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                       Another Foggy Moment

      These are the continuing adventures of a typical resident
      of the self-proclaimed center of the Pugetopolis universe -
      Seattle. Most are true stories but some are made of whole-
      cloth. I ain't the Mayor, the Governor or a Big Shot. Just
      another Working Stiff with a Bad Attitude.

                     THIS AIN'T NO STINK'N BLOG

         WARNING: This is not a Child-Proof Neighborhood.
         If you're a kid - scram!, beat it! you little
         punk before your Old Lady catches you and calls
         the cops. They'll throw you in the Big House in
         Walla Walla and won't let you out until you're
         89 years old. There. Don't say I didn't warn you.

                             - 475 -
 "The Days" (1886)
 Thomas Wilmer Dewing, American, 1851-1938

 A lovely summer's week of overcast skies, cool temperatures and 
 a bit of rain. Just the way I like it. For the first time in a
 few years, we managed to make it all the way through summer
 without a single 100-degree day. I've noticed a lot of humming-
 birds lately for some reason. Not the dainty, colorful little
 things but larger, buff-colored ones so common here. The recent
 hot spell had the trees dropping a few leaves to conserve water.
 The horse-chestnut trees spikey nut-balls are just about full
 size now and will soon begin dropping. All in all, the worm 
 has clearly turned and summer is over. Fall is my favorite time
 of year.

 I'm standing there leaning up against a light post during my smoke
 break when this black guy comes along wanting to bum a smoke off
 me. He's got a gimpy leg and looks pretty pathetic. Unable to think
 of any reason to make his life any worse than it was, I gave him
 one. We got to talking. He was originally from LA and moved here
 about 15 years ago. Because of his gimpy leg, work was hard to 
 come by and he was homeless for the first few years here. He said
 he's a barber which must be a bit tough having to stand on that 
 leg all the time. Nowadays he cuts hair for the homeless just for a
 donation. Anyways...it was tough sleding at first but as long as 
 he could get something to eat he could put up with it. He said in 
 LA the food situation really sucked. The free soup kitchens were 
 just that - SOUP kitchens. They didn't give people real food to 
 eat. It may have just been an 80's thing since the Ronny Ray Gun 
 Recession was raging and the soup-kitchens had a lot more customers 
 to feed than usual. It may also have been before rich people could 
 get a tax write-off for donating to charities like soup kitchens. 
 Here in Seattle it was much better. Places like Union Gospel Mission 
 provide stuff people can bite into. He was now living in one of 
 Plymouth Housing's buidings. They renovate old hotels downtown 
 and turn them into subsidized housing places. For some reason he 
 was hesitant to acknowlege Plymouth. It's possible if not likely
 that he didn't know they were his landlord. Even after 15 years 
 here he hated the rain and the cold. I told him I loved both and 
 it made him laugh. Time for me to get back to work. After a hand-
 shake and a "nice chatting wit you", he shuffled off and I went 
 back to my warm building, dry cubicle and snacks in the lunchroom. 
 Shit happens sometimes. People deal with it as best they can. I 
 got lucky. He didn't. It may be a different story tomorrow.

 Chief Wife Beater and Ranking Uncle Tom on Hooterville City 
 Council, Dickie McIvars, got oppressed by Whitey again this
 week. Nope. He didn't get caught banging on his Old Lady again. 
 Nope. He didn't caught slipping city contracts to his pals again. 
 This time he got caught dipping into tax money to pay off his 
 fines. I mean, what in the hell is that all about? He's a taxpayer 
 too. He's entitled to help himself to his own money. And he's a 
 faithful developer whore no less deserving of "gratuities" than 
 any of the rest of the developer whores on City Council. Is it 
 just because he's black? Is that it? Huh? Damn straight Jack! 
 The Honkies got it in for him because of his black skin. By the 
 end of the week he had to cough up $1,000 out of his own pocket 
 to get them off his burdened-by-slavery back. Sheeeeet! It's 
 enough to make a man want to kick his Old Lady's ass.

 Speaking of City Hall...
 Mayor Paul Allen's favorite cross-dressing lap-boy, Nanny Nickles,
 was up to more dumbfuckery this week.  Lacking enough brains to
 deal  with the city's real problems: traffic gridlock, lack of
 affordable housing, homeless people dying on our streets - he's
 been trying to divert attention from his failures with a series 
 of really stoopid ideas. Like a bag tax. Oh well. That one appears 
 to be on the back burner and headed for a vote where it will get 
 the fate it deserves: death. Now he wants all the garbage dumpsters 
 out of the back alleys. Actually he's taking a page out of Uncle 
 Dickie's playbook with a scam to throw a few Bucks to his pals 
 at CityScapes. No doubt in return for "future considerations" 
 involving his bank account. Garbage in the back alley is an old 
 American tradition. Being from England, Nanny probably doesn't 
 know that. We like garbage in the back alleys. That's where it 
 belongs. My back-alley doesn't stink; apparently Nanny's does.
 Maybe he should just change his shorts a little more often. You 
 can see where this is going, can't you? Next thing he'll come up 
 with is a garbage tax. It'll be illegal to throw anything away
 unless you buy a licence from City Hall. See. If we just gave him 
 his tunnel none of this would be happening. He's punishing us for 
 our infidelity. All and all, it would be a lot easier and cheaper 
 to just remove Nanny from City Hall and send his fat ass packing
 back to England. Tell Mayor Allen to find himself a new lap-boy. 
 Preferably one with more brains than hair this time.
 You really gotta wonder why anybody shops at Safeway. Their stores
 are such grubby, mismanaged dumps. QFC has a far better selection,
 the prices are about the same, the quality is much better and the 
 stores look nice. The service sucks about as bad. This is, afterall,
 Seattle - home of shitty service. No, I don't own any QFC stock nor 
 am I employed there. My only relationship with them as a customer. 
 They are simply far better than Safeway by a country mile. I suppose 
 if Safeway finally did go tits up, the lack of competition would 
 change QFC's attitude. But I think it's doubtful Safeway is even 
 competitive right now. QFC always seems a lot busier. The only places 
 where Safeway is busy are places where there is no competition. Like
 that ugly, little beer-store in the U District. It isn't just the
 deliberate diddling of stuff to create high prices, the generally
 low quality of their produce, their staff are weird too. For many
 years I've seen the same faces behind the tills/counters. People,
 usually women, who've been working there for well over a decade
 without promotion. You'd think the Losers would realize at some
 point that Safeway is just ripping them off, stealing their life,
 screwing them over. Many of them look like they've had the life
 sucked out of them. They truely look pathetic. They're trapped
 like rats in a job they hate, with customers they hate, with a
 boss who ranks their value below dog food. Safeway stores give 
 off bad vibes like shit gives off a bad smell.

 Howie "Starbucks" Schultz dropped his nuisance lawsuit against
 the Oakies for buying the NBA Sonics. It was baseless. Only
 the State Bar's deference towards his money allowed him to even 
 get away with filing it. Fact is: he made a financial killing 
 selling the Sonics. Not a cent of which went to helping those 
 who wanted to keep the team here. And he sure as hell doesn't
 want the team back nor is he even vaguely interested in giving 
 the Oakies their money back. He screwed Seattle REAL good and 
 is laughing at the local hayseeds all the way to the bank. Best 
 of all, the dumbasses keep patronizing his stoopid coffee-shops. 
 That's the beauty of living in a Hicktown - the Gomers are too
 retarded to even know when they're getting screwed. It's like 
 everybody in Seattle is walking around with a big "Please Fuck 
 Me In The Ass" sign on their back.
 Another Seattle cop got caught lying his ass off. This time
 it was out-of-state where he murdered another man - a biker
 in the Dakotas during a gang event in which the cop was
 participating. Lying and Seattle cops goes together like 
 peanut butter and jam, hotdogs and ketchup, shit and toilet 
 paper. Everytime they get into trouble, they lie. It's nearly
 automatic. Only a King County Inferior Court judge would be 
 stoopid enough to believe anything our cops say. Out of state 
 judges apparently have higher standards. Officer Friendly's 
 tit is now in the ringer. He's facing a murder rap. It was 
 curious he invoked the King County magic phrase in his defense. 
 "I feared for my life". He was packing a gun at the time. If 
 he was afraid it wasn't because he couldn't defend himself; 
 it was because he's just naturally chickenshit. I'd love to 
 see them hang his ass high. There is no conceivable circumstance 
 under which I would need or want a cop's assistance. None. Nada. 
 Zip. Zero.

 Here they come again. The beggers are at our door. United Way is
 kicking off its annual fund raising campaign. They're using the
 NFL Seahawks a lot in their literature this year. Or are the 
 Seahawks using them? It's always a bit ambiguous when Big People
 use Little People. And their big selling point this year is
 "efficency" - 96 cents of every Buck you give them goes directly
 to helping the poor/needy/etc. Which is a bit deceptive. I might
 add DELIBERATELY deceptive (as in fraud). In the old days when
 they were just a fund-raiser for existing agencies, the concept 
 might have held water. But nowadays they reduced the size of their
 grants to agencies and diverted the money to in-house programs.
 Which is to say - to themselves. Close to 50-cents of every dollar
 you give them goes right back into their own pocket for bullshit
 like their annual one-day give away of donated junk to the homeless. 
 They don't even buy what they give away. One day a year won't do 
 squat to end homelessness but it is a minimal way to make it LOOK 
 like you're helping the homeless. Impressions are sooooo important 
 especially when you're using them to raise money. Apparently they 
 don't count the in-house as seperate. It's lumped in with the grants 
 to outside agencies. United Way is, in fact, a legal tax-dodge for 
 the Super Rich. A way for them to hide their money from the taxman 
 so that you and me have to pick up their slack. That's why United 
 Way is run by a former investment banker instead someone who knows 
 something about fighting poverty. He speaks the lingo of the Super 
 Rich and is sensitive to their financial needs. A poverty-fighter 
 would be too sensitive to the needs of the poor and probably not 
 show proper deference to the Super Rich. United Way's board, made
 up of local Rich Boyz and well-off Boeing union execs, wouldn't
 like that. The money working people donate to United Way is just 
 chump-change compared to what Howard 'Starbucks" Schultz, Mr. Car
 Toys and others Richy Rich Boyz donate. Most of it is wasted on 
 the in-house impression-making bullshit and goes into the pockets 
 of the poverty bureaucrats instead of to the poor. Needless to say, 
 I don't donate to United Way anymore. When they stop raking off 
 for self-promotion BS then maybe I'll change my mind. Until then, 
 there are plenty of alternatives.

 Amazon came out with a new toy recently - the Kindle. It's an
 electronic book and costs around $400. Quite a bit larger than
 an iPod, it apparently can only read. It looks cheap and bulky.
 Like something from the 80's. It doesn't look like they put much
 thought into the design. Presumedly they put a little more 
 thought into the stuff inside it but I wouldn't bet on it. After
 my recent experience with an iPod Touch, I'd stick with that and
 skip the Kindle. Depending on how much memory you get, the Touch
 would be a bit less or a bit more expensive but it can do far more. 
 And it's small enough to fit in your shirt pocket. The Kindle most
 decidely isn't. I was mildly surprised at how irrelevant the
 Touch's relatively small screen was. I was expecting it to be
 a problem and it wasn't. Once you get a screen inside your head,
 size doesn't seem to matter. At least that was my experience. 
 My big dream remains someone coming up with a Heads Up Display 
 (HUD) for laptops and iPods so you could just point them at any 
 glass or clear plastic surface and use it as a screen. The 
 technology exists. The military has been using it in mission-
 critical stuff for many years. About time it came out of the 
 closet if the techies ever pull their heads out of their
 asses. It'll be another one of those things the Chinese beat
 us to.

 Speaking of toys...
 I took a pass on that iPod Touch my pal let me play with in
 hopes it would lure me into buying it off him. On the plus
 side: (1) flash memory, (2) built-in wifi, (3) accelerometer.
 On the negative side: (1) slower than shit, (2) hicktown 
 with limited wifi, (3) gutless minimal versions of Safari
 and iTunes. I think I know how Apple finally got rid of all
 those old Newton CPUs in the warehouse - they put them in 
 the iPod Touches. The Touch can only do one thing at a time.
 Try to make it say install a downloaded appliance AND check
 the weather with another appliance - it goes braindead. Just
 hangs before going to the black silver-apple screen and, a
 few minutes later, turning itself off. It constantly does
 that since I'm used to working with multi-tasking machines
 and I keep forgetting this is just an overpriced toy machine
 that can't handle that kind of complexity. The Touch has a
 lot of potential but it falls far short on the delivery end
 of things. Maybe next year. Besides the dinky little local
 mini-Apple store is a pain in the ass to deal with. They 
 seem to be trying to disuade customers from shopping there.
 The clueless asshats even chopped their free Wifi recently.
 One of the consequences of our Media Bullshit Artists not
 doing their job is that documentary flicks are making a big
 comeback. If you want information, it is a waste of time to
 turn on a TV or radio. They don't do information any more,
 just corporate spin and other forms of lying. The only opinion 
 tolerated is corporate opinion. Nobody else exists. It isn't
 that documentary flicks are any less biased. But they tend
 to be agit-prop biased towards those whom our bullshit artists 
 ignore. And their audience is substantial. Just ask Michael 
 Moore. He's made a ton of money off Our Lord & Decider Jesus 
 George. Al Gore did financially quite well from his greenie
 flick. There's a Buck to be made off the information gap
 produced by our Media bullshit artists. Documentary flicks
 probably reach a larger and more diverse audience than the 
 Internet. The latter largely remains a male-dominated play-
 ground for a relatively small number of wanker Geek Boyz 
 who are no more "fair and balanced" than the FOX News they
 interminably whine about. The Big Screen provided the first
 image-oriented news before TV kicked in. News-reels were a
 common pre-movie feature. Perhaps they will once again fill
 that role since our Media bullshit artists gave up on the

 Movie: "Malcolm X"
 Spike Lee's rendition of Alex Haley's biography of Malcolm X.
 Spike really sucks at this movie making business. If he was 
 white, he'd be shining shoes for a living instead of making 
 movies. Even with a best-seller/classic pre-written script he
 managed to screw it up. But then he wasn't 'of age' during the
 time of Malcom and neither was Denzel. They got no idea what
 those times were like and it shows - tragically. This was a one
 shot deal. There will never, ever again be another feature film
 about Malcolm's life. He deserved much better than this 3rd rate
 piece of crap. I was 'of age'. More than that, I was 'involved'. 
 I remember those times very well. Spike did an exceptionally poor 
 job of reflecting them. Not only is his flick historically 
 inaccurate, it's poorly done. Malcom's post prison debut with 
 the Black Muslims wasn't in New York City or Chicago. It was in 
 Detroit. He picked up a job with Ford until he was clear of the 
 paperwork then headed up a new temple for Elijah Muhammed. For 
 a black man Spike's got no natural rhythm at all. His timing 
 really sucks. That legendary confrontation with the police chief 
 fell flatter than a pancake. 'Afro American' is a term Malcom 
 never used but Spike made a big thing out it. Spike failed to 
 show just how insanely fanatical Muhammed's flunkies were. And 
 where was Muhammed Ali? The big star of the Black Muslims and he 
 doesn't even put in an appearance! Any black man seen in public 
 with a white woman, like Spike's Malcolm often did, would have 
 been dead meat. If the Crackers didn't get him, the cops sure as 
 hell would. Salt-and-pepper couples went up to Canada for their
 rendevous. On and on it goes. Sadly, Spike's movie is pure
 junk. Denzel should be ashamed of himself for being part of
 it. The one magic moment I really did get a kick out of was
 when that judge rattled off a long string of 50-year sentences
 to be served concurrently. The judge was the legendary radical
 lawyer Bill Kunstler who terrorized the Department of Justice
 for many years. No mention in the crdits. I guess Spike didn't
 want to upset the Hollywood Heebs. Malcolm was the greatest.
 Race relations in America would have turned out very differently
 if he'd have lived. And puny little House Niggers like Obama
 would still be collecting contractor bribes under the table in 
 their State Houses. Which is, of course, why the government 
 murdered Malcolm (and why Obama is in no danger of the same). 
 Spike's put another bullet in Malcom's head.


                      INFORMATION GAP
 One of the ironies of our hyper-informational times is that real
 information is preciously hard to come by. The Great American
 Media Bullshit Machine, the bastard off-spring of the handful of
 rich, white, corporate scum who now own them, no longer embraces
 its previous role as Fifth Estate. Now they only sling corporate
 spin. Reporting has given way to corporate PR. Stories are often
 written by the same corporate PR departments whose companies are 
 the subjects of the stories. Incorporated into newspapers and 
 broadcasts as if they were done by reporters. They aren't even 
 honest enough to declare their presence. In opinion polls of 
 trustworthiness, journalists/reporters now rank below politicians. 
 We expect our reporters to lie to us and they rarely disappoint.

 Newspapers are poised to disappear soon. They are going broke in
 record numbers and seem resigned to their fate. They do little or
 nothing to experiment with new ways of making themselves relevant.
 They just keep mindlessly cranking out the same junk as if it
 were all they knew how to do. Many now incorporate hyper-graphics
 in a lame attempt to emulate TV's image power. Their written copy
 has been reduced to single-sentence "paragraphs" for the semi-
 literate. The written version of sound-bites. International news 
 from correspondants has all but evaporated. National and local 
 news is all they really can handle any more and they do poorly 
 even at that. The Internet has severely cut into their classified
 ad income which has compromised their financial well-being. They
 are powerless to counter it.

 Radio, aside from lots of music, has degenerated into the Screaming
 Nazi talk-shows. Uniformly right-wing in nature, often blatantly
 bigoted, utterly unreliable, they preach to the converted. Their
 audiences are small, ignorant and unquestioning. They reflect the
 lowest cultural common denominator. They do not enlighten or
 educate. They follow. They do not lead.

 The Internet remains the toy of a small group of male Geek Boyz.
 The advent of the Web 2.0 social-news sites in which readers 
 vote on stories to bump them higher up the listings to the "front
 page", almost exclusively uses Mainstream media sources and reflects 
 its biases. They don't initiate news stories. Like their Screaming 
 Nazis radio near-cousins, they just reflect it though their bias is
 often left-wingish, but just as patronizingly bigoted and sexist as 
 the source. They are no less dishonest and disingenuous. Blacks 
 and ethnic minorities get little notice from the white dominated Geek 
 Boyz. Women are treated almost like a seperate species, patronized at 
 best, exploited at worst. Sex is limited to jerking-off. They seem to 
 be afraid of girls. Like the radio call-in listeners, their comments
 are juvenile drivel from the poorly-informed semi-literates who 
 read their stuff. And they are just as much given to chest-beating
 and other immature forms of posturing as radio's Screaming Nazis
 are. Like the latter, they also follow, they do not lead. In short:
 they have no alternative to offer.

 TV remains overwhelmingly America's media of choice. But that is
 not to say that TV reporting is trusted. It's not. Most Americans
 consider TV's talking-heads to be even more dishonest than 
 politicians. But there is a strange disconnect between the 
 source and the information on TV. As much as Americans don't
 trust the source they still mindlessly absorb the message. It
 seems that seeing-is-believing. It never occurs to the audience
 that the choice of images is carefully selected by the very
 people whom they distrust most. Sometimes the images are even
 fabricated to create the desired effect. Technology now allows
 for fabrications so sophisticated in nature as to be indis-
 tinguishable from the 'real thing'. Goofing a TV audience is
 so easy to do that it has now become common-place. And the TV
 companies seem arrogantly oblivious to the low esteem in which
 their audiences hold them. The suckers keep coming back for
 more, generating tons of eyeballs for their advertisers to
 play to. The execs have no incentive to change or improve
 their informational product.

 Instead of improving information flow, our new informational
 technology has compromised its flow. We have become just as
 ignorant of the world as medieval peasants. The only reality
 we know well is that which immediately surrounds us: what we
 can see with our eyes and hear with our own ears. The rest is
 up for grabs. The Media only offer fantasies of realties. What
 some have called "simulations" carefully edited and selected
 to re-enforce pre-concieved biases. We are never allowed to
 see the Big Picture, only select, isolated bits of it. And for
 the most part, we have embraced them as if they were reality.

 The process of this embracing is largely unconscious. It seems
 to occur well below our consciousness. It evokes emotions not
 thought, feelings not deliberation. Gut reactions are its
 product. We just fill in the considerable surrounding empty
 space with our own expectations and biases. Seeing what we
 WANT to see, not seeing what is actually there. often with
 considerable prompting from the source. Most of us lack the
 intelligence and skills to sort it out. So we just accept it
 as if it were reality. We have little time or energy to do 
 otherwise. We accept the distrusted source's truth reluctantly,
 by default. We have nothing else on which to draw.

 The previous generations dreams of a Global Village wrot by
 technology has largely come to naught. It has given way
 instead to a Global Nightmare filled with Booger Men whose
 very existence we can't even be sure of. A nightmare filled
 with ignorance, lies and deceptions. A Global Downer written,
 produced and directed by America's Media Bullshit Machine, in
 service to its corporate masters.


                CORPORATE WHORE AUCTION 2008

 No matter who wins this November, the World's Biggest Asshole - 
 America - is going to get exactly what it deserves - a sharp 
 stick up its fat, meddling ass. It doesn't really matter who 
 administers it. There really isn't any significant difference 
 between Obama and McCain. They're on the same corporate lobbyist
 team. It's strictly a matter of chocolate vs. vanilla, senility 
 vs. a pathological liar. But there's no escaping the economic
 consequences of the past 8 years and our Welfare Queen Economy. 
 Neither major canidate has a viable plan for dealing with them. 
 Neither even wants to acknowledge the problem. Which, of course, 
 means that it will continue to worsen. In about two years they 
 won't be able to ignore those consequences. They'll be forced to 
 deal with them. By then, their options will be very limited and 
 it's unlikely Obama will do anything that McCain wouldn't have
 done. So if you are inclined to vote Mainstream Parties, go 
 ahead and flip  a coin, for all the difference it will make.

 The conventions have all the pomp and circumstance of real political 
 conventions without the substance. Since all the signifcant decisions
 were made ahead of time, there was no debate, discussion or dialogue 
 on the issues. The Party flunkies who attended are just there to provide 
 atmosphere. Like extras in movies. They had no other purpose. And, sadly,
 it didn't occur to anyone that they should have any more purpose. We
 seem to have accomodated themselves to just accepting whatever fate 
 the Big People decide to hand us. Or, perhaps more likely, that is
 the impression The Great American Media Bullshit Machine wishes to
 convey to us. To re-inforce the impression that we are powerless, 
 voiceless and choiceless. They have to keep reminding us or we're 
 liable to forget. Then we might up and kick their fat asses.

 Oh well. The good news is the hillbillies from Arkansas are now
 officially history. We'll have no more Clintons to kick around.
 Bubba Jay might have to actually get a job.

 Ralph Nader and Congressman Ron Paul still don't even get mentioned
 by the Bullshit Machine. Shhh! Pretend they aren't there and maybe 
 nobody will notice that there are alternatives to Obama and
 his pal McCain. Viable alternatives. And with the recent rise of
 the Imperial Presidency via executive orders, an independant president 
 has all the tools needed to govern without having to suck up to 
 Congress. Not only the Constitution and its Bill of Rights have
 been trashed, so also has the traditional division-of-power. Never 
 before has an independant presidency been more practically doable. 
 The lack of coverage of Nader and Paul is as true in the pages of 
 the Geek Boyz Web 2.0 social-news sites as in the mainstream media. 
 They too deliberately block the two canidates out just like FOX 
 News does. Stories involving Nader or Paul are censored from the
 listings so readers never have the chance to vote on them. Thus 
 making the Geek Boyz part of the problem, not part of the solution.
 Oh well. Web 2.0 is a legend-in-its-own-mind and not much of
 anyone elses. Screw them.

 Our invasion/occupation of Iran seems to have acquired a few
 new plot-complications since the Russia/Georgia confrontation.
 It's still on and in the pipline. Once these things start they
 take on a momentum of their own beyond the control of the people
 who initiated them. Now the Rooskies are ready and willing to
 help Iran give Uncle Sammy a gut punch he won't soon forget.
 They got the intel to target those Iranian missles precisely
 at US targets - aircraft carriers, Iraqi missle batteries,
 etc. And now the Heeb Nazis in Israel are squalking that they
 will attack unilaterally if Uncle Sammy loses his balls. As
 Lebanon proved beyond a doubt, Israel is a Paper Tiger - all
 mouth, no action. A nation of greedy fuck-up artists. There 
 is no such thing as unilateral and they're well aware of it. 
 If the Iranians counterattack the Heebs after an Israeli hit, 
 we WILL hit the Iranians. We have to. There's no option. The 
 end result? Our Lord & Decider Jesus George is going to stick 
 it to President Obama. The hit will come in December or early 
 January while Jesus is still our Savior but before Obama takes 
 over. Just like Daddy did in Somalia. Then Obama's going to 
 have to deal with one helluva mess right off the bat. Just 
 like Bubba Jay had to. He'll be WAY too busy to deal with 
 anything else like Congress or the impending collapse of our 
 economy, etc.  But he will take the blame for it all. It'll 
 take him YEARS to crawl out from under it. If ever. Meanwhile, 
 Jesus will ride his ass back to his chicken ranch in Texas 
 with a big grin on his face for having screwed America right
 up the ass. 

                      +  MONDO VATICANO +

 Pope Benny the Bigot is still hunkered down in his vacation villa
 in the Roman countryside, surrounded by priceless art and hundreds
 of flunkies, enjoying his summer vacation while bemoaning the
 world's obsession with Materialism. No doubt he's honning his
 "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" theology into an inspiring future papal
 encyclical. And practicing "Chopsticks" on his piano while inflicting
 terror on the staff by sneaking up on them then demanding to know 
 just what in the hell they think they're doing. He likes terrorizing
 Little People. It's one of the few joys left to him these days. That,
 plump/pink altarboys and sexy red Prada shoes.


 When it comes to really stoopid ideas, the Vatican's Curia Queens
 are world champs. WAY better than the White House or Kremlin.
 For example, this week a priest in Naples dreamt up the idea for
 a nun beauty contest - Sister Italia. Stealing an idea Italian 
 filmmaker Fredrico Fellini employed decades ago in his movie 
 "Roma". Actually, Fredrico's was an ecclesiastical fashion show 
 not a beauty contest but close enough for curia work, eh. And
 Fellini did include a real Roman whore house in the same flick
 which might inspire the beauty contest's priestly operator to
 bigger and better things.

 I suggest they trump Fellini and go for the gusto. Why not just
 turn all convents into whore houses? Make a few Bucks off the
 bitches. The local bishop can be their pimp, and Fr. Rungi who
 dreamt up the beauty contest could get promoted to head of the 
 Sacred Congregation of Pimps. Perhaps offering a holy indulgence 
 of 500 years for blow jobs, 750 years for missionary-style and
 800 years for doggie-style. Opps! That's right - no more
 purgatory. So they can give away rosaries, holy cards and
 sacred medals instead.

 For centuries priests have been helping themselves to the gals
 in the convents whenever the spirit moved them. Some of the
 bigger convents, like the Gray Nuns in Montreal, had it all
 organized and promoted their services to ecclesiastics. Former
 nun/whores wrote books about their experiences in those hellish
 holy cat houses. Many nuns happily helped out Pervert Priests 
 who were banging on the parish kiddies, holding them down while
 Fadder pounded their meat. It's not like there isn't a 
 precident for this nun/whore-house thing.  

 There's a vast untapped Internet market in nun pr0n for pious
 jerk-off artists. The independants have put up a little and
 Euros especially seem to get off on it. Imagine a virtual
 convent full of sexy sisters. Whoa! Benny the Bigot might
 even want a piece of that action - Sister Veronica Does the
 Papal Apartments. Yowsir! Not to mention altar boys. That
 one could be big enough to spin off on its own.

 Father Rungi clearly demonstrated his total contempt for the
 women of religious orders. He should be excommunicated and
 thrown out in the gutter where his filthy mind resides. But
 instead, the Curia Queens and Benny the Bigot quietly just 
 snicker in the background. They don't like girls either. 
 They lean more towards altarboys and apparently are going
 to quietly wait to see what he comes up with in that


 The Knights Templar lawsuit to have billions in assets
 returned by the Vatican is a gross abuse of the Spanish
 courts. They are demonstratng their total contempt for
 the courts by using them as an extention of their PR 
 department. It's obviously a publicity stunt. Most 
 amazing of all, the Spanish court system is allowing
 it to proceed. As if Vatican State would give a flying
 fuck what a Spanish judge thought about anything. What
 a stoopid waste of everyone's time.


 I've been re-reading Aldous Huxley's "Grey Eminance" lately.
 it is about Fr. Joseph of Paris who was the Karl Rove of his
 time. A cut-throat, war-mongering scumbag by most counts. 
 As Cardinal Richeleu's right-hand man, Fr. Joseph initiated 
 and sustained the 30 Years War, proding the combattants 
 whenever they started to wimp out and begin peace talks. Many
 tens of thousands died because of him. He also lobbied the 
 Vatican for yet another bloody crusade in the "Holylands". 
 He hated Muslims with a passion.

 His hatred of Muslims was about the only thing he shared with
 Rove. He was an extremely pious Capuchin monk who wore rags,
 constantly subjected himself to lashings and other physical
 abuse and walked on foot to wherever he needed to go - Paris, 
 Rome, Madrid, etc. Barefoot usually. He was using Benet of 
 Canfield's spiritual system to achieve unity with God. It is
 an extremely intense and demanding system requiring constant
 and sustained mediation at all times. And, as Huxley pointed 
 out, it was a very flawed system. One that was incapable of 
 achieving unity with the Godhead. But it was quite capable of 
 driving its practioners insane. Which is apparently what 
 happened to Fr. Joseph. 

 Those who attempt to achieve unity with God usually follow
 the Dionesian model in which the final stage is a complete
 surrender to God, allowing Him to use you as His instrument.
 Being "in" the world but not "of" it, no longer a slave of 
 its rational thought or imagination. "Self" totally disappears. 
 "You" no longer exists. Psychologically a very dangerous thing
 to do and therefore requiring a substantial support system.
 In Benet's system, the final stage was a diversion to Christ's
 passion instead. A return to indulgence in imagination and
 rational thought. Definitely inferior to the Dionesian model.
 But Benet was very popular with the Vatican's Curia Queens
 who were terrified of the mystics and sought any instrument
 that kept them under their control. So they embraced Benet,
 and others like him, while discouraging the Dionesians. Loyalty
 to Roma was more important to them than loyalty to God.
 The ultimate upshoot of Benet's flawed system was the death of 
 mysticism. It essentially evaporated, never to reappear again. 
 What has passed for mysticism since is really nothing of the
 sort. And the Vatican would like things to stay that way. It
 has done nothing to preserve, promote or encourage that aspect 
 of Catholic tradition.

 The above is anti-CopyRite 1997-2050, more or less,
 and can be freely used. I only ask that you politely
 give credit where credit is due, lift things in whole
 paragraphs instead of just the incriminating, dirty
 little parts and throw in a plug for the Fog Bank
 shown below. Oh yeah. And if you make money off of
 any of it, make an appropriately sized donation to
 a worthy charity. My lawyer, Yoshi "The Proctologist"
 has indefinitely moved to Nashville to be closer to
 Elvis. But he assures me that thanks to the Internet
 he can kick legal ass from anywhere on earth now.
 FOG BANK/ARCHIVE: https://www.angelfire.com/nthomas4522/index.html