TRITON RULES AND JOE PIE REFUSE TO DANCE WITH EACH OTHER
By: Joe Pie
Hey hey, Joe Pie here, and he's got a batch of complaints about the one, the
only, Triton High School. (Crowd boos). No, sorry, this will not be the
umpteenth article of "Waah, the bathrooms are always locked when I need them"
type article. Well, lets not beat around the bush here, let’s just get started.
By the time you read this article, the snow will have all but melted, but that
doesn't mean I can't complain about the "No snowballs rule" now. Today, being
the 23rd of January, an announcement was made about the "throwing of snowballs."
OH NO, NOT FUN!!
Is it really necessary to prohibit such a thing? Bringing up the fact that kids
were tossing snowballs before the great great great great (and I could go on)
grandfather even came up with the idea of a "Triton High School." And now,
balling up sky precipitate and jokingly throwing it at a peer is right up there
with fist fighting and speeding on the school parking lot. I can hear the
"trying to prevent on campus injuries" speech right now. And that’s all well and
good, but using that logic, I could tell a frightfully amusing joke, the same
moment someone is enjoying a nice cold glass of boxed juice, thus causing them
to spit juice out of their nose, and maybe fall over from laughing and hitting
their head. I guess we have to stop telling jokes, guys. Sorry. OK well, that’s
only one down. Too many to go.
I'm sure you've all seen or heard of the notorious "Prisoner of Triton High
School" T-shirts, made famous at that little stand in Echelon Mall. I read in
the paper yesterday (Courier Post) that that T-shirt was banned from this
school. That must be one of the STUPIDEST things I have ever heard. Triton
Faculty...meet joke. Joke, meet the faculty. Can this institution be that void
of humor as to ban such a thing?
I was apprehended a few times last year for wearing a T-shirt sporting a member
of the Three Stooges, holding a glass of ale. I was told to remove it because it
“promoted” alcoholic beverages. If I wanted to "promote alcoholic beverages" I
would wear a shirt that says "BUY BEER, IT SURE IS GOOD." I was wearing the
shirt, simply because I am a Curly Fanatic. But no, 'tis not allowed.
That’s it for me. It sure was fun complaining. Of course, it will have no
effect, but still, I better have some fun before they ban that, too.
