"Well I could sleep forever... but its a hurt I'd dream,
if I could sleep forever, I could forget about everything"



the old home.

My new home.
"And that's my palm tree."


This website makes surreal dimness into something like high art
(at least if you've smoked enough),
and makes me more than ready for the sequel,
"Seriously Dude, Where's My Car?"




I'm actually wearing jeans and gym shoes. So we went outside and took a picture of that


I once met a guy who wanted to tell me a blonde joke.. it took him almost 2 days to come up with one (am I the only one who sees the irony in this) With that said, here's my favorite blonde joke:
Why are all dumb blond jokes so short? A: So *men* can understand them ...
Since me and nikki are retards and can't figure out how to make the camera take normal pictures anymore (everything we took since Bachelor's Grove comes out Blurry or the contrast is too high).. Here's a semi new one of me now that I (according to Teddy) look grungy... thanks... but don't go stealing it and photoshopping me bald again. I still haven't seen the first one.

"There's a theory about chaos, underneith all the confusion is a master plan"


*Yay for kids getting married in Vegas*

Phoebe-Post Zyrtec Fame!!!



Me


the teddy photochop




The reality tv show





There is nothing mysterious about men. They are simple minded creatures of habit.
Women, on the other hand, are intentional and unintentional, predictable and unpredictable, deceptive and perceptive, calculating and nosey. The air of mystery is inate in the woman - it's all part of their the charm, allure and their ability to aggravate the fucking shit out of men.

Tokyo pictures



NYC, the Lexus, and the ex con.



Why do guys do this?


Sexy bitches. Troma Style


This is my typical day,

wake up, take a shower, kill whomever I have to kill, go to school or go to work, or go out dancing till the light makes me stop.

Unless of course it is a Monday.... I join other members of the anti Monday association (trying to warn the rest of the world about the threat of Monday), hole up with Phoebe my cat under the covers of our bed and proclaim it as the "gateway to tuesday". We are ready to join the real world by then.

Phoebe holed up under the covers at an Anti Monday meeting (She really hates Mondays...)

18 essential tips to keep your mind healthy

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom, don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want that super sized

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"

8. Don't use punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

10. Ask people what gender they are

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area & play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON, I WON! 3RD TIME THIS WEEK!!!!!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, THEY'RE LOOSE!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."


The retard pillow caught another one.

My matchmaking skills!!! :) ...But *insert high pitched annoying voice here* "Where's Lucas!?"

"Girls give sex to get love. Guys give love to get sex"
Quotes

Me. Naked.


Old pictures


...because sometimes I'm 7 feet tall

Hey Nikki, its "the drink that started it all"


The "Bud" sign

Lailani


Jill.Natalie

Natalie.Me



Runway.

I live in California.

On the beach.


That's Donny. He's a surfer, and we're both "not professionals... yet".


Nice shot of the Corona


:)


The Beer Machine


Happy Monday.
Please Sign My Guestbook!!!!!!! (click below to enter your comments)
-----> If you sign it,
all your dreams will come true,
the world will continue to revolve
and I will be very happy.
Well, I can't promise the first two...
but if your dream was to say... make me happy, it will come true.
And if the world revolved around my happiness, *which unfortunately, at the present time, it does not*
it will continue to do so.

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***I've always found that how much someone cares for you, is directly proportional to how much you can piss them off***
ChongItUpBarbie@aol.com make it amusing ;)

last updated: a very long time ago

She waits for a response, then turns away, and empties the contents of her backpack onto the couch where she's sitting. Her legs are crossed. She looks like an obsessively efficient businesswoman with a tic. Her logic follows its own askew compass. I think about a squirrel I saw just after it was hit by a car. It ran in wild circles trying to escape the orbit of its pain.