Cancel the sunrise,
Live in the mist,
Exist in story,
And never fall in love.
Once in a lifetime
We get a gift
It can be ignored
Or it can be born
It’s too bad no one knows
They only get that one chance.
Twice in a lifetime
We get a promise
That we will always be us
And no one else
Despite the fact
That some people don’t want that promise
Thrice in a lifetime
We get love
Love that only takes three chances
For you to realize that’s it’s true
And that’s it’s been there all along
Just like it always will be
I feel too old for me
What I am is too real
The cloud of youth has lifted
Burned off in the dawn of realization
And I live every moment alive
I know I'm living
Because I feel pain
Have you any desire to stare at the moon,
To wish upon this earth the destruction of mankind,
To undo all that has been done...
Have you any desire for a kiss,
A death of all what is solid,
And hope for something more...
All for one...
Do you ask yourself, why me?
Why love,
Why now...
Do you wish for death,
For love?
Don't think of it as something
Don't think of it at all
Put down my heart
I'll put down my soul
And together we'll think of nothing at all
the words:
glorious healer
gateway to the undone
don't hold me
don't let me go
the voice:
my hands are heaven sent
my wrath is the destruction of beauty
killing is three-fold stalwart
but only if they were the one
I stood
His spirit drifted by
Dim twilight illuminated
What I had always seen inside
His once bright eyes
Glared blankly at me
Through me
Seeing without comprehension
I touched cool flesh
Brought to life in vain
The bright eyes blinked
Filled again with the departed spirit
“I was free,” the mouth said
Holding each word
Tasting them
Stale breath slipped out in a breeze
“No,” I whispered
“Life is freedom
“While amidst the freedom only
“Were you tricked into the devil’s paradise”
My words hung in the air
Mixing with stale breath and decay
Amongst the death in the room
They died too
His limp head shook in disagreement
“No,” he spoke, his words almost gone
“My life was pain
“Clouded with a false freedom”
Hot tears grew in my eyes
His words were true
His words were those of his spirit
A shiver ran through me
His last strength moved his eyes
They connected with my own
The brightness almost oblivious
I cried
His mouth began to open
Wet with my tears
I silenced the mouth with my fingers
“Save the strength you have,” I whispered
A frail hand took mine
Cool lips kissed the fingers
“Let me be free,” slipped out of the mouth
And shut were his eyes
His body grew heavy in my arms
On the floor, I placed it with a prayer
His life was no more
Nor was his pain
I stood
His spirit drifted by
Leaving the living
And with his heart went mine
I forget who I am
Because you’re not you
It stirs something within
It’s the blackness be afraid
But it passes before I can grab hold
Only because you can’t touch
And I pop my body with an eager thirst
STOP
I’m living in the past
Time goes by but it stays in your head
And a touch had befallen me in the night
The blackness of the night oh be afraid
A scratching gnawing bloody brawl
But it was wonderful
The stars had brought no joy
Why is it always in the night the blackness
And I can’t breathe
You recall you remember you know
Because the night had brought a pain
The freedom of emotions it was your fault
And suddenly I feel dirty
The need to claw at my innards is unbearable
I reach down and bring up black dry blood
From whence it came you know now you know everything
And remember everything
...
Every black moment
You loved the pain and it was your fault
The conscience within me is beating like a heart
Waiting it can only be waiting
Waiting for me to find out what to do next
Or who to do next
Its silence is black
Body heat
And the bringer sleeps silently beside
Next time will be better
I’m angry with the ignorant
Ones who know who they are
or think they do
And know nothing else
With no desire
With no loss
They cluster
And debate
But the facts are stale
And no one will tell
Or ever find out
Everything they’ve ever done
ever do
Has been seen
And seen again
And they will never know
Although the effects are away
And don’t touch
I feel scorched
With their lack of patience
And desire
Or their overabundance of repetition
And desire
I’ll groan
Because they’re everywhere
They eat up clichés
And sing the brilliance of loud bass beats
I wonder
If I’m only angry
Because there’s one of me
And thousands
Millions
Billions
Of you
The child’s world is one
Of scabby knees and asking permission
A pampered and protected environment
One that lets them know no more than that
Of playing in the snow
To return to a heated kitchen
To warm the numb bottoms
And thinking nothing more
Than
This is the life
A baby came into the world
The same day as countless thousands
It brought a family much joy
Without thought of pain or misery
The woman cried
The man held the baby’s hand
His brothers and sisters fought over holding him
And he didn’t remember a moment of it
The baby grew
As babies tend to do
He clumsily stumbled though his toddler years
With many cuts and bumps
But the woman took great care
And kissed him often
The man cuddled and purred sweet lullabies
As the tiny boy aged
Being a short child
He was often teased and pushed
While it was not his fault
His peers saw that he was different
He often hid away behind furniture
With eyes closed
And a mind set on a far away place
Where he was king and taller than everyone
The boy became a little man
With a face of pimples
He stopped loving the man and woman
And spent many days in his room
His brothers and sisters
Were all old
He no longer had anyone to relate to
So he shut his mind and found new friends
School was simple
So when it was over the boy had hopes
He moved away
And cried when the man and woman helped him pack
He was tall and strong
And they told him they were proud
A queer smile graced his lips
Thinking it was all too easy
The young man quickly realized
How much money way needed in reality
He found that the bank was his new favourite place
Stealing the spot of the mall right under his feet
He wore suits and felt old
And hurried in uncomfortable shoes
His small apartment was modest
He needed a companion
The man sat with the phone close to his ear
Just far away enough to pretend it didn’t happen
His parents had died
And he hadn’t known they were sick
He buried them later
And continued on with his life
He felt lonelier still
Approaching the middle and feeling like a boy
Now the man was old
He saw grey often and wore hats
Some of his hair had disappeared
And he was still lonely
His suits were out of date
And wearing thin
His boss handed him a piece of paper
And said words of parting
His life had no meaning
He thought as he walked back to his modest home
He heard crying
So he shambled over to an alley
A little girl sat shivering on a box
With tatters for clothes and matted hair
He touched her face
And she ran into his arms and stained his shirt with tears
She explain quickly with small words
Men with rope and guns
They had taken her
She wanted her parents
A crash and bang
Sent his attention down the alley
Where two men came close
They had weapons
And were much bigger than the thin old man
He hurriedly told the girl to run to the police
After telling her directions
She got out okay
And lived a full life of happiness
But the old man could not be so lucky
After taking a shot to the heart he laid down
He felt so tired
So he left the police arrest the horrible men
And then the old man died
It took a long time
With much pain and many tears
But no one was there
To hold his hand
To chase his fears
So he left frail and afraid
And nobody cared
Tomorrow will start within minutes
The clock goes down, only numbers
Children dance in my mind
Reminding me of the youth I’ll never have
The youth I passed to mine
The youth that mine passed to theirs
My frail and bony fingers twiddle my hair
Hair that was rich and golden
Hair that is coarse and white
I’ve survived through my ages
I’ve cried over what is lost
I anticipate what is to come
What I would change, given the chance
Is nothing at all
Tomorrow is so close it’s today
Tomorrow I will laugh
Tomorrow I will live
Tomorrow I will love
Tomorrow will come again
Buy a ticket,
Find a seat and sit down,
Don’t look at anyone,
They think they have a right to look back,
Trace your feet,
Admire your sneakers,
Love yourself for your wealth,
Hum one of your songs,
And stare the little bug and the windowsill down,
Wish you were that bug,
Then kill it,
You know you want to,
It thinks it is better than you,
And it scares you,
Scratch you eyebrow,
And crack your neck,
Get comfortable,
You’re going to be here a while,
The ticket was one way,
And the bus goes in a circle,
You can’t get off,
No matter how much you bribe the driver,
He’s deaf and dumb and can’t write,
He likes you though,
And wishes you would obey his rules,
Don’t stand up when the bus is in motion,
Though he can’t say it to you,
He didn’t even know what the sign said when he bought it,
You sold it to him,
Don’t you remember?
He does,
He didn’t look the way he does now,
At that time he was young and had high hopes,
Just the same as you,
Until the day came when he did the same as the rest of you on the bus,
Except the difference between him and you,
Is that he could drive a bus,
Him and the sleeping man in the back,
Taking up three seats,
The bus driver takes another turn,
Sending all the people on the right side to the left,
Technically he’s in charge,
But then again he’s not,
He didn’t buy the bus,
He would have warned you about the turn,
But he can’t talk,
He told you in his silent language,
That you will come to learn in time,
But you weren’t listening,
Were you?
There is a good-looking woman,
She’s sitting in the aisle,
Rocking back and forth,
Humming your song,
Her shoes are too small,
And they always will be,
The man beside her is playing with the release on the window,
He still thinks this is a game,
So let’s play, he thinks,
The window opens slightly at the top,
Just enough to get a paper out,
What a tease,
You stand up to help him,
You still think this is a game too,
The bus driver takes another turn,
Hold on,
Falling, falling,
From the floor you look up and see a child,
How could it possibly?
Haven’t you figured it out yet?
Everyone is welcome on the bus,
They don’t look at age or sex,
They want everyone to buy a ticket,
This isn’t the only bus,
And you’re not the only selfish pig to get on,
You’re not getting off,
You never will,
Please sit down,
The bus is in motion.
Laughter binds the happy
In true
Not falsified
But you can not pretend happy
And still laugh with truth
Happy is a good start
When finding emotion
And life
Because it is the basis
Of everything opposite
Similar
And exact
If forced
Than anger prevails
But when given time
It grows from choice
And is beautiful
Love is the action
Of true happy
Because it is forever
And desires no end
Laughter is beauty
And everything founded by
Can be happy
But if this is the life
Then what is the death?
The kids are asleep
The husbands are at work
What do you want to do?
What do you want to do?
You’re done the dishes
And I’ve done mine
We’ve no more chores
No more cares
The baby finally fell
She’ll be gone for hours
What do you want to do?
You know what I want
I can’t help but see your legs
So slim and so strong
They peek from your skirt
And end in rolled socks
Stop scurrying about
Stop glancing that way
I’m here
And so are you
Sit with me
I won’t touch
If you want something else
I’ll wait
You’ll lose your nerve
Do it now
I’ll close the blinds
And no one will ever know
I can’t hold
For the letting go
Pains
Digs
Buries
You gave no choice
Only indulged
I was fun to make
Why didn’t you name me?
I was wild and caged
Molded
I’ve forsaken
My my
Won’t you be shaken
When I come back
Do what you want
Be yourself
You can be anything
It’s a mystery how you couldn’t follow
I’m not what the family believes
A blood-red rose
Growing amongst a field of fierce tulips
I like my scent
I like my thorns
Stop
Can’t stop
For deceit is sin
And abandonment
Is weak
If and when
My return prevails
I desire pain
So I may sit in the chair
And you may run for your life
Like swift rhythmic pounding
And a breath of perfection
Caught on tape
Bleeding and living
Inhabiting and recalling
Carefully plucked and strummed
Reminding me of my humanity
Of theirs and their own
Knowing
Just knowing
Where to go next
What to say
How to say it
A life of love
A love of hate
Laughing and howling
A broken window’s pain
Nestled in Penny’s Lane
And snuggling in sweet Strawberry Fields
The sun may rise
But the word will not be spoken
Pepper and his babes will always shout
For more glass onions
And brown shoes
Impossibility is the lack of their voice in my life
The only real love I can’t touch
Lucy and Michelle will have to wait
For the weeping guitar’s promise, of
I won’t let you down
I won’t let you down
In the wake of the arrival
I smell hate
I feel unwanted
Like a disease thought cured
I won’t cry out
I’ve promised myself repression
It will be useful
When I need to scream in the night
I see a white room
Far in the distance
Escape is unheard of
As is healing
My nine month home was hell
It burned with prayers of death
When I’m taken away
I only feel a longing for pain
I will coexist
In my body, my tomb
But the only thing that scares
Is the knowledge that I will do this to another
There’s pounding
But if it stops I’m next
I know not to call out
Or argue with the
Defeater
Defeated
I’m
Defeated
The meanings and suggestions
Are brutal
They come in forms
Of fists and blunt rage
Close range
