A Few Words On Happiness
by Jeff Vogel

Happiness is getting the clot in your leg, not in your brain.

Happiness is finding out it was only syphillis.

Happiness is purging the people who were loyal to you, just for fun.

Happiness is Chris Farley, carved like a Thanksgiving Turkey.

Happiness is a nymphomaniac lobbyist.

Happiness is when the blood of the unbeliever splatters everywhere, yet 
doesn't land on your wool jacket.

Happiness is a canister of nerve gas, a large satchel, and a good running 
start.

Happiness is a hug.

Happiness is a hug, delivered in a firm, unyielding way, lingering for
just a bit too long, in order to communicate the message "I own you."

Happiness is a hug, delivered in a firm, forceful way, snapping the
spine just halfway up, in order to communicate the message "You mildly
irritated me."

Happiness is fear and ignorance. Just trust me on this one.

Happiness is the crotch rot coming under control.

Happiness is that charming little creaking noise the rack makes during the
first turn.

Happiness is the skin peeling off in large, satisfying sheets.

Happiness is bouncing the rubble.

Happiness is keeping the shelter door cracked open a little bit, just 
to keep things interesting.

Happiness is finding the polyp in your sinus, not your colon.

Happiness is a lead pipe.



ulcers; strange feeling
arms inexplicably numb
leeches in the wind



Ashes to ashes...
Flambuoyant...
Falling...
Hurting...
The phone is for you.



"Where's all that blood from?"
"I've just one word for you, son.
Haemophiliac."



From here i can see
My neighbor in lingerie
And here comes his wife



Unreal Tournament 
All day and all of the night 
I need to make friends. 



Momentary lapse 
God dammit I'm in trouble 
I ate my baby 



Am I seeing things? 
Is Elvis mowing my lawn? 
Nope. It 's just Satan. 



Nude, I run quickly 
Now I make a slapping sound 
Soon I must slow down 



Ear against the door
Pressing hard, I hear no sound.
Grandma must be dead.



Learning the guitar
Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach Bach.
I like to play Bach.