(I would like to thank the wonderful, all-knowing,
guitar sensei Marty for the inspiration of this
creation...happy now?!)

Stupidity and humor is all around us, you just need to know where it hides. Fortunately, my friends unearth large amounts of both.

I want to be dysfuntional, but I'm not allowed! -Sandra ----------------------------------------------- Why would they burn a cd? Wouldn't that melt it!? Does that big button on the phone that says "Page" used when you want to page someone? How do they get the icing in the middle of the cake? -Alicia --------------------------------------------- Sometimes, I catch random stupidity on the streets. Here is one such example: "Like oh my God, I bought these jeans from Express and there was this EXP on the label and I didn't know what it meant!" -Stupid girl walking down street --------------------------------------------------- I heard this one courtesy of my friend Katie: We're studing Africa in Geography class and looking through a book at pictures of Ethiopia. This one girl is looking at a photograph of these little children looking puzzled and asks the teacher: "Mr. Flohr, you know those things they show in tv where they ask you to send in money to feed hungry children? - well, are these those kids because they look familiar." If I had an idiot award, she'd be my first recipient.

Thank you Alan

The person who wrote this chain letter needs to have the keyboard removed from them to prevent any future displays of stupidity such as this. 1.PICK YOUR FAVORITE COLOR OUT OF THESE CHOICES: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE 2.PICK AN ANIMAL DOG, CAT, RABBIT, SNAKE, TIGER, FISH 3.PICK A FLOWER: ROSE or TULIP 4.WHO WOULD YOU RATHER LISTEN TO: LIMP BIZKIT, N'SYNC, JAY Z 5.WHERE WOULD YOU RATHER GO ON YOUR HONEYMOON: HAWAII or NEW YORK 6.WHICH MOVIE WOULD YOU RAHER SEE: MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE or HALF BAKED 7.NAME OF PERSON OF OPPOSITE SEX 8.THE TIME NOW 9.YOUR AGE 10.YOU DONT HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN, BUT MAKE A WISH! ***************ANSWERS***ANSWERS***ANSWERS************* 1. RED-ROMANTIC ORANGE-HYPER YELLOW-CHEERFUL GREEN-WACKY BLUE-UNIQUE 2.CAT-FEMINE DOG-CALM RABBIT-CHILDISH SNAKE-INTERGETIC TIGER-STRONG FISH-BORING 3.ROSES-SWEET & TULIPS-CURIOUS 4.LIMP BIZKIT-PREPPY N'SYNC-SWEET JAY Z-Fun 5.HAWAII-ROMANTIC & NY-UNIQUE 6.MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE-SWEET & HALF BAKED-FUN 7.THIS PERSON WILL HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU! 8.THIS IS HOW MUCH TIME YOU HAVE TO FORWARD THIS (5:15= 5hours and 15minutes) 9.THIS IS HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO. 10.YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE IF YOU DO NUMBERS 8 & 9

Ok. Here is a rather amusing conversation my good buddy Miss. Leonardi had with an anonymous ex of mine...mwhahahha. I guess you'd have to know the "mystery man" to see the humor in this, but oh well. btw, those screen names have been changed, so neeeeeee to you all. JamieTheWeird: Hello. My name is Jamie Leonardi. I work for a private cosmetic surgeon and we're taking an extremely short survey to be able to further benefit our clients. Would you like to participate? gniKbeeF: um gniKbeeF: how long will it take? JamieTheWeird: It's only one question. gniKbeeF: ok gniKbeeF: shoot JamieTheWeird: We're currently helping some of our burn patients currently regrow their scalp, eyebrows, and eyelases. My question for you is: If you could describe the shape of your eyebrows in one word, what would it be? gniKbeeF: dark JamieTheWeird: That's the SHADE of your eyebrows, not the SHAPE, sir. JamieTheWeird: Can you please be a little more specific? gniKbeeF: my eyebrows are large thick and black: bushy if you will JamieTheWeird: Alright. Thank you very much, sir. gniKbeeF: is this for real? gniKbeeF: or are you jut messing around/. gniKbeeF: ? JamieTheWeird: Yes, sir. Why wouldn't it be? gniKbeeF: just wondering gniKbeeF: nevermind JamieTheWeird: The loss of hair for burn victims is a very serious problem. JamieTheWeird: It's no laughing matter. gniKbeeF: yeah gniKbeeF: i know JamieTheWeird: Then please don't doubt my validity and make yourself sound like an ass. gniKbeeF: well looking at your profile gniKbeeF: it just struck me as odd JamieTheWeird: I am a teenager. gniKbeeF: ok JamieTheWeird: But I have a job as well. gniKbeeF: i figured that JamieTheWeird: Thank you for your time, sir. gniKbeeF: well good luck to you JamieTheWeird: Do you have any more questions for ME? gniKbeeF: no JamieTheWeird: Thank you. gniKbeeF: thank you gniKbeeF: good eve JamieTheWeird: Oh, sir, excuse me again please. Our doctor just informed me that he wants to ask another question to those who described their eyebrows as "bushy" or "full". Would you be willing to answer just one or two more questions, perhaps? gniKbeeF: sure JamieTheWeird: Sir, many of our clients are worried about the condition the general public refers to as a "uni-brow", which may occour after the hair grafts have been accomplished. Have you ever personally experienced having a "uni-brow", and if so, what did you do about it? gniKbeeF: no i have not JamieTheWeird: Have your eyebrows ever been the subject of teasing or taunting? gniKbeeF: some JamieTheWeird: Thank you sir. This is only to quell our patients fears. That will be all my questions. Thank you very much. gniKbeeF: but not too much JamieTheWeird: That's very good. gniKbeeF: sure *evil sadistic laughter radiates throughout the room*