+-don't blush when i rip you open-+
January 6, 2001
Someone please explain something to me. Why does every young, outcast person feel the need to mutilate themselves, then shove it in people's faces when they want attention? Cutting yourself open is nothing to be proud of, yet everyone around me is playing off of it. Cutting is not a cool thing to do. It's like, I see people walking around with scars all over there arms and legs acting really angsty, or acting really arrogant. I've ever seen models scarred up. What used to be an underground subculture is becoming more 90's-millenium America mainstream trend. I hate all these little goth-wannabes cutting themselves up just to do it, to prove how bad they are. Cutting yourself doesn't prove anything, except what a jackass you are. I know people who go on IRC, on the Internet, just to complain and whine to people who they will NEVER meet and say, "Boohoo! I cut myself again! I'm going to commit suicide! I'm bleeding! Oh!" Oh, is right. Oh, the humanity. Whining is one thing. Cutting yourself up and whining to someone who can't do shit about it is completely another. The people who cut themselves because it's the thing to do (which it's not), or because they're "too stressed" should just shut up. I mean, come on... if you're so depressed or stressed that you need to hack yourself up, then you should go see a therapist. I feel sorry for the people who think that cutting themselves is their only release from their "torture". I speak from experience. I used to hurt myself, too. But it was never because I wanted to be more angsty, or because I was depressed or stressed. I was, but that had nothing to do with it. I wanted to see exactly what blood running down my arms was like, and I wanted to get a taste of faint suicide before I went off and did the real thing. The thing is, that cutting gave me such an adrenaline rush, I didn't know what to do. I was scared, excited, and almost happy all at once. But, I found other things that gave me the same sort of adrenaline rush, and I stopped cutting. I think that a great deal of the people who cut, do it solely for fashion's sake, and to be dramatic. It's like they want attention. Believe me, being a cutter, you don't want to tell anyone. You don't want to tell anyone what you've been doing to yourself. You're ashamed, and scared, and you think everyone's going to think you're absolutely out of your mind. But, the truth is, is that the best thing you can do is talk to someone, not wait for them to notice the scars, or wait for the day you cut too deeply and slash the wrong vein. And, uh, a little advice for those of you who are doing this to be dramatic. JOIN THE FREAKING DRAMA CLUB!! Suicide and cutting are to be taken seriously, when the person is serious. Otherwise, it's just a lost cause.