Today was a really bad day. I didn't feel like going to school because I can't hear at all out of my left ear, and it's been that way ever since last night. So, I went to the doctor and it turns out that I have a hole in my ear drum. Don't ask me how it happened, I wouldn't be able to tell you. But I do know that I've had a burn on my arm since Saturday and never noticed up until today when I thought I had red lip gloss all over my arm but it turned out to be a burn. Damn irons. So, in short, I have a rash, a burn, I can't hear out of my left ear, and some woman keeps calling my boyfriend "Beloved" and "Sweets". And the next time it happens, I think maybe I'll go off and kill them both. I just want everything that's been happening lately to be over with. I'm tired of my mood swings, I'm tired of fighting with people, I'm tired with putting up with other people's shit, and I'm mostly tired of putting up with my own shit. I'm pissed off and worn out all the same. Sometimes I get really sick of the way I act myself. Every time I get jealous, I just explode. I burst inside and out. I get so enraged that I feel like killing the whole world and everything in it. I don't know if I have some serious problems, or it's just my human nature. Usually I'm pretty calm...
"Our father who art in Heaven, hallow be thy name, thy kingdom come, I will be done in Earth, as it is in Heaven, give us this day." -Kittie.
"You let me violate you... you let me desecrate you... you let me penetrate you... You let me complicate you... Help me, I've broke apart my insides, help me, I've got no soul to tell... Help me, the only thing that works for me... Help me get away from this Hell." -Nine Inch Nails.
"They want you... and all the same... you're here but you're not you... and no one knows you... by a name... you've been raped still, just the same." -Hole.
"For a long time, I was in love. Not only in love, I was obsessed, with a friendship that no one else could touch. It didn't work out; I'm covered in shells... And all I wanted was the simple things, a simple kind of life. And all I needed was a simple man, so I could be a wife." -No Doubt.