I’m not sure
But I think I know
Of which is worse
And what makes me feel like you’ve left
Like women reaching up
For the masculine tool
The ultimate difference
And dying by its power
Like dying by the power
I like dying by the power
If you leave I’ll swear and cry
But not until you’ve left
Not until the women are dead
And the power is powerless
Smooth curves and short hair
Who cares when you’re gone?
You’ll never say it
You’ll never show it
You’ll make me guess
And I’ll guess wrong
I think you’ll leave
Unless I come on too strong
Red breast and dying
The advanced aging
Unseen cooking
I rock
And you cry
Because I’ll never be back again

Don’t you dare think you’re getting away
But did I have you from the start?
I’d like to think
That there you were not
Existing or breathing
And I was short and bloody
With the lack of the someone
By the fence a bird will preach
And the tree will gobble it up
Without warning I will grab
A fist
A first
If you pull away
I’ll never try again
The bird will fly away
And there will be nothing to talk about
Unless
Unless

Will it happen?
Will there be a time
When we can’t remember when it didn’t?
Will you demand?
Will you scream
With fear and pleasure?
I can’t think
There is too much sound
Too much around me
To think of the nothing

Where did I go?
If I’ve learned at all it’s been swept away
Like the sheets who’ve crept around my feet
A comforting hold is where I exist
Seen between the holes of a fan’s circular voyage

My mind jumps with fits of boredom
An emotional state which can not be easily subsided

Though I wish to slip
I am not permitted
For the feet and legs have their own opinions

I don’t like knowing
That staying away is desired
For that is the ultimate blasphemy

Again I sweep away want
Because greed is morbid

Again I leave my sanctuary
Because I know you’re waiting

One day
I couldn’t breathe or cry
And that was the day that it ended
Though I didn’t find out
     until months and months later

Once I could dance and not
Reason without finding a reason
And if you would have said
     “I need closure”
then I could have found it

We can’t
Don’t even say we can’t
If we couldn’t
Then we wouldn’t
So if the situation arose
You would have to be strong
You would have to say no

She
Her
With her broad shoulders
And flashy jobs
Where are the children?
And what’s for supper?
Now that you have a life

I’d like to think that
Sitting back
Without care or desire
You have enough thought
To take my work
     our work
And hold it between

That day I’ll never forget
Because it will be the pass back
     the joyride home
I’ll never forget the day
     once it happens
The day my mind stops thought
The day my eyes can cry
The day my legs are too tired to stay shut

We’re forever
Because he’s nervous
His unpredictability is shaking
Like anger cornered
He’s famous in my mind
My forever

Given that he’s pure
He’s dangerous and young
The gardens of our efforts
Are blooming and abundant
They’re neat and groomed
With perpendicular rows

I foresee a time
When the weeds are not controlled
The loyal plant they are
They come back
They overstay their welcome
And choke the healthy gardens

Too good to be true
Is and understatement
Perfection
Is an impossibility
I’ve hated love
Its loyalty is weed-like

He comes from endless
My forever
His approach was unasked
His descend from fame will devastate
For the gardens will become again dirt
With dead stems and root-rot

If not
Then my days would be pallid
But I would be happy
Oh God yes, I would be happy

If not
Then I would smile more
For the basis of cheer
Is the sorrow that you inflict

If not
Then I’d’ve not the desire to depart
For you would not wait
And I would not want

If not
Then nothing would plague my mind
And I could lust after
And around the hated

If not
Then I would be boring
Without thought of improvement
For I would learn no lessons

If not
Then I would exist timelessly
My complete persona would be lacking
And I’d have no way of knowing

If not
Then I would cry
As I do now
Yet without knowledge of why

Its persistence would haunt me
So with grace
If not
Simply is

It wasn’t until it was written
That I believed it

It’s been said
But it was only sounds

He looked in my eyes
And said with all the honesty of a child

I didn’t believe
But I didn’t want to be coy

I knew it
I heard it

I know now
Because he’s different

I know now
Because he never refuses any of whom I am

I know now
Because I love him back

How dare you say nothing
And let us become like everyone else

We’re not
We never will be
Help me
To help it

“Perhaps you’re just arrogant enough
To think that you’re complex”

How do you beat me when there’s no contest?
How do you wound me?

The back says you’re my forever
But the sides are uneasy
I hate you so much it’s love

Stop
Don’t think
Because then you’ll know
Then you’ll realize I’m dead

You’re everything
And nothing
Because you fulfill
Which precedes expectation

When it’s no longer fun
It’s over
I’m done
We’re through

I’d like to imagine a world
Where I’ve yet to encounter
I’d sit and exist
Convincing myself for others

Staring blankly
Wishing to place my path
Wanting it all over
Taking it all in stride

Cards, cards
Tell me my match
Is he fair and broad?
One of the hated?

I’m relieved that it’s done
If I had to do it again
I would change only little
But change it all

It’s best that I’ve learned
But I’ve no patience for the past
My lessons were few
And misconceived

You’re here but gone
As will you be to come
Why do I have patience now?
     Why look a gift horse in the mouth?

There’s always a time
Mid-summer
When I welcome a cool breeze
But the approach of winter
Discourages
Revolts me
From any breeze at all

I’m hollowed and whole
A face in the crowd
A deep burrowed mole
A poor beggar’s shroud

I’m light and dark
A step without stairs
A sunrise so stark
A sleep without prayers

I’m blank and alive
A perplexing foe
A bee-less hive
A mistake on show

I’m nothing you wish
A piece unappraised
A foodless dish
A threatening stone maze

I’m in need of your half
A painting undone
A cut-off laugh
A fool to shun

I’m with you forever
A promise unbroken
A fabulous endeavor
A future unspoken

You should have been done
I can’t understand
The stubborn of my person
The calm of your hand

I hope you never come to see
All that you could dream
Quickly you would forget of me
And my evident spoiled stream

I can not say I regret
Because I know not of its mean
I’ll have to trust you to forget
And let my desire keen

But still you stand by
Without a complaint or bray
You’ve no need to cheat or lie
I’m not worth for you to stay

The day you understand
Will be the day you leave
I’ll give nothing, remain bland
Hoping your part will never conceive

You don’t threaten to stay
So I can’t convince you to go

We want only what is best for the other
Because that is what lovers do

When we realize the other is best
We will understand too much

Let us be polite and do what has been done
Let us not get too attached

I will see you in time
For the rest of our life

Call me
     my lovely
when you wake for the day

Dream me
     my lovely
when your mind's still away

Hold me
     my lovely
when my arms speak embrace

Kiss me
     my lovely
when you look on my face

I want you to be simple
I want you to be strong
I want your face to dimple
I want you to prove me wrong

I like the way you smile
I like the way you sneer
I like your cleaver denial
I like your foolish cheer

I’m sure of our future
I’m sure of who we are
I’m sure we’re not a goocher
I’m sure we’re right on par

I don’t know what to think
I don’t know what to do
I’m scared of being the weaker link
So I’ll leave the love to you

Someday soon
You’ll learn the hold
Perfecting the times
For when we are old

Around the bend
I’ve come to expect
A touch of the hand
A burning respect

In a time to come
I’m expecting to see
Our running creations
And you kissing me

Our future will hold
What we will decide
No deadlines or rules
Will we have to abide

Tomorrow will wait
Our freedom we face
We’ve only to ask
To tease and to chase

Right is now
When we are we
A team of friends
A love of you and me

Kids kill the hours
The lonely house waits
While the bodies lay motionless
And the red robin mates

Spring and sun
Combine for the bright
Of dawn's spectrum arrival
As day fades from night

We're pros to the sport
Of day's grand debut
My only wish of change
Is to wake and find you

I want you to love me
          Because it beats sitting around here
I want us to have fun
          Because whopping you in crib is a blast
I want you to remember
          Because my mind is all to shit
I want us to grow old together
          Because I want your utter dependence

I don’t want us to be a joke
          Because your cackle is hideous
I don’t want your lack of faith
          Because I should be your god
I don’t want us to loose our qualities
          Because if you die I want to be whole again
I don’t want you to leave
          Because then who will take out the trash?

I wish for you to listen
          Because corruption is desired
I wish for your love
          Because it can be bent to suit me
I wish for you not to listen
          Because I’m trying to unease you
I wish for you to love only this half
          Because that is the poet and I am the fool

A heated body
A goose bumped skin
A rickety home
What mess am I in?

A running nose
A matted head
A neck’s numb pain
Where’s my real bed?

A day to fill
A piss-poor rhyme
A book to travel
What to do with my time?

A chance unopposed
A potential to strife
A companion nearby
All in all the time of my life

I promise to hold your hand
When you want to express our love
I promise to hug you tightly
And show we fit like a glove

I promise to brush your hair
And pick you out nice clothes
I promise to share in a movie
And laugh at your favourite shows

I promise to bring you ginger ale
When your stomach is upset
I promise to always pay up
When (or if) I lose a bet

I promise to share a bed with you
And in the morning it I’ll make
I promise to be playful and fun
And all your favourite foods I’ll bake

I promise to have your children
And get them ready for school
I promise to be a strict mom
And gracefully break every rule

I promise to iron your pants
And make supper every night
I promise to care and listen
And lose and occasional fight

I promise to make amends
When error comes my way
I promise to be truthful
And never take back what I say

I promise to paint you abstracts
And film each family event
I promise to go with you camping
And learn how to take down a tent

I promise to remember each kiss
And melt in every embrace
I promise to come to your call
And catch you in every chase

I promise to be your best friend
And I promise to be your wife
I promise to love all you are
Now and for the rest of our life

Life strings are pulled
My mouth is empty
They’re snatched away
     roughly
Leaving my lips burning
     cracked and coated in dry ice
The red cells stop flowing
They get trapped
Or hitch-hike too high
Which makes me heavy
And my legs swell
I know of my toes
But we’ve been out of touch
     separated long ago
Not gone
I wish not gone
My distance increases
Because first I go free
And then I go far
Solace is discovered
When a hand is casually laid
I breathed in the scent
And I find the proprietor
The keeper of my eternity
He resides on my skin
And for a moment I’m fooled
Because the paradise is folly
And I morn for the original more

I’ve arrived in full
I lean on the sill
So close I am now
So far from you still

Frozen in time
I wait for the sound
Of the squeaking of shoes
As your feet travel ground

An eternity passes
From the car to the door
When quietly sitting
My heart hits the floor

I wonder quite little
You approach me close
I yearn for the protection
Of my looming house

But protection is taken
When you stand in my way
And a smile refuses
From my face to stray

I hadn’t been sure
For no feeling had charted
But simply your presence
Hath left me openhearted

Feeling
With no words
Like the apple feels the tree
The water and the energy
For there is no language
And there is no way to say
I love it

Felt
But ignored
For the answers were wrong
True and wrong
And with the half away
Nothing is whole
Nothing is right
True and wrong

Feels
Reach out and reject it
Can’t be
Not whole
For the half is away
Away but not gone
Going to come back
Coming back
Never here
Never close enough