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  • Love's Labour's Lost:
    A Campaign Against Jennifer Love Hewitt

    NEW! Anti-JLH Photo Gallery!

    JLH is the worst

    BREAKING NEWS! I am organizing a boycott of Jennifer Love Hewitt. If you wish to participate, do not buy magazines with JLH on the cover. Do not go to see her movies, and do not rent or buy her movies. Don't buy products which she advertises, namely Neutrogena and Nokia. Speak with your wallets! Get this slut off the air! Thank you for your support.

    Why I hate 'Love'

  • The way she obsesses over her breasts.
    "There was a joke about how we were going to have to rename the movie I Know What Your Breasts Did Last Summer, because there was a pair of them flying around every scene -- it was either mine or Sarah [Michelle Gellar's]. [...] I just accepted them as a great accessory to every outfit. I was like, Who needs a necklace when you have those?"
    TV Guide Entertainment Network
    "Sometimes I call that movie, I Know What My Breasts Did Last Summer. I've come to realize that boobs can be a great accessory."
    New York Times
    "I've accepted them as just a great accessory to every outfit, kind of like a necklace."
    -on 'becoming' Audrey
    "I'm not sure how that's going to be pulled off, you know... one... [giggles]this is kinda weird but... Audrey Hepburn was very, very thin and very, very [giggles] flat-chested, and, um, I'm not flat chested, and so, there's you know, for that, we're gonna have to figure out some way 'cause if I'm gonna be her I can't all of sudden just say 'Well, congratulations Audrey... look what you inherited!'"
    "Being flat-chested is going to be the hardest thing to pull off. They're going to have to ACE bandage me or something."
    Cosmopolitan -"I had to wear a sport bra to minimize things."

  • The way JLH thinks of men. I acknowledge that they're not the brightest, but they're not toys.
    "I find it attractive when people don't know how to talk to other people."
    "Will [Freidle]'s my costar in Trojan War. I had a boyfriend [Joey Lawrence], but when I kissed Will on-set, my knees felt weak. [...]I said to Will, 'So, are you ever gonna ask me out? I've been waiting forever, and I'm getting pretty sick of it.' "
    "One of my favorite things to do is kiss Will. It's the only thing better than chocolate!"
    "He'd have to be named Carson. No, let's see. He'd have to make me laugh." (on the ideal groom)
    "I'm someone who has severe cramps. I think that once a month [men] should be kicked where the sun doesn't shine--at the lightest possible level, because I know that's a sensitive area--but kicked, just so they know what it feels like."

  • This is self-explanatory:
    "I'm not secure in my figure. If I could shower in my bathing suit, I would."

    "I think in society, the way you look has a lot to do with where you sit in society. I don't know if it's necessarily a bad thing."
    "I think that especially in the entertainment industry it is a known fact that no one is going to go watch a movie for two hours that stars a girl with no make-up, pimples on her face, greasy hair and sweat. It's just not going to happen. They need eye candy. They need something to be watching when the scenes that they're not getting something from are going on. [...] I don't mind that stuff at all. [...] I'll wear the outfits, and I feed into the eye candy thing as much as I can."
    "The producers said straight to my face, 'There's no 12- or 13-year-old boy who's gonna want to see this horror film if the lead girl is wearing a sweatsuit the entire time.' Of course they're right."
    "I hate having this image of being a delicate actress."
    "I would just love once to be called sexy. You know, like when somebody walks by and my friends go, "Wow, she's really sexy!" With Salma Hayek, people say, she's beautiful, she's sexy. I've heard people say that about you. That is so cool. I would love that."
    "I think [in high school] people look around the hallways and say 'that guy's cool, that guy's not' and you're stuck that way for four years. I didn't ask to be uncool. Wait a second, I rock!"

  • This one explains itself as well:
    "Once, as I was screaming, one flew into my mouth and I just kind of moved my mouth enough to where it would fly out. I'm lucky it didn't pee acid on my tongue! (on filming I Still Know.. amongst insects)
    "I play this annoying, perky airhead with no braincells at all. It was so fun!" (on Telling You)

  • Her view of acting.
    "If I'm trapped in teen roles, it's the best possible trap in the world. I have the best life."
    "I jumped at the project because it was the first adult role I've been offered." (on The Suburbans)
    "As a girl it's great because you get to wear all the best clothes, every single day people want to make you look beautiful and you get to do all these romantic story lines."

    I know this site will cause a lot of controversy.
    NOTE TO PO'ed FANS OF JLH: If you hear me out fairly, I will hear you out fairly. I'd just like you to notice that I did not criticize JLH because she looks like a horse or anything else she can't help.

    If this site gets anywhere, it's because it has stood on the shoulders of giants. I would like to thank Hepburn Fans Against JLH and ANTI-LOVE for being the muses for this site. And now that ANTI-LOVE has shut down (it can still be viewed), I hope to continue its legacy.

    Note to JLH fans who will NOT hear me out fairly. Pressing Alt and F4 at the same time will take you to a place where you belong, the mind of JLH! You will be amazed by how much you can relate to it.

    Anyhow, next time you see JLH (malheureusement, it will probably be soon) think to yourself: 'Love,' your labours to be popular are lost on me!