My Hair Journey

This page chronicles my hair journey from relaxers to natural.
 

I got my first relaxer when I was 12 years old. My mother, who has naturally wavy hair and never wore a relaxer, had absolutely NO idea what to do with my hair. And as a result, my hair used to be all over my head the majority of the time. Luckily, my grandmother was a beautician (not hair stylist, but the old school beautician), and she used to press my hair. She had this method of pressing using Ultra Sheen Pressing Cream. Her presses were so straight and greasy, but it beat the mess my mother made (bless her heart).

By the time I was 11, my mother had enough of my unruly hair and she applied my first relaxer. My God, I stayed bald until I was about 21 when I finally figured out how to take care of my hair myself...

By the time I was about 25, I had hair past my shoulders, and it was a lot of work. I never could really enjoy wearing many styles, because I learned early that the more I messed with it the more it broke off. So, the majority of the time, I wore my hair either up, or in a pony tail...(and that was no fun...) I only wore it down for special occasions like this one..

After a while, I got tired of it the relaxers, the salons, the blow dryer, the curling iron, the looking like every other girl on the street...So I started contemplating wearing my natural hair. I had no clue what it looked like; I knew it was not like my mother's, and I had no pictures of myself as a child to give me some kind of guide. 

While I knew for a fact that I wanted to wear my hair naturally, I didn't know where to start...So, during that time (December 2001), I stopped relaxing my hair. This was my 'transition' stage, and I wore lots of pony tails during this time.

By August 2002, I felt I was ready. My first cut took about 3 inches off of my hair. It was during a time when I started feeling that I was needing a change in my life. My best friend who is biracial, and who did not grow up around black people could not understand why I was wearing a relaxer (totally clueless). She was probably the biggest support base for me during this time believe it or not. She told me, "What ever you have under there is what God gave you, don't fight it (easy for her to say). If you want to wear your natural hair, do it.  Your a super star." She would always call me that. I know that she was just trying to support me in whatever I chose, but it took me a long time to realize that a 'friggin relaxer was running my life and self esteem! So that's when I did it.

I went over my mother's house in October 2002, and told her what I was going to do. And to my utter surprise, she was supportive of me. I sat down in a chair in her bathroom and covered my eyes while she cut all of the relaxer out of my hair!

When she was done, I had only two inches of hair on my head! (When I told her to cut it all off, I thought that at least she would use some discretion and leave me a little something to work with...but no, she chopped it all off!) And that's when I felt so free...It was the first time that I made a choice to be who I wanted to be no matter what... I was not trying to look like my mother who had this long naturally straight hair, and I was not trying to look like every other women black, white or otherwise that I saw on television and in magazines. I was free to be me, and it felt good!

I did not have a guide, or a role model for my decision, and I felt like a trend setter... I felt like an individual with choices; one who was comfortable with what God made! Yes, I felt like a super star! Nobody could tell me anything! I was rocking the heck out of my 'fro!

It was funny, during this time I gained so much confidence. It was not because of a hair cut, but it was because I felt independent. I felt uninfluenced by society, or people, I felt in control of my choices, and that felt REALLY good!

What really made this cool for me was the people who were inspired and who found their own courage because of my choice. Within six months of cutting my hair, two of my sisters cut off their relaxers, and one of my girlfriends did the same!

I am thankful that I have the opportunity to be myself not led by society or what others are doing. I read on marketresearch.com that the combined market for ethnic haircare, color cosmetic, and skincare products is valued at $1.6 billion, and will grow to $1.9 billion by 2006. That is a lot of money for an ethnic minority to spend...It seems like there are a lot of sisters out there trying to keep up with society. We spend so much money trying to get our hair as straight as possible, for as long as possible.   Also, I read an article about nappy hair, and it really ticked me off. Some people actually think that African American women wearing their natural hair is a fad!!! The article is kind of old, but I don't believe that general views have changed much. The article is at: (http://www.salon.com/news/1998/12/07news.html)
You should read it....

And don't get me started about some of our men...! I have had men tell me that I was basically less attractive with an afro! And my answer? "@#$% you, which part of my butt would you like to kiss????" Yeah, I know...that's not nice, but I have no patience for shallow people. I am proud of my choice, and I embrace who I am! I think it is a privilege to be where I am. It has taken a lot of courage acceptance, and pride, and I LOVE BEING ME!

So, enough with my blabbering...please enjoy my album, and e-mail me anytime...and if anyone has any ideas for me, PLEASE let me know!!!

Much love to you all!

chariseraynee