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A Few Words On Happiness
by Jeff Vogel

Happiness is getting the clot in your leg, not in your brain.

Happiness is finding out it was only syphillis.

Happiness is purging the people who were loyal to you, just for fun.

Happiness is Chris Farley, carved like a Thanksgiving Turkey.

Happiness is a nymphomaniac lobbyist.

Happiness is when the blood of the unbeliever splatters everywhere, yet 
doesn't land on your wool jacket.

Happiness is a canister of nerve gas, a large satchel, and a good running 

Happiness is a hug.

Happiness is a hug, delivered in a firm, unyielding way, lingering for
just a bit too long, in order to communicate the message "I own you."

Happiness is a hug, delivered in a firm, forceful way, snapping the
spine just halfway up, in order to communicate the message "You mildly
irritated me."

Happiness is fear and ignorance. Just trust me on this one.

Happiness is the crotch rot coming under control.

Happiness is that charming little creaking noise the rack makes during the
first turn.

Happiness is the skin peeling off in large, satisfying sheets.

Happiness is bouncing the rubble.

Happiness is keeping the shelter door cracked open a little bit, just 
to keep things interesting.

Happiness is finding the polyp in your sinus, not your colon.

Happiness is a lead pipe.

ulcers; strange feeling arms inexplicably numb leeches in the wind Ashes to ashes... Flambuoyant... Falling... Hurting... The phone is for you. "Where's all that blood from?" "I've just one word for you, son. Haemophiliac." From here i can see My neighbor in lingerie And here comes his wife Unreal Tournament All day and all of the night I need to make friends. Momentary lapse God dammit I'm in trouble I ate my baby Am I seeing things? Is Elvis mowing my lawn? Nope. It 's just Satan. Nude, I run quickly Now I make a slapping sound Soon I must slow down Ear against the door Pressing hard, I hear no sound. Grandma must be dead. Learning the guitar Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach. I like to play Bach.