Send Me Money!!!
Don't forget to read the WHOLE thing!!!
This is an article I read that I thought made a lot of CENTS:
HOW TO BAG THE BUCKS
5 Basic Laws of cyber begging:
1. Be funny:
If your after hits nothing will spread
the word like laughs. And when people
laugh they're happy. When they're happy
their purse strings loosen. Bingo!
2. If youre not going to be funny, at
least be pathetic. "Honestly I dont
think that anyone, not one person,
will send me one dollar," moans a
sorry character at PLEASE SEND ME MONEY!!!!
who has learned to capatilize on his
wretchedness. "Someone please prove me
wrong."
3. Make no promises. If there is one
thing that turns off potential donors,
its the implication that they might get
something decent in return. They dont
want you to come over and clean their
windshield or sing show tunes off key.
Nothing seems to work better for online
beggars than emphasizing that this is
a one-way street.
4. If you must show gratitude, be original.
Offer to send a message of thanks on a
balloon into an outer galaxy. Or to make
your next birthday wish a prayer for your
donors health. Whatever you do, make it
different, memorable, ridiculous.
5. Get Greedy! Dont sit back and gloat over
a $1.00 donation. Take, for example,
Reynolds Kosloskey, webmaster of Save the
Suburbinites, who says "One of these days,
some bored multimillionairre might just
decide to send us away on our million
dollar worldwide trip."
Thats the spirit - go for the gold!!!
Okay, well now Im going to try to make this
as perfect as possible so here goes...
First of all I would like to tell you a bit
about me and why I NEED this money so badly.
Well...I have a dream!!!
Have you ever seen the movie Cocktail?
My dream is similar to his dream...only with
a lot more sex and a lot less babies...
I want to open a nightclub.
Not just any nightclub, a BIG, AWESOME, nightclub. Something that will attract people from all over the world. I need $200,000. dollars to open it and I could use your help.
Currently I manage an apartment complex and I am enrolled in school. The apartment complex I manage and also live in is in the "hood". My son and I have to live here in the hood until I make enough money to leave. Being that this a a nowhere job that will probably NEVER happen.
When the other children from my neighbor"hood" come over to play with my son they usually leave with 2 or 3 toys and if I tell them to leave the toys they usually pull a switchblade/gun out on me. I have a horrible boss, no money or even future money for my sons education and I get no support. On top of it all I havent been laid in about 8 months now...It gets worse too...When I was a child my parents beat me and the rest of the time they were ignoring me.
Now I dont have anything to give to you in return besides maybe naming my next child after you, but just think of all the gratification you will recieve from knowing you have helped a waif like me.
I need a job to go to everyday where I can be myself... Grow some dreads, wear really short skirts with no panties and really work on perfecting my "trashy look"!!!
I hope this hasn't brought you down too much. Perhaps I will tell you a joke to cheer you up.
This guy was in the waiting room of the hospital waiting for his wife to have their baby. Suddenly the nurse walks out with a baby lying in her arms wrapped in a blue blanket. She says, "congratulations Sir you have a brand new beautiful baby boy.". She starts to walk towards him to show him the baby and suddenly drops the baby on the floor. She scrambles to pick the baby up, while he stands there watching in horror...she says "Oh dont worry sir, babies are resiliant, they can take a lot" she starts walking to him again and drops the baby AGAIN. She scrambles to pick it up again and he starts yelling at her. "what the hell are you doing to my baby?" He starts running towards her and she stops him and says "Sir, please calm down, I told you babies are tough...see?" and she starts slamming the baby against the wall. The fathers face is gaping with horror.
She said "See? I told you they are strong" and throws the baby on the floor and kicks him against the wall. The father just stands there in shock. She then picks the baby back up and smiles at the man...She says "I was just kidding, the baby is stillborn."
What????
You didn't like that joke???
Well, those are the only jokes we hear in the "hood".
SO SEND ME MONEY!!!!
Send Me Money
c/o Leslie S.
1144 16th Ave. South
B'ham, AL. 35205
p.s. My birthday is on August 31st and noone ever gives me any presents!! Why not break the cycle??
