This panda was sitting under a bamboo tree. It started to eat the leaves from this tree. A short while later the panda became tired and took a nap.
The panda woke up and went for a crawl. In the distance it could see a second panda.
The panda walked up to the other panda. The newly discovered panda (who we will call panda-2) started to talk. It said “Wow.. someone has come along! You have no idea how long I have been sitting here growing lonely!”
Panda-1 responded “What do you know of my ideas. How are you so certain that I have not been scaring off the other pandas to keep you lonely?”
Panda-2 started chewing some bamboo leaves. Panda-1 said “Well aren’t you going to answer me?” Panda-2 said “What makes you think I can talk?” and continued to chew bamboo leaves.
Panda-1 exclaimed “Fine, there is of course only one way to settle this.” Panda-1 ripped a bamboo stalk from the ground, and prepared to swing it at Panda-2.
The bamboo stalk was rotating quickly towards Panda-2 building speed up!
Panda-2 rolled out of the way. Panda-1 swung the stalk again but this time Panda-2 got hold of it and lifted it, so that Panda-1 was high in the air holding onto the other end of the stalk.
Panda-1 jumped off the stalk and slid down another bamboo tree. Then Panda-1 charged at Panda-2 knocking it over.
Panda-1 leaned over in exhaustion. “Ok” it said, “is it settled?”
Panda-2 said “Yeah, and I’m keeping this bamboo stalk.”
Panda-1 dozed off and Panda-2 headed off into the distance with his bamboo stalk over his shoulder.
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Panda-2 came by a river. He sat down at the rivers edge, and looked across to the other side. A fisherman was sitting at the river fishing.
He looked at the panda with its bamboo stalk and gasped. “Bloody crap!” exclaimed the fisherman. The fisherman walked over to Panda-2 and said “Please teach me how to fish with a bamboo stalk.
Panda-2 replied “Are you crazy? Asking a panda for fishing lessons?”
The fisherman replied “Don’t call me crazy! Just teach me to fish!”
Panda-2 said “You old bastard!” Panda-2 swung the bamboo stalk at the fisherman who jumped it. The fisherman again pleaded “Teach me to fish you fat panda!”
Panda-2 looked over at the fisherman’s gear. “Whats in that bottle?” asked Panda-2?
“That? That’s just wine” replied the fisherman.” Panda-2 took hold of the bottle and started drinking the wine.
“My sore foot!” screamed the fisherman, “Give me some of that!”
“Ha ha ha!” laughed Panda-2, and he threw the bottle of wine at the fishermans foot.
“OUCH!!” said the fisherman, “Now my foot IS sore!! You sonnofa bitch!!” The fisherman started drinking the wine. The two of them dozed for quite some time.
A few days later Panda-2 crawled off with some wine and fish tied in a cloth on the end of his bamboo stalk.
