Okay, I’m not feeling particularly funny. So if you don’t end up getting a chuckle out of this, you can’t say I didn’t warn you.

Technically, the title of my thoughts this go around doesn’t make sense, does it? “Coherent” means something is closely integrated or consistent with something else. “Random,” more or less, is defined as the opposite, so it’s an oxymoron.

So then can my thoughts be “coherently random”?

I suppose we’ll find out shortly, eh?

“Eh?” It’s hard not to pick up on that, living so close to the border. Canada, or Canadia as I prefer to call it, is just…cool.

Things you can’t legally do until you’re 21 in the States, you can do in Canada at age 19.

That’s another reason why living in Detroit (or anywhere near the US-Canadian border) kicks ass. We get to celebrate being legal TWICE.

Ray Romano is fracken hilarious. I saw him do his standup a month ago.

I’m a sucker for NBC late night, even if Jay Leno DOES jock our material.

I commented on this in my previous Coherent Thoughts, but he did it again. Back in March, Jay told a joke about Justin and Britney breaking up, and then followed it up by saying that he’d read a survey that says women like men with afros.

Um, hello? WE’VE only been saying that for three years.

Really, we should start collecting royalties for the material he keeps ripping from EF.

I was ALL psyched about Jay Leno coming to Detroit this coming November to do a show…until I found out that tickets were going to be $600 each.

Do I really need to elaborate on how I feel about this?

Conan is great, too. I particularly liked the segments he did setting John Tesh’s “NBA on NBC” theme song to different movie and TV clips.

But Tae Kwan Do Jesus and those other statuettes were hilarious, because THEY REALLY DO EXIST! You can order them from a real catalogue.

Larry King was on Conan last week. Interestingly enough, I had no idea that Larry does this thing each week called “King’s Things.” It’s basically his set of random thoughts.

Imagine that.

I went online to read this week’s installment and I wanted to point out three of them because they related to my thoughts:

“Conan O’Brien is a very, very funny man. I guested again last week on his show and enjoyed all six minutes of my appearance.”

Totally backed my claim that Conan rocks.

“The kid on the Dell computer commercials work very well for the product. But isn’t he beginning to get on your nerves?”

NO! He’s quirky and I like that.

“Dude, you’re getting a Dell.”

Even before he started doing the commercials, my family has always gone with Dell.

But my laptop is a Sony, and it hates me.

I’m going to have to agree with Mel, that while laptops are resourceful, they SHOULD come with a complimentary bottle of Prozac.

“Frank Rich’s Saturday op-ed pieces in The New York Times are always near brilliant. The man has a style all his own.”

I’m not familiar with Frank Rich, but his comment reminded me of how much I like reading articles by Detroit Free Press columnist, Mitch Albom.

Whether the article is serious and hard-hitting, fun and humorous, or sincere and heart-felt, he’s very well written.

Have you heard of the best seller, “Tuesdays with Morrie”?

He wrote that, too.

I look forward to the upcoming weeks’ articles on the NHL Western Conference Finals.

Red Wings and Avalanche…considering the history of bad blood, it’s gonna be one hell of a series.

HEY, HEY HOCKEYTOWN!

I flipped to ESPN earlier to see if there was any hockey news, but who did I see instead?

Chris Connelly.

Remember, the MTV News guy? Now he’s got his own show called “Unscripted.”

Today he interviewed Jermaine O’Neal of the Indiana Pacers. They were chatting about the Nike commercial he’s in. You know, the one set in 1975, and they all have bellbottoms, and fros, and stuff?

Jerry Stackhouse was in that commercial, too.

I don’t care what y’all say…including some of you Detroiters, but the Pistons do NOT suck.

Granted, they were eliminated by Boston in the semi-finals, but at the beginning of the season, if anyone had predicted Detroit would be in the playoffs, they’d have been scrutinized and laughed at.

But what a surprisingly great season they had: Winning 50 games in the regular season to become the Central Division champs; Ben Wallace becoming Defensive Player of the Year; Rick Carlisle becoming Coach of the Year.

Joe Dumars made some good executive decisions, and is still working at it. Next year will be great.

But for now, at least there’s still hockey.

I want so badly to go to a playoff game…or even a concert coming up, but I’m stashing my money for my excursion to Orlando this summer.

Gotta hit up the Challenge, you know.

I’m totally psyched about it, really looking forward to the vacation time. It’s probably going to be my only trip this summer…although I’d really love to hit up Vegas to visit friends and family.

I was there three years ago, but I didn’t get to do too much because I was still only 20.

And my parents are retiring there in a couple years. So I wanna enjoy it before it loses a bit of its luster.

Oooh. Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” just came on the radio.

Emily and I need to finish our parody to that…so then I can go and parody Eminem’s “Without Me.”

Okay, I know there are a lot of fans pissed off about his comment on Chris. I’ve been to a lot of message boards where a lot of people were bitching and moaning about Em dissing Chris.

Get over it.

Seriously, a lot of people out there have harsh criticism about NSYNC. And besides, it’s Eminem…disses are expected. He’s trying to provoke controversy, deliberately trying to get a rise out of you. And if you’re bitching, you’re giving him what he wants: attention.

If you don’t like what Eminiem has to say, what he raps about and whatnot, here’s an idea: Ignore him.

Quite frankly, I like him…and dare I say it, RESPECT HIM. Maybe I don’t agree with everything he says or does, or what he portrays but I respect him.

And it especially bothers me when people are all like, “I can’t believe someone like HIM has a daughter.”

Damn right, he has a daughter, and he’s a GOOD father. If he weren’t, I’m sure the court wouldn’t have granted him joint custody.

And the fact that he separates his career from his personal life…it’s admirable, considering how nosy the media is, and the fact that SOME celebrities can’t handle the press correctly when in regards to their personal life *ahem*BRITNEY*cough*.

Okay, I think I’ve covered that point for now…and I’m sure the hatemail will start coming in now that the Eminem dissing Chris subject was brought up. Well, whether you love him or hate him, you CANNOT deny that he’s good at what he does. He’s got damn good rhyming skills and a knack for grabbing your attention.

[yawn] I’m exhausted and still have a couple of chapters to read, so I’m out.

This edition of Olivia’s Coherently Random…

Wait a minute.

I just reread what I’ve written thus far, and if you think about it, my thoughts really ARE coherently random. My thoughts are very much random (because they honestly have no point in regards to the site), yet I’ve presented them coherently, in a logical connected order.

Okay, now I can proceed to the production notes.

This edition of Coherently Random Thoughts was written exclusively for *NSYNC Jaded Everybody’s Free

© 2002 James Lance Bass Mississippi Productions

Hold up!

Okay, the field trip into Lance Fandom was fun, but considering I moved BACK to Bowie, I need a new production name.

Ideas? Hit me wit ‘em: NsyncJadedOJC@aol.com

I’d like to thank ©s for updating his website Monkeys R Us, just for me.

And Happy 22nd Birthday to my girl, Angel.

PEACE.