, articulate animals, and antics that defy the regular limitations of our physical world - survival from impossible falls, and creatures that spew flames, or jets of water; but the series also presents some fairly novel approaches to characterization, like the abstract and composite types of Pokemon: Oddish, Weezing, Magnemite and Onix are a few that I can think of at the moment. Oddish is a pale blue vegetable (probably a wild radish), endowed with little feet, that occasionally babbles it's name in a quiet, exceedingly humble voice; Weezing is a kind of flying land mine, that spits out plumes of toxic gas; Magnemite is similarly airborne, but looks more like a second generation video game sprite, with magnets for appendages; the Onix is a large, snake-like creature, that appears to be made of boulders - it burrows into the ground and quickly pops up elsewhere. I am sure that one of the most popular characters of the composite type, is Bulbasaur, who is a little dinosaur that has a plant (featuring prehensile vines) growing from it's back. Strangely enough, such a highly unlikely creature is very well liked - the energy level always seems to rise, when some of the more unusual Pokemon creatures, like Bulbasaur, appear. People that are familiar with role-playing games (of both the written and computer varieties) may be acquainted with some of these types of deeply odd characters, but children's' television (in America, at least) has been largely devoid of them; the standard talking animals, humanoid animals, and robotic beings have pretty much been it, for a long time. Perhaps stodgy boards of directors for television networks have repeatedly turned down some of the more bizarre concepts brought before them. It is nice to finally see a few anthropomorphic radishes and land mines in the mix. To me, the Pokemon creatures are symbolic anagrams of a certain type of quixotic creative nature, evidencing all at once balance and paradox, the obvious and the subtle. Each one of them, and the story that goes along with it, seems to be a sort of crystallization of reflective poetic thought, kind of a amalgam of selected emotions and attitudes. There are aspects of their composition that evoke memories of other famous collections of children's' characters, such as the Moomins of Tove Jansson, and the wide variety of interesting and unusual beings created by C. S. Lewis, for the Narnia series of books. Even some of the other Pokemon, that are constructed using a more standard mold for animated characters, are strange and emotive, resonating with sets of powerful spiritual frequencies heretofore unknown, in my world, at least. This has been, and still is, very puzzling to me, and I have been trying very hard to figure out what the deepest, most arcane mysteries of the Pokemon phenomena are. It hasn't been easy plumbing the depths of all things Pokemon, because there are so many different elements to the craze. As I have previously mentioned, I believe that a very big part of the creators' formula of success for the television show, has to do with their liberal employment of palettes of emotion that are normally considered to be risky to use in kids' programming. They very often render extremely schmaltzy, tear-jerking scenes that involve some of the silliest creatures. I'll bet that there are some very special ladies (and probably some nice gentlemen, as well) that are directly responsible for that. Probably, the fundamental 'secret' of the wild success that the show has enjoyed, is that the producers have been able to convey the impression that the characters actually care about each other. The power of this, is particularly evident in the loyal friendship between Ash and the feisty Pokemon mouse, Pikachu. But there are so many other unusual strengths in the show, like the fact that Ash, Brock and Misty are often soundly defeated in their Pokemon battles - often, two or three continuing episodes are required for them to finally achieve victory over various adversaries. Their constant defeat mirrors the experiential ratio in many lives of defeat versus victory, which, for most of us, I believe, heavily leans in favor of defeat. I know that this helps the viewers to better sympathize with the characters. The Pokemon creatures are almost all very simple and easily understandable at a base level, but many of them have peculiar idiosyncrasies that can only be learned over an extended period of viewing the show. Jigglypuff would be a case in point, regarding it's unusual behavioral routine, which I have extensively outlined in several other files. Fascinating. What is so lovely about all of this to me, is that I can imagine tiny children actually having fairly complex discussions about the Pokemon pantheon, featuring statements like: 'The drool that Gloom dribbles is actually a nectar that it uses to attract prey,' and a reply like: 'Yes, and did you know that Gloom is a second-stage Pokemon that evolves from little Oddish?' To think of simple characters like the Pokemon creatures causing so great a commotion amongst the kids of America is really interesting to me, because I really feel that there is something very important about anything that large amounts of children exhibit a fervent interest in. I am still baffled about certain facets of the phenomenon, but I am getting a better grasp on it, daily. The first of three Pokemon movies is going to debut in the US next month, on November twelfth. I am really looking forward to it. --- cheese.log Smile for the camera Mon Oct 18 1999 Concerning the symbolic meanings of the beast and the whore: I feel that the boiled-down essence of those two archetypes are fascism and hedonism. Again, there are many paradoxes involving the two, that can be found by the seasoned philosophical mind - overlaps and contradictions that can make it confusing and extremely difficult to successfully pin down the true nature of either of them. Basically, I believe that they are the twin pillars of the 'low road,' so to speak - the path that moves away from the true God, and towards darkness and oblivion. There always seems to be a dual nature to things involving a descension of any kind. Many thinkers would like to believe that the warlike frame of mind is the path that leads to enlightenment; also, believe it or not, there are many that feel that hedonism is the direction that leads to ultimate truth. Most people will assume that a person that speaks against one of those columns, is in favor of the other, to some degree, at least. I, personally, do not feel that either of those archetypes are roads that lead anywhere worth going. From experience, I have learned that both avenues will lead the true believers that trod upon them down to the horrors of the pit. The wise man Solomon spoke of vanity as the chief evil, being involved with and incorporated into every variety of sin and vice. Both hedonism, and the mindset of fascism are forms of extreme vanity. The primary difference between the two, is of the orientation, or directional impetus, of the force involved. Fascism is a sort of high intellectual vanity, while hedonism is a low and, of course, sexual, form of vanity. I like to symbolize fascism as an upright light bulb, and hedonism as a pear - they adequately illustrate the concept of the high and low directional energies involved, as well as harmonies with other abstractions, such as nature and science. Really, fascism is like a burnt-out light bulb, and hedonism, a rotten pear. The list of evils that can be attributed to war and lust is a long one. The two of them seem to be responsible for much of the large-scale damage that has been done over the course of our beloved twentieth century, as well as all throughout the history of the world. To my mind, they are both wrong ways. --- cedar.log Knows where we've been Tue Oct 19 1999 I wonder where the very deepest underground waterways are. I believe that the Marianas trench (which is probably in the Atlantic ocean, but maybe not) is one of the deepest areas of any ocean. I don't know if they have yet sent diving bells to the very lowest places in the oceans - the pressure may well be too much for even the toughest of them to handle. What kinds of creatures can live down there? Very strange fish, with tentacles tapering to incandescently glowing nubs, do. I am told that when those fish are brought up to the surface, their bodies decompress, and turn into a sort of mushy jelly, because of the extreme difference in pressure - their adaptation to those extremely low depths has made them completely unable to cope with the environment of the shallower waters. In a way, I think certain types of people are like that too. Some folks just can't handle extreme stress, or sadness, or even joy. I guess that such individuals just can't adequately process, or easily adapt to mental, emotional or spiritual energies far out of the range of parameters that they are accustomed to. Those deep-sea fish, and their inability to deal with shallower water-pressure is a very awkward analogy, to be sure, but I think that there is a small something to it. --- arc.log All the tails stopped wagging Wed Oct 20 1999 Today was somewhat strange in many ways, most of them subtle. I don't have the energy to chronicle exactly what happened - nothing very sensational; I just get the feeling that the Lord has been listening to my prayers, and may be preparing to answer some of them. I hope so, because I have felt intensely agitated over the past four years, and I have been sick and tired of it all throughout. --- flushes.log I want to laugh too Thu Oct 21 1999 Was I ever happy to finally get a decent night's rest; for the first time in a long while, I slept well, and woke up feeling somewhat refreshed and invigorated. Normally, I wake up feeling fairly irritated and unrested. Although I would have a very hard time proving it to most people, I really do believe that some individual or organization has been sporadically bombarding me with some kind of microwave energy device, over the past few years. I have had many indications that this may well be so, most of them being subjective internal events. Some of the evidence has been quite tangible, but again, it would be difficult to prove, because the technical nature of what is happening is so nerve-wrackingly subtle. The thing that really has me convinced, is that many repetitions of the exact same techniques are employed, over long periods of time. If the stuff was always different, I might actually believe that I was having 'normal' psychological problems. I am not; somebody has been trying to manipulate my thoughts and emotions, using extremely advanced psychotronic technology. Certainly, I am not saying that all of my thoughts and emotions have been altered significantly by the bad treatment that I have suffered, but I know for certain that some of my personal feelings of ill sentiment, have been worsened by the aggravation of microwave harassment. It is no joke; the people that are using the mind-machine technology are some real live jerks. I will not bother to describe the wide range of effects that I have endured, because many other victims of this kind of treatment have already written volumes of information, detailing their individual experiences. My grueling ordeal, resulting from the evil application of high-powered satellite technology (possibly also involving some ground-based apparatus) has been very similar, in many respects, to accounts that others have given. Prayer really seems to be fairly effective against most of the psychological and spiritual effects of this miserable technology. Thank goodness that the Lord has provided us with the ability to fight against such wickedness, at least so far. It really is a pity that our state has gotten to the point where people can be terrorized electronically in their homes, and then seem like complete lunatics when they try to describe the horrible situation to smirking authorities, who probably already know all about it. --- fortress.log A bulwark never failing Tue Oct 26 1999 There are so many different facets to the whole matter of spiritual warfare, that it is nearly impossible for me quickly describe and summarize them all; I have had to become familiar with many techniques of spiritual defense over the past few years, and I have been very careful to be sure that none of the methods that I have employed were carelessly occultic in nature. It really is sad to see how many folks invest morbid faith in dead objects, such as talismans, pictures of saints, and even architectural works and alleged holy places - most of these errors are vehemently spoken against in the Bible. I nearly got into a very serious argument with a woman over her insistence on praying over an object, not long ago. Practices that venerate such things as trinkets, religious iconography, groves of trees, landscape features such as hills, valleys and mountains, are largely hold-overs from naturalistic, pagan religions. Not much different from the more directly evil practices of animism and demonism, because evil spirits are very eager to manifest themselves to fools that are willing to bow down to anything spiritually empty and dead. The obvious absence of the creative spirit of the Living God in inanimate objects, especially man-made ones, should be enough to prevent people from stupidly praying to them, but no. It is a doggedly persistent error, one that never seems to go away. Most folks love to attribute mystical forces to plain old matter. The truly dumb people are those that actually invoke demonic or fallen angelic powers. Surprisingly, there appear to many more such people around nowadays, as opposed to several decades ago. I always imagined that the sixties and seventies were the real heyday periods of the many branches of the occult movement in North America and most of the rest of the world, but I now believe that the time we are in now is. I believe this, not only because of the very unusual events that I have experienced over the course of this decade, but because there is an incredibly 'everyday' kind of ambient occultic phenomenology floating around in the air. Many people seem nearly completely zombified by it. There has also been a gradual petrification of certain ethical outlooks, which has probably resulted from the masses realizing the horrific reality of large-scale corruption and psycho-spiritual manipulation. Most people that are remotely aware of the deep complexity of what is happening, probably have completely thrown up their hands in fear, perplexity and disgust. What can the average person do to stop occultic and/or high-tech spiritual evils? Practically nothing, other than to pray against them (which often can be incredibly effective, from what I have learned). We have an awful environment of extreme apathy about such matters; many folks know that the tentacles of the military-industrial complex snake all throughout the world, and that the scruples of some of the people involved in many gigantic corporate combines are often very poor indeed. A lot of wickedness is involved in the fields of medical research, specifically. This I know, because there have been a few times when it has been suggested to me, by various individuals, that there is a very significant amount of involuntary medical experimentation being done, right here in the United States. What is even more horrid than that, is the fact that certain groups of people seem to know a great deal about the reality of such phenomena, and yet do virtually nothing to stop it, or even mildly protest against it. Very sad. In other words, I believe that there are more than a few instances where selected people are being medically experimented on, in many different ways, right in front of the collective face of the general public. And yet, nobody seems to be at all alarmed about this frightening fact. Why? It seems that there are many reasons why, some of them very complex. One of the simpler reasons, is because many of the behind-the-scenes details of the actual experimentation are well obscured, behind a humorous mask of 'fraternal' or 'collegiate' antics. Some of the people that are being led into the pink hand dollar-bill cult traps seem to be somehow linked up to a kind of central monitoring program of sorts, where, very likely, many or even all of their activities and conversations are chronicled, and probably evaluated by teams of 'psychotherapists.' Additionally, programs of experimentation with high-powered satellite, or ground-based directed energy weapons systems may be involved for some victims. If this is actually so, and not just a paranoid daydream, then I would equate such so-called doctors with the very worst of the Nazi war criminals. I could write on and on about the evidence that I have accumulated that strongly suggests that these possibilities are realities, but I won't. The only powerful option against such atrocities that everyone has at their disposal, is prayer. Everyone that cares about these matters, needs to pray constantly against the continuation of involuntary medical experimentation, and the wanton misuse of particle beam weapon technology. --- tangent.log A safari on the ice Wed Oct 27 1999 A basic understanding of the reality of disincarnate spirits, is absolutely necessary, for me to engage in a serious conversation with anyone about spiritual matters. For those that do not believe in, or do not know of the truth of the existence of evil spirits, I advise against trying to acquire technical knowledge via the scores of books that have been written about demonology, and other occultic subjects. There are so many conflicting details concerning the origins and purposes of the evil powers, that one can very easily be led into a state of hopeless confusion. It really is best to bring all of your questions about these arcane matters to the Lord, rather than to search through stacks of dusty tomes, written by all-too-fallible humans. Another thing to remember, is that many such books were written by individuals who were actually suffering from varying degrees of demonic possession themselves. This is very important to keep in mind, because there are such things as psychological and spiritual traps and binds, that are occasionally used by demonic forces, for the purpose of altering the mental states of individuals and groups that they wish to manipulate. Attempting to describe any of the particular methods that I am aware of, would be entirely exhausting for me at this time, so I will save this topic for another file. However, I will briefly mention that there have been a few instances where I have had profoundly strange experiences with certain books. I won't provide the titles of any of them (other than the Bible, which has figured into many weird occurrences in my life), because I sincerely believe that there could have been curses attached to some of them. I know for a fact, that there are people that know exactly what I am talking about. Some books can be so much more than sheets of paper and cardboard. Heh. So, to reiterate, I strongly suggest that anyone that is interested in the existence of demonic powers, steer completely clear of nearly all of the literature that is available on the subject. Approach God in prayer, with your questions, and more likely than not, you'll receive all of the answers and proof that you could ever desire. After you begin to understand the very real nature of the demonic (and, remember, fallen angelic) problems that we are contending with, here on Earth, you will probably need to begin a regular prayer life, because it is likely that demonic forces will begin to try and intimidate you on a regular basis. Sticks and stones won't stop them, and neither will names. Real faith in God is what you are going to need, and you will especially need to learn of the tremendous power that the name of Jesus Christ will give you over the demons and other evil spirits. A good Christian bookstore should be able to provide the curious with decent texts that will provide many details of the demonic realities, although some of them may tend to be a bit oversimplified, as opposed to the secular books, which can often be dangerously complex and inaccurate. Again, the Lord will supply the best information for you, just try to pray as sincerely and fervently as possible, and really listen for any answers that you desire. --- burner.log Pay attention Thu Oct 28 1999 There are a great many basic symbolic theories that I have developed, and perspectives that I feel are at least partially valid, that I have not shared with anyone else. Also, I haven't written many of them out, because I feel extremely aggravated when considering the possibility that I am being spied on. This has really made me feel intensely angry at times. There is no way that I am going to pour all of my energy into describing what I consider to be very important information, only to someday see another person take credit for it. Not only would that be a criminal violation, but a serious spiritual one, as well. Anyone that would try and claim to have authored anything that I have generated would be in for a very big surprise, eventually. If any of my material is ever going to be published, it absolutely must be done under my name, and my name alone - or anonymously, with all copyright privileges remaining with me, alone. After all of the misery and confusion that I have endured, I have come to the conclusion that there is more than a little bit of importance to what it is that I would like to attempt to do. I will not do it unless the Lord will support me in this endeavor, and I will not do it, unless all of the rights to my intellectual properties are secured in my name. These matters are of great importance; keeping our nation, and the rest of the world as free as possible from large-scale Satanic deception should be the foundation of our national (and the world's) security. Unfortunately, it appears that a very powerful contingency of 'dragonaires' has developed all throughout the world, over the course of this century. The 'dragonaires' term that I have just used, is meant to indicate humans that have come under the control of Almighty Lord Yahweh's prime adversaries, meaning, of course, the Dragon and his angels and demons. My experiences have repeatedly shown me that those are the people that are most against the revealing of the greater universal truths, that I strongly believe involves other material (and perhaps, completely spiritual) worlds of life, and spiritual transits between this world and the possible others. As many of us know, combinations involving human, demonic and fallen angelic intelligence wield very great power in the world of today. It has been brought to my attention, in various subtle ways, that there are very likely others that have been on 'trips' very similar to my unbelievable near-death experience back in early 1989. But, somehow, nobody has (at least to my knowledge) conclusively been able to make heads or tails out of whatever the heck these strange paranormal occurrences really mean. I have said many times, that I do not want anyone to think that I have all of the answers to the confounding puzzles that many of us would like solved. I would consider myself a complete fool, if I were to believe that, or try to get others to think so. I know that I have made mistakes, but I also feel that I have discovered (or, in some instances, rediscovered) a few very important truths. I am not looking for fanfare, and the respect of the world, I just want us all to enjoy greater psycho-spiritual health, and to feel more optimistic about the future of the world. If God is willing to help us to correct some entrenched societal patterns of error, this might not be an impossible dream. Many aspects of what it is that I would like to do, in writing a book about my entire set of experiences, would make many people feel incredibly ill at ease. My purpose isn't meant to carelessly disturb people, and make them feel uncomfortable, but this, I believe will be unavoidable, if what I am going to write about is going to have any truly long-lasting therapeutic effect. It must be understood that we are at a point where it seems quite likely that worst-case scenarios could quickly develop, practically overnight, if you catch my drift, and I think that the risk of what that could mean for the world, far outweighs any irritations involved in getting certain arcane truths better understood. One example: it endlessly boggles my mind, that so few people seem to have realized the symbolic connection between the Biblical concepts of the Mark of the Beast and Mystery Babylon, Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth. I have written about these matters extensively in other files, and although I think that some redundancy is a good thing, too much can be annoying, so I won't repeat here, what I've already written. The thing to remember, is the symbolic connection between fornication, the golden cup, the hand, and writings on the forehead. Go read through the book of Revelation, and find out for yourselves. I really believe that there is something to it. Most people that have some knowledge of the existence of the American pink hand fraternal dollar-bill cults of 'tradition,' probably would snicker or blatantly laugh out loud, if it were bluntly suggested by anyone that those ungodly activities were equivalent to the prophesied Mark of the Beast. One of my main objectives, is to get those sorts of people to finally stop laughing about what is a spiritual issue of utmost importance. Whether or not participation in such obviously sinister activities really is resulting in the eternal destruction of souls is a Christian issue of the greatest magnitude. If that 'way' really is the path of the damned, then we should all be very, very worried, as Americans, for the future of this country, because of all of the endless hype that has been used over the years to promote that wicked system. Oodles of people may already be irretrievably lost. Damned forever. Aren't you worried? I am - for others, because I simply will not accept that devilish beast-mark. We have been told that the Mark of the Beast is to be eventually imposed upon all of the people in the world - rich and poor, bond or free; so, if it is at all possible to accurately identify and bring to a complete end, the social machinery that would be required to do such a thing, as Christians, this is what we should be fervently hoping and praying for. Otherwise, all we have to look forward to, is a future even more filled with oppression and injustice than what we are already enduring. You can take that to the bank. The toehold that Satan has always had on the affairs of this nation and world, has developed to a frightening degree. It now seems entirely possible that our nation will ultimately be overrun by the very worst kinds of spiritual sensibilities and imperatives. Whatever further types of systematic evils the Satanic community wants to impose upon the flaccid general public, will be forthcoming, unless these people that claim to be the loyal followers of Jesus Christ, begin to do something to stop the demonization of things, at all levels. I feel that the best way to begin, for everyone interested in a saner, safer immediate future, is to develop a very serious prayer life. Your pwetty head is at stake. Very much so. A little bit of nonsense and levity, every now and then, can be extremely healthful and uplifting. Too much mirth, on the other hand, can be very disturbing and maddening. From my perspective, many of the people of this nation have stumbled down some very dark passageways, into the dimly-lit halls of black humor. Even a few grim laughs, here and there, aren't all that bad - but every day, all of the time. I think not. I really wish that more people would see things from my perspective. If that were so, at least concerning the matter of the fraternal evils, I really do believe that this would be a better, happier nation and world to live in. --- romance.log When the moon's in your eye Fri Oct 29 1999 I have learned, throughout the years, that there are a great many instances where demonic forces, often of the most powerful kind, will present themselves to their intended victims via the personality and physical charms of attractive women. I'm sure that evil intelligences present themselves through men as well, but, being a heterosexual male, I have had some incredibly uncanny experiences with the bizarre reality of demonic manifestations involving women. We are told in the Bible, by no less an authority than Jesus Christ, that as men, we are not to fornicate, or even to lust after women - in fact, Jesus tells us that those of us that even look upon a woman lustfully, have already committed adultery with her, in our hearts. In other words, the use of one's imagination to fantasize about women sexually is commensurate with actual acts of fornication. This is a very dismaying thing to realize, because I know that I am often presented with tantalizing thoughts of women on a regular basis, and it can be quite difficult to completely expunge them from my mind. The wearisome fight that many of us, men and women, wage daily against our lower passions, is very frustrating indeed. Especially because we dwell in a society that places such high value on the concepts of eroticism, romance and blatant fornication. Even though we live in a nation that is largely aware of the teachings of Jesus, there really doesn't seem to be much of an emphasis on discouraging sexual activity outside of marriage unions. Actually, it seems that values completely opposing Christ's teachings, are routinely reinforced in the minds of the people. Casual remarks about, and depictions of situations that involve pre-marital sex are all over the entertainment industry. Nobody needs me to provide examples - the network and cable shows and movies are chock full of them. My personal experiences, as regards demonic forces presenting themselves through women, greatly vary, but there are a few commonalties that would be good to mention. Many times, when evil forces that are trying to gain control over a man assert themselves through women, via eroticism, there will be a series of unusual sensations in the lower abdominal and spinal areas, as well as in the genitals (I can't believe that I am writing this, but it seems to be important, so bear with me). That sounds fairly normal, right? What I have noticed, is that if one immediately begins to spiritually move against the lower body sensations, by praying, there will often be a very noticeable negative response in the woman that is the source of the stimulating effects. Most men will usually not do this (including myself), because we are a bunch of starved-for-women louts, and rarely think about the Lord's pronouncements against erotic foolishness. But, on the occasions when an attempt is made to restrain a sexual response, sometimes the demonic force will withdraw to the woman, and present itself in various ways through her personality. Often, the insinuation that a man isn't a heterosexual will be launched against the fellow that has rebuffed the feminine charms of a particularly 'spirited' woman. I have noticed this phenomenon again and again. If the man asserts that, indeed, there is nothing wrong with his nature, then the attempts at spiritual control will usually be resumed, but at a lesser degree of intensity. Now, this might sound ludicrous to a great many folks, but from careful observation over the years, I really believe that demons can leap from one person to another, much as fleas and lice often do, through this lower-body sensual process. But, more important than the need for proximity (as is necessary in the case of the successful transference of insect infestations from one person to another), is the ability to create a kind of ungodly emotional bridge between the already possessed subject, and the new prospect, that an evil force would like to expand into. We are told in the Bible, that a great many demons can reside in a single human body. Similarly (although this may sound unbelievable to many people), I feel that it is entirely possible that groups of demons may be able to control and synchronize the activities of many humans, even if they are separated by vast distances, or don't know the others that are being spiritually manipulated. Part of the reason why we have such an incredibly demonized civilization has to do with the ease with which many demons are able to get very strong holds on their victims. I think I've mentioned this before: when everyone is crazy, the sane seem insane; I believe that is the basic problem - so many forms of sin (that can result in demonization, like fornication) are so well accepted, that most people can't clearly understand what has been happening. Large-scale demonic possession is what has been happening, my friends. And another thing - this seems to be a common occurrence, throughout history, just prior to great wars and other conflagrations. My theory, is that the demonic forces are 'suiting up' for the roles that they are going to play in whatever will unfold in the near future. Some of the evil intelligences are extremely eager to have control over particular personalities, so there are different degrees of spiritual harassment involved. For people that are interested in learning more about demonic attempts at spiritual possession, I suggest that you closely watch all women, especially artists and performers. I definitely feel that if there is to be any significant shift in the moral and ethical dynamics at play in our nation, that key changes in the spiritual and general social view of women, and their functions in society, will have a lot to do with moving the cultural flow in more healthful, safe directions. Women appear to be the bedrock of the moral nature of all civilizations; the common attitudes that are held towards them (by men, and other women) appear to determine the social tempo, and much of the melody of the symphony of cultural ingredients that comprise the greater cultural fusion. The depth of the impact that women, collectively, wield in any given civilization arena, cannot be underestimated. They throw the most emotional weight around. This isn't a simple little attempt to honor women, for the sake of perhaps being seen in a better light by them - not at all. I can honestly say that most of the serious problems that I have had throughout my life, have had women that prominently figured into them, in one way or another. The gallery of woes that women have caused me is pretty amazing. And I have caused miserable problems for them, also. I have gone through various situational hells with certain ladies, and I have learned that their emotional nature is often complicated by evil spiritual associations. I really do believe that demonic possessions can result from basic transgressions like fornication. If I were to specifically describe some of the more hair-raising experiences I have had with certain women, that have brought me to this awareness, some people would definitely think that I was screwloose. Believe it. There are a lot of people, especially 'sexually active' young ladies, that are veritable Grand Central Stations of demonic phenomena. This has been brought home to me, on countless occasions. The unclean spirits of indiscriminate sexual activity aren't at all harmonious with the Holy Spirit of God. Evil spirits are always trying to chip away at the chastity of every member of a Christian society, especially the women. They literally hate 'good girls' (and guys) with a purple passion. The most sound advice that I have for men and women that are sincerely interested in leading chaste, fornication-free (ha!) lives, is to seek out and associate with others that feel the same way. It is too much of an uphill battle to go it alone - the lending of strong support by others is crucial to maintaining this unpopular, more spiritually healthy social outlook. Abstinence will lead many people up out of the pits of demonism. Another very important, related issue: we Christians, if it is at all possible, have got to gain a far more accurate understanding of the many branches of the Satanic 'family,' and what specific parts the different nodes play. From reading the Bible, I have gathered that there are several different groups of Satanic intelligences: one set of evil spirits are restrained underneath the earth, apparently in specific geographical areas (some of them are scheduled to be released during the Great Tribulation, and they will cause fantastic destruction), another group appears to have great mobility upon the surface of the world, and still another subset seems to manifest in more rarefied places, like the upper atmosphere. What exactly all of those different powers of evil represent, and whether or not there are overlaps to the basic types (I have described some that I am familiar with; there may be others), must be important, and I hope that the world at large soon begins to acquire more accurate knowledge about such crucially important matters. I am sure that the highest, most powerful types are the fallen angels, and I believe that nearly all of them that are currently interacting with humans have arrived relatively recently, probably within this century. It would be nice to know if they were cast down from a physical, or purely spiritual locality (or localities) in the heavens, and also, I would like to know what their cultures were like, because I believe that they may have transported much of what it is that they were about in the heavens, down to Earth. --- yam.log None of the above Wed Nov 3 1999 I believe that I have a reasonably good understanding of the political opinions of a great many different types of people. I may not agree with many of the views of others, but in most cases, I have respect for them. When other people begin to indicate to me, in objectionable ways, that they do not feel that I have the right to express my personal opinions, well, that is when I begin to feel deeply offended. The right to be able to freely express one's opinion, on virtually any issue whatsoever, should be a universal, inalienable right that all intelligent (and unintelligent) beings should enjoy. Unfortunately, this often hasn't been the case throughout the history of our world. Oppression has frequently been levied against people of differing views, by tyrannical ruling forces; historical information bears this out well. Without the constant menace of political oppression, entire volumes of Earth history would be missing entirely. I always believed that this nation was the most free state of them all, and that there was practically no political oppression, in the medieval sense, being wielded against anyone at all. Pop - went that bubble; there is an absolutely amazing amount of political coercion being used against many kinds of people in America, and often by some of the most low-life elements of our populace. Although the miserable reality of this problem of political oppression is undeniably real, and blatantly evident (for the people that are 'in the know'), very little or nothing is being done to stop it. Why is this? I have tried to examine and consider the deeply disturbing puzzle of this truism from as many angles as possible. Often, the many paradoxes involved in investigating the kooky weirdness of it all, leaves my mind feeling gaspingly starved for oxygen. It's all too much for my little head. If only I had a more efficient, clever brain, instead of this peanut-munching model. Heh. Thoroughly comprehending the diligently evil nature of mankind can really leave you feeling abysmally sad. At least, it leaves me feeling that way. Some folks seem to feel pretty chipper about life, even though they know full well how many sinister realities lurk. I don't feel that it's at all my job to be a killjoy, but I really believe that more people need to seriously consider the depth of evil in this present age. If we are able to think more clearly about the mechanical intricacies of the machinery of wickedness, a greater awareness of where certain systematic practices of error are taking us, and our civilization, will likely result. This seems to me to be a worthwhile pursuit, for, if we are able to accurately determine where future pitfalls may be on the road of life, we can 'mark them on the map,' and avoid taking a route that would lead us in those hazardous directions. If you were speedily coasting along down a thoroughfare, and suddenly saw a 'bridge out' sign whiz past, wouldn't you quickly slam down on the brakes? I certainly would do that. In many ways, it seems like our nation in particular has had many warning signs flash past it, and yet it not only hasn't hit the brakes - it actually seems as though the gas pedal has been applied. You know, this really doesn't make much sense to me, without considering things from a spiritual perspective. There just isn't any other way to explain rationally why the people of our land continue to eagerly participate in that machiavellian system of abominable 'traditions.' The reality of the existence of demons is the only sane way to make sense of the shameful behavior of the perpetrators of those deeply Satanic practices. But, I am not going to continue along with my complaints, because I really haven't any ability to do much about the situation, besides to pray that the Lord will begin to move upon the masses of people that don't see anything wrong with the zombification of the American people. If God doesn't want them to understand that they are being tricked into hell by Satan, then there is no use in me trying to get them to realize it. I am only so strong, and not very, at that. I just wish that the fools would stop being evil. --- turret.log Too many cooks Thu Nov 4 1999 In the New Testament, there are several passages that describe the various ways that Satan tried to convince Jesus to serve his evil will, rather than that of the Father's. We are given a very good idea of the great significance that even token gestures of acquiescence to the devil may signify, by the fact that Satan, after bringing Jesus to a high place, offers Him the kingdoms of the world, if he only would 'fall down and worship him.' Of course, Jesus did not do that, nor did He fall for any of Satan's other schemes and ploys. He carried out the will of the Father perfectly, as was expected of Him. Unfortunately, we, as imperfect beings, are very often easily duped into all kinds of tricky, rotten spiritual situations. The 'baby' sales approach seems to be a very popular technique that is used by the folks that I like to refer to as the 'devil's handmaidens' - your friendly neighborhood witchcraft and voodoo practitioners. What the shady ladies seem to be doing, has everything to do with creating the illusion of the presentation of a kind of spiritual gifting, with the added allure of material benefits to go along with the 'blessing.' The catch, is that the goodies are only bestowed subsequent to a conscious internal psycho-spiritual agreement by the subject that involves their gradual realization and clear acceptance of the evil manipulations that were imposed upon them whilst they were unconscious, and being zombie-processed by their perverse 'handlers.' The acceptance of such abominations, certainly seems to me to be equivalent to accepting Mystery, Babylon, or the Mark of the Beast. This is the very heart of the argument that I have been trying to put forth for so long. I believe that the individuals that accept those unholy situations have very real demons assigned to them, that increasingly control and torment them, over time. I am trying to warn people in as many ways as possible, exactly why nobody in their right mind should participate in, or tolerate the practice of, in their local communities, those sickening, highly objectionable occultic practices. They are of the devil, plain and simple; if you accept them, you are welcoming Satan into your neighborhood. No joke. --- bingo.log Can't tell 'em nothing Fri Nov 5 1999 In the world of occultism, the contractual acceptance of any one of the various unsavory methods that are used to effect a demonic possession of a human subject, is known as a 'pact of submission.' Apparently, certain forms of such pacts may be enacted on an almost unconscious level, meaning that the submissive human may be virtually unaware of their subjected state, at least for quite some time. This explains to me why there is such an obviously intense degree of demonic manipulation at play in our society, yet so little understanding of the problem. Many people just cannot bring themselves to admit that demons and other evil spirits actually exist, while others very sincerely disbelieve. I am sure that most of the doubters and deniers have never actually seen any evil spirits. I sure have, so I know. --- dindin.log Tasty and good Tue Nov 11 1999 Nyuk. I know one thing that is very wrong with life in modern America; there aren't many really noble causes that people can get involved with. Well, actually there are many small to mid-sized ones, like homeless shelters, Habitat for Humanity, mentoring programs, fund-raising for medical research, and on. But most of those aren't sweepingly urgent, large-scale missions. I have given some thought to helping to alleviate world hunger, by perhaps joining a ministry team that would travel to Africa, India, or wherever else there are hungry masses waiting to be fed. I would like to help, by joining a group that provides relief services, but I know that some of the organizations that do that, are somewhat picky about the people that they select to go along on trips, which I don't at all think is wrong. I might not seem like a really good candidate for such purposes, to many folks. Also, a lot of the people that are involved in things like the Peace Corps, and other relief organizations, are college students, many with four or more years already completed. It isn't all that easy to break into the hunger relief biz, from what I have heard. --- quite.log Go on with your bad self Wed Nov 10 1999 Just thinking about how American pop culture has developed gives me the creeps; actually laying my peepers on it, usually makes me literally nauseous. Seeing how only the very worst aspects of American civilization have been sopped up by the yahoos that are jiggling around in front of the cameras, is very disturbing; a pitiful showcase of shameless, unchecked cultural degeneration, is what I see, for the most part. And how. I wonder what the folks that are pushing that crap think about things like world hunger? Do they care about starving children at all? Probably not. I am sure that they are far more concerned with 'getting they groove on,' than easing the daily sufferings of the world's unfortunates. Filling the bloated, diseased bellies of deserving little children just doesn't seem prudent to them, I suppose. Draping themselves with expensive jewelry, buying fancy fashions, cars, homes and other astronomically-priced material objects is what is good to them. And every single night, you can bet that they are stuffing themselves with the very best food available. Uh-huh. --- sparkle.log Through the valley Mon Dec 20 1999 I have been ill over the past few days; stupid me neglected to use enough blankets, and I went through a teeth-chattering, clammy-chills phase. By the time that [NAME DELETED] provided me with an extra blanket, I'd developed a cold, and have been fighting it off since. It's kind of weird, because I haven't had any colds in years. It gets really icy in this room, and the futon that I sleep on isn't very warm, because it's on the drafty floor. I have to leave off writing these LOG files every now and then; sometimes I just feel too irritated to continue. There are a number of important events that have taken place over the past few weeks that have gone unrecorded. Actually, I have begun to use an alternate method of keeping track of events - the SCROLL.TXT file. Some of the information from the last few weeks is in that file. I am really disturbed about the situation with [NAME DELETED]. I am entirely convinced that something is very wrong in [NAME DELETED]'s household. The really sickening part, is that I believe that [NAME DELETED] either knows about or suspects the same things that I have been, but she doesn't want to do anything about it - probably because she fears that it would jeopardize her relationship with [NAME DELETED]. Since I know how utterly corrupt the law enforcement community and judicial system are, I am entirely depending on the Lord to administer justice to the situation, if my suspicions turn out to be valid. He knows the exact truth, and He is completely righteous. The main reason why I feel that I know something evil has been happening with [NAME DELETED], is because of my perception (through close observation of various personalities within the general media) of 'intelligence gathering' pertaining to my life, and that of certain other family members, such as my daughter. The demented people that are monitoring this household, and [NAME DELETED]'s, seem to know all about whatever it is that has been happening with [NAME DELETED] - something bad; I am very sure of it. And all of the people that are cognizant of whatever variety of evil is being perpetrated against [NAME DELETED], seem to be entirely content to just casually observe, and to do absolutely nothing to stop it. If these perceptions are accurate, I feel that those spy-cultists are truly godless individuals. Obviously, the 'monitoring' that is going on, involves a network of people beyond the regular intelligence community. It seems entirely likely to me that the basic information gathering methods (phone tapping; bugging of walls in homes) may have become a kind of cottage industry for certain unscrupulous people, who, in many instances, might actually be making a considerable amount of money for doing what it is that they do. It's really pathetic to me that our privacy has been nullified, but it's even more sad to consider that the people that are prying into the lives of others have practically no concern for the law, and righteousness in general. --- icy.log It's too thin to plow Mon Dec 27 1999 It is difficult to be very specific about the details of some of the deeply weird psycho-spiritual experiences that I've had over the years. This is usually because of a kind of emotional confusion that often seems to descend upon my mind, as I begin to move towards certain psychological states. It sure isn't easy to make sense of what happens inside of my mind, much less to try and coherently convey it to anyone else. Some internal psychological mechanism seems to make me loathe to even try, really. Often, a sloshing, churning series of mental perturbations begins, followed by a feeling of overlapping and occasionally incongruent memories, and fragments of memories. Sometimes, this will lead me down into a state of melancholy, and the feeling of 'needing a drink' often arrives along with this. An empty, gnawing ache in the stomach area, and a general sensation of alienation and loneliness, completes the basic description of how many phases of strange emotional introspection begin, for me. Then it all becomes spaghetti - meaning, that many different odd emotional journeys can stem from that morose, melancholic starting point. I just can't begin to simply describe what I mean, because the incredibly complicated overlapping of memory patterns is really what prevents me from being able to provide a simpler explanation. I have been amazed to find very intricate, profound symbolic relationships between memories from completely different time periods, involving totally different people, places, etcetera; it really can be uncanny, at times. I am convinced that there is a great amount of deliberate 'engineering' going on behind the scenes, regarding what we take for granted as the flow of our everyday experiences. Why and how I have arrived at the perception of this, is one aspect of what is so aggravatingly difficult for me to accurately describe, at least to my satisfaction. One thing that I must say, is that the vast majority of people seem to be utterly clueless as to the presence of the vast directing intelligence operating in the background of everyday reality. Furthermore, I am convinced that the directing intelligence itself may be largely responsible for keeping the people unaware of its existence, perhaps for purposes of protecting the fragile minds of human wonderers. I believe that the intelligence may be God, or possibly lesser spirits, that are operating under His will. During my near-death experience, I had a brief moment of clarity, where this observing 'background' intelligence that I am describing, came to the fore. It is very real. --- tachyon.log The park is closed Tue Dec 28 1999 I've been having all kinds of peculiar dreams. As usual, there is often an element of familiarity present, in the midst of many unfamiliar faces and imagery. Some of the personalities that are presented seem to be at odds amongst themselves. Things that are identifiable as belonging to the 'real world' are often supplanted by unfamiliar items. For example, in one dream sequence, a line of children's' comic books that exists here, was augmented with a title that I've never seen or heard of before. When I opened the comic, all of the artwork seemed to be done in churning, angry reds and oranges. In another segment, I handed a woman a pair of binoculars (that I'd purchased for her at some point in the dream), and we both looked through them (and another pair) toward the distant horizon. Miles away, across a body of water, we could see what looked like a large-scale battle of some kind taking place. Actually, it somewhat resembled an approaching storm, or the kind of dust and debris that is stirred up when large bombs are being dropped. --- blacktop.log Page after page Wed Dec 29 1999 Things have felt really empty and dead here for me, for quite some time. I feel strongly that I should leave Chicago, but currently, I have very few options to do so. Practically none, really. Here, I must remain, until some opportunity arises that will enable me to travel elsewhere. I am really tired of feeling like a living ghost. Life will be much better for me somewhere else, I am sure of it. --- century.log Zinga zing zang Fri Dec 31 1999 The Y2K scare seems to be no big deal. So far. Earlier today, I watched a really neat PBS show, which featured musical performances from all over the world - Bulgaria, Germany, Venezuela, Ireland, South Africa, Nunavut, and even Antarctica (which I missed, unfortunately). Nearly all of the music and accompanying performances were wonderful. It was great, because the whole thing was almost completely live (there were a few bits of the Irish portion that were pre-recorded), and the segues between the different national segments were extremely smooth - so much so, in fact, that it really seemed more like a pre-recorded show. Pretty neat, considering all of the different time zones that the producers had to work with. Did some laundry this morning, and saw several very pretty girls. I am feeling somewhat more upbeat, and I really hope that the new year brings solutions to at least some of the problems that I have been burdened with. --- nascent.log It's brand new Sat Jan 1 2000 Alright. Century 2000 - cool. But, it really isn't the 'new millennium' yet, because there is no year zero for the Gregorian calendar, which means that technically, the first year of the Anno Domini third millennium should be 2001. This fact was widely discussed throughout all of last year, but nobody paid much attention. Probably, we will all be reminded of it near the end of this year, and another phase of 'millennial madness' will begin. --- zara.log A very complicated escalator Wed Jan 5 2000 I made two fairly nice PWDJ2 booklets a few days ago; I gave them to two women that work at a copy center on Broadway, near Berwyn. One of them, Zara, told me that she'd been seeing a psychiatrist, because of problems with waking up in the middle of the night with voices (and probably images as well - I have had similar experiences) in her head. After returning home, and thinking carefully about it for a few minutes, I decided to bring one for her, because I figured that she might feel relieved to learn about the very real possibility of being victimized by psychotronic technology. The other woman, Marie, is the owner of the business there, and seems to be reasonably intelligent; I'm sure that they both found at least some of the material to be of interest. I think that I'll stick with this booklet format, because I was able to include the fundamental disk operation instructions, complete archive extracts, and several supplemental files, on about 34 pages. I eliminated all of the space inbetween paragraphs, and used a small basic (6 or 7, I think) font size. After installing a brand new printer ribbon on the Panasonic KX-P2123, it produces very acceptable (clear and dark) output, which photocopied perfectly, despite the small letters. It's a weird thing how the beginning of a new year can bring a more optimistic state of mind about. A shabby trick, really, because a calendar roll-over means very little, in many respects. Besides, there are several other calendars (Chinese, Hebrew, et al) in use, so there are numerous other 'new years' to consider. Anyhow, I feel pretty cheerful, which is a welcome change for me, after having felt so glum for so long. --- tundra.log Reading is fundamental Mon Jan 10 2000 A lot of people are going to hell. I have been made very sure of this, over the course of the past few years. What frustrates and infuriates me, is that there is very little that I can do to convince anyone of the reality of the damnation that so many will face, because of their acceptance of the Mark of the Beast, which I believe can also be identified as the 'Mystery, Babylon, Mother of Harlots and Abominations of the Earth' system. I have written about my theories concerning all of this in many other files, so I will try my best not to rehash it all in this one. It just really astounds me to consider how very obviously wrong things are, in a spiritual and cultural sense, and yet how nearly everyone has chosen to completely ignore the underlying evil of this system of things. I just went down to check the mail; I received a letter from the Chinese Mutual Aid Association (via Paul). In the letter, he describes the lady Peggy Cole (that helped start me on my tutoring adventure), as a 'literacy goddess,' which I find very amusing. She is a very appealing person, and obviously extremely literate. They (the CMAA and other social service agencies throughout Chicago that have literacy programs) are having a tutoring powwow next month, at a Vietnamese cultural center on Broadway. I will probably attend, because I feel very strongly that education, specifically concerning general literacy and numeracy skills, is extremely important for improving the lives of all people, especially North Americans, because of the massive shift that has taken place in the labor pool from blue to white collar occupations over the past few decades. Maybe, if more people were aware of the subtleties of Biblical prophecy, and the meanings of some of the original Aramaic, Hebrew and Greek words and terms that Biblical texts were originally written in, there would be a much broader awareness of the kinds of possibilities that exist, regarding life beyond Earth, possible pre-Earth history, time-space travel, etcetera. I know that there are some really interesting segments in other ancient written religious works, such as the Zoroastrian Zend-Avesta, the Hindu Bhagavad-Gita and the Sumerian Epic of Gilgamesh, that seem to indicate that there has been 'action' taking place between the heavens and the Earth for a very long time. If more people would actually study and read the Bible, they would also find that there is a great amount of information about heavenly activities recorded in it, and I definitely believe that the text of the Bible is the word of God, whereas I am not so sure about the truthfulness and authenticity of many other religious and philosophical works. --- genuine.log Don't turn around Tue Jan 25 2000 I must take the time to sincerely apologize to myself for not keeping up with my journal; I have been feeling pretty lousy over the past few weeks, but that's really not much of an excuse. Whenever I find the spiritual strength to do so, I pray fervently. At times, my state of mind can seriously interfere, and prevent me from having an effective time of reflective appeals to God. The greatest problems that I have, revolve around anger and unreasonable feelings of self-righteousness. Reminding myself that there are plenty of examples of angry individuals, that also loved God in the Bible, doesn't help much. Sometimes, it seems like almost anything can produce deep-seated feelings of hostility within my mind, body and soul. The long list of frustrations that I could compile, if I felt compelled to do so, would very likely just irritate me even further. I am extremely glad that the Lord has given me such wonderful self-control. Not only am I angry at various individuals and institutions, but I am also cross with myself, which is probably the most aggravating thing of all, because I really like myself, generally speaking. I am my biggest (only, maybe) fan. Over the past few weeks, I finally downloaded converted ASCII text files of my book of poetry, ¢dhinn Voodoo Buddha. After editing and concatenating them into one file, I have decided to include the OVB e-text, along with a corrected and formatted version of LOG extracts from 1999 (which is what is on my webpage) on the fourth Psionic War Digital Journal disk. You say that your life is gonna make you die? I understand. I know that a great many people are suffering on Earth. Those of us that are Christians are supposed to expect a healthy amount of misery during our little sojourn here; it's just very difficult for me to accept certain forms of deeply unhappy occurrences. I have said many times before, that my personal miseries don't bother me nearly as much as when something is amiss with people that I love. That's when I really begin to feel angry. I don't know exactly how my particular set of situations is going to work out; objectively, things don't look very good. Although I often receive feelings of optimism when I pray, it is hard for me to preserve an upbeat mood for very long. Being surrounded by so much hypocrisy and decadence makes it hard to keep the ol' chin up. What a tiring, draining world. --- thimble.log All rights reserved Thu Jan 27 2000 Wonderful day. Fairly peaceful and pleasant, although my chronic headache has continued along over the course of the past few weeks. I am certain that many, many Americans are going to hell. Even without the important knowledge and basic awareness that I have gathered from my personal experiences, regardless of my opinions, it just seems logical, from a sober, entirely serious Christian perspective. The people are massively brainwashed, and nothing but large-scale tragedy will snap them out of it. Of this, I am absolutely sure. The aura of complete denial pertaining to what has been and is happening, is so incredibly pervasive - it's almost universal, really. It's getting to the point where it's actually difficult to maintain a truly righteous outlook, because everyone is so deeply entranced by the demented dynamics of that intensely foolish 'system.' Before I knew of the more base aspects of the operations of the various American fraternal cults, much of what goes on in our popular cultural didn't seem as alarmingly threatening and oppressive as it now does. Having an awakening, by coming in contact with the sickening low-lifes that perpetrate the cultic Satanic social evils, is truly illuminating. Too bad that the fools seem to be utterly unable to understand what it is that they are doing, and where it is that they are going. Unbelievable. They actually do not realize that they are putting the Mark of the Beast on people. Or maybe, they do - I can't say for sure. We are told in the New Testament (I have mentioned this many times before) that every person that accepts the Mark of the Beast, is going to burn eternally with Satan and his cronies in the Lake of Fire. I have tried to help people to understand, but something (probably demonic forces, or maybe the Lord Himself has decided to keep their minds darkened) seems to be preventing a greater light from shining upon the masses. Maybe I am just too stupid to convey it properly, or something. I think that I am reasonably intelligent, but maybe I am not. I know that plenty of people know for sure that all of these matters are extremely important. --- haunted.log Would you like a menu? Sat Jan 29 2000 Man. Sometimes it seems like all I think about is women. It's sad. And the worst part, is that most of the women that I think of, I don't even know personally, or at least not very well. Creepy. It's almost as if I have this 'shadow world' of quasi-romantic relationships going on with various ladies that I never (or rarely) see in normal life. I am probably just imagining this, right? No, it seems pretty real to me. I wonder if any of them are actually thinking of me. Poor things. I likes the girlies. Wish I had a wife (and a life). Felipe's wife May called, and said that he won't be able to make it to the CMAA tomorrow morning. I think that I'll start walking over to his restaurant eventually; he asked me to visit him there last week. Maybe it'll be more convenient for him. I really want to help the guy out with his English, because he seems to be pretty decent. Several of my Dalmatian puppy Giga-Pets have died. Actually, all of them; I've never successfully completed a cycle of the game. The toy quite tastefully displays a simple 'Game Over' message, rather than showing any kind of dead puppy. If you forget to feed and care for the Tamagotchi Angel, the toy gradually shows the little character with a kind of necrotic, darkened cast to it (kind of like it's rotting), to let you know that your parenting skills are lacking. Then the thing dies, after refusing to eat any more pies for almost a whole day - however, you can still gorge it with candy, if you like, although that will not preserve it's life. Pie and candy are the only things on the menu. --- migrate.log Very low power consumption Sun Jan 30 2000 Saturday morning, I saw a segment on a nature show that provided some pretty amazing details about how satellite telemetry is used to monitor the migratory patterns of Peregrine falcons. A very small, 5-watt transmitter was securely attached to the back of a (very angry-looking) bird, between the wings. This device would be relaying data to a satellite orbiting 550 miles above. Viewers were also informed that the scientists at the monitoring facility would somehow be able to gather accurate information about the eating and mating habits of the animal, although I missed some of the particulars as to how that would be possible. Back at headquarters, the scientists displayed extremely detailed computer maps of exactly where the bird had been, over the course of it's seasonal exodus from one area of the planet to another. The critter covered a lot of ground, ranging from Baffin Island in northern Canada to Barbados and the Gulf of Mexico. All of the locational data (I am assuming) was gathered by the same satellite. Really interesting. --- taxi.log Going up Wed Feb 2 2000 I have really begun to better understand and appreciate what is meant by in the Bible, when we are told that the Lord so loved the world, and gave up his only Son for a sacrifice for our (sinners that believe in Jesus Christ) salvation. It is important to keep in mind, that before sending Jesus, the Lord had already destroyed at least one entire previous age of Earth history, via the deluge, and had allowed and/or directly caused the complete or partial destruction of various individual cultures (depending on how the reader interprets and views Biblical information). As I've mentioned before, some Biblical researchers believe that there may have been a pre-Edenic history, stretching far into the past, where groups of angels (and possibly other orders of heavenly beings) dwelt upon Earth. A few of these people assert that the story of Satan's rebellion against God may have something to do with the disordered state of the rest of the planetary bodies in this solar system, and claim that the entire surface of this planet was made similarly lifeless (and then subsequently recreated by the Lord), all because of an ancient heavenly war. A lot of what I am about to write is highly speculative; I want to make it very clear that I do not necessarily believe that my opinions are entirely correct. First, I'll start off with the more logical parts. If our civilization were advanced by, oh, say, a hundred or so years, I think that it would be easy to believe for most of us, that we would very likely have the ability to fairly easily travel to the moon and Mars. Most likely, we'd have public colonies on one or both of them by then, barring any world wars, or other large-scale interruptions. Ok. Now, what if we were able to develop some kind of very sophisticated time-space travel mechanism by that time, and were subsequently able to venture far beyond this solar system, and perhaps discover another habitable world, orbiting another far-flung star? Taking the idea further, what if that remote world was not only habitable, but also peopled, with beings similar to ourselves? And what if the average civilization of those beings was equivalent to ours, as they were during the first millennium A.D.? If we arrived on such a world, in whatever type of conveyances we'd have developed for the purpose, surely we'd quickly be hailed as gods by those less advanced peoples. There would probably be a period of fervent social and intellectual interaction between ourselves and the cultures of the remote planet, and after we'd departed, there would very likely be a profound, lingering effect upon the denizens of this hypothetical primitive world. Although to the less knowledgeable souls on that world, we might seem to be demi-gods, would we indeed be worthy of receiving such an appellation? Consider our long history on Earth of advantaging ourselves, at the expense of weaker people and civilizations. It seems possible, that if we were able to travel beyond Earth, and discover other worlds and civilizations, that we would continue along with the same general course of action that we have followed all throughout our long developmental phase on this world. If we would have caused any serious harm to the alien civilizations, by exploiting them or their natural resources, I don't think that we'd deserve to be seen by those people as wholesome 'heavenly beings.' Not unless we were sent on such a mission by the real Lord; that would be the only way that I personally, would feel comfortable with having any kind of serious spiritual reverence directed towards me, personally. The sad thing, here on Earth, is that we often seem to be most in awe of the people and organizations that do (or can do) the most harm to the less powerful. We are told by Lord Jesus, in the New Testament, that those of us that are going to be mustered into the heavenly ranks, are going to be 'as the angels of heaven,' and that we will no longer 'give or take in marriage.' It seems fairly obvious to me that this is a reference to the complete abandonment of sexual activities, in our quest to move closer to the Lord. Although many (perhaps most) folks think of that as an absolutely horrible prospect, I for one, feel that it will very likely be a great relief in many respects, because of the constant strain that sexual impulses exert upon my mind. Consider that the disobedient angelic forces (the Sons of God, described in the book of Genesis), came down to Earth, and somehow had sexual relations with women, against the Lord's will. They were not supposed to do that. I believe that loyal angelic intelligences, ideally, are to be something of an 'overseer' group, and are supposed to watch over and guide the development of the lower, corporeal beings. Those of us that have faith in God, are going to be recreated as Sons of God. It literally says that we will be 'made white' in the Bible. I am certain that this is not a racial reference, at least not by the standards of race, as we currently understand them in this age. This is what I believe was meant by Jesus, when he said that we 'are gods' - he was probably considering saved human souls as they will be in the future, eternal sense, rather than in this shabby, temporal state. --- state.log We the people Thu Feb 3 2000 You know, to obtain a more accurate picture of what is really happening here in the United States, you have to learn how to read between the lines. There are many, many obviously wonderful things happening here; I don't need to inform anyone, especially not our citizens, of the endless innovation and industry that our fabulous nation has brought to the planet. Our advances in political and cultural relations have set new standards by which much of the rest of the world has realigned itself. I could ululate on and on about America's wondrous effect on immigrants from every continent; how generous and open-hearted most of our people are, and the basic goodness of our military, political and legal institutions. I am utterly proud of every little good thing that we have been able to achieve, particularly domestic advances that have been applied to benefit the rest of the world's less advanced nations - many of which do not share the privileges of our truly blessed state. I could dig up bushels of quotes from many learned men, that also felt that there was something extremely special about this nation, and the largely good character of its people. The people of the United States can be kind and accommodating to a fault. Not only do I know this from my own experiences, but I have seen it in action many times, applied to the lives and circumstances of others. I believe that the Christian faith, and the people that have diligently preached its principles in America throughout the years, should get most of the credit for the basic good quality of these people. Without our spiritual values, we wouldn't have been able to make the vast improvements over previous forms of government. It seems evident, to me, at least, that we are in grave danger of completely losing the positive spiritual and moral foundation that this nation was built up on. That means, as best as my little pea brain can tell, that we may also be nearing a point where many of our cherished freedoms and blessings may be eventually yanked away from us. God tells us, that if we turn our backs on Him, that he will deliver us to the will of our enemies. Keep in mind, that we have a few enemies, both domestic and foreign. Forgetting God makes us our own worst enemies. Many of our leaders and authorities have 'traded in' their scruples for sacks of dollar bills. And most of them appear to have no guilty conscience about it, at all. This is what is being modeled for us, by the craven fiends that have been selling us out, to sneaky-snake forces of darkness that hate the God that has manifested our blessings. Thus, we have become more and more a nation of base materialists, rather than a land of honorable ideals, that takes pride in its values and social standards. Do you realize that it is the Lord that helped to deliver the many Americans that were in chains of slavery, from that miserable bondage? Do you realize that the Lord also brought to an end to the extermination of millions of innocent people during World War II? If the intervention of the Lord in world affairs wasn't a reality, we might not have any Jews left, or entire cultures of people might have been condemned to everlasting servitude. This might sound funny to some people, but I assure you all, that I am being entirely serious about these matters. Many men that have spent time in active duty in wars, particularly in the more intense skirmishes, can relate incredible stories of bizarre spiritual events, that left many of them utterly convinced of the reality of the existence of Almighty God. I have heard a few such tales, and I believe them. There is truly nothing glamorous about war; it is hell, and people that have been there can confirm that. Many of our people are able to live fanciful, care-free existences, because of the shed blood of millions of people that have struggled and died for what we have been trying to create and preserve over here, in the 'new world.' Have all of those valiant people died in vain? Does it seem right to any of you, for us to forfeit the ideals and values of the people that have gone before us, that have brought us so securely forward, into this, again, splendid age of education, opportunity and general illumination? What are you guys going to choose? The wisdom of the fear and love of God, or a mouthful of monkey meat? It amazes me that so many folks are choosing the latter. --- looks.log They probably will Sat Feb 5 2000 Spoke with [NAME DELETED] on the phone a few hours ago; he said that he is still having problems with psychotronic harassment. A bit earlier today, I watched a very interesting (and somewhat disturbing) congressional debate on C-Span, about whether or not there should be full disclosure of all technical details involved in medical trials of new treatments and medications, to voluntary medical experimentation subjects. The gathered congressional officials and panel of medical researchers seemed to be more than a little bit aware of the very real issue of the involuntary medical research that is being conducted, of the type that [NAME DELETED] and I believe we may be a part of. The complexity of these types of situations, especially in cases of my type, where there are obscuring factors of calculated foolishness, makes it difficult to fully comprehend and believe the fact that there often is an element of covert scientific research involved in these confusing, evil, and quite obviously, carefully engineered 'muggings' that have been taking place in America, and very likely in areas abroad. Many normal Americans are extremely naive about factors pertaining to the strange multinational corporate cultures, and the strong streak of elitist, fascist spiritual and philosophical attitudinal orientations often present amongst its members. It is difficult to convince people that there is a direct parallel between the mobilization of negative social, political and spiritual forces during World War II, and those that are currently being activated, even though all of the evidence to draw such a conclusion is readily available. --- property.log Expletives deleted Sun Feb 6 2000 It's a difficult situation to face, having to go to war against oneself. This is what many of us must do, in our quest for closeness to God. The honest person knows that the highest hurdles often lie within oneself. And, of course, overcoming serious internal obstacles usually presents the greatest challenge for those of us that feel the most self-righteous. I have spent so much time - years, really - oscillating through various levels of frustration and anger. The intense disappointment that I have felt, has been excruciating at times. I have tried to feel angry at God for some of my problems, but whenever I try to convey these feelings in prayer, I almost immediately realize that it is myself that is the true source of disappointment. Running a close second, are my family and friends, but even they deserve very little blame. No, it's not God's fault. It is a combination of my irresponsibility, and that of various other people and institutions, that is to blame for the miserable mess that my life has become. If I were dishonest, I'd try and blame others for it all, but I know that I deserve some of the blame. Maybe not most of it, but some. There have been times when I felt that I was absolutely alienated from all aspects of this world, and during such times, I would feel almost comforted by a feeling of separation from all things earthly and problematic. I recall noticing at an early age, that almost all of the television show plots dealt with hypothetical problems and resolutions - there were very few scripts, especially for sitcoms, that had no exaggerated difficulties, that were usually resolved by the end of the program. I think that most folks believe that all of life's basic problems have some type of reasonable solution. It is a frustrating thing to have an unsolved puzzle on your hands, especially when your personal happiness and productivity seems to be at stake. Who writes this stuff, anyway? Heh heh. Sometimes, I see the most ludicrous imagery on television. It can be really entertaining to just slowly flip through the cable channels, hearing only a few seconds of dialog from each station. Often, I am amazed at what appear to be bizarre synchronicities between completely unrelated types of programming. It can be difficult to simply describe the unusual and somewhat disturbing nature of these perceptions, but since I have frequently noticed this sort of phenomenon, I felt that there'd be some merit in making mention of it. Life can be so utterly peculiar; I am glad that I have a cast iron brain, because you really need one in this information age blizzard. That Alvin Toffler really knew what he was talking about. Futureshock, for sure. --- over.log The mice ran down Mon Feb 7 2000 I have had to consciously prevent myself from writing about certain speculative spiritual theories, mainly because I am unsure about their validity. Even though I am constantly having what seem to be validating internal and external psycho-spiritual experiences, I am always reminding myself of the admonishments regarding 'strong delusion' in the New Testament. The counterbalance to that, are statements in Revelation (and elsewhere in the Bible), that the Lord eventually will reveal his 'secret plan' to those of us that are concerned about the truth. It seems obvious to me, that there are various individuals and organizations that have a better understanding of the hidden truth of what is happening, and that there is often a degree of hostility involved, when people that might be considered 'outsiders,' such as myself, begin to get closer to the true nature of whatever secrets are being withheld from the general public. Again, I have tried to keep myself from putting forth specific details of much of what I believe I know, because of my worries about being deceived by evil spiritual forces, but since I have had so many odd experiences (most of them being of the highly subjective internal variety) pertaining to what I believe may be the 'bigger picture,' it seems best to risk being somewhat in error, and to write down some of the more specific details of what I have been increasingly considering as possible, especially over the past few years. I have written in another file, about how it seems good to carefully consider avenues of thought about celestial matters, that are largely ignored by the community of people that produce most of the material that focuses on theories about what is happening between Earth and the heavens. For instance, almost all of the people that write about hypothetical beings from outer space, seem to feel that such creatures must have traveled a great distance (in the Cartesian coordinate sense) to arrive here on Earth, and that seems to exclude the possibility of there being any habitable material spheres (besides Earth) in this general vicinity. The 'fact' that the remainder of our solar system is devoid of material life, appears to be a complete given, and anyone that might argue to the contrary, probably would be viewed as somewhat irrational by many minds that are concerned with extraterrestrial issues. When anyone dares to posit that there might actually be material lifeforms dwelling elsewhere in this solar system, underground, or limited surface biosphere communities, are usually used to explain how material beings might survive on our apparently inhospitable planetary neighbors. The thought of spheres such as Venus or Mercury being able to support material life would likely be dismissed with disdainful snorts, by most of our very best current scientific minds. Trying to consider what might be the answer, regarding how God could accurately convey details about the unfolding of future events on Earth, to Biblical prophets, has helped me to understand what may be happening. If, for instance, the detailed information conveyed to John the Revelator about the end of this Earth age, was given to him by the Lord, or angelic forces under Him, this means that the God family, must view this Earth age (in a certain sense) as already having been completed. In other words, God (and probably many, or all of the loyal heavenly beings) is seeing events on Earth (even including the times after Jesus begins His rule) up to the end of the righteous millennium, as having already been written, or predestined. This is because the Lord has an eternal perspective, rather than one that is restrictively time-based. The age beyond Christ's millennial rule, after Satan and his forces are thoroughly defeated (after being released from some kind of 'prison,' where they will be detained during Christ's rule), seems to be where the real story begins, and very likely, that is where the Lord will begin to most powerfully interact in human affairs. There is some doubt in my mind as to whether this physical Earth will survive past that point, because we are told of the creation of 'a new heavens and a new earth' after the end of the millennial age. All of this is quite challenging to understand; we must remember that the prophetic information in the Bible, is being conveyed to us in a context that we can better understand, by God, who is utterly unfettered by our limited (meaning time-based) forms of reasoning. This is where I get back to better explaining why I think that there might actually be other material worlds of life in this solar system. If I am correct about this being true, and if those worlds are distanced from this one by vast stretches of time (say, millions or billions of years), it seems likely that God would be able to consider different ages, on numerous worlds, in a parallel sense, rather than in a serial way, as most of us would. What I am saying, is that what theoretically may have happened on, say, Mars, in the far past, may have some kind of relationship to current affairs on Earth. This would be seen by most of us as being possible, if we knew for certain that the bridging of large spans of time and space was achievable. Let's say that there was a completely different set of humanoid cultures dwelling on Mars, several million years ago, and that they were under a stronger form of God-directed spiritual government. Perhaps they might have possessed technological knowledge far beyond what we currently have. If they were allowed by God to (by technological and/or spiritual means) interact with Earth people, and subsequently began to make decisions that were expressly forbidden by the Lord, might not very high levels of error seem possible? As wicked and destructive as many of our native cultures seem to be, how much worse would things be, if a truly alien culture was enabled to evilly influence our already spiritually mismanaged world? Sinister souls from a more advanced planetary civilization would likely view these weaker vessels as game pieces, to be manipulated for their dark entertainment. Remember, angels are often described as material beings throughout the Bible, so this is why I am trying to draw an analogy between the possibility of another physical world of life in the neighborhood. What if Mars was that 'estate' that the disobedient angelic forces departed from, in order to come to Earth, and illegally consort with Earth women? Now to try and explain certain aspects of how this might actually have been (or be) possible. First, I'd like to make mention that I don't necessarily believe that Mars is the actual place to consider in this context - many other local planets and satellites could be considered; Mars just seems to be one of the best candidates, because there is ample evidence that it may have once had a climate very similar to Earth's. During my near-death experience, as I have explained before, I was gathered up by what seemed to be a very powerful, kind spiritual personality. After being lifted above Earth, it seemed that the surrounding space scrolled away to the left, and then I felt that a different planetary sphere was beneath us. After suddenly finding myself on the surface of (I assume) that other world, I felt an incredibly powerful radiance, that seemed to emanate not only from all around me, but also from within my own being. Also, there were sounds of other people around me, and there was also a strange, electronic kind of sensation around my head area, along with some odd high-pitched noises. I also heard a very low-pitched horn, that sounded very similar to a Hebrew horn that I have heard sounded - the name of that instrument sounds exactly like the word 'chauffeur,' but I don't know it's correct spelling. In the Bible, we are told that those of us that are being saved into the Lord's Kingdom, are to be brought back to a place that was 'established before the foundations of the earth were lain.' What if that place is actually another life-supporting local planet, but in a completely different area of the time-space history of this solar system? Most people seem to feel that the heavenly Kingdom has nothing at all to do with the material universe, but there seems to be a lot of evidence in the Bible to the contrary. What is the point of Jesus evidencing a physical bodily resurrection, if we aren't going to have material forms after being delivered from death? That's probably the best evidence of all that there is a definite physical dimension to heaven. Another, more obvious one, that even non-believers can ponder upon, is the endless expanse of the material universe. Come on, do you really think that all of that matter was manifested for no good reason? Be serious. The Lord doesn't create things in vain. I am sure that He means for that vast array of suns to be used for some purpose. I am going to leave off for now, because I want to avoid getting into the weirder things that I believe might be realities. --- fetch.log A monumental achievement Tue Feb 8 2000 It seems entirely possible that there may have been interactions between human and rebel angelic civilizations throughout the history of this world. If there really are other physical planets, where advanced humanoid civilizations may have flourished in the past, doesn't it seem probable that they would attempt to influence the course of Earth history, if it were within their power to do so? We certainly would choose to interfere with the progress of an alien civilization, if we had a technological advantage over them, and if the opportunity presented itself to us. I can say this with great conviction, because I am aware of history. If the rebellious angelic forces, wherever they originally hailed from in the heavens, suddenly found themselves marooned here on Earth, they would very likely begin a campaign to completely wrest control of the planet away from it's native souls. Over time, ordinary humans would find themselves largely, or even completely dominated by the sinister angelic forces. I am not saying that I am totally convinced that there are fallen angels upon Earth, whether in human guise or not, but many of my odd experiences seem to point directly to such a possibility. If someone were to directly ask me if I believed that such a thing might be possible, I would answer 'probably.' It seems to be very likely. After all of the highly unusual situations where I have noticed peculiar spiritual phenomena, I am sure that there is a very strong negative spiritual force, that is trying to demoralize the people in general. That force seems to be comprised of groups of spirit personalities, which I am assuming are the individual fallen angels themselves, perhaps operating in conjunction with demons. Maybe some of the beings recovered from alleged 'alien' flying saucer crashes were members of certain orders of heavenly intelligence. The 'Greys' seem to be good candidates to consider in such a light, because the original Hebrew translation of the word 'seraphim' in the Bible (which is one of the angelic orders; another are the cherubim) means 'fiery flying serpent.' Many people in the UFO theory community seem to equate the Greys, and similar (alleged) alien beings with some kind of a 'serpent race.' Maybe they are the losers of the heavenly war (the Dragon and his angels), that have finally been cast down to Earth, as we've been warned about, in the Book of Revelation. Since they'd already have eternal souls, the destruction of their physical bodies would very likely only be a temporary inconvenience. There are plenty of humans that are foolishly willing to be possessed by evil spiritual forces, so it probably wouldn't have been long before they were able to 'suit up' in various human beings. Perhaps this is what has been happening, with the whole wicked fraternal system over the past century or so. Maybe, the ancient secret societies that the 'modern' version of those sickening rituals have been handed down from, were originally established during a series of early angelic 'visits' to Earth, millennia ago. They would have likely realized their eventual defeat, and imprisonment on Earth was pending, and they may have sown the seeds for what is happening now, way back then, so that they would be assured of the least resistance possible, upon their final 'trip' to our lovely li'l realm. Does this all seem very far-fetched to you? --- aircrash.log Correct the psychic contents Wed Feb 9 2000 I feel safe writing LOG files in Windows for Workgroups again, because I have learned to invoke the /N (no network drivers) option at the command line. Disabling the networking functionality seems to help prevent mysterious crashes from happening. Speaking of crashes, there was a mid-air collision of two small airplanes this afternoon (Tuesday), over the town of Zion, which is north of Chicago. One of the planes landed on the roof of a hospital, and the other wound up in the middle of a residential street. Pretty weird to see; it amazes me that aircrashes don't happen more often, considering the volume of air traffic, especially over urban areas. Although both of the pilots were killed, nobody on the ground was hurt, which is fortunate. I saw a fairly entertaining Kung Fu movie last night, called 'Wheels on Meals.' Bits of the acting were slightly comedic, like some of the Jackie Chan material. Most of the fighting was very well choreographed, and the body language of the actors was pretty good (the entire film was dubbed, including a lot of funny incidental noises, like people slurping fluids from cups). I think most of the Asian actors were Chinese, but it seemed to be filmed entirely in Spain. I'm writing this on Tuesday afternoon, but I'll continue it into Wednesday, because I don't like to have multiple entries for the same day. Just finished watching the Tuesday evening news. I have learned that one of the pilots that was killed in the air accident earlier today was a very popular morning D.J. from the WGN AM radio station - Bob Collins. He was flying a ZLIN 242, which is a fairly posh (sophisticated and expensive) small aircraft; the navigator of the other plane was a woman, who was a student pilot, going through a series of practice flight patterns in the area. Sad. Seems like plenty of people will miss Bob Collins; I can't say for sure if I ever listened to his show. It is now after midnight. It becomes more obvious each day, that there is a great deal more spiritual negativity attached to those fraternal rituals. It is really a shame that so few people seem to understand this. Most of the people that are familiar with basic Christian lore, know that the devil is also described as the 'tempter,' and that he very often uses greed and desire as ways to enmesh people in his evil designs. Why can't these people understand how intensely wrong those practices are? I am sure that it is because many, if not most of the folks that perpetuate those vile systems, are in fact demonically possessed. Any reasonable person, upon careful reflection, would agree that there is no rational way to explain why the fools engage in such stupid practices. One needs to consider the spiritual angle, to put forth any kind of basic theory as to why anybody 'does that.' On either side. All I see are a bunch of kicked-dog grins, on the faces of the twits that I try to argue about these matters with. Nearly everybody past a certain age in America, is aware to some degree of those behind-the-scenes practices. It really disturbs me that so few people seem to realize the demonic aspect of such evils. Those practices are meant to enable evil spirits to gain better control over their victims - to more thoroughly possess individuals. The initiations that the street gangs use to induct new members into their fold, are basically the exact same thing as what is practiced by the members of the more high-falutin' fraternal organizations. Believe me, it's all about demons, not simple, innocent, happy-go-lucky 'traditions.' Maybe they just don't understand why acquiescence to demonic possession isn't a good thing. I will try, in my feeble way, to explain why it is bad. The Lord is the only being that can be said to have absolute free will. Do you agree? It makes sense to me, because He created the heavens and Earth, so it seems obvious that He would best be able to exercise will-power. I believe His purpose for creating humans (along with all of the other orders of created beings), is to gradually lift us higher up towards His state, probably through a series of phases of spiritual development. This seems to be borne out by the statements in the Bible, that we have been created 'a little lower than the angels,' and that when those of us that are found worthy of entering heaven, do, we will be 'as the angels of heaven, who neither give or take in marriage.' This information strongly indicates that we are indeed, moving up to a higher level of being, when we enter the Kingdom of God. Ok. Now, our entrance into the Kingdom of God is dependent on whether or not we exercise good judgment, and faith in Christ's redemptive power. In other words, we have to make good choices, and not recklessly abuse our free will, otherwise, we will not gain entrance into heaven. Right? Yes. If we abuse the great gift of free will that God has given us, we may not be accounted as worthy to receive eternal life. Why is this? Because the Lord doesn't want to fill up the heavens with a mess of fools that are going to be destructive and ungrateful, that's why! That might disturb many people, because many of us in this age seem to be rather reckless, and slightly violent. This is why the Lord tells us to repent of our sins, and pray constantly. Many of us really need to, because of serious problems with an evil nature. Now, why is it a bad thing to 'accept' demonic possession, and ritualistic activities and set-up situations that are designed to manifest such states? Because the demons are some of the very best examples of beings that have lost much of their free will. Their concept of 'freedom' is nearly entirely destructive, and I believe that has resulted from their misuse of will-power. If they actually once were physical beings, perhaps the actions that they took whilst in the flesh had everything to do with why they are now such depraved, totally evil spiritual beings. A similar case could be made for the renegade angels. Bad choices in the past have brought them to where they are now. Their abuse of free will has led them further and further away from the Lord's grace, and now, apparently, they are irretrievable. Very, very sad. Maybe we can learn something important from their plight. This is why we should not seek 'oneness' with the enemies of God. They are slated for eternal destruction, you idiots. That's why. If we unite with them, we will be destroyed along with them. Don't you see? --- bluebell.log Bone-conducting sound waves Thu Feb 10 2000 I recall finding a very odd book in a store on Clark (just south of Sherman's building - the old Futureshok warehouse), that was about an ancient Germanic fraternal order. Although I remember very few specific details concerning the contents, the one thing that remains in my memory, is that readers of the book were informed that the members of that particular secret society believed that they were somehow connected to a civilization that once existed on one of the moons of Saturn, long ago. I really should have written down the name of the text, because I'd like to determine whether or not there is any validity to that claim. As I have mentioned before, it seems reasonable to believe that this solar system could go through a wide range of fluctuations throughout the entire course of it's history, and if somewhere along the line, our sun had a significantly greater thermal output, I can imagine that the outer fringes of this system would be far more temperate than they are currently. This would mean that the moons of Saturn and/or Jupiter might actually be able to support life systems very similar to ours, if they were properly developed, by the advanced teams of loyal celestial beings that I am sure the Lord has under His command. Perhaps even the renegade angelic forces would have the sufficient technology and temporary (as in the case of the Earth temporarily being ruled by ungodly forces) dominion, to enable them to make viable such a small world. Of course, I am not an astrophysicist (heh), but it seems like such a thing might actually be possible. If this solar system ever had any other life-supporting worlds, with advanced civilizations upon them, anywhere, we should be able to discover many different kinds of clues that would indicate this. Everyone knows about the 'Face on Mars' hoopla. What many people do not know, is that several years ago, an engineer from JPL (Jet Propulsion Laboratory) claimed that one of the Voyager satellites sent back pictures of what appeared to be the ruins of human dwellings, on the surfaces of two of the Jupiterian moons, Ganymede and Callisto. I never saw the images myself - they were supposed to have been immediately uploaded to an Internet site, where I assume, anyone could have accessed them. The fellow said that regular lines were easily discernible, along with architectural details, like arches and doorways. One of the alleged ruin sites was partially iced over and obscured - it was nearer to the northern pole of that particular moon (I can't remember which one), but the features found on the other moon were in plain sight, and nearer the equatorial region. All of this was discussed very candidly, and live, on the Art Bell show. Making mention of Art Bell might make many people feel skeptical, but I don't think that the people at JPL are jokers. Strangely, after the night of that broadcast, the topic was never again discussed on the show. In fact, I believe I heard a caller begin to bring it up, during a phone-in session many weeks later, and they were promptly disconnected. Either those people are playing some very sinister, complicated deception games, or there is some truth to it. --- ixia.log The hand that rocks the cradle Fri Feb 11 2000 Various aspects of this miserable ordeal that I've been enduring are difficult for me to write about. Not only is it personally embarrassing to attempt to convey particulars concerning, for instance, the 'mugging' aspect of my experience, but it is also deeply disturbing to do so, because of the general lack of empathy that is usually directed towards me by listeners, when I even lightly brush on such subjects. Also, I realize that others (perhaps many others; I really don't know for sure) have been dealing with similar miseries, and I often receive a sort of 'suffering in silence' response from individuals that understand the specific sociological problems that I am complaining about. I know well that the 'funny thing on the way to the forum' paradigm has been a very large part of many branches of Western civilization, for many centuries, even millennia. My intent is to help the readers to understand the very real dimension of demonism involved in those ritualistic practices. What are often semi-innocently referred to as 'initiations,' by the members of the many varieties of modern fraternal cults, are very ancient rituals, transferred across vast spans of time, from mankind's ancestors, to their present-day scions. The basic modus operandi of the members of current fraternal organizations, probably isn't very different from the groups that existed many centuries ago. At the root level, they are very likely identical to many clubs that existed thousands of years ago. The Bible refers to such groups of people in many ways. For instance, an Old Testament prophet (Habakkuk 2:15-16) pronounced woe upon people that 'gave strong drink' to their neighbors, to 'look upon their nakedness.' It appears that this is a very big part of what the shameful 'drinking clubs' have been about, throughout history. In another Biblical book, we are told of people 'whose glory is their shame.' I feel very strongly that the practitioners of the sinister cultic errors that our nation is so heavily beset with, perfectly fit that description. The foolish traditions that those people perpetrate and perpetuate are all-the-way wrong, and they always will be. There is absolutely no way that they can whitewash their disgusting practices, and make them right, because they aren't. It doesn't matter if we are talking about a White, Black, Asian or other type of fraternal organization that is guilty of doing these wrong things. Such societal evils are found all throughout the world, in many different kinds of cultures, both primitive and complex. Again, the idea of an engineered 'mugging,' as a social rite-of-passage, is not at all new. However, basic fraternalism, in combination with certain new variables that are present in this modern, technological age, brings those ancient practices into a whole new light. Keep in mind that those 'initiations' are intended to manifest a state of demonic possession, in the people being victimized. It seems obvious to me, that the individuals acting as the 'initiators,' must have been similarly victimized (and demonized), at some point in their past. The reason why they attempt to induct others into those wicked associations, is because the evil spirits indwelling and controlling them, want to expand their demonic circle of influence, and have a wider range of social control in the civilization in which they are operating. These are facts. Understand that there can be many different 'teams' of demons, and that it is quite common for them to frenetically contest (in a psycho-spiritual fashion) against other groups, within a single state, or even internationally (demons, unfettered by weighty flesh bodies, appear to enjoy a far greater degree of mobility than we do). In America, where we have so much diversity, there are many different facets to the complete sociological picture - this is why there are so many different 'flavors' of fraternalism. As best as I can tell, many of the fraternal cults are fundamentally equivalent to more blatantly occultic organizations like the Wiccans, Theosophists or even the organized Satanic groups; the main difference, is the front, or face, of most of the fraternal organizations suggests that they are innocent, noble and wholesome organizations, which of course, we all know they often are not. --- daffodil.log Smell da pwetty fwowers Sat Feb 12 2000 Perhaps it is high time for me to leaven my mood a bit. I can't expect to keep myself in good spirits, by only dwelling on the bad things. Let me try to focus on what is right about reality. Alright. Flowers are nice. What else? The endless procession of beautiful women that I see everywhere I go - that's great. The robust economy is wonderful (but I know that the people that are trying to take credit for our economic good health, aren't really responsible for it), along with the low unemployment rate. Really excellent. Many things seem right. The general state of the nation and world isn't all that bad, if you don't take into consideration the underlying corruption and bad spiritual mechanics. What is immediately apparent, the veneer of the obvious, is where most folks want their perceptions to remain parked. Focusing your awareness solely on external factors keeps things simple and safe, and that is how nearly everybody likes their reality to remain. If I perceived only what is immediately evident, living this life would be a much more relaxing affair for me. Unfortunately, I have had the misfortune of being made aware of many hidden strangenesses, which lurk behind regular reality. Now, negotiating reality is awkward and unpleasant. This type of awareness is both a blessing and a curse. More of a curse, really, but there is little that I can do to reduce my sensitivity to it. I am greatly amazed at the success that so many people seem to have at managing their sense of well being, after having a similar 'brush' with the brand of insanity that I have had (meaning the voodoo cultists, of course). Many of those sorts seem to feel as though their lives are just fine and dandy. I saw an actress on television Friday evening, that quite candidly said that she had 'sold her soul to the devil,' during the course of a casual conversation that she was having with the host of the show. The audience and the host sort of laughed, but then there was some lingering tension for about a minute afterwards. Certainly, such issues are not laughing matters. The devil is no joke. It is utterly mind-boggling to me, that so few people seem to understand the seriousness of the time that we living in. Each and every day brings more confirmations that we are enduring an incredibly powerful onslaught of negative spiritual phenomena. Though there has been some cooling from the period of lunacy (mass murders and assorted other freak-outs) that manifested throughout the course of last year, I am sure that more madness of that variety is just over the horizon. Probably a lot more. --- snowdrop.log Very far away Sun Feb 13 2000 I am really excited about a wonderful software product that I've discovered over the past week - it is a hypertext document browser for DOS (designed by a particular software company, whose name I don't need to mention here). Although I know that I could design my own hypertext editor, I currently don't have any programming language compilers, and I would feel uncomfortable developing any important software in the MS-DOS QBasic environment, because there is no provision for protecting the source code. I need a good BASIC compiler, so that I can create stand-alone .EXE files. Maybe one of my nerd friends has one that I can use temporarily. I'm sure that I'll eventually purchase one or more. That browser is really neat, a real programming gem. Context-sensitive search capabilities are built-in, and it can be loaded as a TSR, and then be called upon while using another program, such as a text editor. Very useful - I sent off a brief letter requesting more information to the developers today (I hope that the address is still current). --- orchid.log None for me, thanks Tue Feb 15 2000 I am sure that there is a group of people that are spying on this household. If this age were less technologically advanced, I might be tempted to believe that I am just being paranoid. There is little doubt in my mind that we are being 'monitored' by some kind of (at least) bugging and wiretap system. The especially disgusting part about it, is that an element of private citizenry appears to be operating, as opposed to this being a situation where only federal or state agencies would be involved. Probably, they are spying on us as well. Sounds like textbook schizophrenia, you say? Poppycock. Our privacy is being violated, and a whole lot of people appear to be involved. I hate those blankety-blanks. I have no kind words for them. I am certain that none of them would appreciate any of this being done to them. Again, as I have said before, this entire system is crooked and utterly corrupt, from top to bottom, and very little can be done to improve things, because practically nobody will acknowledge what the main problem is - the systematic, ritualistic demonization of people in this society. After decades of perverse 'progression,' these lamebrains feel that they have to right to infringe upon the privacy of anyone that they have a curiosity about. It seems likely that espionage cults have developed over the years, because of the fervent interest in all aspects of private investigation, and the legions of wannabe spies out there. I just bet some team of nitwits are actually taking the time to listen in on our conversations, and they might even be transcribing them, and uploading them to a webpage. That would explain why there have been so many uncanny synchronicities between events here at home, and reactions that I have noticed in various media people. This proves to me, beyond any doubt, that almost none of the media people have anything even vaguely resembling a moral backbone, because if they did, this kind of fascist crap wouldn't be happening. Tonight, while I was trying to explain to [NAME DELETED](in yet another way) why I believe so strongly that the 'mugging' experience that happened to me, can be equated with the Mark of the Beast, described in Revelation, I explained that there is a very popular (particularly among 'traditional' Satanists) graphical depiction of the devil, known as the 'Mendes goat,' which looks like a very ugly, goat-faced demon, with long horns and an inverted pentacle on its forehead. It also sports swollen, pendulous breasts. The vile creature is usually shown sitting on a kind of throne, radiating a glowering, dark-faced leer. And its legs are spread wide apart, suggesting evil sensuality. This is what I believe the Masonic (and other fraternal drinking-club) 'traditions' really boil down to. Situations where already-demonized folks 'mug' new initiates into a group of (literally, you understand) damned people that are (whether or not they are fully conscious of it) entirely devoted to serving Satan. Might sound downright silly to anyone that is unaware of the incredibly negative spiritual aspects of this type of unpleasant situation. The people that accept those sickening violations, become drones, or zombies, that are indwelt by evil spiritual intelligences (that often use their hosts for very wicked purposes). Some 'victims' seem to be very willing to serve the infernal spirit forces, and probably deeply enjoy those sickening rituals that I hate so much. Good for them. I want no part of that sinister shit. --- petunia.log Taking care of business Wed Feb 16 2000 I have carefully considered many different theories about the possible existence of extraterrestrial life. Leaving my spiritual experiences out of the equation is difficult, but necessary, to keep my objectivity on a par with the many people that know nothing about the reality of an afterlife. The great variety and omnipresence of life that we have on this planet indicates to me that many of our native organisms are terrifically adaptable. Life has been found many miles below, in underground chambers, and even further down, in samples of earth and rock dug up by geologists. It seems plausible that rudimentary microbial lifeforms might be found on some of our planetary neighbors. If a scientist, strolling along a sandy beach, picks up a grain of sand and later closely examines it back at his laboratory, more likely than not, he'll find thriving colonies of weensie little critters. This is usually true, whether the sample is retrieved from a location near the equator or from the polar extremities. Do you think that scientist would have any doubt whether life existed on other sand grains on that beach? Now, the concept of the existence of other material worlds of life, on the order of what we are enjoying here, is very hard to fully accept, for many folks, even the most forward-thinking among us. People that believe the many extraterrestrial conspiracy theories, often claim that there are quorums of people, knowledgeable about other living worlds and alien civilizations, that regularly hold meetings that are shrouded in secrecy. In these meetings, various different issues pertaining to the future of this planet and its native cultures, in relation to other worlds and civilizations, are discussed. Do you feel that this is an accurate depiction of what is really happening, or might this whole extraterrestrial issue be a gigantic hoax, engineered by wicked people that want to delude the masses for unknown evil purposes? What do you think? One main reason why I think that there might be an element of deception to some of the hoopla over extraterrestrial issues, has a lot to do with the highly artificial, obviously engineered incident that took place several years ago, in the skies over the town of Phoenix, Arizona. I don't want to take the time to describe the situation here; I'll just say that the whole thing seemed like a very high-level mind-game. Anyone with minor investigative skills can get plenty of information on it from various national and international news archives. In this age of ever-increasingly miraculous technology, there seem to be much greater possibilities for massive deception. What if an entire generation of genetically engineered people were raised in complete isolation from the rest of the world (perhaps on a Pacific island), and trained to operate the most advanced secret technology available on Earth? Perhaps such people could be used to fake an alien 'arrival.' They might have even been so well-trained, that they themselves would literally believe that they were truly from another planet. Think about it very carefully, and I'm sure you'll understand what I am getting at. If basic antigravity vehicular transport is available, behind the scenes, and if those engineered people had an orchestrated landing, covered by world media, millions of people could be quickly deceived into believing that we were being visited by a truly alien civilization. These are things that we need to consider. I really do believe that life exists elsewhere in the universe and/or other dimensions, but I am seriously worried about possible deceptions. The Bible warns us that many people will be deceived into 'believing a lie' near the end of this age. It seems that we may be nearing that time. However, the Bible indicates in many places, that 'they that dwell in the heavens' are a definite reality. We have to be as careful as possible, and pray for the Lord to bless us with accurate discernment. --- azalea.log Ice is civilization Wed Feb 16 2000 Trying to describe my inner, highly subjective spiritual (and psycho-spiritual) experiences isn't easy. Some of them are very complicated, and I am still uncertain about their meaning. If I really tried, I suppose that it'd be possible to break them down into various different classes. I am going to attempt to do so. Keeping it simple, I can discern about three or four categories. The most common type, has to do with a kind of constant haranguing negative force, that attempts to disassemble any type of good mental state that I achieve. This is a real problem, with at least one very real spiritual personality. I know for sure that it isn't ordinary depression, because of the countless times that I have detected specific personality-oriented characteristics generated from the spiritual source of the problem. There have been times when I have felt strongly that there may be some kind of extremely advanced technological reinforcement (directed by human beings, perhaps demonically possessed) of whatever evil spirit force is at play, concerning this nearly-constant spiritual harassment that I have been enduring. Again, this is this most common (and simplest) class of internal phenomena that I have been experiencing. I know that many other people are being similarly hounded. I have the awareness of the concrete reality of there being wicked spirit beings (demons) involved. Another type, has to do with a range of perceptions involving extraterrestrial issues. Here is where I get worried about carelessly making too strong a case for the various interpretations that I have of these particular perceptions. It is very tempting to just throw caution to the wind, and describe exactly what I believe, but at this point, it seems wiser to exercise some restraint. I sincerely do not want to be used as a tool of deception, and I have very carefully considered the possibility that some of these perceptions may have been artificially (psychotronically) generated, by folks that are trying to brainwash and manipulate people, again, for purposes not entirely understandable, from my perspective. I know that it can be foolishness to trust your own thoughts, in this age of extremely advanced technology. What I would describe, if I felt comfortable doing so, would likely be of great interest to many people. Yet another category, has to do with sets of internal sensations that I am sure indicate the involvement of advanced technology. I believe that some of it is satellite-based, perhaps achieving effects on victims via particle beam technology and/or manipulation of the magnetosphere. Strange feelings of pressure, located in various bodily areas, which seem to have an electromagnetic or other type of subtle aspect to them, are common. A particularly wearisome pressure that is based in the parietal to occipital brain area, is especially disturbing. High-pitched tones and other weird sounds that seem to originate from inside of my skull or ear cavities, occasionally occur. These are some of the kinds of problems that I have been having, that comprise the third class of negative psycho-spiritual events. I feel that it is important to chronicle at least the basic information, regarding these matters, because as time goes on, many other people will discover some of the horrible realities that I have. Maybe information about my experiences will be helpful to somebody else, somewhere down the line. --- daisy.log Gonna get'cha Fri Feb 18 2000 I often wonder about the heavenly war described in the Bible, where Satan and his angels are defeated by archangel Michael and the loyal host of Lord Yahweh. I'd like to know if that war had anything at all to do with physical areas of the universe, or was it an exclusively spiritual conflagration? If the physical beings that have allegedly been recovered from various UFO crash sites throughout the world really are alien to Earth, and if they indeed are members of some higher order of intelligence (perhaps Seraphim, the 'fiery flying serpents,' which were originally created by God), then there may be a very real physical aspect to at least certain parts of the heavenly picture. It sure seems a bit silly for there to be such a massive material universe out there, and all of it unused for life, besides this small orb. If that turned out to be the truth, I'd consider it to be the most truly amazing revelation of all time. I have frequently considered that possibility, despite the strange range of paranormal occurrences that I've had. If even a few of the things that I have seen and experienced are actually 'strong delusions,' then I would advise myself to constantly reevaluate my interpretations of what I have experienced. One of the most bizarre things of all, is when I later confronted the people that are responsible for the demented 'mugging' that I have been complaining about throughout these files, one of them said: 'Isn't it wonderful? A beautiful new world,' with a very eerie, snake-like grin on his face. The same insane character also told me that the sick thing that the two of them did to me (which I have no recollection of - I have had to rely on what I have perceived through others that seem to know about it), was 'Allah's will.' Is that weird, or what? When I asked them if they were Christians (a bit earlier), they said they didn't have a problem with Jesus, but said that they 'don't push it.' Whatever that means. No doubt, they are servants of Satan. I am fairly sure that those people are on their way to hell, and they probably deserve it, especially if they've done this sort of thing to others, and even more so if they won't repent. I hope that the Lord hates them and what they do, because I sure do. --- periwink.log Unspeakably funny Sun Feb 20 2000 My mood is improving slightly. It takes a lot of mental effort on my part, to keep from becoming utterly depressed. I am sure that getting away from here, for good, is the way for me. I just have to get myself in gear, and do it. Soon, hopefully. --- nugget.log In them thar hills Thu Mar 1 2000 Maybe part of the answer to some of the deep spiritual problems that we are having throughout the world, has to do with a more thorough evangelization of the cultures that represent the largest numerical majorities on Earth - in particular, the various Asian races, which comprise more than two-thirds of the world's population. I believe that many people that are actively involved in transcontinental ministries recognize this as being true, but it appears that the greater segment of American Christendom, in general, does not. There are many reasons why the attitude of so many Americans towards Asians is so poor. The involvement of the United States in the Korean and Vietnam wars has a lot to with it, as well as more modern controversies, involving political and trade policy disagreements with nations like Japan and China, and the (potentially nuclear) tensions between the nations of Pakistan and India. Various difficulties with the OPEC combine have many Americans feeling disgruntled, as well. All of these unfortunate realties have led some of our citizens to look upon many of the Asian peoples with a mixture of suspicion and fear. Trying to sort out the situation isn't simple, because there are many complexities to ponder upon. My main intent is to remind Western Christians of several very important considerations. Throughout the cycle of woes described in the book of Revelation (16:12), we are informed of a great army of people that will be amassed at a future date. It appears that the army will be largely (if not completely) Asian. In Revelation 9:13-20, we are given a description of a vast host which will be responsible for the slaying of one-third of mankind. This incredibly destructive phase is set in motion by 'a voice from the four horns of the golden altar which is before God,' which commands four angels, bound under the river Euphrates (which, I believe, mostly courses through what is now modern-day Iraq) to be released. A trumpet, sounded by the 'sixth angel,' causes them to be freed from their imprisonment. Now listen. The loosing of those four angels of destruction leads to two hundred million people being mobilized to effect the subsequent incredible carnage. John the Revelator tells us that he specifically 'heard the number of them.' An amazingly huge fighting force. Because of the release of only four evil angels. If this is true (and of course, I believe so), this means that the nation most likely able to field such a massive attack, would be China, which contains about 1.3 billion people (India has around 750 million - I'm not certain about the remainder of the Asian population) within its borders. Less than 20 percent of China's citizens would be required to stand up such a force. By comparison, our current military incorporates less than a few percentage points of our population, which remains around only 250 million strong. We may actually have more people in our prisons (about two million), than on active military duty. Later, in Revelation 16:12, that same sixth angel pours out a vial on the Euphrates, drying it up. This is done to prepare the way for the 'kings of the east,' which are going to march westward across it, to assault Europe, Asia Minor and North Africa. This is all going to happen, eventually, but nobody knows exactly when. My contention, is that if we could somehow more effectively Christianize Asia, such horrors could be delayed, or even entirely prevented, for a significant span of time. Many of the Eastern peoples have deep, seemingly insurmountable prejudices against Christianity, and other Western traditions and practices. I cannot explain why this is. I really wish that I could, but, in many respects, it remains a mystery to me. From time to time, I have heard talk of 'Asian values' bandied about in the media, but a codified explanation of what exactly those are, seems somewhat elusive. Obviously, Satan will be able to control the non-Christian people of Earth more thoroughly than those of us that know and love Jesus Christ. If the Asian nations remain largely devoid of the knowledge of the true God, and come under more powerful Satanic control, Americans, and the Western world, will surely have much more to worry about. --- shabby.log Clean up that mess Mon Mar 6 2000 How the folks that are spying on me are accomplishing the more complicated feats of espionage that I've noted, has been on my mind for many years. I am convinced that some individual or group is able to read material that I have been composing on my computers. Since I have retrieved most of the machines that I am now using from the neighborhood refuse bins, it does not seem altogether impossible to me that some clever people might have internally bugged them with some form of digital radio transmitter (or perhaps microwave, like many modern cellular phones use), and placed them along my search path, knowing that I would retrieve and use them. Then, there is the possibility that highly sensitive electronic equipment is being used to actually decrypt the ASCII codes of characters that I am typing, through the electrical wiring matrix of the building itself. If this is the case, then my cyber-eavesdropper could reside anywhere in the building, rather than in an adjacent unit, as I have been suspecting for so long. I once owned a pair of Radio Shack plug-in intercoms that could transmit and receive voice data across electrical wiring grids; I imagine that the basic circuitry could have easily been modified to receive and decrypt any digital signal reverberations from operating computer equipment. As paranoid as it sounds, one or another of these possibilities seems to be a reality for me. The privacy of my life has been continually invaded for at least the past three or four years, and I think it's a real shame. What is most annoying about it, is the fact that so many different people appear to be involved. I am convinced that there are not only people spying on this household by using phone taps, audio bugs and digital espionage techniques, but they also seem to be reading my mail, which is definitely a Federal offense. The wrongness of these criminal acts don't seem to be registering properly in the minds of they that are guilty of perpetrating them. Rather, there appears to be a kind of perpetual dark glee emanating from the un-American clowns that have been working these fascist maneuvers upon my shabby little life. --- noetic.log A handful of magic beans Tue Mar 7 2000 Trying to gauge the electability of any of the major presidential candidates, at this point, is difficult. The three main contenders - Gore, Bush and McCain, seem to be sharing about the same amount of popularity among the pool of Americans that will be casting votes for them this November. Politics is not what I'm about, so I really don't feel comfortable trying to make sense of what has been happening. All of them seem to be fairly wily characters to me. Classic politicos. If a third-party candidate pops up, after the major parties pick their nominees, I'll bet the election will be a very close, neck-to-neck contest. McCain says that he won't run as a third-party candidate, because he is satisfied with his position in Arizona government, and with the Republican party in general. He said that he'll support the GOP nominee (who, of course, very likely will be Bush), but absolutely refused to consider being Bush's vice presidential running mate, which sort of surprised me. McCain is a proud man. Bush, and many Republican commentators seem to smugly assume that their man will be the nominee, without a doubt. That may well be so. One ugly thing that has surfaced, is what seems to be a kind of back-room Protestant gangsterism that is flourishing in North America lately. I think that it is a form of basic Christian religious (and ethnic) xenophobia, which segments of the Protestant population festers and fulminates over internally. Paranoid thoughts about never-ending waves of Mexican, Guatemalan, Ecuadorean and other Central and South Americans arriving in the USA, along with their Catholic religion and traditions, is what has many of the Protestant Christian establishment tense and dripping with sweat, I'll bet. It's hard for me to determine the merits and detriments of either the Protestant or Catholic outlook on Christianity. I am just concerned with the truth of Jesus Christ, and His return to Earth to rule this world righteously. Both of the major camps of Christianity seem to be heavily burdened with worldly traditions and political add-ons of various sorts. I have always felt a respect for what seems to be the profoundly serious nature of Catholics, but I must admit that many of the Protestant churches seem to promote a brighter, less complex form of Christian theology. The intricate complexity of Catholicism can be truly frightening. For those of you that don't know, there is an entire Catholic encyclopedia of more than twenty volumes, that details only the basic information about the history of Peter's church. A woman once told me that Jesus gave Peter the 'keys' to begin the construction of what is now Roman Catholicism; her reasoning was that since it was the first church, it should be seen as the 'right' church. I'm not so sure. What it is now, is a far cry from the first few hundred years of it's existence. The entire progression of Christianity, from the Roman genesis period, to the bewildering array of congregations nowadays, is very interesting. The Bible warns us not to become deceived by vanities and complexities, lest our salvation be robbed from us. I feel that the gospel of Jesus is very simple and easy to understand and accept, but a lot of people seem to want to make things a lot more difficult, theologically. Recently, there was a story in the media, where somebody at a southern (Protestant) university accused the Catholic church of being a 'Satanic cult.' That, I found to be pretty inflammatory, even though I am not a Catholic. What brought that person to say such a sweepingly negative thing about Catholics, I don't know, but I believe that it was out of order. It just wouldn't make sense for Catholics to be that bad. An old concern, in connection with my own internal wonderings about things Catholic, has to do with a weird patchwork quilt that is probably still hanging on a wall over at Columbus-Maryville, where I worked for a time. It absolutely radiated voodoo vibes, and I must say that it seemed decidedly antichristian, at least to me. What it was (and is, still - probably) doing there, I don't know; I believe that it was engineered as a craft project for a select group of resident orphans, by a lovely Irish girl named Joyce (who was pretty nice, actually). Something about that piece of artwork profoundly bothered me. It still does, to this day - mainly because of a negative dream that I had, months before I ever noticed it hanging on the wall. I have written extensively about these matters in some older LOG files, so I'll stop discussing them here. Anyhow, both of the major branches of Christianity seem to have their flaws; it doesn't seem fair to label one of them as being the exclusively 'wrong' variety. All Christians claim faith in Jesus, right? We should focus on Him, and not on things that divide and confuse the very serious issue of survival into God's eternity. --- throne.log Saved by the bell Sat Mar 12 2000 I have tried to stick to writing about matters that are readily understandable to the average person: basic social and spiritual concerns, rudimentary political issues, etcetera. Many of the experiences that I have had over the past decade have been very difficult for me to completely understand, especially particular classes of phenomena that might be properly classified as paranormal or metaphysical. It often disturbs me greatly to read through the vast corpus of written material that deals with unusual psycho-spiritual issues, because many of the writers seem to have iron-clad 'pet' theories about the true meaning of various unusual perceptions. The personal theories of those thousands of writers often conflict in many ways, which can leave an earnest truth-seeker feeling rather perplexed. I have come to the conclusion that there is something a bit fishy about the fact that there are so many hundreds of sets of theories about various classes of paranormal phenomena, and yet very little conclusive proof to back up much of what has been written. What I have gone through, over the past decade, has me thoroughly exasperated, and ready for a long fishing trip. Although there are certain spiritual constants that I firmly believe in, there are many secondary and tertiary issues that remain unclarified, in my mind. I know for sure that God is real. I am absolutely convinced that Jesus is the true Messiah, and coming ruler of this world. There is no doubt in my mind about the reality of the existence of the kingdom of heaven, but where it is, and what exactly it is comprised of, is still somewhat cloudy. I could write on and on, picking apart areas where my beliefs aren't definite, but I don't think it would be very productive. Living in this age, in this nation, can be deeply confounding. I really wish that I knew exactly what the Lord felt about certain issues. It can be irritating to communicate with people that hold beliefs that are either indefinite or too firm; I'd like my personal belief system to be reasonably flexible, but not too much so. I think that most Christians feel similarly. Again, many of the personal experiences that I've had, confuse me about certain spiritual issues. Some of the weirder internal psychological processes that I've noted over the years, especially leave me wondering about deep spiritual questions. Returning to considerations about the opinions of others, I often find rich veins of vanity, running through many books and articles that deal with paranormal issues. Much written material seems to revolve around the personality of the writer, which indicates to me that in all likelihood, demonic forces are at play, to some degree. I am sure of this, because I have noted countless times, behavior indicative of a severely inflated ego, in people that I had good reason to believe were being strongly influenced by disincarnate entities. All of those differing opinions can't be right. Or can they? Probably not. The fact that there is so much intense disagreement about fundamental spiritual issues, even amongst Christian denominations, indicates that there are a great many contesting personalities involved, many of which may be demonically influenced to varying levels of intensity. Many people, when considering the concept of human beings under the influence of negative spiritual entities, immediately conjure up internal mental images of crazed-looking individuals, that they might consider to be classic examples of demonic possession. Though many folks that are victims of demons may look and act strange, from my experience, the vast majority of seriously possessed people do not. In fact, I firmly believe that most humans that are demonically possessed have ordinary exteriors, and often lead average lives. Ritualistic wickedness that has existed all throughout the history of civilization, eventually places such otherwise normal individuals into situations where they 'accept' a negative social experience that is actually a spiritual transaction with evil spiritual forces, which leads to their eventual demonization, and being encircuited within the ranks of Satan's people. Something to consider carefully. The time when demonic activity is probably most obvious, is during a war, or other large-scale conflict. Another important thing to understand, is that certain very powerful evil spirits may be able to wield control over a great many humans at once. I have noticed incredible series of synchronized behavior, among people that I am sure were being 'networked' by one or more evil spirits. I have not written much about many of the internal psycho-spiritual events that I have had over the years, because I am not certain if there is any real meaning to some of them. Even though many of them are incredibly compelling, I cannot say for sure whether they are valid, and worth relating. In a way, I feel that if some of the more bizarre theories that I have were proven to be true, the shift in awareness would be too shocking for many people to experience. I have already put forth the basics of what I believe - that should be enough. --- chalice.log And through the woods Mon Mar 13 2000 The range of internal psycho-spiritual experiences that I have been having has been pretty amazing, especially over the past three or four years. I could write a fairly lengthy book, to exhaustively detail what has been 'on my mind,' but, as I have already said, a lot of it would seem extremely weird, and I have serious doubts about there being any positive value to some of what has been swirling around in my cranium. Not all of my thoughts have been especially extraordinary. A large percentage of my thinking budget is spent pondering on women, and the many mysterious issues that revolve around them. Also, I think most men have a hard time avoiding sensual thoughts about the ladies. I certainly do; it has been very difficult to focus on more serious matters, at times, because I have constantly been sidetracked by erotic thoughts about women. I now better understand why so many religious disciplines insist on sexual abstinence - sensual thinking can greatly interfere with higher mental processes. But for me, women have always been very important, and not just for purposes of sexual gratification. Their warmth, and greater degree of humanity (in certain respects) has always deeply impressed me. Most of us men are fairly insensitive and emotionally crude, which can be tiring after a while. And men that are sensitive are usually a bit creepy (at least to me). So, for more pleasant social experiences, women are the way, for the most part. Heh. Of course, some ladies don't exactly fit into the nicer personality categories; many can be pretty unpleasant. Those sorts I try to avoid, either in thought, or in person. An evil chick can really bum you out, big time. I have spent years lamenting over the disappointments that I have experienced, in association with various women. Enough about the girlies. The other, more unusual thoughts (some of which also involve women), considered as a totality, seem to involve what might be best described as an alternate reality - a 'dreamworld,' if you will. Sometimes, thoughts about this dreamworld can seem pretty darn serious. One of the main reasons that I haven't written much about these thoughts, is because of the admonishments in the Bible, that warn us about 'strong delusions' toward the end of the age. The information that I have gathered about mind-manipulation technologies, seems to indicate that it is indeed possible for thoughts to be artificially imposed upon unwary victims, perhaps even from great distances, via extremely advanced satellite-mounted particle-beam and and/or microwave technologies. Before I acquired a basic understanding of the very real technology involved in what has come to be known as 'psychotronics,' I had a number of personal experiences, that, in retrospect, seem to have had something to do with some kind of powerful, mind-altering technology. What I am saying, is that it appears that it may be possible for a paranormal event to be partially or completely created by technological means. From what I know, it sure seems to be possible. The more intensely strange internal thinking processes that I am currently concerned with, have begun over the past few years. There often seems to be a kind of piloting force involved, in many instances of these unusual mental sequences that I am familiar with. The most profound varieties only manifest sporadically, and usually involve a sequence of thoughts and events, that seem to be almost scripted or engineered. It's some real 'man behind the curtain' stuff, occasionally. Very, very weird. The complexity involved in the most bizarre synchronicities, strongly indicate to me that there is either a much higher caliber of consciousness involved in these matters, or a complex networking of multiple minds. Perhaps nonhuman intelligences are manifesting some or all of these types of bewildering phenomena. If those minds are demonic or rogue angelic, it is disturbing to consider that the Lord would allow them permission to manipulate the thoughts of human beings in such profound ways. There have been times when I have been sure that another intelligence was attempting to overlay extremely negative thoughts onto my mind. Whatever forces are involved, have often tried to make me believe that the thoughts were being generated by my own mind, when I knew for sure that they were alien in origin. I am not trying to say that my mind isn't my own, because it certainly is; I just know for sure that there have been frequent attempts to psycho-spiritually hijack it, by forces unknown to me. All of this makes me very reluctant to write about some of the odder thoughts circulating throughout my weary brain. I don't want to seriously consider anything that may have been imposed upon me by any kind of attempt at mind-control, psychotronic, occultic or otherwise. I'll just remind the readers that we are told, in the Bible, that before Christ returns, there will be 'signs and wonders' in the heavens, and on Earth, and we are also informed that the Lord has a 'secret plan' that will eventually be revealed to mankind. Some of what I have been experiencing internally (and externally) seems to jibe well with those references, but again, I'd like to be as convinced as possible that there is real merit to what I'd like to convey. I believe that others have been having similarly peculiar mentations; eventually we'll all better understand what is happening. Those of us that will be populating God's Kingdom will know for sure. --- aloha.log Don't be late Fri Mar 31 2000 Festooned with the flowery lei of fantastic confusion. This is the first LOG file that I have written in several weeks (although I have updated the SCROLL file several times throughout the past week or so; some of the material in that file really should have been used in LOG files). I am extremely aggravated, for several different reasons. The first, and most basic problem, is that I have almost no space left on my hard drive, and I am loathe to add one of the hard drives from another machine, because I have already tried to do so, and almost corrupted the main hard drive's FAT structure (which is truly a horrible thing to contemplate). Up the list are many varieties of disturbing situations and circumstances, that I won't detail here (I have already written enough about most of my life's problems, and I am sick of hearing and thinking about them myself). A very amazing thing happened the other day, which left me feeling alternately elated and irritated. I found a website that very thoroughly deals with the issues pertaining to the heavenly powers and how the Bible identifies many of them as being renegade forces, apostate to the Lord's kingdom. I am aware of practically all of the points that are covered in the site, and it was really refreshing to page through the material, and realize that there are at least a few other people that are hip to at least some of what I think I know. From my many experiences and insights that I have gained from subsequent research into paranormal phenomena, I believe that the 'possibility' of life existing elsewhere in this very solar system, perhaps in another time/space zone (accessible only by utilization of extremely advanced mechanical and/or spiritual technologies) is very real, and that much of what is so deeply confusing and mysterious about this world, and its often spiritually confounding affairs, can be seen in a clearer light, when considering spiritual interactions between regular human consciousness, and the more advanced heavenly beings, who seem to have intensely evil motives at times. No one can fully understand the type of ordeal that I have been enduring, unless they have experienced (or are experiencing) something similar; there is no doubt in my mind that there really are disincarnate beings, that are able to powerfully influence human minds, to varying degrees. Weaker-minded and emotionally insecure folks appear to be especially vulnerable to their manipulations, but most of the general population of humanity seems to be influenced at times by such maleficent spirit forces. It has taken me a lot of time to reach a point where I can feel entirely confident about saying these things. The people that are the most thoroughly possessed of all, often appear to be in positions of 'authority,' which certainly can be depressing. The children of Satan are everywhere, and one great irony of it all, is that so few of them seem to consciously realize that they are truly under the control of the Serpent. I know that it is so, because Satan has been trying to manipulate and control my life for many, many years, and I have gone through many extremely harrowing phases to come to the full realization of all of this. It was very weird to read through that webpage, and consider that I have been seriously pondering upon all of these topics for so many years, and have received nothing but ridicule for my efforts. --- ao.log looking for the lost little ship Thu Jun 22 2000 This has been one of the very longest periods of time that I have gone without making any new LOG entries, although I have made periodic notes in a file named SCROLL.TXT (and SCROLL2.TXT). I have done a lot of reflecting, and I feel that I am now ready to begin writing journal entries again. One of the greatest problems that I have had over the past few years, has been the fact that I have had many extremely odd experiences that I have not chronicled in any way at all, because many of them defy description, or would be very difficult for most people to take seriously (especially when described in an imperfect written form). I suspect that many people have such types of maddeningly difficult-to-define events in their lives, and that most such occurrences go completely unrecorded. Largely, for fear that others would begin to perceive the experiencers as insane or mentally unstable to some degree, I'm sure. I have noticed peculiar things all throughout the course of my life to date, but some of the stuff that has eventuated over the past few years has been absolutely incredible. Even though I know for certain that I am very mentally stable, long, bitter experience has shown me that others are very quick to attempt to accuse a person of being mentally ill, if the more unusual categories of life experience are slapped down on the conversational table. Even if the critical voices are fully cognizant of the reality and importance of various uncomfortable realities and issues, they will pretend not to understand, in order to preserve their own psycho-spiritual equilibrium. At least, that's the way that I have been making sense out of the deep, utterly entrenched denial that I have been encountering, regarding the mechanics of the ugly 'system' that is steadily destroying our nation and world. There are even weirder things, beyond the nastiness of the 'system' that I have experienced - mostly internal spiritual events (but a few very profound external ones as well) - that I haven't written about much, or at all. I am no different from most people, in the sense that I don't want anyone to think that I have lost my marbles (I haven't!). So, I have carefully avoided describing in detail some things that I have noticed. Another part of the reason why has to do with the admonitions in the Bible about 'strong delusion' toward the end of this age. We are informed that many of the end-time spiritual deceptions will be so good, that many of the old prophets would be fooled, if they were here at this time. I am trying to stay calm about some of the stuff that I have seen, because with what appears to be a vast high-technology cover-up conspiracy going on behind-the-scenes, I feel sure that there is not only 'something rotten in Denmark,' but that there may be some unthinkably advanced power in the hands of some completely corrupt, spiritually decayed people. On a lighter note, I have decided to embark on another new writing project; actually it will be a combination of a literary work and a computer program. That's all I want to say for now. I thank God for being so merciful to me, and helping me with my miserable life. --- chorum.log The mansions are ready Sun Jun 25 2000 Well, I have almost finished my annual overhaul of this room; I have stored almost all of the boxes of magazines and tabloids away, and that has given me a bit more floor space (because I was able to shift around a lot of clothing sacks). I am happy that I have been able to email various people and organizations; I finally got a response from Psion customer support, but the RMA number issue has not yet been resolved. Also, I got a response from Eleanor Academia, which sort of surprised me (I wrote her a slightly weird letter about a year ago, which she didn't respond to). A really great development, is that the Bezazian library has acquired three more public access Internet terminals (only one is currently operating, but the others will be up and running soon). They were a gift from the heroic Bill Gates, and his lovely wife, Melinda (I think - I've never seen her). I think that Gates and Microsoft are swell for doing that. I still remember back in the mid-eighties, when Apple had some kind of 'computers in the classroom' initiative happening - they were giving away (or maybe, in certain instances, offering them at reduced prices) Apple computers to public schools and other institutions. Unfortunately, those units only enjoyed a short span of popularity, and are now utterly outmoded. They were nice little machines though, offering two versions of BASIC (integer and floating-point). It's really scary to think of how swiftly the computer revolution has taken place. I still remember playing the original Zork (a text adventure game) on a DEC PDP-11 over at Truman College, and fiddling around with the plasma screen Plato terminals (sort of a forerunner of the Internet). I was so excited to be able to buy one of those little Radio Shack 4K pocket computers, that had a small built-in BASIC interpreter. Now, you can get a true multimedia (video, audio) computer system that will comfortably fit into a large pocket. It's all too much for my little head. I have been praying a lot, and although there have been times when I have felt that things would not improve, at this moment it seems likely that they will, eventually. It's up to God. I hope that He will come through for me, because I have been trying (in my feeble, very imperfect way) to be helpful to Him. I certainly don't think that I deserve His help - I am quite sure that there are a great many other people that are more needful. But I am still hoping. Sometimes, I think about the fact that there are many people all over the world, that are scrounging around in garbage dumps, looking for the slimiest bits of food imaginable. They are on nearly every continent, even within Europe. Most of them would never even dream of finding some of the nice stuff that I have. This nation is materially blessed, in a big way. I just hope that these people finally realize that all of these objects are not worthy of worship. In a million years, it will probably all be dust. It would be nice if more folks really understood the temporal nature of matter. Maybe then, there would be less morbid materialism. I am constantly reminded of the archetype of a smoke-snorting dragon, greedily curled around a pile of glittering treasure, deep within some dismal subterranean chamber. That's the vibe I get from too many people nowadays, especially the money-worshippers in the general media. A 'lost' Pokemon episode is going to be broadcast this morning. I wonder what it's about? --- enlist.log Sir, yes sir Thu Jun 29 2000 Ten hut! Today I joined the Bjork army. Yes, really - there is some kind of email subscription service called 'Army of Bjork' that forwards Bjork-related information (at this point, it is mostly about the new movie, 'Dancer in the Dark,' in which she appears) along to people that add themselves to the 'listbot' list. Army, indeed. I find all of the dozens of Bjork sites on the Internet to be highly interesting and generally amusing, although I am really much more interested in finding out what sorts of conversations her fans are having via chat services and newsgroup postings (I haven't yet learned how to access the newsgroup archives from public Internet terminals). There is one discussion group titled 'alt.icelandic.waif.bjork' that is probably full of weird (and informative, I'm sure) postings by Bjork fans. I can't wait to read through that sort of material. I have also learned that there are several Bjork 'experts' that are eager to answer any and all questions about her via email. I seriously doubt that they could provide answers to some of the questions that I have. Heh. I don't want to become an Internet zombie, so I will try to limit the time that I spend on the Internet to only a few hours a day. I have been carefully accumulating a lot of great textual information - I now own a large collection of conspiracy theory files, many of which are fascinating (also, some of them are kind of silly). Filing away all of this material, in as organized a way as possible, is very satisfying. Eventually, I would like to store it all on CDs. It is good to have large amounts of digital information amassed. Everyone probably believes that there will never be a time when Internet access will be ceased. The more I think about it, the less enthused I feel about trying to write a detailed account of the strange psycho-spiritual experiences that I have had over the past ten or so years. Only people that have had similar journeys would understand, and most of them would probably feign ignorance about some of the stranger aspects of what I would like to describe. What's the use in trying to flesh out the details of what may be happening, when everyone has already 'agreed' to believe that certain realities are nonexistent? The general societal consensus, is that people that dare to try and logically describe certain categories of psycho-spiritual experience are 'crazy' or worse. I am sure that many, many folks have had bizarre encounters similar to some of mine; the only difference between me and them, essentially, is that I am trying to better understand my peculiar experiences, rather than ignoring them. I think that the power of fear and shame is what allows some of the most evil spiritual forces to gradually chip away the basic foundation of decency in civilizations where they are engaged in destructive operations. The only thing that can create healthy change, is for the people to squarely face the horror of what has been happening, rather than continuing to goofily laugh about the despicable 'traditions' that have been utterly undermining and eroding everything that is good about American and Western civilization. These systematic evils are exactly the reason why things are moving along towards a bad end. The Lord tells us that He is going to 'destroy them that destroy the earth.' The angelic forces that will be dispatched by the Lord for destructive purposes are literally going to be the executors of the wrath of God. If these foolish people would finally understand that the way that they 'do things' is wrong, maybe God would have mercy on us, and delay the future period of violent destruction that is described in the Bible. That time will arrive, eventually, of course - it has been promised. My argument, is that if the people would realize that they are angering the Lord, by continuing their sinister ritualistic practices (the Mystery Babylon and Mark of the Beast stuff), maybe we could have a time of true enlightenment before those final events occur. God has promised to deliver those of us that love Him, from the intensity of His wrath. He has also promised to 'pour out His spirit upon all flesh.' Maybe there will be a powerful movement of the Lord, just prior to the endtime events. I sure hope so. --- orangey.log You're in the army now Sat Jul 3 2000 What luck! I helped a friend of [NAME DELETED]'s to move some items into large storage containers, and the guy actually gave me a really nice laptop computer, with, get this, one of those fantastic gas plasma screens that I like so much. I am typing this file on it right now. An ancient machine, for sure (the BIOS is from 1988), but talk about great! This is too cool! At first, it appeared that there might be some problems with the display, but happily, they have completely cleared up. It operates perfectly, but either there is no hard drive, or it is inaccessible (it might need a special driver). Strangely, it is a GRID laptop; I very nearly bought one when I was working with [NAME DELETED] at Anatomical. I would have spent about $600 bucks on it then. Also, I was very close to purchasing one from a guy that worked with me over at Columbus-Maryville, for about $400. God is really good to me. Another thing, is that I got to see (the very lovely) [NAME DELETED] again ([NAME DELETED] and I helped her to move about a year ago), who I really liked. She'd been having a bad day when we met her, but cheered up somewhat after we got moving along (a cabdriver gave her car a jump - it wouldn't start). The guy that gave me the laptop ([NAME DELETED]) is Pakistani, and is dating [NAME DELETED]. They seemed to be fairly happy together, which was nice to see. [NAME DELETED] was really cool with [NAME DELETED] and I - she bought us dinner and beer, which was very kind. While [NAME DELETED] and I were working together, I learned that he briefly worked for Metro again (doing security); he said that some dudes got jealous about him flirting with a girl, and callously fired him. Those are the breaks, I guess. I told him that Shanahan (the main Metro owner and manager) would probably hire him, if he took the time to approach the guy in the proper manner, at the right time. --- langle.log Time wrinkles Tue Jul 4 2000 Well, the display problems (on the Grid laptop) haven't gone away; there is a constant flickering, and parts of the gas plasma screen are double-imaged and more or less unreadable. Hopefully, I can get it repaired for a reasonable price. It's a very nice machine. I was going to write a long, detailed explanation of some slightly strange theories that I have about women, but I am (suddenly, of course) beginning to feel very tired. Probably, some of what I'd write would seem rather nonsensical, but it makes perfect sense to me, at least some of the time, in certain situations. What it boils down to (my theory), is that if you really carefully think about it, there seems to be a lot more psychical activity amongst women. My use of the term psychical is meant to distinguish what I consider to be the more complex and rare 'spiritual' experiences from the day-in and day-out common psychic phenomena, like 'hunches,' 'gut feelings' and the like. I feel very sure that a great deal of what people consider to be psychic phenomena is demonic in nature. Meaning, human consciousness directed in various (usually subtle, but occasionally frighteningly powerful) ways, with a resulting shift or complete change in consciousness and/or emotional constitution. To be blunt, I feel that women are far less resistant to the various demonic methods of psycho-spiritual manipulation. Certainly, there are men that could be easily seen as exceptions, more able to be influenced or directly controlled by inclement spiritual forces, but the majority of such people appear to be of the female gender. The story of the deception of Eve in the Garden of Eden seems to suggest that women are more easily duped by wicked spirit forces. I find it remarkable that so many people seem to accept the concept of communications with the dead, 'aliens,' various allegedly advanced spirit beings, etcetera, without at all seriously considering the possibility that such intelligences may in fact be of demonic origin. Demons are spoken of all throughout the Bible, Jesus mentioned them frequently, and was continually casting them out of people. At one point in the New Testament, a demon says to Jesus: 'What have we to do with you, Son of Man? Have you come to torment us before the time?' That is extremely interesting, don't you think? The demons all knew exactly who Jesus was, but most humans that Jesus met did not. The demons even knew that they were scheduled for future torment, and that Jesus would be instrumental in administering their fate. I haven't fully outlined my thoughts about women, as regards what appears to be their greater sensitivity to psychical phenomena (and demonic activity), but I am sure of this - people that are possessed or heavily influenced by demons usually have a great aversion to discussions that touch on the future judgments of God. --- fragile.log Golly they're jolly Thu Jul 6 2000 I wish that this display weren't flickering - it's really aggravating. I am psyched about this cool machine, but I've got to get it repaired. If I didn't like it as much as I do, I'd try to do it myself. I probably could, but there are so many things that can go wrong when trying to fix a complex piece of equipment like this. It has a little bit of expanded memory (up to 1 meg), so I've configured a small ramdrive, and loaded DOS and the TSRs high. The result is that almost all of the conventional memory is available. That's good. Boring stuff to write about, really. But it's great fun to tinker with old computers. At least I think so. Like yesterday, I initially wanted to write more about the ideas that I have about connections between women and renegade spirits, but I have once again become very tired. It's almost as if something is trying to keep me from writing about certain topics. This has me feeling that there may be some substance to these unrefined theories of mine. As I previously mentioned, I really haven't deliberated enough internally, to say that I really have come to any hard conclusions about what I feel may be possible. It's just that I have had so many unusual experiences involving women, that I really feel that there is a lot more spiritual complexity to their gender than most men, and people in general, believe. I am trying to think of a starting point, for outlining my theories, but where to begin exactly is difficult to say. Some of the material that I would like to write, sadly, probably will never be written, because just thinking about some of the high weirdness that I have dealt with throughout my life thus far, is bewildering and emotionally exhausting. It's not like I'm some wilted little poppy, or anything, but the more bizarre stuff dredges up some very powerful, almost indefinable feelings, that get in the way of my attempts to rationally describe what I am hoping to explain. Well, one of the feelings isn't all that hard to describe; many times, when I begin trying to write about certain strange spiritual matters, I get a kind of 'I want to get drunk' feeling. Now, I am not an alcoholic at all (although there certainly have been times when I have consumed alcoholic beverages to excess), and I hardly ever get that kind of 'crave' feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I kind of wonder why it eventuates when I'm trying to write about particular topics. Another feeling that usually occurs, that is easy to describe, is an almost overwhelmingly powerful sadness. What is so peculiar about the sadness, is that it isn't based on any definite event. It's just there, and very, very heavy. There are various internal mental images that might be connected to these feelings of sadness that I have, but they are not familiar ones. At least not consciously. I have wondered constantly about whether there is any deeper significance to what appear to be congruencies and coincidences between the waking and dream states. Many of the images appear to be from my dreams, but because of the sorrowful feelings attached to them, I have considered the possibility that there may be more depth of meaning to them. The sadness is the kind that you have when you are having a bad dream, where something absolutely terrible happens, and you feel deep feelings of grief, right before you wake up and realize that it was only a dream after all. The only difference, is that I am feeling that level of woe while I am wide awake, when I try to examine and logically piece together some of the connections between my waking and dream states. --- oddly.log Fair and square Tue Jul 7 2000 I neglected to mention several different events that have occurred over the past few weeks: I worked for the load-out of the No Doubt show over at the Aragon on July 8th. Jolly from Jam said that he'd hire me to work for more shows, but I might have to go through the drudgery of finally going to get a state I.D. card. I am waiting for him to either call, or send me a check in the mail. [NAME DELETED] actually wrote me a letter (which I received the day after her 13th birthday), which greatly relieved me, because of the extremely paranoid thoughts that have been developing in my mind, re my theories as to why exactly [NAME DELETED] seemed to be roadblocking my communications with her. [NAME DELETED] expressed some fairly hostile sentiments towards me, and I can't say that I blame her for many of them, but she also seems ready to begin to interact with me at some point in the near future. As I have written in previous files, I began to feel more and more suspicious about the possibility of [NAME DELETED] and/or her family and friends involving [NAME DELETED] in the disgusting generational 'traditions' that so many Americans gleefully engage in. Of course, I am talking about child molestation, and the many variations of ritual abuse. I am no stranger to the dark reality of those practices, and how frighteningly widespread they are. People that are truly unaware of such horrors would be really surprised if they knew how common certain varieties of evil are, and how diligently certain individuals, families and organizations work to prevent the cessation of such ungodly activities. I firmly believe that the generally unwholesome aura that permeates our society, is largely due to the overspreading of such abominations, and the arrogance of the practitioners, as regards their attitude when squarely confronted with the depth of their collective spiritual sickness, by those of us that are standing against 'what they do,' and the sorrowful results that can be seen by any honest, God-fearing person with the ability to correctly discern true spiritual wickedness. Anyhow, [NAME DELETED] wrote in her letter to me, that [NAME DELETED] has never layed hands on her. I certainly hope that is true. God help him, if it isn't. [end of selected LOG extracts] Copyright 1999, 2000 Terry Washington aka Phoenixx 1048 W Winona 3E Chicago IL 60640-3125 773-561-0737 HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.html I am seeking an honest literary agent, to assist me in publishing a complete book of my log entries (and a volume of poetry, which is entitled 'Odhinn Voodoo Buddha'). The entire text of this document may be downloaded from: HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm (or) HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.htm For a subscription to the PSIONIC WAR DIGITAL JOURNAL, which provides readers with a 1.44MB (DOS format, PC-compatible) floppy disk, absolutely loaded with information on the harrowing experiences of many mind-control cult victims (from all over the world), as well as a great amount of good information on many other interesting topics, such as: Black Helicopters; Demonic Possessions; Ancient Indian Legends; Psychotronic Weaponry; Alien Encounters and Abductions; Hidden Underground Civilizations; Theories on Extraterrestrial Origins and more, divide a donation of any amount (please include at least enough to cover the cost of materials and postage) between my (T.W.) mailing address, and the following (the PWDJ co-editor): Stephen Wilson (aka Samadhi) 1710 W Greenleaf Apt 3L Chicago IL 60626 773-465-7995 HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/meth/meth.htm samadhiw@aol.com Either of us will gratefully accept computer components, peripherals, floppy disks, etcetera, in lieu of cash. Please help us to increase the general awareness level, regarding psychotronic technology and other, associated matters. Thank you very much for your time and support - may the Lord bless you and everyone that you care for, and please, speak out loudly against the sinister mind-control cults and every variety of dangerous psychotronic weaponry. An article by Stephen Wilson, co-editor of the PSIONIC WAR DIGITAL JOURNAL, follows; it is a brief outline of exactly what psychotronic warfare technology is all about. Please read the information carefully... On certain psychotronic weapons warfare methodologies: The technology involved affects the nervous system, electroencephalogram (EEG) data, and electrophysiology in general. This means behavioral and physiological effects, brain states and evoked potential can be remotely induced, meaning entrainment of the brain waves and mind of the subject. In other words, mind-control and manipulation of biological processes can be achieved. Emotional states indicated by electroencephalographic frequencies such as alpha, beta, theta, delta, can be manifested by this neurological coupling. Furthermore, a very disconcerting phenomenon of audible sound (Synthetic Telepathy) perceptible to the victim, as well as extraction of brain wave electromagnetic data to the extent of thought content can be considered a cybernetic reality, in which under the wrong circumstances human rights abuses and the general invasion of the privacy of thought can occur. With this technology, the mind can be read and accessed, and the victim interrogated in his own home, or anywhere, against his will. Also, physical torture (pain induction, electroshock by the use of Directed Energy Weapons [DEW]) is often combined with psychological operations (Psyops), after a period of surveillance/strip-mining of the mind, for future purposes of manipulation and inducement of altered behavioral patterns. In addition, techniques that result in the destruction of the economic well-being (Economic Warfare), theft of intellectual property, and adverse effects on social relations of the subject (via stalking and harassment techniques), are often used. These methods can be used to isolate and ultimately portray the viciim as suffering from paranoid schizophrenia (hearing intra-cranial voices, suffering from fits of violent rage, etcetera), or other psychological syndromes, when in truth all such phenomena may in fact have been remotely induced electronically (psychotronically) in a most malicious manner. This includes physical pain to the extent of actually developing serious internal injuries. Additional set-up scenarios are used in further dark psychological methodologies involving 'street actors' in obnoxious and very often ludicrous (seemingly scripted) 'street plays,' and persons hired to broadcast irritating intra-cranial messages to the subject 24 hours a day. These different techniques, when used in combinations, over extended periods of time, can result in very debilitating physical, spiritual and psychological states for victims. This covert Unconventional Warfare is used as an urban combat technique. The physical mechanism of affecting human (and animal) victims is some form of complex energy wave coupling, perhaps akin to the magneto-electroencephalogram (MEG) and other aspects of the human bio-field. This may be achieved via implantation, biological telemetry - combined with, or by Directed Energy alone. The outcome is brainwashing to the extreme. This telemetry and Directed Energy can be defined in physical parameters of FREQUENCY and POWER densities as well as be demodulated with the correct receivers after an initial spectral analysis is made of the electromagnetic spectrum. Magnetic properties of induction and receiver characteristics of gain are technical considerations when a receiver in the human or other type of body is used. Telemetry to and from a biological process, organ or implant can be amplified and repeated from various remote or local transmitters; in fact, the same biological implant or telemetered effect can be affected by several transmitters or read by several receivers. This is another cybernetic systems concept in which the human mind can be considered as a node on a network (which can also be 'hacked'). Information flow both to and from the human 'node' can be achieved using this technology, thus the concept of programming in the literal sense might be an appropriate description. This cold description of the human condition as a cyborg is at least more humane then the malicious acts of unknown technocratic sadists who have invaded your thoughts, and proceed to electroshock you to induce urination, explode your stomach and bowels or induce pressure waves within your skull via thermoelastic expansion of brain fluid (as small thermal changes induce thermal expansions of the brain fluids) via radio frequencies transmitted to your skull. A computer network would not do these things nor would a friend. Don't let your mind be hacked by the enemy. S. Wilson 9pm - Thu-03-Jun-1999 Closing comment by Phoenixx: it is very difficult for many folks to fully believe that such mind-bending technology actually exists - but it does, and it is very bad news for all people that love the concept of living free. If you choose to ignore the implications of the negative impact that such incredibly manipulative technologies will have upon the world of tomorrow, let alone the world of today, eventually, you will very likely wish that you hadn't, because some very hellish times are ahead of us, if the wicked wizards of psychotronic warfare are going to have it their way. Don't foolishly subscribe to their fascist worldview, which is even worse than the mentality of the Nazi war criminals from World War II. Rather, be a smart Pokemon, and subscribe to the PSIONIC WAR DIGITAL JOURNAL, and join us in our glorious mission to keep the United States, and the rest of the world, as free as possible from the deep-dish darkness of mind-control weapons and evil psychological warfare methodologies. Would you like a happy li'l ride in a boxcar with handcuffs welded inside of it? Funny? I certainly don't think so. Just one potentially unfolding scenario, that you can learn about, in the PSIONIC WAR DIGITAL JOURNAL. Kindly forgive any typographic errors and irritating opinions. Please pray for the editors. Thank you. Ciao. --- Selected LOG entries --- Version 1.4 Copyright 1999, 2000 Terry Washington aka Phoenixx 1048 W Winona 3E Chicago IL 60640-3125 773-561-0737 HTTP://members.tripod.com/~mdars/experiences/ter.htm HTTP://www.angelfire.com/journal/archer/index.htm phoenixx100@hotmail.com This file was last updated on Thursday, July 13th, 2000 at 3:03am. Notes: TER.TXT Ver 1.4 (C) 1999, 2000 Terry Washington aka Phoenixx Permission is granted by the author to copy and redistribute the entire text of this document, provided it remains unchanged and complete, and that the companion document (OVB.TXT) is included in its entirety. All rights reserved QWALITY PRODUKT US of A End of TER.TXT [end of TER3.TXT]