Takeo - Hey, no ideas yet for the next part of Cobalt in the Desert Sea, so I'm doing a songfic instead.
Shuu - Takeo doesn't own YST or us. Neither does she own 'Torn' sung by Natalie Imbruglia. Warnings, lime, and abuse. And lots of angst.

Torn

~I thought I saw man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry.~

Shuu smiled as Touma's arms wrapped around him after their latest bout in their bed.

"I think I overdosed on the syrup." Touma whispered cheekily as he pressed his body into Shuu's, the cobalt-eyed boy blushing shyly.

"You wouldn't let me participate." Shuu replied as his eyes shone warmly at his lover.

"Yes, but you did have fun." Touma replied as he kissed Shuu, smelling the earthly scent that defined Shuu.

"Now you're being cruel." Shuu said as he shut his eyes in sleep, pale and bronzed limbs in a gentle tangle.

~Well you couldn't be that man that I adore
You don't seem to know, seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore~

Shuu sat up in bed as the familiar pale body of his love walked into their room at 3 o'clock in the morning.

"Touma, I've been so worried about you. Where have you been?" Shuu asked.

"Out." Touma replied coldly as he sank to his side of the bed, smelling of alcohol. Shuu swallowed a small cry and sat back against the bed. His heart hurt so much and his cheeks were the only witnesses to his tears.

~There's nothing were he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn.~

Shuu sat up as he studied late at night for an exam. He hadn't seen Touma for three months now; he had tried looking for him. Seiji decided to go with Shuu to look for Touma. They arrived at a bar and they walked in. Shuu didn't like this kind of place. It had sex written all over it. Seiji's lilac orbs were their usual cold look and they softened as they saw distress written plainly in Shuu's cobalt eyes. Shuu tucked his hands into his jacket and sighed. He caught sight of Touma kissing another man, and his heart broke. He left without a word, Seiji following him, disgusted at his friend's betrayal.

"Can we please go home Seiji?" Shuu asked. Seiji nodded and took Shuu home.

"Shuu, if you need to talk, you know where to find me." Seiji offered kindly as he rested a hand on Shuu's shoulder. Shuu nodded and headed to his room. Seiji came up an hour later and heard sobs coming from Shuu's room. He opened the door and found the trooper hunched over his science textbook, studying from an exam, desperately wiping the tears from his eyes. Seiji stood there in shock. Shuu was the strongest of all the Troopers and his heart was as fragile as glass when it came to love. Seiji stepped into the room, Shuu looking up, desperately trying to stop his tears.

~I'm out of faith
This is now I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Lying naked on the floor~

Shuu smiled weakly as Seiji sat on his bed next to him, brushing back the thick smoky blue locks that covered Shuu's eyes since he didn't have his orange bandanna to hold them back.

"You shouldn't let Touma treat you like this Shu-kun." Seiji said as he pressed a kiss to Shuu's forehead. Shuu blushed and turned away.

"I've been used Seiji. I loved Touma, I thought that he loved me. But he doesn't and I still can't find the strength to leave after all that he 's done to me. I knew he had been drinking a lot and I tried to help." Shuu said as he wiped away even more tears. It was then that Seiji noticed several cuts on Shuu's arms.

"What happened?" Seiji asked as he rolled back the sleeves, even more cuts and now bruises making themselves known. Shuu looked away, ashamed.

"He was always angry, and he cut me. He always apologized when he returned to his senses. I don't understand why he has to hurt me." Shuu whispered hoarsely as he pulled away from Seiji.

"Shuu, you can't stay here." Seiji whispered in anger.

"You should leave Seiji. Don't tell anyone. He might hurt you too." Shuu whispered as he pulled his sweater closer to him, fighting off a cold. Seiji was deeply hurt and Shuu's words made it worse.

"Fine. Can't you see I'm trying to help you?" Seiji shouted angrily as he stormed out. Shuu smiled wistfully. I'm sorry Seiji, I can’t let him hurt you too…

~Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
And I see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn~

A few days later, Seiji fully assessed Shuu's situation and regretted his outburst. But what can I do? I love him, and he belongs to another who doesn't care about him.

Seiji went downstairs for breakfast. He saw Touma's back as he headed out of the front door. That meant that Shuu was alone. Seiji went into the kitchen. Shuu turned around, keeping his back to Seiji, his posture indicated that he was very startled, relief flooding his eyes as he noticed that the intruder was Seiji.

"Morning Seiji." Shuu said as he hid his face behind his cereal bowl and tried to sneak past Seiji. Seiji stopped him and took away the bowl. A large bruise tarnished a bronzed cheek, a few cuts above Shuu's eyebrow. Shuu looked away and broke out of Seiji's grasp.

"Gods Shuu, what happened?" Seiji asked as he led Shuu to the living room. Shuu looked away, a pained look in his eyes.

"Touma was mad last night. He hit me, a lot actually and then he cut me." Shuu said as he screamed in anger at his weakness.

"Shuu, Touma is destroying you! You don't deserve this!" Seiji shouted as he felt tears sting his own eyes.

"Don't you think that I realize that? He needs me Seiji. Despite all this." Shuu snapped at Seiji, and then lowered angered cobalt orbs.

"That isn't love. It's not supposed to hurt. This is what love feels like Shuu!" Seiji cried. He seized Shuu's face in his hands gently and locked lips with Shuu. Letting his tongue explore Shuu's mouth thoroughly, a small whimper from Shuu reaching Seiji's ears. Seiji pulled away slowly from Shuu, a blissful smile on his lips.

~So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light~

Shuu smiled and blushed, the darkness in his eyes lifted.

"Seiji, what can I do? The Touma now is very different from the one I fell in love with." Shuu asked.

"First things first. I'll heal that wound of yours, and then, your heart." Seiji whispered softly as he kissed Shuu again, the sweet feeling reassuring them both.

~Which crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I had no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can touch I'm torn~

"Ryo, Shuu and I and heading out of town for a while. I'll call as soon as we get there." Seiji said that evening as he and Shuu were packed and ready to leave. Shin and Ryo were aware of all that was happening and consented. It was a good thing that Nasuti had a year round study at a college in England.

"Sure thing Seiji. Good luck." Ryo whispered as the blond trooper nodded, his hand tightening his grip on Shuu's hand. Shuu smiled at Shin and Ryo and he and Seiji left.

~I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am ashamed
Lying naked on the floor~

Touma came home later that evening, swearing a blue streak as he stumbled up the stairs. By the looks of things, no one was home. Shuu has to be home. He has exams tomorrow. He'll be waiting for me. Touma opened the door to Shuu's room and looked around. None of his lover's possessions were in the room. Touma saw red as he checked all the rooms. Shin and Ryo's stuff was still there. He went to Seiji's room and found the place empty as well. Touma smashed his beer bottle against the wall. Leave it to Seiji to steal his lover away from him. I'm coming for what's mine Seiji.

~Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn~

Shuu sighed as he and Seiji sat in a small restaurant, eating a small meal before they finished their journey. Shuu rested his head against Seiji, wondering what in the world Seiji had done to him. Seiji smiled at those warm cobalt eyes and kissed Shuu on his nose.

"I'm not some kind of witch Shuu. I just love you, that's all." Seiji said as he guessed Shuu's train of thought in his eyes. Shuu's eyes were the best part of him. They radiated their true feelings. Shuu blushed.

"I love you too." Shuu whispered. They finished their food and headed out to Shuu's blue van. Once again on the road, they spotted a familiar car crashed into the side of the road.

"That's Touma's!" Seiji said as he stopped the van and he and Shuu jumped out. Shuu choked back a sob as they pulled Touma's mangled body from the crash just as paramedics arrived.

~There's nothing were he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what 's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn.~

Touma opened his eyes wearily. A pair of cobalt eyes stared back at him.

"Shuu?" he whispered groggily. His body felt like hell, his head wasn't far off.

"You were in an accident." Shuu said.

"I was on my way to Seiji's dojo, to kill him for taking you away. I've been punished. I know it. I'm sorry Shuu, for hurting you so badly." Touma whispered, tears falling his blue eyes. Shuu felt sad for this boy, lost in his own confusion.

"I'm sorry too." Shuu said as the doctors ushered him away so that they could work on Touma. Seiji looked up and saw Shuu with a distraught look on his face.

"Is he alright?" Seiji asked as Shuu sat by his side.

"He'll be fine. He just needs help." Shuu replied as Seiji's hand held his.

~I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn~

Touma sat in his bed in the hospital, his mind cleared up long enough for him to realize him mistakes. I've hurt Shuu so much… I shouldn't have hit him. I was angry and drunk. Never in control. I couldn't understand why someone as kind as him would love me. I rarely speak to people and I only want to be among my books. He made my world brighter and made me see that there is so much to see and do. So many worlds that my books will never show me. Can I win him back? The doctor came in and smiled as she saw that Touma was awake.

"Mr. Hashiba, I'm very glad that you're recovering. We want to help you get over your problem and live your life to the fullest." The doctor said. Touma nodded.

"Anything to make me feel whole again." Touma whispered. And I need Shuu… The doctor noted the determination in those blue orbs and smiled. A few days later, Touma was released and in high spirits. A taxi dropped him off at the Trooper's manor and four smiling faces greeted him.

~I'm all out of faith
This is now I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn.~

Touma smiled as his friends crowded around him and hugged him.

"Welcome back Touma." Shin said.

"Yeah." Ryo added as he ruffled Touma's blue hair. Touma smiled.

"I'm sorry for all the trouble that I've caused. And all the pain." Touma said as he looked directly at Shuu. Shuu smiled warmly. He had forgiven Touma and with a little persuasive talking, gotten Seiji to agree with him.

They went inside and Touma held Shuu back.

"Shuu, is there any possible way for me to…" Touma asked, knowing fully well that Shuu would understand him. Cobalt eyes looked back.

"I can't. I'm sorry Touma. You broke my heart and hurt me beyond any boundary. We can never go back to that because, I love Seiji now. But, I forgive you and I will do my best to be friends." Shuu whispered before he ran. The damage had been done. Touma would never win Shuu's heart back.

~Torn…~

The End

Takeo - Okay, so that was a lot of angst.
Shuu - You almost killed me!
Takeo - No I didn't and glares don't work Seiji. I'm immune *evil chuckle*