Title:  The Missing Scenes
Author:  Margie
Rating:  NC-17 (for the naughty sex parts)
Pairing: B/S 

Summary: This was my very first fanfic.  It started out with an idea I 
had for some missing scenes in Tabula Rasa (one of my fav eps) and 
just went from there.  It’s still a WIP (as of 8/18/03) but if anyone is 
interested I might consider completing it when I get the time.

Disclaimer:  I don't own anything.  Joss owns it all damn him!
Feedback:  Yes please!  margaritagomez1@msn.com 
Archive:  If you want it just email me to tell me where it's going.  It will 
eventually be on my own website when I get the chance to update 
(www.angelfire.com/indie/margarks/index.html) 

Author's Note: I definitely do not follow the show’s cannon exactly, 
though I do take certain phrases and scenes and use them to my 
liking :) Thanks!  Hope you like.

*************************************************************

Ch. 1

Randy looked up to see Joan and Dawn hugging.  A feeling of 
annoyance and longing came over him and he burst out “You never 
showed me affection like that!…I’d wager…”

Joan looked over with a puzzled expression.  There was something 
familiar about him.  Well, about everyone really.  But she did sense 
something different about him.  It reminded her of Dawn, but not 
exactly.

He couldn’t understand what had come over him.   I mean sure Joan 
was hot, but he couldn’t even remember his own bloody name let 
alone whether or not Joan had ever come near him. 

After bringing back the spikes Randy crouched back down into the 
circle.  There was that smell again.  It was almost like a drug.  He 
couldn’t figure out what it was, no one else seemed to notice it.  But 
he had a feeling that it had something to do with Joan.

Joan sensed a familiar tingly feeling as Randy returned with the 
spikes.  Ever since his earlier outburst images of him had been 
flashing through her mind.  He felt so familiar and so safe.  But there 
was no way that she would be dating someone who dressed like that!

Suddenly the vampires broke in and she was being held back by two 
ugly but strong guys.  They grabbed Randy and threw him against the 
wall.  She couldn’t understand what they were saying, but they didn’t 
seem happy when he tried to give them back their spikes.  They 
looked like they were about to hurt Randy and she felt herself getting 
angrier and angrier.  

Randy looked across the room and saw the vampires holding Joan.  
He was scared but mostly because he didn’t want her to get hurt.  He 
wasn’t sure but he thought that it was more than just his extinct to 
protect the ladies.  He gave up the spikes hoping that this would get 
the vampires to go away, but it just seemed to make them angrier.

Without thinking Joan lashed out and suddenly she was free.  She 
grabbed the first thing she could find and rushed toward Randy.  
Pulling the vampire off him she said “Stay! Away! from Randy!” and 
plunged the spike into his heart.  He disappeared in a cloud of dust 
and she felt a familiar almost erotic rush.

// Wow!  Joan is really something.  Maybe she’s my type of girl after 
all! //  The aroma he had been breathing in suddenly changed.  And 
he felt himself harden.  He wanted to reach out and grab Joan, but he 
couldn’t do it in front of everyone, especially his dad!

Joan could feel the blood pumping through her veins.  It hadn’t 
slowed down since she dusted the vamp.  After everyone began 
working out plans for escape she turned to Randy, still leaning up 
against the wall.  She could hear his heavy breathing and leaned in to 
ask him if he was okay.

Randy had his eyes closed.  She was so close and he could feel her 
coming closer.  // Don’t move! Don’t move you bloody wanker //  As 
she whispered to him he opened his eyes.   He couldn’t think so he 
just stood there staring at her, focusing on her lips.

Joan saw him staring and felt a blush creep up her cheeks.  Her 
mouth had gone dry and her tongue snaked out to wet her lips.  She 
heard Randy let out a deep breath, almost like a moan.  And she 
found herself leaning in closer until their lips were almost touching.

Randy couldn’t take anymore!  He grabbed her shoulders and pulled 
her in to crush his lips against hers.  At first she didn’t respond, and 
he thought he had made a mistake.  But slowly he felt her tiny mouth 
open and she sucked in his bottom lip.  He felt her begin to trace his 
lip with her tongue as she sucked, and he couldn’t help but let out a 
growl.

“Mmm..Rrrrrwww”.  Joan heard what she thought was a purr and she 
felt herself get even wetter.  // I can’t believe I am kissing Randy! //  
She felt herself respond by thrusting her hips towards his.  She 
gasped when she felt the bulge in his pants.

“Oh!”.  Randy heard Joan’s gasp and it only made him harder.  He 
wanted to throw her down and…

“Randy!  Get off of Joan this instance!”  Rupert was looking down at 
his son with anger and disappointment.

*************************************************************

Ch. 2

Joan spun around, her face hot and flushed.  “Oh my God!  I am so 
embarrassed”.   Burying her face in her hands she quickly turned to 
find herself in Randy’s embrace.

Randy looked up at his dad angrily.  “What the bloody hell do you 
want?!”  He held Joan against him feeling her tremble slightly from 
embarrassment.

“What do you think you are doing?  You are just taking advantage of 
the poor girl!”  Rupert could not believe that a son of his would do 
anything like that.

“Poor girl?!  Joan can take care of herself.  And I don’t think that I’m 
the one taking advantage of a poor girl!”  Randy looked pointedly at 
his father and then at Anya.  

“That is none of your business…son!”

“Well neither is this!”  Randy strengthened his grip on Joan 
protectively.  Joan buried her face deeper into his chest.  // Bloody 
wanker! //  He began stroking her back reassuringly and felt her relax 
a bit.

“Well if you can just restrain yourself long enough for us to get out of 
mortal danger, maybe I wouldn’t be so hard on you!”  Rupert walked 
back towards the group, leaving them once again standing alone.

Randy looked down at the girl in his arms.  “Shhh, luv.  Don’t worry, 
I’m sure dad and I have rows like that all the time.”  

Joan looked up at his words to find him staring down at her.  His hand 
never stopped stroking her back and she could feel her breath 
quicken.  “Do you think…maybe…maybe that…”

“We’re lovers?”  Joan saw Randy’s lips curve up in what seemed a 
familiar smirk.

“Well, I was going more for ‘dating’, or ‘a couple’, or something like 
that.  But yeah.”  Joan sighed and once again rested her head against 
his chest only to hear him chuckle softly.

“Sure seems like it, pet.  And if we aren’t I think we should be.”  

“I like it when you call me that.”  She didn’t look up, afraid of what he 
might say.

“What?  pet?”

“Yeah…and luv.  They give me a happy.”  

Randy felt a warmth spread throughout his body hearing those words.  
He bent and placed a soft kiss on the top of Joan’s head and said, 
“Okay luv.  Anything to give you a happy.”

Joan felt so safe and comfortable in his arms she didn’t want to move.  
But Mr. Giles was right.  They had to get out of there.  She had a 
sister to protect after all.  She looked up at Randy once more and 
suddenly got an idea.

She spun around and called out to everyone.  The idea was to divert 
the vamps attention to Randy and Joan so that everyone else could 
get away safely.  She looked over at Randy who seemed a bit 
unnerved by the idea.

“Are you ready Randy?”  She asked giving him a ‘you know I won’t let 
anything happen to you look’.

“Yeah, okay.”  // Sod it!  She should know I’d follow her anywhere //

They burst through the door and began running down the street.  
Randy felt a strong arm grip his and he spun around.  He felt a rush 
of adrenaline and punched the vamp clear across the street!  He 
turned to Joan and yelled out, “Hey!  I’m a super hero too!”

As he turned he saw Joan’s face change from concern to horror.  And 
he felt a familiar painful stab in his chest.  She screamed and ran.  He 
looked around to see what had frightened her.  The other vamps were 
coming, that must have been it.

“Joan?  Joan, wait up!”  He began to run.

*************************************************************

Ch. 3

// Oh my God!  Oh my God!  I’ve been kissing one of them! //  
Suddenly she felt a grip on her shoulder.  She turned to find Randy 
looking down at her.  Instinctively she punched him and swept her 
legs underneath his, knocking him to the ground.

“Joan!  What the bloody hell are you doing?!”

She could feel the blood pumping through her veins furiously.  As she 
stopped to catch her breath she realized that he really didn’t know.  
“You don’t know what you are, do you?”  She reached out to touch his 
face as he pulled back warily.

“No…none of us do, remember?”  

“You’re one of them.  You’re a vampire.”  

// What is she on about? //  Randy ran his tongue over his teeth 
feeling his fangs.  With a shock he reached up to touch his now 
bumpy forehead.

“Well what the bleedin’ hell am I doing fighting my own kind then?  
And what am I doing with you?”

The words stung Joan, though she wasn’t sure why.  She shook her 
head dazed, not knowing what to think.  As she backed away, she 
could hear Randy ranting about fighting for good and redemption, or 
something like that.  Right now she couldn’t really think she was still 
in shock.  // She had been kissing a vampire!!! //

Before they had time to explore this new found information further, 
they were attacked once again.  The vamps grabbed Randy, holding 
him back while two other vamps went after Joan.  He saw her get 
thrown to the ground and kicked in the stomach.

His anger exploded and he felt the need to inflict severe pain on 
these people.  He pulled away from his captors and quickly dusted 
the vamp on his left.  As the other vamp ran, Randy charged towards 
the two attacking Joan.  She was on the ground moaning and holding 
her stomach.

He was so angry that he didn’t stop to think or plan.  He just charged, 
tackled, and spiked everything in his path.  When he reached Joan, 
he pulled her close to him and held her head in his lap.  Her breath 
was shallow and she moaned as he smoothed her hair away from her 
face.

As her eyes fluttered open, she looked up and gasped.  There was 
another monster standing behind Randy!  

Randy saw her eyes widen and his head snapped up to meet their 
newest foe.  The creature that met his eyes looked like a half man 
half shark!  He’d never seen anything like it before (that he knew of).  
He quickly laid Joan on the grass and stood up into a fighting stance.  

The shark guy looked at him and shrugged his shoulders.  “Okay!  
Okay!  You win Spike!  Let’s just forget about it, shall we?”  And with 
that he walked away.

Randy didn’t understand any of what had just occurred but he was 
too worried about Joan to think any more about it.  He hurriedly knelt 
down to the now sitting up Joan to make sure she was okay.  

“You saved me.”

“Course I did.  Feels kind of familiar too.”  He said with a quirky smile.

“I guess maybe we do fight the forces of evil together?”  She looked 
up at him rubbing her hand across the back of her neck.

In a low husky tone he said, “Oh, I think we do more than that 
together luv.”

Joan could feel his sexy eyes on her.  She continued to rub the back 
of her neck, trying to make the pain go away.  Seeing this, Randy 
came up behind her and started to gently rub her shoulders and neck.  
“Did they hurt you luv?”  As he continued to knead the muscles in her 
neck he leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Let me make it all better for 
you pet.”

She could feel his cool breath // Did vampires have breath? // against 
her hot skin and she shivered.  As she began to relax she leaned 
further and further back until her back was flush against his chest.  
She felt him begin to nibble on her ear as she let out a soft sigh.

// Oh God!  I’m so hard and all she’s done is lean back against me! //  
He moved lower and began tracing her neck with soft kisses.

Suddenly Joan tensed.  // He’s licking my neck!  Mmm…it feels so 
good…NO!  Wait!  He’s a vampire.  He’s a vampire licking my neck!! 
//

Randy felt her tense and realized that he could smell fear mingled in 
with the already familiar aroma that wafted off of her.  “Relax luv.  I’d 
never hurt you.”  With those words he turned her around so that they 
were facing each other.

Joan looked into his eyes.  She felt like she could trust him.  She felt 
like she could get lost in his eyes.  She felt like she wanted to feel his 
lips on hers.

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.  As she did, she 
could smell smoke // Did Randy smoke? // and leather and a musky 
scent, which she assumed was the scent of him.  It made her feel hot 
and aroused.  She absentmindedly rubbed her legs together.

Randy noticed her movements and his need for her doubled.  He 
opened her mouth with his tongue and plunged in.  Tasting the 
depths of her and tracing the hollows of her mouth.  He felt, more 
than heard, her moan and it made him pull away long enough to pick 
her up and carry her to the closest shelter he could find.

At first Joan thought she had done something wrong.  But when he 
picked her up she realized that he was heading for the relative 
privacy of the park across the street.  When she looked back at him 
she noticed his adam’s apple bobbing up and down, as if he were 
taking long gulps of air.  She reached out to take a tentative taste and 
was rewarded with a long deep moan.  

“Mmmmm…much as I enjoy that luv you better stop before this night 
ends a little too soon for the both of us.”

For the second time tonight she buried her face in his chest in 
embarrassment.  She didn’t know what had come over her.  She 
didn’t think she was the kind of girl who normally did things like lick 
guys // her boyfriend’s? // neck like that.

They had finally reached the park and the relative privacy of some 
trees.  Putting her down he noticed that she was staring at the 
ground, ashamed to look up at him.
 
“Don’t ever be embarrassed to show affection for me Joan.  I love 
every touch you give me.”

She finally looked up to see his hungry eyes staring down at her.  She 
felt a tingly sensation between her legs and she bit down on her lower 
lip to conceal a groan.  Randy sat down beside her and began kissing 
her tenderly.  As she eased into his embrace she reach up to slip his 
jacket off his shoulders.  She explored his back and felt his strong 
muscles contract underneath his thin shirt.

Randy cupped her breast with his hand and felt her arch toward him.  
He rubbed his thumb across her already swollen nipple and felt her 
gasp.  In the midst of all this they had both somehow gotten their 
shirts off and Randy now broke away from their kiss to give attention 
to Joan’s heaving breast.

As his mouth latched on to her nipple, all thought left Joan’s head.  All 
she could do was feel.  When she felt him lick the taut peak she 
almost fainted from the pleasure.  “Oooh!  Randy…please…”

Hearing his name spill from her lips made him even harder.  His pants 
were so uncomfortably tight that he had stop to unzip them and pull 
himself free.  His cock was already dripping with precum and when 
Joan looked down to see it she felt herself blush from head to toe.

//  He was so big! //  She felt herself becoming wetter at the thought of 
him entering her.  Tentatively she reached out and wrapped her small 
hand around the tip.  He jerked towards her hand and she felt a thrill 
go through her at having affected him so.  Slowly she began to stroke 
him bringing her hand down from the tip to the base and back again. 

He groaned trying not to move.  He didn’t think he could hold out 
much longer if she kept this up.  His eyes were closed as he was 
trying to calm himself down.  Suddenly his world exploded when he 
felt the tip of her tongue trace a line down his twitching cock and give 
a long lick to his aching balls.

“Joan!!  Oh God…stop!”

She pulled away quickly, afraid that she had gone too far.  She turned 
away unable to look him in the eye.  She was close to tears when she 
felt his hand on her shoulder forcing her to turn in his direction.

“Joan…I’m sorry.  Don’t be upset.”  He pulled her close in an embrace 
stroking her back with his hand as he continued, “You didn’t do 
anything wrong.  I loved the feel of your mouth on me.  But before this 
night ends, I want to bring you pleasure luv.”

As he spoke he lowered her to the ground so she was lying on her 
back.  Her eyes were still closed but she had relaxed some at his 
speech.  He slowly began kissing his way down her neck to her 
breasts.  He could tell that she was enjoying his ministrations as she 
arched her back the closer he got to her swollen nipples.  He licked 
and sucked until she was moaning his name once again.  

Feeling that was his cue to move on he began to kiss his way down to 
her navel, where he reached the top of her pants.  He slowly 
unzipped and lowered them.  After ridding her of her panties he could 
smell her arousal so keenly that it made his cock jump.

Her eyes were still closed and the blush was still bright red against 
her cheeks.  It made his heart jump just looking at her.  She was 
innocent and sweet yet ferocious and sexy at the same time.  Slowly 
he lowered his mouth to her center.  He could feel her tense a bit and 
said, “Open up for me luv”.

She spread her legs slightly and he took his first taste of her.  She 
shuddered when she felt his tongue against her aching lips.  “Ohh.  
Aah.”  As his tongue dove deeper, her hips began to buck against 
him.  When she felt his touch against her aching clit she surged 
upward crying his name, “Randy!”

He thrilled at her arousal!  He wanted her to cum for him.  He began 
to lick at her clit rapidly while he reached up a hand to tweak one of 
her nipples.  “Oh God!!”  She writhed underneath him.  He could feel 
her muscles tensing as she came closer to the edge.  
“Randy…Oooh….Don’t stop….I think….I think  I’m cumming!”  With 
that she bucked against his mouth her muscles shuddering as she 
orgasmed.

//  I made her cum! //  

Randy slowly climbed back up to give her a tender kiss.  She could 
taste herself on his lips and it made her feel sexy and hot.  
“Randy…please…I want you in me.”  

He didn’t need a second invitation.  He lowered himself so that he 
was right at her entrance.  She was still wet from her orgasm but he 
tested her with a finger to make sure she was okay.  Slowly he 
pushed the tip of his cock past her outer lips.  And felt the extreme 
pleasure of her heat engulfing him.  

Joan couldn’t take anymore!  She grasped his hips and thrust upward 
taking his full length into her.  He groaned but tried not to move.  
Giving her time to adjust to his size.  “Cor you’re so hot pet.”  He took 
her mouth in another searing kiss as he began to thrust in and out of 
her slowly.  

She pulled away to gasp out “Harder Randy.  Faster!”  He obeyed 
and began thrusting deeper and faster.  Soon they were both panting.  
Their bodies wrapped around each other holding on with all their 
strength.  As they got closer and closer to cumming they moved faster 
and faster.

Suddenly they both felt dizzy, but that did nothing to stop their rhythm.  
As they climaxed together they cried out.  “Spike!”  “Buffy!”

*************************************************************

Ch. 4

Buffy opened her eyes to see the night sky.  Her first realization was 
that she was outside.  As she blinked the sleepiness away her 
second realization was that she was not alone.  There was an arm  // 
a very pale looking arm  // wrapped around her waist. And someone 
spooning her body from behind.

// Oh God!  What have I done! //

She heard a moan come from behind and the arm tightened its grip 
on her.  She tensed hoping that he had not awoken.  She did not 
want to deal with this just yet!  As she paused listening for any signs 
of consciousness from Spike she recalled exactly what she had done 
just a few hours ago.

In fact she remembered every kiss and every gentle word that had 
come from Spike that night.  And she definitely remembered the 
feeling of him shuddering above her as he came.  And the way his 
eyes never left hers the entire time.  

// But wait!  It doesn’t matter.  It wasn’t me!  It was Joan!  I didn’t even 
know who I was... //  “But you can’t deny calling out his name as you 
climaxed, or falling asleep in his arms afterwards”, a little voice said 
inside her head.  She shook her head trying to get rid of the betraying 
thoughts.

Spike feigned sleep trying to stretch out these moments as long as 
possible.  He knew what she would say.  What she was already telling 
herself.  That it had all been just another spell.  His mind thought back 
to last night and replayed every moment in his head.  He could feel 
himself hardening as he recalled every whimper and plea that had left 
Buffy’s lips that night.  He moaned and pulled her in closer.  Realizing 
what he had done, he forced himself to stop, hoping that she wouldn’t 
get up and leave just yet.  

Since he hadn’t moved for several minutes, Buffy figured that Spike 
really was asleep.  She shifted slightly trying to see if she could get 
out from under his arm without waking him.  As she did so she felt his 
hard member rub against her backside.  She let out a soft gasp and 
stilled her motion.

// He’s hard! //  “God Spike!  Don’t you think about sex enough while 
you’re awake that you don’t have to dream about it too?” Buffy sighed 
softly.

Spike heard her soft exclamation and smelled her eager arousal, and 
it gave him an idea.  He loosened his grip on her and rolled to the 
side.  He tossed his head back and forth moaning softly.

Buffy was free!  His arm had released her but as she stood to go she 
looked down at the tossing figure as he slept.  Faintly she heard him 
call out “Yea luv!  Just like that…”.  She felt her nipples harden.  She 
could see his cock twitching as he slept, wondering who he was 
dreaming about.

Spike could feel her eyes on him and it only helped to fuel the fantasy 
already running in his mind.  Suddenly his hips were thrusting upward 
as he felt her small hand encircle his already painfully hard member.

// He was asleep right? //  Buffy couldn’t stand it any longer.  She 
knelt on the grass next to him and reached out.  He leapt into her 
hand and it made her even wetter thinking about how much control 
she had over ‘little’ Spike.
// God!  Did she know what she was doing to him?  //  Spike tried to 
keep from calling out her name.  Not wanting her to run away.  He 
was so close to the edge knowing that the real Buffy was doing this to 
him and not some fantasy or bot.

Buffy continued to pump her hand slowly.  She was getting 
increasingly wet and began to use her other hand to tweak one of her 
nipples.  She whimpered softly, needing more.

Spike used all his willpower to keep himself from throwing her down 
and thrusting into her.  When he heard her whimpering he almost 
came right then.  The only thing that stopped him was knowing that 
this would probably be the last time they would be together.  

He knew she would fall back on the spell as an excuse.  Spike was 
tired of being the one who was constantly being told that he a 
mistake.  And in that instance he made a decision, knowing how to 
play the rest of this out without losing anymore of his dignity //Yeah, 
even vampires have dignity luv. //.

Buffy knew he was close.  She was coming close to the edge herself.  
She leaned forward to take him into her mouth as her other hand 
moved lower and began playing with her clit.  Slowly she took the tip 
in and sucked on the head like a lollipop.  She could feel his whole 
body thrashing around and suddenly his two hands were in her hair 
and she could hear him moaning.  She looked up briefly to see that 
his eyes were still closed and he was still sleeping.  

Spike felt Buffy’s mouth surround the head of his cock.  Her tongue 
slipped out to give the tip just a lick and he moaned out loud.  He 
grabbed the back of her head praying that she would never stop.

By now she was pumping three of her own fingers in out of herself.  
She began bobbing her head up and down his shaft using her teeth to 
cause a slight friction as she went.  His hips began thrusting faster 
and faster as she stroked his cock with her mouth.

Spike let out a growl and gave one final thrust as he came.  Buffy was 
already spasming around her fingers when Spike finally released his 
cold seed into her mouth.  Her head snapped up as she heard him 
cry out a name.

“Grrrr.  Oh God….Dru!!”

*************************************************************

Ch. 5

// What the HELL?? //

He was dreaming about HER this entire time!  Buffy reeled back and 
planted a punch square on Spike’s jaw.  His head snapped back and 
his eyes flew open.

“Slayer!  Bloody hell!  What was that for?”  He looked around to see 
her fumbling to pick up all her clothes.  

“What was that for??  What was that for??  You just called out for 
your precious Dru while you were with me!!!!”  She turned to see him 
smirking.

“Why luv, I didn’t know you cared…” His right brow shot up in a 
gesture of inquiry.  It had taken everything he had not to call out for 
Buffy when he came, but he was beginning to think it was worth it…

“I don’t…I’m just disgusted that another stupid spell had me falling 
into your arms again!”  

There it was.  The Excuse.  

Spike took an unneeded yet necessary deep breath as he stood up, 
only to be knocked flat with a kick to the stomach and an uppercut 
from Buffy.  She was standing above him fuming and it made his 
unbeating heart thump.  // Maybe she did care…a little? //.

“Jealous pet?”

“I must have hit you harder than I thought.”

Buffy stared down at Spike’s smirking face.  She wanted to smack 
that smile off every time she thought of what had just happened.  She 
couldn’t believe that he had been thinking about Dru the entire time!  
When all she could do was think about how turned on she was with 
him so close and so naked…// Damn!  Stop it! //

She turned away as her face began to flush, but not before Spike 
noticed.  He reached out and began running his hand up and down 
her thigh as he felt her shiver.  “Come on Slayer,” he whispered softly 
as he continued massaging her leg.  “I heard you call my name when 
you came last night…you know it wasn’t all a spell.”  He stood as he 
spoke, and now dipped his head down to lick the base of her neck.

// Mmmmm…feels good...must stop… //

Spike felt delicious vibrations tickle his lips as Buffy moaned softy.  
Suddenly he was sprawled on the floor again.  Buffy straddling his 
hips, breathing heavily above him.  “Why??”

“Huh?”  Spike was confused.  It was hard enough thinking when Buffy 
was sitting on top of him, but that really didn’t make sense!

“Why is it always you?”  // Damn he looked so good!  All mussed and 
confused.  // She could smell the scent of their recent escapades 
together and she drank it in deeply.

“I dunno luv.  Maybe you should be asking yourself that.”  

She leaned in to trace his lips with her tongue.  She heard him moan 
and began to rub herself along the length of his member.  He 
responded instantly, reaching out to pull her top off once again.  He 
cupped her breasts in his hands as they deepened the kiss.

// Gods!  She was sexy. // He wanted her so bad he was glad he 
wasn’t human.  He didn’t think he would’ve been able to take it.

Buffy slowly slid down stopping to take Spike’s nipple in her mouth.  
She sucked slightly and then bit down.  Spike cried out and arched 
upward.  Buffy continued to suck and lick Spike’s sensitive nipple as 
she reached down with her right hand and grasped ‘little’ Spike.   She 
tickled the base with her fingertips and then cupped his sac as she 
once again drove her tongue into his eager mouth.

She pulled away and moved to the sensitive skin just underneath his 
ear.  She licked and kissed the area before coming up to bite down 
on his earlobe.  

Spike didn’t think he could take anymore.  He was so painfully hard 
he thought that if he moved even an inch he would cum right there.  

Buffy continued to lightly suck on Spike’s earlobe.  She heard him 
panting as she did so and knew that he was right where she wanted 
him.  She flicked her tongue out running it along the rim of his ear, 
feeling him shudder beneath her.

“Buffy please!  Mmmmm…Rrrwww.  I can’t take much more, I’m going 
to cum.”  Spike didn’t want to cum outside of her.  He needed the 
friction that her warm tight walls provided.

Buffy’s smile was triumphant as she leaned down to whisper huskily, 
“Well…maybe if you asked real nicely…”

“What?  Yes, anything!”  Spike opened his eyes to see her smirking 
down at him.

“I’d call Dru for you.”  And with that she stood up to retrieve her shirt.  
Spike’s jaw dropped open and he groaned, just as they heard Giles 
and Xander calling…

*************************************************************

Ch. 6

“Bloody HELL!!”  Spike’s roar of frustration could be heard from miles 
away.

***

Once he was back in his crypt Spike smashed and shattered 
everything he could get his hands on.  After the whelp had told Buffy 
that Dawn was home safe she had left without a backward glance.  
His hard-on still raging Spike headed towards his crypt to relieve the 
‘tension’.

“Soddin’ Slayer!  Who does she think she is?!”  Smash.  Crack.  
Shatter.

“Thinks she can play me?”  Spike sank down into his ratty lounger 
and closed his eyes.  “Thinks she can get me all hot and then leave 
me to wank my own bloody self off!”

Spike was drained but he couldn’t quite get himself to lay down and 
rest.  Daylight was still a few hours off, so he headed for the Bronze 
to see if a couple of swigs of the rot they sold would clear his head.

The Bronze was packed.  The music was loud serving only to annoy 
him further.  The moment he walked in the door he knew she was 
there.  He didn’t even have to see her before his body started walking 
in her direction.

// Great!  Now’s my chance to tell her what a bitch she is. //  Spike 
stalked angrily toward her, brushing everyone aside.

He saw her sitting at the bar staring down at her drink.  The slump of 
her shoulders, the vacancy in her eyes.  His resolve to inflict what 
little pain the chip allowed him slowly crumbling.

He stood by her side feeling the waves of her emotions crashing 
down on him.  She sat stock still, but he knew that inside was pure 
chaos.  He could feel it in every tense muscle and every blink of her 
eye.

He wanted nothing more than to reach out and comfort her.  

His arm moved to lay a hand upon her shoulder.  Just then she 
turned her head towards him and his arm shot back to his side.  The 
second she saw him she turned away leaving him feeling shattered.

Tears of frustration and hurt leapt to his eyes, but he held them back.  
// The Big Bad does not cry. //  

He turned away feeling the anger and resentment return.  As he 
reached the door he shot one more backward glance at her.

***
Buffy was feeling sorry for herself…again.  She was getting more than 
tired of this routine.  Giles was leaving.  Nobody cared.  Nobody 
understood how hard things were for her.  How could they?

Once she had made sure that Dawn was okay, she headed out for 
some serious slayage.  Instead she found herself sitting in the Bronze 
nursing a coke.  She felt numb inside.  While she tried to figure out 
how to cope with this new series of trials life had thrown at her, her 
mind kept returning to just a few hours earlier.

// Why Spike of all people?  I mean he isn’t even people! //

She sighed and returned to her coke.  Stirring the liquid 
absentmindedly her mind went blank as she tried to lose herself in 
her own self-pity.

// What was she going to do now?  Giles was on a plane.  There was 
no one left to turn to. //

The second he walked in the door she was aware of him.  She didn’t 
have to look up to feel him making his way toward her.  She let out a 
deep sigh not knowing whether it was from frustration or relief.  

She felt him standing by her.  Taking in all of the comfort and calm 
that his presence tended to ignite within her.  She turned towards him 
not knowing what she would say.  The moment she laid eyes on him 
tears sprang to her eyes.  She saw the worry, anxiety, and love that 
he felt and the emotional walls she had built up since her return came 
smashing down.

She turned away quickly.  // breathe…breathe….breathe //  She didn’t 
want to cry anymore.  Her emotions were leaving her drained.  Maybe 
just this once she could lean on someone’s // his // shoulder and let 
herself just feel for awhile.

She turned back to find him gone.  Another deep sigh left her // too 
late // and she crumpled.  She laid her head down and began to sob 
quietly.  She really did have no one to turn to.  No one who even 
wanted to understand.  She didn’t know if she could ever stop the 
flood of tears escaping her now.

Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder.  She looked up searching 
for his comforting eyes with her own.

*************************************************************

Ch. 7

Buffy turned and found herself staring into the eyes of a stranger.  
She stared up at him confused.  Wondering why his eyes weren’t 
blue.  Finally she realized that this wasn’t Spike, that Spike had left.  
She shook her head and turned back toward the bar.

Spike’s anger flared as he saw someone else reaching to comfort HIS 
slayer.  He shot back across the room, reaching them just as Buffy 
turned away.  His arm shot out “Stay! Away! from Buffy! You stupid 
git!!”  He managed to yell before falling to the floor in pain.

“Spike!  What the hell are you doing?”

“Moaning in pain, what the ‘ell does it look like?!”

Buffy climbed down from her bar stool and knelt by Spike.  She could 
see the pain etched across his face as she helped him to stand.  
“Come on, let’s go before you cause any more trouble.”

Buffy slipped underneath one of his arms and steadied him.  She 
found herself wrapped snuggly within his leather duster.  The scent of 
leather, smoke and Spike was strong.  As they walked toward the exit 
she could feel the play of his muscles underneath his thin shirt.  She 
found herself replaying the events of the night and she began to feel 
a trickle of moisture between her legs.

Spike’s nostrils flared.  He could smell her desire and it overrode the 
pain in his head.  Before he knew what was happening the slayer had 
him pushed into a corner of the Bronze.  

She held him flush against a wall while she crushed her lips to his.  
Somewhere in the back of Spike’s brain he wanted to fight back.  
Wanted to let her know that he wasn’t just some toy she could play 
with whenever she had an itch.

Finally, Spike regained enough sense to pull away.  She tried to 
reach for him again and he shoved her back.

Buffy cried out as her back hit the pillar.  He was on her in seconds.  
Holding her back, immobilizing her.

“I can’t keep doing this.”  Spike spit out between clenched teeth, 
biting back his own desire.

She looked up at him, her eyes filled with pain.  “Please,” she 
whispered pleading for the comfort only he could provide her.

His un-beating heart wrenched at her soft plea.  He leaned down to 
give her a tender kiss.

Within seconds the kiss turned hungry and wanting.  Buffy’s arms 
snaked up and wrapped around his neck, pulling him in closer, 
crushing him to her.  She let out a deep moan, causing Spike’s hips 
to thrust towards hers.

She felt the hard bulge in his pants and rubbed herself against it.  Her 
own center aching with need, wanting fulfillment.  She was already 
out of her mind with want of him.  

Spike at least was sane enough to realize that they were in way too 
public and well lit a place to go any further.  He tried to keep himself 
in check, but the extremely horny Buffy rubbing up against him was 
making it difficult.

// Bloody Hell!  I need to get her out of here! //

He tried to pull away.  Tried to grab her hand and lead her outside, 
but she resisted.  She managed to land them both on the couch in the 
corner.  She was on top of him still pressing her body flush against 
his, and chasing his tongue with her own.  

// Well at least it’s darker over here. // Spike’s last thoughts were 
fleeting as Buffy reached down and cupped his crotch with her warm 
hand.

His hips shot upward and he groaned aloud.  The music surged 
around them.  Spike realized that Buffy’s hand was doing more than 
just rubbing against his jean clad cock.  His zipper was slowly coming 
undone and when Buffy reached in and took hold of him he nearly 
came.

She freed him and released his lips long enough to pull herself 
upward and come down hard on his rigid shaft.  As he slid into her 
they both let out breaths they didn’t know they were holding.

Buffy sighed as she felt him fill her.  She rotated her hips and ground 
down into his lap.  Loving the feeling of friction it created against her.  
She began to slowly ride him.  Eyes closed, his face a mask of 
pleasure, Spike called her name on what little breath he had.  On 
hearing his hushed call Buffy increased her pace.  

Spike felt the pressure building.  He reached down and under her 
skirt his mind briefly contemplating the thought that she wasn’t 
wearing any underwear, and began fingering her.

“Spike!”  Buffy cried out when she felt his touch.  

He looked around to see if anyone had heard her calling his name.  
Worried about discovery, but at the same time elated that her desire 
for him was so strong.  He continued to lightly thumb her clit.  He 
could feel her walls begin to spasm around him.  With a growl he 
released his own pleasure, spilling himself within her and burying his 
face in her neck.  Taking pains not to taste her unwittingly.

She cried out once more, “Yes!  Oh Spike!” before slumping against 
him.  He could feel her efforts to breathe, and chuckled softly to 
himself.  Knowing that only he could do that to her.

After a few moments she pulled away looking up into his face.  He 
was afraid now.  Not knowing her reaction, whether she would run 
again, or let herself finally feel.  He stilled waiting for her to speak.

“Don’t think I’m going to forget.”

*************************************************************

Ch. 8

Spike’s brow furrowed in confusion.  “Forget what, luv?”

“That you don’t really love me.”

Spike sighed.  Here they were in the middle of a crowded club with 
him still sheathed inside of her and she was still doubting him.

“And what makes you say that?”

“Maybe the fact that you still dream about Dru!”  She stood letting 
herself feel the cold emptiness from the loss of him.

// Bollocks!  I knew that was a bad idea // Spike tried to reach for her 
as she pulled away from him.  “Buffy, wait…You know that’s not true.”

“I know what I heard!”  Buffy spat as she headed toward the exit.

Spike zipped himself up while running after her.  She had already 
reached the door and disappeared outside by the time he was able to 
straighten himself out.

Not seeing her outside he began to head for her house.  He caught 
up to her just as they reached her street.  Grasping her arm he spun 
her around to face him.

“Slayer!  I wasn’t dreaming about Dru.  I just didn’t want to hear your 
excuses.”  Spike turned away, unwilling to look her in the eye.

Buffy studied his profile.  Trying to make herself stop caring who he 
dreamt about.  She felt a deep weariness take her over.

“Forget it Spike.”  She sighed, turning away. She continued down the 
street toward home.

“Buffy stop!”  Spike reached for her again.  “We have to talk about 
this.”

Her escape blocked, Buffy lashed out.  “Don’t touch me!”  Her fist shot 
out and Spike found himself laying on the ground a few feet away.  

His anger aroused, he jumped to his feet and swung at her without 
thinking.  Buffy’s head snapped back and he waited for the familiar 
pain to hit.  

// What the ‘ell? //

Before Buffy could return the punch, Spike fell to the ground howling 
in pain.

“Serves you right.”  Buffy walked away leaving Spike moaning on the 
ground.

When she was out of sight Spike stood.  He was grinning as he 
vamped out.  

“The Big Bad is back.”  

*************************************************************

Ch. 9

Buffy lay on her bed staring up at the ceiling.  Why did she even 
care?  In fact, why wasn’t she disgusted with herself?  She slept with 
Spike!  Not just slept with him, but practically attacked him at the 
Bronze!  She couldn’t even blame it on a spell.  What was wrong with 
her?

A tear rolled down her cheek and she closed her eyes.  Trying to 
empty her mind and get back the numb feeling that had been 
enveloping her ever since she was pulled back.  She was exhausted, 
but couldn’t relax enough to sleep.  

Why was Spike the only one who could make her feel anything?  It 
just wasn’t right.  He was a monster.  He was evil.  He was Spike!

// Argh! He doesn’t love me!  He can’t! //

She thought back over the past 48 hours.  She groaned into her 
pillow.  She remembered Spike’s speech after he realized he was a 
vampire.  

Redemption.

Was it even possible?  // What am I thinking?  He doesn’t even have 
a soul. // But he did help them fight, even when we didn’t even know 
who we were.  Wouldn’t he have gone back to being evil, if he didn’t 
remember he had a chip?  At least after he realized he was one of 
them?

// What’s wrong with me? Spike is evil.  Spike is bad.  Period. //

There was a knock on the door, and before she could answer Dawn 
entered.  She took a seat next to Buffy and sighed.

“What’s up Umad?  Why aren’t you in bed?”  

“Ha ha.  Where have you been?  I was waiting up for you.”  Dawn 
crossed her legs to sit indian style next to her sister.  

“You know.  Out saving the world.”  Sarcasm evident in her voice.

Dawn didn’t know what to say.  Didn’t know how to make Buffy’s pain 
go away.  Ever since they found out they had pulled her out of 
heaven, Dawn wasn’t sure how to act around her.  

“Uhm.  Buffy.  Do you want to talk about it?  I know I’m just your 
stupid fake kid sister, but if you wanted…”

“Dawn!  That’s not true.  You’re as real as anyone.  Realer.”  She laid 
her hand on top of Dawn’s in reassurance.

“Now go to bed!”  Buffy shooed Dawn out the door.  “Thanks for the 
offer, but I don’t need to talk.  I just need to sleep.”

Dawn heard a click as the door shut.  Buffy had locked her door 
again.  She chided herself for making Buffy comfort her rather than 
the other way around.  She just couldn’t seem to get it right.  She 
headed off to bed with those last thoughts.

***

Spike was out walking the streets of Sunnydale.  He was looking for 
his first tasty morsel in what felt like forever.  He spied a young 
woman turning into an alley and he followed.

The girl screamed when she saw Spike’s game face.  He could smell 
her fear and it excited him.  

“That’s right.  You should be scared.  I’m the Big Bad!”  He reached 
for her and she froze.  Pushing her hair aside he gained a clear view 
of her neck.  As he leaned in to scrape her skin with his teeth he 
whispered, “Don’t worry luv.  This won’t take long.  It’s been awhile 
since I’ve had a decent meal.”  

He licked the salty sweat from her neck before going in for the kill.  As 
his teeth broke skin she screamed.  And so did he.  

Spike fell to the floor in agony.  // Bloody Hell?! //

By the time the headache subsided, the girl was gone.  “Just as well.  
I’m obviously still neutered!”  

As he walked back to his crypt, Spike replayed the argument in his 
head.  What was different?  Why hadn’t the chip gone off?  

Suddenly realization hit.  Buffy was different.  Buffy came back 
different.

// I can hurt her.  Just like she hurt me. // Without meaning to his steps 
turned toward Revello Drive.  He continued to explore the possibilities 
as he came closer to her house.

He found himself in front of the Summer’s home.  All the lights were 
out.  He began to climb up the tree to her window.  He scrambled 
onto the roof and pulled himself up so that he could peek in.

Buffy lay on top of her blankets with her eyes closed.  Her breathing 
steady she looked as if she were asleep.

Spike lifted the window intent on entering quietly.  But as he poked 
his head in through the opening, Buffy’s eyes flew open and her head 
snapped to the side.  Their eyes met.

“What are you doing here?!”

*************************************************************

Ch. 10

“Pet, what are you doing sleeping on top of your covers?”  Spike’s 
realization momentarily forgotten.

“None of your business.”  Buffy sat up and wrapped the sheets 
around herself, shivering from a combination of the cool breeze and 
Spike’s proximity.  “And I asked you what the hell you’re doing here.”

// Damn it!  Why does she have to be such a bitch? //

“We need to talk.”

“I told you there’s nothing to talk about!  Now get out!”  Buffy was up 
and ready to throw him out the window.  She let the sheets fall loosely 
to the floor.

// Cor she’s beautiful // Spike studied her as she stood at the ready.  
The moonlight was hitting her just so and making her skin glow.  Her 
long hair swayed gently in the breeze coming in through the window 
he’d left open.  Her thin shirt revealing her taut nipples.  

Buffy faltered under Spike’s scrutiny.  In a soft voice she said, 
“There’s nothing to talk about Spike…because it doesn’t matter.  It 
doesn’t matter who you were dreaming about then or ever because 
we are never doing that again.  Do you hear me?  I am never going to 
touch you again.”  She sat back down on her bed, drawing the sheets 
about her shoulders once again.  Looking down she asked quietly, 
“Can you leave now, please?”

“Fine.  But before I go I want to tell you something.”  He moved to the 
bed and sat next to her.  Waiting for her to push him away, he gripped 
her shoulders firmly and turned her to face him.

Buffy found herself staring into Spike’s endlessly blue eyes.

“Buffy.  Last night was incredible.  I’m not talking about just the 
shagging.  I’m talking about just being with you.  And having you want 
to be with me.  I know that you think that you can never love me.  And 
that I don’t really love you.  But I do.  If I didn’t would I care how you 
felt?  If I just wanted to bed you for the sake of having you then would 
I have bothered to pleasure you at all?”  His hands started rubbing 
her arms up and down.  She felt chilled and amazingly his cold hands 
were warming her.

She was losing her resolve again.  // I can’t do this!  Spike = bad! //

Slowly her eyes closed and she leaned toward him.  She felt his soft 
lips touch hers and she moaned.  Her mouth opened to suck in his 
bottom lip.  As they kissed Spike continued to warm her with his 
touch.  He left her arms and began roaming the planes of her back.  
His caresses on her back and the feel of his lips on hers made Buffy 
lose control.  Her hands came forward to explore his chest.  She lifted 
his t-shirt, her fingers traveling lightly over his cool skin.

When she reached one of his nipples she stopped to leisurely rub her 
thumb against it.  Spike let out a deep growl.  Hearing his response 
she felt a tingling in her center.  She continued to massage his nipple 
until it was hard and he was breathing heavily.  She moved on to his 
other nipple as she drove her tongue deeper into his mouth.

By now Spike’s jeans were so constricting it was painful.  He pulled 
away from her to adjust himself and she let out a needy whimper. He 
felt himself harden even more and moaned in pain and pleasure.  
Before returning to her he removed his jeans and his shirt.  Her eyes 
were on him the whole time.  And she flushed with pleasure as he 
stood before her naked.

“Now pet.  It’s your turn.”  He reached for her and pulled her cotton 
top over her head.  She obliged by lifting her arms for him and 
standing to rid herself of her pajama bottoms.  When they lay down 
together their only barrier was Buffy’s white cotton panties.  For some 
reason that made Spike even hotter.  Seeing all of her except for 
those short golden curls.

He wanted to go slow.  To show her that he didn’t want just another 
quick shag.  He wanted to make love to her.  He started by kissing 
her lips tenderly.  Moving lower he massaged her neck with his 
tongue.  Trailing light kisses all around the base.  While he did this he 
slowly moved his right hand down to her thigh and began massaging 
her leg.  Buffy opened for him, thrusting her hips towards his hand.

“Unh, unh luv.  Patience.”  He continued to slowly massage circles 
into her thigh, as he moved down to flick her nipple with his tongue.  

The chill of his tongue against her hot body was driving Buffy crazy.  
Her nipples were already hard and puckered.  Pain shot through her 
as he sucked on her breast.  His mouth felt icy cold and the pain she 
felt caused her panties to darken.  He pulled at her nipple with his 
teeth and she arched up toward him.  “Spike!”

“Shhh…luv.  Dawn.”  He moved on to her other breast.  

Buffy was finding it very difficult to care whether Dawn overheard or 
not.  She wanted Spike to take her already and she’d never been 
patience girl.  Her hand shot down and wrapped around his already 
slick cock.  “Grrr.”  Spike froze.  He was afraid that he was going to 
shoot himself all over the sheets.  He loved the feel of her small hand 
caressing him.  Pumping his shaft up and down.

“Buffy stop!  Aah…”  Spike’s brow furrowed in concentration.  // Think 
of something else.  Mud!  Think of Mud! //

“You want me to stop?”  Buffy’s voice dripped with honey, but she 
continued pumping.  “Are you sure this doesn’t feel good?”

“Gods!  Yes it bloody well feels good!  But if you want any satisfaction 
tonight you better stop before you make me cum.  Aaah!”  Spike 
moaned as he watched Buffy remove her hand from his dripping 
cock, and slowly lick each of her fingers.  

“Mmmm.  I love the way you taste.”  She had a hedonistic look about 
her as she licked the last of his precum off her fingers.

“Luv, you’re killing me.  Why don’t you just stake me?”  Spike’s 
breathing was heavy and labored as he tried to gain control of 
himself.

“Because then I won’t get staked tonight.”  She had her pouty look on 
knowing it was one of Spike’s weaknesses.

Spike knew what she wanted but wanted to hold out just a little 
longer.  “Don’t worry luv.  You will.”  He lowered himself until he was 
staring at the dark spot forming on her panties.  “But not yet.”

He flicked his tongue out to caress her clit through the cotton.  She 
moaned and arched her hips completely off the bed.  Spike had to 
hold her down to keep her from bucking him onto the floor.  He 
continued to tongue her through the rough material.

Buffy’s head was thrashing on the pillow.  The feel of his wet tongue 
through her cotton panties was almost unbearable.  Her whole body 
was tensing up.  Suddenly she was free of the cotton.  And Spike’s 
tongue was plunging into her core while he pinched her clit between 
his thumb and forefinger.

Her orgasm crashed through her.  Her hips bucked and her muscles 
spasmed.  Spike lapped up her juices as they trickled down.

Spike came back up for a kiss, while Buffy calmed down.  Her cheeks 
were flushed and her brow was shiny with sweat.  She smelled 
amazing.  The natural smell of her mixed in with her arousal and the 
musky scent of her sweat was like a drug to Spike.  He felt dazed and 
lightheaded.

Buffy was murmuring his name as he positioned himself at her 
entrance.  Slowly he swirled the head of his shaft around her swollen 
lips.  He dipped two of his fingers into her canal.  When he brought 
his fingers out he spread her juices along his cock.  Making sure that 
there would be no pain at his entry.

Buffy watched him do this with wide eyes.  Finding it completely erotic 
and exciting.  As she felt him push into her she closed her eyes and 
took a deep breath.  With his first thrust she released her breath and 
cried out his name once again, “Spike!”  

Spike moved his hand to cover her mouth.  Not wanting Dawn to 
wake up and interrupt them.  After two thrusts into her he felt her 
walls spasm around him.  // I made her cum again! //

Spike was feeling quite proud of himself.  But soon his own need 
overcame all other thoughts for him.  He still wanted to let Buffy know 
that he was in control and that they were making love, not just having 
sex.  He slowed his pace and began to slowly rock within her.  With 
each thrust he pulled out almost completely before slowly descending 
once again.  

Buffy’s arms surrounded him.  Her hands moved down to cup his 
buttocks.  She tried to quicken the pace, tried to grind her hips into 
his, but he was in control.  She whimpered and finally gave in.  Letting 
him control the pace of their lovemaking.

Spike had let go of her mouth as she wrapped her arms around him 
once again.  She bit down into his shoulder to keep from screaming.  
For a moment Spike felt dizzy.  Realizing that Buffy had bit down hard 
enough to draw blood he remembered that his failed attempt at 
feeding tonight meant that he was still hungry.  He also remembered 
his earlier realization.

“Mmmm.rrrww.  Buffy.  Luv.  I’m cumming!”  Spike’s pace had 
increased for the last few thrusts.  As he began shooting his seed into 
her, he vamped out.

*************************************************************

Ch. 11

Buffy felt the hairs on the back of her neck tingling before she felt the 
scrape of Spike’s fangs.  Unconsciously she tilted her head and bared 
her neck to him.  As she felt him sink into her warm flesh she felt a 
momentary panic yelling out “Spike no!” and trying to push him off of 
her.

But the moment he punctured his way through her skin her struggles 
ceased.  She felt a rush as her blood flowed through her and into his 
awaiting mouth, the coolness of his breath tickling her neck.  She felt 
herself shuddering at the sensation.

Soon her hips were grinding into his.  And she was moaning.  

Spike was drunk.  His arousal coupled with the Slayer’s blood was a 
dizzying narcotic.  Distantly he heard her shouting, but he was 
already too far gone to understand what she was trying to say.  As he 
licked at the wound on her neck, he felt her moan and shudder 
beneath him.  Her muscles clamped and squeezed at his already 
softening member.

Exhausted he collapsed on top of her.  He could feel her hot breath 
on his shoulder and the rise and fall of her chest beneath him.  
Content and sated his eyes began to droop and his muscles relaxed.  

As his back hit the wall his eyes snapped open and he cried out, “Oi!  
What’s this about then?”

Buffy was up and pinning him to the wall with one arm.  With the other 
she wiped at the already healing wound on her neck.  “How could 
you?” she whispered.  

She was still in shock at what had happened.  Not only had she let 
Spike make love // NO!  It was just sex // to her but she actually 
allowed him to bite her too!  

Spike watched her face as it went from anger to shock to 
wonderment.  He reached out and stroked the arm that held him 
feeling her relax just a bit.  “Luv.  I meant to tell you.  I just – “

“Shut up Spike!”  She slapped him across the face and whirled away.  
Throwing his clothes at him as she spat out, “Just go!”

“But I just want – “

“I don’t care what you want!  Go!  Before I throw you out myself.”  
Buffy sat on her bed looking away from him trying to figure out what 
had happened.

Spike was angry now.  Pulling on his clothes he climbed out onto the 
roof.  “Bitch!” he called out as he jumped down to the ground.

Buffy sat on her bed crying.  She didn’t know why she let Spike do 
those things to her.  She didn’t understand what made her want him.  
What made her need him.  He was the only thing that made her feel 
human.  And she understood that least of all.  How could a demon 
make her feel human?  And she let him bite her!  How could he bite 
her?  Did that mean she wanted it?  She curled up into a ball and 
cried herself to sleep.  Waking up in the morning tired and sore.

She spent the day feeling tense and miserable.  Still not having any 
answers to the questions that had plagued her all night.  Trying to 
loosen up she spent an extra three hours working out at the Magic 
Box.  Running her a total of 5 training hours for the day.  Tired, but 
slightly more relaxed, she headed towards home taking a shortcut to 
make a stop at the grocery store on the way.  

“ ’ello Slayer.”

“Spike.  I’m not in the mood right now.”  She kept walking.

“Aww…Got a headache luv?  No nookie tonight?”  He smirked at her 
as she turned toward him.

“No nookie ever Spike!  I don’t know why I didn’t stake you last night 
after that bite.  I don’t even know how you could – “

“I do.”  Spike’s simple statement was followed by a hard punch to 
Buffy’s jaw.  Her head flew back and her heart rate doubled as she 
realized he wasn’t on the ground in pain.

“How?”  Was all she could get out before he went for another punch.  
She blocked and spun to the left trying to sweep his feet from 
underneath him.

“You.” *punch* “You’re not right.” *punch* “Not human.”  *punch*

Spike’s speech was interrupted by a kick to the gut landing him on the 
ground.  Buffy lunged at him.  He blocked her with a kick and sent her 
flying backward through a door.  Following her he found her lying on 
the ground panting.  Feeling his victory near he smiled a cocky grin.  

Buffy’s mind was reeling.  What had he said?  She wasn’t right?  She 
wasn’t human?  She was dazed, but when she felt him grab her by 
the arm instinct kicked in.  Blocking out the rest she fought him.  

They were evenly matched.  She had always known that he was a 
tough opponent.  After all she had never been able to beat him 
before.  Though she would never admit that to him.  When she 
punched he kicked, when she kicked he lunged.  He had a counter for 
every move.

Soon they were in a rhythm.  Dancing to their own inner music they 
moved about the house destroying what little was left inside.  Buffy’s 
heart was racing and her adrenaline was pumping.   She hadn’t had a 
partner // an enemy!!! // like this in a long time.  Someone who 
actually challenged her.  Someone who made her feel alive.

Suddenly they weren’t fighting anymore.  She was pinned to the wall 
moaning and rubbing up against him.  She could feel him through the 
denim barrier and wanted more.  Her hand reached out to unhook his 
jeans and pull the zipper down as he continued to massage her 
tongue in his mouth.  They moaned together when she was finally 
able to free him and he entered her.

It was over quickly.  Their arousal having been peaked and ready with 
the first punch.  As Buffy’s orgasm shot through her she thrust 
forward causing Spike to lose his balance.  They fell through the thin 
wooden floor and landed on the rubble below.  

Spike grunted as Buffy landed on top of him driving his cock deeper 
into her wetness.  He was hard again and began thrusting upward.  
She was still trying to catch her breath from the fall taking in air in 
great gasps.

Spike moaned as he watched her.  She had way too many clothes on 
so he decided to rip them off.  Her shirt was the first to go.  He wanted 
to be able to see her breasts as she continued to struggle for air.  Her 
nipples were hard and he couldn’t resist taking one in his mouth and 
sucking.  Buffy’s gasps turned into moans as she began to ride him.

She reached beneath his shirt to feel the muscles of his chest but 
became impatient.  She ripped it in two so that she could see his 
marble white skin as she moved her hands across him.  She felt 
another orgasm coming on, digging her nails into his flesh she drew 
blood.  A strange desire and curiosity swept through her.  She bent 
forward and licked at the wound she had made just above his left 
breast.  

“Buffy God!”  At the sight of her tasting him Spike came.  It felt like 
hours before he came down from his climax.  And when he did he 
found her lying atop him fast asleep.

Exhausted, Spike had enough energy left to reach out and pull his 
duster on top of them.  Rubbing Buffy’s back he followed her into 
unconsciousness.

*************************************************************

Ch. 12

Spike woke with some confusion.  For a second he thought he felt 
himself breathing but realized it was the steady rhythm of Buffy’s 
breath that he felt.  Rising and falling above him as she slept within 
his arms.  Part of him couldn’t believe what had happened last night.  
He felt incredibly alive.  

For the first time since he was chipped he was able to fight back.  Not 
just with a stupid bleedin’ demon but with Buffy!  With a human // the 
slayer! //.  The fight itself was incredibly erotic for him.  He felt almost 
like his old self.  The Big Bad was back!  

And then in the midst of the fight she had thrown him.  She had him 
pinned to a wall and he closed his eyes to prepare himself for the 
blow.  But it had never come.  Instead he felt her lips crush to his and 
her hand reach down to cup his crotch.  And that was the beginning 
of another night with Buffy.

He felt her stir in his arms and he reached down to plant a chaste kiss 
on the top of her head.  “Mornin’ luv” he murmured softly.

Buffy’s eyes popped open at the feel of his lips on her.  She was still 
a little dazed as she took in their surroundings.  Slowly the events of 
last night began to replay themselves in her head.  Unconsciously 
she snuggled closer to him and murmured a quiet “Mmmm”.  Spike 
was tracing lazy circles on her back and she felt his laziness take her 
over.  Actually it felt more like a slow and steady cover of 
contentment.  And she realized that this was the first time since, well, 
since she was forced back, that she had felt anything besides a kind 
of numbness.  

She remembered the shock she had felt with the first blow.  The chip!  
What had happened to the chip?  And then his explanation, she had 
somehow come back wrong?  There was the numbness again.  She 
buried it when she realized that she was in danger of losing her life, 
again.  Her slayer instincts took over and they were fighting.  She 
remembered all the fights they had had before.  The incredible rush it 
would give her every time they were trading punches.  

He was good, in a strictly bad sort of sense.  She had never been 
able to beat him before.  And it gave her a kind of dangerous thrill that 
it seemed that he was back to his old self.  She felt her heart rate 
climbing and the heat rushing through her body at the thought.  Again 
she let her instincts take over.  She was on him and pressing her lips 
to his.  At first contact she felt her whole body humming.  She 
moaned trying to release some of the energy that was building within 
her.  He made her feel so…so alive.

And now it was morning.  She looked around the building suddenly 
realizing that there was rubble scattered everywhere.  // Rubble?  //  
“Spike?  When did the building fall down?”

She felt him chuckle beneath her before answering.  “Dunno luv.  I 
think we were both a bit too busy last night to notice.”  He said before 
dropping down to nibble on her ear.

“Mmmmm.  Spike.  Stop.”  Morning.  She had to remember it was 
morning.  // Dawn! // Dawn must be worried sick about her.

“Stop what?”  He whispered as he moved down to the nape of her 
neck.  He loved the taste of her there.  The way it made her shiver.  
He knew a piece of her was always wondering what he wanted when 
he kissed and licked so close to her jugular.

“Spike..mmm…I have to get home.  Dawn.”

“Come on luv.  She probably thinks you’re just out taking care of a bit 
‘o trouble.  The witch will watch after her.”  His hands had stopped 
their lazy dance on her back and were moving down to cup her 
bottom.  He ground their hips together causing her to groan above 
him.

God!  How did he do that to her.  She couldn’t think straight with him 
making her all groany Buffy.  “No Spike!  Dawn’ll be worried…” Her 
hands had begun roaming over his chest.  Feeling the muscles there 
and kneading them with her knuckles.

Ungh.  If he had to breathe she would of knocked it all out of him with 
what her hands were doing.  “Pet.  Stay.  For just a little while.  You 
know I’m stuck now.  The sun’s up.”

He had rolled her over now and she lay beneath him.  Suddenly she 
felt his cold touch on her center and she cried out.  “Okay!  Okay.  
Just for a little while.”  She was writhing beneath him now.  Thrusting 
toward his cool hand.

He continued his slow torture.  Watching the way she moved, loving 
the sight of her groaning // for him! //.  He bent down to kiss the 
underside of her breast and felt her hands move to entangle 
themselves in his hair.  She directed him toward her peak and he 
complied.

As he took her into his cool mouth he heard her cry out his name.  
“Spike!”  And felt her walls shudder around the fingers he had 
pressed within her.  He continued to suckle at her breast.  Her hands 
left his hair and took hold of his arm, bringing his hand up to her 
awaiting mouth she took each finger in slowly.  Tasting her own juices 
mixed in with the unique salty taste of Spike’s skin.  

Spike stopped what he was doing to watch her.  The sight was so 
erotic.  He couldn’t think beyond the feel of her soft tongue and hot 
mouth surrounding his cold digits.  Unconsciously his other hand slid 
down and enclosed his hard cock.  He began pumping and thrusting 
at the sight before him.  

He realized that he was coming close to the edge.  He pulled away 
from her and she mewled in displeasure.  But when she felt him 
positioning himself above her she opened her eyes to watch him sink 
into her.  The contrast between her heat and his coolness was an 
incredible feeling for both of them.

As they began to rock together Buffy could feel a second orgasm 
building.  Spike was pumping faster now and she encouraged him by 
groaning out “Yes…Spike…Oooh…Please!”  She felt him begin to 
spasm within her.  His seed shooting out to coat the walls 
surrounding him.

He continued to thrust into her until he felt her orgasm explode as 
well.  She shuddered beneath him and thrust upward.  Holding him to 
her until her breathing slowed and she could think again.  He kissed 
her tenderly as he pulled out of her. 

He lay within her arms watching her breathe in slowly.  Her eyes were 
closed and he nuzzled her neck with his lips murmuring the first 
thoughts that came to him.  “I knew that the only thing better than 
killing a slayer would be f-“ 

She had thrown him off her with a violence that was born of anger.  
“Is that what this is all about?  Just wanted to see what it was like to 
have a slayer?  God!  How could I be so stupid?!”

She was searching the rubble for her clothes finding all but one boot.  
As she lifted each rock in her search she tossed it behind her hoping 
to hit him as a bonus.  

“Buffy!  No wait!  I didn’t mean – “ Spike reached out to her.  Trying to 
stop her from leaving.

“Stay!  Away!  From me!”  She shoved him forcefully back before 
heading out into the bright sunlight.

*************************************************************

Ch. 13

 “Bollocks!”

Spike was sitting in the crumbled house waiting for dusk.  He’d had all 
day to think about what had happened last night and what had 
followed this morning.  Why couldn’t he keep his bloody mouth shut!?

He was just trying to tell her how bleedin’ good she made him feel.  
He was a VAMPIRE for Christ’s sake!  So he didn’t use poncey 
words!  He wasn’t a bloody pouf!  He already told her he loved her! 
He snarled and kicked at some rubble as he paced within the 
wrecked house.

***

Buffy awoke from her nap feeling sore and tired.  The night came 
crashing back to her as her sleepiness fled.  She felt antsy and 
hyped.  She needed to slay.  To release some tension.  She pulled on 
some jeans before slipping down the stairs and outside.  

She walked through the park on the way to the cemetery.  
Automatically looking in every shadow for any nasty surprises.  While 
her body was on auto-pilot her mind wandered. 

So this whole time he had just wanted to do a slayer.  It wasn’t about 
her.  About the way he felt.  He just wanted to see what it would be 
like to sleep with one of them.  If Faith were still around he probably 
would have gone after her first.  Buffy’s brow creased and her lips 
formed a thin line.  Why should she care anyway?  He was just 
convenient.

***

Spike had finally made it back to his crypt.  He had debated whether 
or not to go after the Slayer.  But he was getting sick and tired of 
chasing her all over Sunnyhell.  Besides he wasn’t a bleedin’ puppy 
dog. 
Anyway, she’d gotten a taste of him now.  He saw how he’d affected 
her.  She couldn’t deny it.  She’d be back sooner or later.

Spike turned on the telly and sat back.  Sipping on a beer he settled 
in for the night.  

***

She found herself standing outside his crypt.  She hadn’t intended to 
come here.  She hadn’t intended to do anything more than her regular 
sweep.  But now she was standing here.  In front of HIS door.  She 
could hear the television going, and knew that he must still be up.  Or 
at least asleep on his ratty lounger.

She pictured him there.  Resting peacefully.  The only time he didn’t 
look annoyed or otherwise indisposed was during sleep.  Of course 
that was also the only time he looked truly dead, or undead, as the 
case may be.  // Damn! //

Why was it always him?  Why did she feel anything when he was 
around?  Why couldn’t she feel anything when he wasn’t?  What was 
wrong with her?  Spike.  He had said something about her coming 
back wrong.  About her not being human.  He could hit her now.  
Without pain.  Without consequences.  What did that mean?  Maybe 
he was right.

She turned when she heard the crypt door creak open.

***

“Slayer.”  Spike smirked.  “Knew you’d be back for more.”

“Get over yourself Spike.”  She pushed past him into the crypt and 
took a seat.  “I’m here to talk.”

“’Bout what, pet?”  Spike returned to his seat in front of the tv.

“Can you turn that off please?  I told you we need to talk.”  

“And I said, ‘bout what?”  He turned to face her, annoyance showing 
in the stiff lines of his forehead.  

“Ugh!  Fine.  I’ll do it myself!”  She reached over and turned the knob 
on the television, earning her a scowl from Spike.

“I wanna know what you meant by my coming back wrong?  How do 
you know the chip isn’t just broken?”  

He let out a deep sigh.  He could see the anxiety written across her 
face, and hated that he would have to tell her what he had tried to do.  
He hated himself even more for caring whether she found out or not.  
He ran his fingers through his hair putting off his confession.

“Well?”  Buffy was looking more impatient than anxious now.  

“Well luv.  After I found out I could hit you, I decided to go out for a 
few happy meals on legs.”  He looked up trying to gauge her reaction.  

“And you couldn’t?”  Her eyes looked almost pleading.  As if she 
wished he had.

“No luv.”  He whispered softly, moving toward her. “I’ve apparently still 
got the leash.”  He was next to her now.  He reached out to place his 
hand atop her own clasped ones.

She was staring down at her lap now.  Trying to figure out what it all 
meant.  Spike’s chip worked.  Spike could hit her.  Spike couldn’t hit 
humans.  She wasn’t human?  Tears started to fall then.  For lack of a 
better plan she began to cry.

When her shoulders began to shake and she slumped against him, 
Spike began gently rubbing circles on her back.  He whispered 
assurances to her as he felt her crumple against his chest.

“Shhh, luv.  S’Okay.  Everything’ll be fine.  Shhh.”  She was weeping 
now and couldn’t seem to catch her breath.  Her body began to 
shiver, and he reached out to the blanket on his vacated seat.  
Wrapping it snuggly around her he lifted her up and carried her down 
to the lower level of his crypt.

Buffy wanted to protest when he picked her up, but didn’t seem to 
have the strength.  She felt so drained.  She was emotionally spent, 
and didn’t have the energy to do more than keep breathing for the 
moment.  When he placed her on the bed, she was surprised to find 
that he didn’t join her.  

Spike smoothed back the hair from Buffy’s face and gave her a peck 
on the forehead.  He caressed her cheek and said, “Rest now luv.  
Don’t worry about a thing.  We’ll figure it out.”  And then he stepped 
away from her.  

She was surprised by his tenderness.  She had expected him to use 
her moment of weakness to his own advantage.  But it seemed that 
he was actually trying to make her feel better, without taking anything 
for himself.  Her mind began to drift as the weariness took her over, 
and she closed her eyes.  She was asleep within moments.

Spike had stood on the other side of the room.  Watching as she 
drifted out of consciousness.  He went about the room lighting 
candles, as she slept on.  When he was through he head back toward 
the bed.  He could still see the worry lines etched on Buffy’s face and 
it made him grimace.  He was the cause of that.  He had wanted to 
hurt her.  

Had wanted her to feel as bad as he did whenever she refused to 
believe the truth behind his feelings for her.  He had wanted to hurt 
her physically.  But as he watched her now, he knew that he had hurt 
her much deeper than he had planned. 

He lay beside her in the bed.  Ran his hand along her cheek, trying to 
smooth out some of the worry.  Eventually he found himself spooning 
her body.  His arms wrapped around her in comfort.  She seemed to 
sense him there, and turned to rest her head upon his shoulder.  He 
moved his arm so that he could pillow her head without discomfort, 
the warmth of her body pressed against his own.  

Buffy woke to find herself enfolded within Spike’s arms, and him 
asleep above her.  She watched his face.  The peaceful countenance 
that he wore at odds with his waking personality.   

She was tired.  She didn’t want to think about the consequences of 
their conversation last night.  And so she did the only thing she could.  
She nestled deeper into his embrace and fell back asleep.

*************************************************************