Hey I'm Jaz I'm 18 years old

and I live in Spfld,Mass

and I'm going to AMDA in NYC in the fall

check out the page and

poof u'll discover the REAL Jaz!

AM I BLUE

Am I blue am I blue ain't these tears, in my eyes telling you am i blue you'd be if each plan with your man done fell through

Was a time when I was his only one but now I'm the sad and lonely one...lonely

Was I gay till today now he's gone, and we're through Am I blue

Oh he's gone he left meam i blue

-Billie Holiday-

MAGICAL THINGS

Fairy tales are magic, full of clowns and jokesPrincesses that cry for heroes, & giants mean and old Little girls who cower from the big bad wolf Kings & queens & witches that have mountains full of gold Living in a daydream with little Jack & Jill All these silly daydreams they never seem to end

By Jasmine

CITY

The city it calls me it calls out my name Independence surrounds my recovering heart I’m running away to get away from the pain To escape all the memories that we once took for vain

I have nothing to gain if I stay here alone My sadness grows stronger as my memories grow old Two months before I would have never believed That I would be without the guy I once believed Would never throw me out

I shared all my things with that man that I love But now I’m alone no one to speak of So now that I go I cry silent tears And place all my fears on the dreams that I keep The city that city with the big shining stars it will give me much comfort To this once loving heart

And from that city at night as I lay in my bed I will think of the days that you were once in my life I’ll remember your eyes and lips when they kissed mine As I fall asleep you’ll still be on my mind I’ll say all my prayers and pray that one day you’ll be mine again

By Jasmine

I am cold and gray because I have lost you

I long to taste you kiss on my tender silver lips

-Jaz-

My memories are stored in my mind like stone

If only i could have caputred your embrace forever

so i wouldn't have to depend on my memories

By Jaz

The real me is hiding under these layers of fears

It's much easier to cover up the pain

and hide behind this wall

By Jaz

Everytime someone breaks my heart

they take alittle part of me

I try to stitch the pieces back together

But I realized I'm a girl with too many scars

By Jaz

Before

Today I start new I cut my hair and changed my attitude

But can't you see it's just a game...

The game I started to play to numb my lonely soul...

Far Beyond those teenage years It’s something hard to identify with something hard to explain when your life suddenly changes and the sky lets out some rain

you’re filled with so many mixed feelings that the others can’t understand sometimes you feel completely alone as the rain pounds against the land

people push you to work harder though you can only work so much life seems so exhausting never-ending rain is such

the rainstorm has finally ended as the many clouds disappear u are finally able to move away far far beyond those teenage years

By Sarah Block

After

I tried to express myself as best I could

Peer inside my soul for only a moment

here lay my inner feelings...

ONCE

I’m running away from the memories I hold the places I pass that will never be old they are filled with the ghosts of that love once told So much pain and sorrow buried and I just cannot let go I have no one for comfort I have no one for joy Because in everything I do you will always be around

Deep in my mind all the time every second every minute every hour it’s madness I can’t breath alone without this constant sadness I don’t understand why I just can’t admit it’s been 2 months that you decided to quit And still as time passes by with sorrow and grim It still feel bonded and I still miss your kiss

I wish that everything could be as it was Rewinding the clock so I could show you more love I would correct all my wrongs And I’d be understanding and great I would have solved all my problems so you would have just stayed You would have felt ready but it wasn’t just me I don’t understand how u could forget me so easily

Do u think about me when you lay down at night? Do I ever cross your mind when u wake up, do you smile? Do you remember memories and the places you touched? Did you hurt at all or was it only my luck Why is it you want what you cannot have I just can’t let go of something that I once did have

By Jasmine

I keep expecting you to...

I keep expecting you To fade To wake up one morning and not care so I Keep myself One carefully measured step away In anticipation Of your love’s decline

So when your cheek turns And your attention Wanders Elsewhere My heart will not be left All awkward Hanging From an elastic thread Your forgot to pull off Your old pair of socks

For it’s in your nature to Lose interest suddenly We are both artist Who suck the marrow out Of each lovely bone It just happens to be My lovely bones This time

How bare

-Jewel-

DAY AND NIGHT

Day and Night, Night and Day I’m surround and covered by my pain

Memories they float relived in my mind I can’t believe you’re no longer mine

Alone oh so alone I lay in my bed I lay in my bed all night and day

And I wait, I wait for a day that may never come I wait for a night that may never come

Day and night, night and day I wait for you to return to me

By Jaz

CAUTIOUS

You don’t call Anymore

You say It hurts Too much

Your heart Like one of Those Fragile cactus flowers

Cast amongst Thorny ribs So ready To be Hurt

-Jewel-

I LOOKED

Why do I write such nonsense it won’t happen if I do It won’t leave my troubled mind nothing seems to do

I thought I could forget but than I saw today I looked up at your eyes and I fell in love again

A color so beautiful I can’t describe in words how could something so beautiful cause me so much pain I carry the weight of a big dark cloud which follows me pouring down the rain

I wish I could forget it just wash it down the drain no more writing of what was I hate you and I love you all the same

By Jaz

UNSILENCED

Your face was a carved from smoke your arms numbered the world in a single stroke

your eyes were the darkness beneath a storm your chest was the mountain that kept me warm the sound of your heart made the planets collide the weight of your lips changed the pace of the tide

you made me whole and tore me apart your perception of life unsilenced my heart

-Willow McRae-

GOING UNDER

now i will tell you what i've done for you 50 thousand tears i've cried screaming deceiving and bleeding for you and you still won't hear me don't want your hand this time i'll save myself maybe i'll wake up for once not tormented daily defeated by you just when i thought i'd reached the bottom i'm dying again

i'm going under drowning in you i'm falling forever i've got to break through i'm going under

blurring and stirring the truth and the lies so i don't know what's real and what's not always confusing the thoughts in my head so i can't trust myself anymore i'm dying again

i'm going under drowning in you i'm falling forever i've got to break through

so go on and scream scream at me i'm so far away i won't be broken again i've got to breathe i can't keep going under

-Evanescence-

Gone with the wind

Love is like the water in the sea always flowing moving free it doesn’t always making you feel now you wish it did sometimes love is gone with the wind

It can happen as fast as the fire your heart can fill with warmth and desire

one day you can link your eyes and the love you once felt so strong now dies

-Amanda Leff-

AN EPIPHANY

It’s so strange how we cry about our misery and then see that others have been through worse

how different when you look detached when you can’t cry like all the rest

how unique to see those who can feel so much music that tears spout from their eyes

what luck that I should believe in love have faith in it and never found it for me

-Alfa Bergenfield-

Here are my fave cartoons....

tee-hee o the wonderful world of TVland!

I luv Ginger it is by far my fave cartoon

I wish i could surf Reggie is my fave girl power yay! lol

aww the weekend a time to do nothin LATER DAYS! cute cartoon

I wish i was a teen spy in high school maybe i would have gone more often hehe luv this show

They are so cute bubbles is the best even tho i do like blossom for her little pink outfits hehe

I wish i had fairy god parents poof assclown is dead and bummerstrummer is begging at my feet hehe j/k or am i?

Ok i don't know why I like this cartoon but i do the grim reaper is jamacian how funny is that lol

GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY DEE DEE! funny shit dede's pink outfits are cute too tee-hee

HEHE hey beavis we're gonna score! they should have never cancelled this show one word awesome

Jimmy Neutron I luv this cartoon the visual graphics are awesome it's probably the only cartoon i will never get sick of

I luv Raven she is so funny it would be really cool to met and hang out with her awww she's grown so much since the Cosby's aww

THE PERFECT MAN

The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean.

The perfect man likes children And will raise them by your side He will be a good father As well as a good husband to his bride.

The perfect man loves cooking Cleaning and vacuuming too He'll do anything in his power To convey his feelings of love on to you.

The perfect man is sweet Writing poetry from your name He's a best friend to your mother And kisses away your pain.

He never has made you cry Or hurt you in any way To hell with this endless poem

THE PERFECT MAN IS GAY.

Respect my Authorita!

Plus smoking makes your teeth yelllow...makes ur breath stinky..and ur clothes and house stink and makes ur nails yellow not to mention u kill your taste buds singers who smoke: Britney Spears and Marc Anthony tisk tisk

I don't like people who smoke weed and i have never myself and i never will and i will never ever date someone who has or does..but u got to admit the concept of what you're computer high on weed would look like is funny lol

Yummy yum yum beer taste nasty but if you want a buzz drink this a 6 pack of these is all i need and I'm all set Mike's are pretty good too but killers on ur stomach

See don't drink too much or this will happen to u buddy!

Any one in the mood for some head jokes?

Ok I'll stop being a perv now but u gotta admit those were funny!

WHEN YOU ASK

Oh I don’t believe in valentine’s The day is much small and fine It is one of those days Where lovers awake So don’t remind me more I don’t need to cry some more Can’t you just forget that day

Oh I don’t believe in cupid His aims are much too stupid And I know you lost all your faith So when you ask about valentines I’ll respond the same way in time Valentine’s day has gone by fast

And when I think of all the time I wasted on your stupid lines I’ll try to block all of my tears

Oh I don’t believe in Valentine’s The day that held such thorns and pride The day that I fell in love with you

So when you ask about valentine’s I’ll respond the same way in time that was the day I lost my simple heart to you

By Jasmine (my first Jazz tunes yay!)

****Some of my tiny Poems****

****Lullaby****

Just leaving a message directly from my heart everytime i see you my eyes light up like sparks... your eyes hold my reflection your lips tasting me like wine... your fingertips touching each and every line... Every night and every morning i picture your blue eyes so i can whisper to you I'll love you all my life

By Jasmine

****Last****

Do you look out and see me there controlled by all my fears the river so long and deep I long for one smile for one lending ear I erase all of those moments recorded in the past they can’t hold me down I’ll keep moving on never to be last

By Jasmine

****Love****

Separated by a darkness that lurks in the hearts of all It covers their eyes and fills their souls with tears. Love is that darkness that comes unknown to the one that it strikes It comes as sudden as the sun rises and gives light to the dark explosions of their hearts’ red blood

By Jaz

****Prayer of Love****

My lord before I lay my head to rest I pray to you to give me no less then dreams of joy and happiness I Pray for love not just in my dreams but in my heart and in reality. I pray to you to grant me love fill me with thoughts of happy days and hugs and kisses on rainy days. Please place love in his heart and make him love me like you love me with all my heart I pray to you amen

By Jaz

****Day and Night****

Day and Night, Night and Day I’m surround and covered by my pain Memories they float relived in my mind I can’t believe you’re no longer mine Alone oh so alone I lay in my bed I lay in my bed all night and day And I wait, I wait for a day that may never come I wait for a night that may never come Day and night, night and day I wait for you to return to me

By Jasmine

****You Let GO****

Oh I hate you more then I did yesterday so forgive if I don’t give a shit what you say You abused me, used me, helped me understand When I needed someone to hold me you left my hand you let go of my hand

By Jaz

~~~~****ONLINE POEMS****~~~~

****Dream Come True Shattered****

I'm smothered by a memory tonight, entangled in your finger's phantom touch, the filgreed chills of your delicious bite, trapped in the comfort of your drunken clutch-- for what your ardent kiss meant yesterday seems so clear it stings like shards of glass that slash my eyes to hear your echoes say "what is now, what was then, this must pass." If lost, these words are simpler than they seem; simply listen to the echo when they pass: they say I want to haunt your every dream-- it says "dream on, you're an ass."

****Goodnight****

I climbed up the door and opened the stairs, Said my pajamas and put on my prayers, Then I turned off the bed and crawled into the light, All becuz you kissed me goodnight! * Next morning I woke up and scrambled my shoes, Picked up my eggs and toasted the news, I couldn't tell my left from right, All becuz you kissed me goodnight! * That evening at last I felt normal again, So I picked up my mother and called the phone, I spoke to the puppy and threw Dad a bone, Even at midnight the sun was still bright, All becuz you kissed me goodnight!

****The Ex****

How come all your ex girlfriends, run off and then get wed ? Maybe its something you've done, or maybe its words you never said. I thought it would be fun, to try and figure out why (?), maybe they are no answers, and we should let those sleeping dogs lie. But I love a mystery, discovering clues as they unfold, deciphering the coded messages, as the story gets told: Let's start with your character, although I've seen no flaws as yet, in fact, you're so considerate, you're the kindest man I've ever met ! Maybe you were miserly, but you've bought me just everything, started with the funny sunglasses, includes a gold Cartier ring. Maybe it was in the bedroom, and your performances weren't so hot, well I don't know what was wrong with them, because honey - I know you hit the spot ! Maybe it was because of your dress sense, that the girls gave you the boot, but you look so cool and handsome, in your Gucci shoes and Armani suit. Maybe it was your religion, they say that mixed marriages never last, maybe they regret their decision, maybe they regret their past. Maybe they're feeling sorrow, but I have no sympathy for their pain, because I am so very, very happy, that their loss has been my gain !

~~~~****Unfinished Songs****~~~~

****Rain****

I took a walk in the rain Felt that sweet wind on my face I knew as I began to walk I would forget all those thoughts Let it pour down all that rain Pour down like wine on my grave Oh my bitter sweet memories I’ll always keep them with me I took a walk in the rain

By Jaz

****He Said****

And he said move on and he said I’m gone He has moved on with such great speed Don’t dwell onto the past it doesn’t hurt him he’s going by fast And now he sits and he plays his guitar A different chord for how he played my heart Doesn’t it hurt just to know you broke an innocent heart Do u feel all the pain I carried with alarm Do you have another lover or am I still the one I doubt you felt anything

By Jasmine