Perfect Vision
Topic: Life in Particular
Today was much anticipated. I have known for some time that my eyesight has steadily worsened. Streets signs are smudged and chalkboards out of focus. Last week a doctor examined my eyes and gave me my first prescription. This morning I went in to get contacts fitted. I have heard from various people that seeing the world through your first pair of glasses can be an amazing thing. My expectations rose high . . . and they were not disappointed. As I walked out of the store the world “popped”. I spent the rest of the afternoon simply enjoying the view. It was a new pleasure just to see.
It did not take long for a sadness to emerge in my thinking. First, I thought my experience will not always be such. The corrected vision will soon be the expectation and my “normal” vision will be the hindrance. Second, I was not convinced that I saw the world truly anymore. Yes, this was an amazing born-again experience in which the amazing presence of creation rightfully reclaimed my adoring gaze. But like the aging of my eyesight so to the accumulation of experience and relationships tend to blur the lines of reality. I now had the “tool” or the “method” to correct these ambiguities. However, this is not my experience of truth. The clinical application of “truth” has not addressed challenges of my life. X + Y has not always equalled peace, joy, or whatever the pursuit may have been. Formulaic approaches to reality foster arrogance and autonomy. It is wonderful that the world “pops” like it does right now; clear lines, perfect distinction. But this is no more the truth of the world around me than bleeding of lines and lives as brokenness and holiness converge.

“Now we see but a poor reflection . . .”

“There is a crack inside of everything, that’s how the light gets in . . .”

sorry, i fixed it now, but one of my asides read "repentance, of this sort, does liberate" I am missing a crucisl "not" there.

Overcome or Overcoming
Topic: Life in Particular
I am not sure if this will be significant for anyone else. I have grown increasingly appreciative of Kierkegaard’s thoughts on the human condition. The following is an excerpt from The Concept of Anxiety in which SK addresses sin and the tendency for humanity to stay only one step behind it, leaving sin with the power and initiative. I have added commentary where it may be helpful. SK’s writing can appear awkward but allow the vivid imagery of perpetual sin witnessed among us emerge.

In repentance sin is posited as actuality (that is repentance is what gives full force and reality to what has preceded it; i.e. the sin.) but repentance does not become the individual’s freedom (repentance, of this sort, does not liberate). Repentance is reduced to a possibility in relation to sin (I think he is saying that sin becomes the substance that give repentance its existence. Repentance is dependent on sin having no influence of its own); in other words, repentance cannot cancel sin, it can only sorrow over it. Sin advances in its consequences (one keeps on sinning); repentance follows it step by step, but always a moment too late (it can never overtake sin). It forces itself to look at the dreadful, but like the mad King Lear “O thou ruined masterpiece of nature” it has lost the reins of government, and it has retained only the power to grieve. At this point, anxiety is at its highest (Anxiety is the condition of “possibility”. That is anxiety is an awareness of what might happen, even though this possibility does not actually exist yet; this is literally being anxious over nothing). Repentance has lost its mind, and anxiety is potentiated (given more power) into repentance. The consequence of sin moves on; it drags the individual along like a woman whom the executioner drags by the hair while she screams in despair. Anxiety is ahead (one is already anxious of the sin before the fact); it discovers the consequence before it comes, as one feels in one’s bones that a storm is approaching (as the act of the sin approaches). The consequence comes closer; the individual trembles like a horse that grasps as it comes to a halt at the place where once it had been frightened. Sin conquers. Anxiety throws itself despairingly into the arms of repentance. Repentance ventures all. It conceives of the consequence of sin as suffering the penalty and of perdition as the consequence of sin (to deal with sin is only to suffer the cost). It is lost. . . . repentance has gone crazy.

To move ahead of sin one requires a “leap” this is posited only in faith. I will read on . . .

Did this make sense to anyone else? I think SK realizes the tendency of Christian repentance to be reactive and under the power of the sin that it follows.

Its Your Move
Soren Kierkegaard exerts a substantial amount of energy clarifying the difference between quantitative movement and qualitative movement. An example of quantitative movement is someone running laps around a track. The number of laps run increases but the movement remains the same. The person is literally running in circles. This movement is essentially no movement at all, it is imminent, closed. Conversely qualitative movement always requires a “leap”. If memory serves, we learned in high school chemistry about the various electron rings of particular elements. For there to movement in these rings external energy is required. Kierkegaard is concerned that we do not mistake the two. If the mistake goes unnoticed the appearance of movement continues but the possibility of change is denied. Now Kierkegaard is shrewd enough not to prescribe how humans may encounter this “leap”. If we may invoke the leap, then it is no longer external (transcendent) resulting in quantitative movement. On the other hand, if I have no influence in the possibility of movement the individual will dissolves and with it my identity. So Kierkegaard teases at the elusive possibility (and reality) of movement.

January 23, 2006; 8:30 pm
I have withdrawn from my doctoral program (and subsequently just voted NDP). I can read my motivations from any number of perspectives. I made this choice for this or that reason. Any number of my readings could expose the quantitative nature of logical or psychological explanation. Am I simply entering lap 2 (or 20 or 2000) or have I emerged on a new plane (a new element, substance, life)? Would I recognize a “leap” if I took it?
God be damned or God be praised.
Blessed be the name of the LORD.

All inclusive
Topic: Art and Aesthetics
Here is the next installment of my exhaustive account of beauty.
A re-emerging theme in my posts is the idea of pluralism in the West. This is no small issue. The idea that there can exist a neutral framework for the existence of all beliefs continues to erode. Authors, religious or otherwise, continue to herald this understanding. I had the opportunity, for once, to explore this condition outside my safe little books.
Down the street from our apartment is an art studio which Chantal and I visit on occasion, as there is often a friendly man at work therein. I am not entirely sure what to make of this man. He is tall, of healthy girth and circumference; In his sixties though you might guess a matured but powerful fifty. He greets us warmly and tells us stories. The stories are many and grand. Now, at one point it struck me. For those of the old Providence days, it reminded of a guy who also had stories, many and grand. Perhaps too many and too grand. Now this takes me too far off track. I say this only to introduce one particular story.
This man, son of a former mayor, tells me of all the festivals he has started in Hamilton, at which time he told of the Earthsong Festival (and Google has verified its existence). In this festival all sorts of cultures and religious groups converged to display food, dance, craft, and song. He speaks passionately of the unity which the event brought between particular adversarial groups. Palestinian danced with Jew, Orthodox ate with Catholic.
Two things struck me in his account. First, the event was bracketed from society. You passed through a gate and were introduced into a particular space not subject to the rules of daily life. Second, this space was maintained by this man's particular vision which he was able to maintain through the inclusion and exclusion of particular elements or people.

The value of such a festival is the artistic beauty which it offers. The question I have is the difference between beauty/art as ornamentation and beauty/art as foundation. How might Earthsong differ from the songs that emerged in South Africa which sustained the people during apartheid?

I return to the initial issue. Have we allowed religion or even God to become ornamentation? Do the created spaces of festivals inspire and enact a vision in daily life? Perhaps we cannot escape 'created space'. People are constantly creating space all around us. If so who are the organizers of the festival (carnival?) of the West? What are the aesthetics of this festival? There are people with a vision who work at including and excluding in our society. Religion we are told has no part in the matter. Is the church then another booth for amazement and comfort?

Pop Culture Prophecy
Since 9/11 I have always been bothered by Busta Rhymes' 1998 album cover for Extinction Level. I finally did a little snooping around and found an interesting web-site. Check it out.

http://septterror.tripod.com/coincidence.html

Church and State
I have really tried to become more 'political' over the past few years. By this I assumed that I needed to know how to align myself along partisan lines. This process reminds me of my general ambivalence towards church denominations. In both church and government I have not been able to tow any party line. Not that I haven't tried. Am I product of a self-centered society? Is there a need for serious reflection on how to change institutional identification? Brian McLaren seems to be heading up some 'emerging' church movement. I seem to have a unfounded prejudice against that. Maybe someone can convince me to check it out. In terms of government they certainly need our prayers, I just don't put my faith in what I feel the church is called to offered.
This ambivalence is becoming more acute for me as I would eventually like to move towards ordination in addition to the upcoming election. I don't think I am holding out for a perfect church or a perfect political party I just haven't been able to use institutional identification as a means of embracing a denomination or party.
We all need to live and work from somewhere . I don't think I should marginalize myself as some sort of wanderer or exile. How do we nurture belonging and that great idealistic catchword, community?
My only response at this point is an appreciation for Anglican and Catholic churches which focus on the Eucharist. This is a tangible act of community which, at the best of times, helps us to position ourselves appropriately in the giving and receiving of worship.
This being said I am meeting with a conference pastor for the General Conference Mennonite Church to talk a possible place for me pastorally.
Any thoughts on politics or ecclesiology would be welcomed.

Public Sex, Private Religion
Topic: General Theology
It is not an uncommon observation to say that our society has emphasized the privatization of religion. Religion can serve the needs of the individual, but should be monitored as to its social or political influence. It is perhaps even more common to observe the sexualized nature of popular culture. Sex is utilized as a tool for attention based primarily on consumerist goals. Sex then is not only a tool but a type of energy that fuses our desires with a particular product, or object of consumption. To make love to the product.

These observations deserve reflection and response in their own right. However, can the two be related in any significant way? Can these two movements may be seen as a type of inversion? Was the driving of religion into the bedroom the forcing of sex into the public square? Sex and religion of course have a long history. My surface knowledge of Hinduism and ancient Greek religion certainly do not deny this relationship. In the Jewish-Christian tradition the Song of Songs is saturated with mixed images of holy communion and sexual consummation. This leads me to ask whether there is analogy between dynamics of personal sexual intimacy and social sexual intimacy. I am sure this also is not a unique question (if anyone knows of any literature let me know). If this is the case it should transform knee jerk religious responses of repression? Has this repression contributed to our excessive sexual\consumeristic context? Is there something to a fully public expression of religion (and I am thinking particularly of Christianity) which can development a context for the fulfillment our personal and social desires? How does this affect our notions of church and community?


To add a further comment. The obverse of the above depiction of urban ‘secular’ society may be the conservative religious rural community which thrusts religion into every nook of the public sphere and attempts to drive sexuality into its most private expression. The standing joke of my Mennonite community is whether a woman has shamefully shown ‘a little ankle’. As stories of incest and abuse emerge, this attempted privatization of sex can have disastrous consequences.

Those who know better
Topic: Art and Aesthetics
I came across what I thought to be signficant comments art and aesthetics.

“We may say that the independent aesthetic value of an artistic artefact is higher and more enduring to the extent that the work does not lend itself to literal interpretation from the standpoint of a generally accepted system of values of some period and some milieu.”
- Jan Mukarovsky

Art is as good as it is both engaging and elusive.

On music,
“After playing Chopin, I feel as if I had been weeping over sins that I had not committed, and mourning over tragedies there were not my own. Music always seems to me to produce that effect. It creates for one a past of which one has been ignorant, and fills one with a sense of sorrows that have been hidden from one’s tears. I can fancy a man who has led a perfectly commonplace life, hearing by chance some curious piece of music, and suddenly discovering that his soul, without his being conscious of it, had passed through terrible experiences, and known fearful joys, or wild romantic loves, or great renunciations.”
- Oscar Wilde

But before I find someone to wax too eloquently on music I also offer the following,

“Where we try to speak of music, to speak music, language has us, resentfully, by the throat”
- George Steiner

Anonymity
Just so you know anonymity in comments is fine by me. However, as I sign of respect I personally would appreciate some form of consistency so that people can know 'who' they are responding to (it appears that more than one nameless figure has emerged). Whatever that looks like for you is fine. This looks like the fodder for a good future post. Virtual identity.