A Smart Move
Four guys are driving cross-country together. One is from Idaho, one from Iowa, one from Illinois and one from Wisconsin.
A bit down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes from his bag and throws them out the window. The man from Iowa turns to him and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The man from Idaho says, "Man, we have so many of these damned things in Idaho, they're laying around on the ground - I'm sick of looking at them!"
A few miles further down the road, the man from Iowa begins pulling ears of corn from his bag and throwing them out the window. The man from Wisconsin asks "What are you doing that for?" The man from Iowa replies, "Man, we have so many of these damned things in Iowa, I'm sick of looking at them!"
Inspired by the others, the man from Wisconsin opens the car door and pushes out the man from Illinois.
A Question of Balance
Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him on the seventh day resting. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"
God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look Michael, look what I've made."
Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?". "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."
"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth, "For example, Northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while Southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."
The Archangel, impressed by Gods work, then pointed to a large land mass. "What's that one?" he asked.
"Ah," said God. "That's Wisconsin, the most glorious place on Earth. There's beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and an exquisite shore-line along the Great Lakes. The people from Wisconsin are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace. I'm also going to give them super-human, undefeatable football team who will be admired and feared by all who come across them."
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed "What about balance, God? You said there will be BALANCE!"
God replied wisely. "Wait until you see the loud-mouth idiots I'm putting next to them in Illinois and Minnesota."
It's Pronounced "Oconomowoc", Don'tcha Know?
Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they approached Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
"As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, 'Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are . . . very slowly?'
"The blond leaned over the counter and slowly said, 'Burrrr gerrrr Kiiiing.' "
Why I Love Wisconsin Winters
It's winter in Wisconsin
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Wisconsin
When the snow's up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Wisconsin,
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.
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