“Why are you like this?” Zac asked over the phone when Ruby wouldn’t say much.
“Like what?”
“Like all not talking to me. You seem weird,” Zac said.
“Zac, I can’t do this anymore,” she said pulling her knees up to her chest as she sat
in the hallway.
“What are you talking about?”
“This. Me and you,” she told him in an aggrivated tone. “I just can’t.” She held
her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes.
“What? Talking on the phone?”
She took a deep breath as tears started to form in her eyes. “No. We can’t... we
can’t be together anymore. It’s just not what I want right now.”
Zac remained quiet as he tried to figure out what she meant. “Why isn’t it what
you want?”
“I can’t go on for two more years of college constantly wondering where my
boyfriend is and making sure I don’t fuck up and piss you off,” she explained. “It’s too
much and I just want..,” she trailed off as a tear streamed down her cheek.
“You just want to break up with me?” He asked.
She sniffed and closed her eyes. “Yeah,” she said quietly.
They both stayed silent until Zac finally spoke up. “What did I do?”
“Nothing,” she told him. “If you were here right now or I was home in Oklahoma,
things would be different. But I can’t handle this anymore.”
“So there’s nothing I can do to fix it? What do you want me to do? Drop out of
high school and move up there?” Zac proposed starting to get angry. “Because I will if
that’s what it takes for me not to lose you.”
“No, that’s stupid. You can’t do that. There’s nothing you can do. It’s
something I need,” she said.
“What’s going to happen when you come home? I mean, is it going to be just like
last time where you didn’t think we should be together and then we had sex the day you
came home for Christmas?”
“Zac,” she said closing her eyes. “No, it’s not. It can’t be like that anymore.”
Zac paused before asking his next question. “Is there somebody else?”
She let out a deep breath in the phone. “No. There’s no one else, Zac. That’s the
point.”
“Well...” Zac began sadly. “What am I supposed to do?”
Another tear ran down Ruby’s cheek. “Bitch about me and then date other people
and eventually forget about me,” she said trying to lighten things up.
“Ruby,” he said. “That’ll never happen.”
************************************
“This is so ceremonious,” Natasha said watching as Ruby packed a box of Zac’s
things to ship him. “Are you giving the jewelry back?”
“Yeah,” Ruby answered quietly.
“Shoot, I wouldn’t. That’s shit’s nice.”
“Well, I don’t deserve it,” Ruby said unclasping the necklace and placing it in the
back belvet box.
“What’s he gonna do with it anyway?” Natasha asked.
Ruby shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. But I can’t keep it.” She opened
the box where she kept the earrings and looked at the ring on her finger. She slid it off
and placed it in the box with the earrings. She placed the jewelry on top of the sweatshirt,
his favorite t-shirt, and the stuffed monkey that were already in the box. “I think that’s
everything,” she sighed. She walked over to her stereo and ejected the tape he made her.
She looked at it and decided to keep it.
********************************
“Zac,” his mother knocked on his bedroom door.
“Hmm?” He answered.
“Dinner’s ready,” she said sticking her head in the doorway.
“I’m not hungry,” he said laying on his stomach.
“Listen, sweetie,” she said coming in the room. “If you want to talk about Ruby -”
“I don’t want to talk about her,” he interrupted.
“Okay,” she nodded. “But remember, you can talk to your brothers or any of us if
you want.”
“I know.”
“It’ll be okay,” she assured him. When Zac didn’t respond she left his room
closing the door behind her. Zac rolled over on his back and stared up at the ceiling.
*****************************
A couple weeks later, Ruby was still going out with Jacob. The went to various
poetry readings which here sometimes boring but Jacob liked them. He went with her
when she had art in a gallery, or sometimes they just stayed in and ate dinner together.
“Why don’t we go eat this in bed and watch a movie?” Ruby proposed sitting at
Jacob’s kitchen table after they had ordered Chinese food.
“Are you kidding? Those are Calvin Klein sheets in there,” he informed her.
“Oh.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t do other things on those sheets,” he said as he
finished his cashew chicken.
She let out a small laugh and looked down at her food. He put his silver ware
down and pushed the plate back before reaching over to take a fortune cookie. Ruby
raised her eyebrows when he didn’t wait for her to finish.
He laughed as he opened his. “Be your own best friend,” he read. “That’s lame.”
“Um, I have to go,” she said scooting her chair back.
“What?” He laughed. “I thought you were spending the night.”
“No, I really shouldn’t,” she said. The whole chinese food thing reminded her of
Zac and it freaked her out. “I just remembered I have to get home. I’m really sorry.”
“I don’t understand. Is something wrong?” He asked standing up with her.
“I just need to go,” she said taking her coat off the coat rack. “I’ll call you
tomorrow.”
“Ruby,” he walked towards her.
“No, don’t worry,” she said leaning up to briefly kiss him. “It’s no big deal.
Thanks for diner though.”
“Okay,” he said confused. “Call me tomorrow?”
“Definitely. I’m sorry again,” she said before leaving.
When she got home, there was a box on her bed that Natasha had obviously
brought up from downstairs. She took off her coat and looked down to see the return
address was Zac’s. She tore open the box and inside was the stuffed monkey. She picked
it up and sat on her bed. In the pocket of the overalls it had on was a folded up piece of
notebook paper. She took it out and unfolded it to read Zac’s handwriting.
I just couldn't cry
No matter how hard I try
I knew the love we shared was dead
Until she gave me a letter
With some words she wrote down
And I swear this is what she said
She said...
Love of my life our first night together
We sat in the rain and talked forever
Love of my life your carefree way
Showed me the potential of each and
every day
But love of my life
When you told me today
That my place was gone
In your carefree way
I realized...
She said...
She said love of my life now I finally see
A carefree way wasn't meant for me
The pain I feel you just can't understand
You'd think it as fire, pull away your hand
But love of my life
When you told me today
That my place was gone in your carefree
way
I realized...
She said...
Love of my life your arms were never shy
To hold me tight when I needed to cry
Love of my life you made me believe
And for that I do love you but I know I
must leave
Because love of my life
When you told me today
That my place was gone
In your carefree way
I realized...
Oh yes she realized, and for once so did I
Because it occurred to me the love of my
life was she
And then and only then I started to cry*
**THE END**
Song credits go to Blues Traveler, "Love of my Life"
Hey! It's over, can you believe it?? Let me know what you think everybody!!!
EPILOGUE
Email: casey_nyc@hotmail.com
