Champion
floorfiller down our way. The title sounds like something Terry-Thomas
might have uttered upon glimpsing Joan Greenwood through a crack in her
dressing room, slipping from her bodice-ripping garb. Is she still with
us, Joan Greenwood? Forgive my ignorance? Er, anyway, to the punk rock
slab I hold in my hand now… what can I say? They've been listening to
Roxy Music right? It's not just my imagination is it? This is cowpoke
Roxy by indiepop supergroup? Come on admit it? Hey, it's great stuff -
I'm not knocking it - not least for being under a hundred seconds long.
But it owes more to Renovation than Innovation. No? Oh, who cares... how
can you not love it?
Snow
White - Stop Anything (White Heat 10" single)
Another
five quid wasted were my initial feelings when I got this home and subjected
my timid stylus to its abrasive grooves. The history of throat damage
volume 21. I shoved it in the back of that wine box I now use for my expanding
collection of ten-inchers. (Right at the back it went, way behind the
Super Electrics and the So Said Kays, and the new ones by your Keren Anns
and your Jeremy Warmsleys… what taste!) But then I heard it again on the
radio (of all places) and reminded myself that I actually owned that blistering
racket and, further, on second helpings it wasn't that bad. Yeah, so I
dug it out and played it again, and again. I soon realised I was wrong
and they were right. It comes on like a post art-rock generation 'Feed
Me With Your Kiss' - although Snow White and the White Heat mob were probably
in nappies when MBV were in the chart. Anyway the upshot is if you're
partial to noisy brats abusing your speakers then it's worth your five
quid (although, apparently, this is Snow White in their more reflective
mode so God knows what they sound like when their in a huff.) But if you
like the more esoteric then Jeremy Warmsley is more your man.
Larrikin
Love - Happy As Annie (Transgressive 7")
This is
an absolute joy. Clever, brilliant, lively, tender, romantic, tragic.
A mixture of ska, punk, folk, indie performed by Dickensian street urchins.
I've just read somewhere that they've been snapped up by some major label.
Indie/major - who cares? So don't worry about not getting a copy of this
elusive 7" - he said, the smug bastard - it's bound to be reissued/rerecorded
next year and go Top 10. (I'm a champion tipster, don't you know. Guillemots
to win The Mercury Prize!) I'll have two dozen more singles like this
one please over the next two or three years, gladly. Bring me more.
The
Rifles - Local Boy (Right Hook 7")
As we
enter award ceremony season, if they're giving out prizes to most overlooked
genius of 2005, then my vote would go to The Rifles. Their last single
was fab, and so is this one. OK, sure, it's a bit Dad Rock maybe - the
title recalls The Stereophonics - but, in spirit, they remind me more
of The 60ft Dolls (another group allowed to wither away before their time.)
Hey and have you noticed this trend for signed singles these day? It seems
like every other record I buy has some two-bit popstar's indelible tag
scrawled all over it. Are record sales so low that groups actually have
the time and wrist power for such things? I get repetitive-strain injury
just signing-on once a fortnight. I don't know whether I should be grateful
or worried. Perhaps a bit of both. Anyway, back to the point: check out
The Rifles.
Omerta
- One Chance (Northern Ambition 7")
There's
a kind of interesting blandness to Omerta. Even their name seems to suggest
nothingness. They could be very big if they carry it through. Note how
the more boring a band can be the bigger they get. Keane, Coldplay, U2.
I'm left nonplussed by 'One Chance' as I was by their previous single.
Its synthy new wave, part nostalgic part futuristic. I will say this though,
the b-side 'Synchronise Your Smiles' whilst similar to the above also
strays into Stone Roses territory with very pleasant results. So, yeah,
worth buying for that I suppose, he said unconvincingly.
Keren
Ann - Chelsea Burns (EMI 10" single)
It ain't
rocket surgery. Write a good tune and you're halfway there. Sing it nicely
and you've pretty much cracked it. You can't ask for anything more from
this beautiful Keren Ann record. I know nothing about her - I wonder if
her Keren's a Derren thing - but I reckon there's a strong sixties influence
behind it. Any mention of Chelsea conjures up those psychedelic images
of some Bohemian pad with hippies and beat poetry and bongs and arty pictures
and sitar music and Jose Mourinho devising way-out new strategies on the
chalkboard. Anyone who likes the new Cat Power single or remembers with
fondness Mazzy Star's 'Fade Into You' will love 'Chelsea Burns'. I can't
believe I'm saying this but EMI has a pretty neat roster at the moment.
Whoever's in charge of their A&R has superb taste. That said, superb taste
doesn't shift units. Quite the opposite. I'll be surprise if this gem
hits sales figures requiring the comma.
The
Hot Puppies - Terry (Fandango 7")
The
Pups have been around for a while… er, well, for at least two years if
not more and that's a long time in today's music business. So maybe this
is their breakthrough single. Breakthrough to what I'm not exactly sure:
a few spins of XFM? A review in the NME? A month long tour as support
band? Anyway, it's a nice enough song - a little dated perhaps, a little
early 1990s. But OK. Is 'Terry' a common name these days? I keep thinking
of Dennis Waterman and Twinkle. Who's she singing about? I don't know
anyone in their early twenties called Terry but then, er, come to think
of it, I don't know anyone in their early twenties (Oh, er, apart from
The Arctic Monkeys who are my best mates.)
Bromheads
Jacket - What If's & Maybe's (Marquis Cha Cha 7")
I ain't
sure about the use or ab-use of the apostrophe. That Eats, Shits and
Bleeds woman would have a field day with this one. But I knows me
Punk Rock and this one's the dog's pickled onions. Witty, observant, happening
right now, and a damn brilliant tune to boot. Urban genius. A single of
the year. A single of someone's life, I expect! Slightly reminiscent of
Splodge's Two Pints - but less irritating, better in fact. The b-side,
Lions On The Prowl, recounts a night out looking for food after the club
has kicked out. It's a little bit Streets, a little bit Ritz To The Rubble.
And therefore lacks the originality of it's a-side. What next? Narratives
about vomiting into broken toilets? Waking up next morning with your arm
around a strange kebab?