Cafe Surrey Script
Cafe Surrey
FREECOFFEE
part 2 Cafe Surrey
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INSERT
The till has five quarters inside.
BACK TO SCENE.
Ed gives the Junkie a quarter.
The Junkie goes back to the phone with the exact same
results. The quarter is summarily eaten.
Junkie comes back to the counter. Ed has a quarter waiting
for him.
ED
Y'know a coffee could help your nerves.
JUNKIE
Just gotta make one phone call.
DISSOLVE TO:
INSERT
Till with one quarter inside.
BACK TO SCENE.
Ed gives him the last quarter.
ED
You know I could dial the number for you
if you want.
The Junkie straightens up.
JUNKIE
If you're gonna be a pissface.
ED
What?
JUNKIE
Last time I come here to get coffee.
ED
You didn't get a coffee.
JUNKIE
Pig Facist!
The Junkie staggers out.
MONTAGE
A rap beat pulses through.
NARRATOR
Gotta stay awake.
- Muscle man getting a coffee
- Two teens on a date getting coffee
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
Don't think of the bed. Just focus.
- Ed making more coffee
- Very old man getting coffee
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
Don't think of Natalie's making her
monkey face when she about to come.
- Ed washing a table
- Natalie getting coffee and laughing
- Single mother with baby getting coffee
- Vinnie talking incessantly
- Ed staring off into space
BACK TO SCENE.
A JUNKIE WOMAN puts honey into her coffee and starts off.
ED
Hey, excuse me.
JUNKIE WOMAN
Yeah?
She approaches the counter challengingly
ED
I know this is none of my business but I
know you may need your morning fix. Our
spoons have been drilled.
Junkie Woman takes the spoon that she just stole out of her
pocket and takes a look. She places it carefully on the
counter.
ED (CONT'D)
I'm sorry I just didn't want you to lose
your stuff first thing in the morning.
Junkie Woman gives him a long look.
JUNKIE WOMAN
Thanks. Can I give you a piece of advice
now?
ED
Sure.
JUNKIE WOMAN
That girl, over there, that you keep
making eyes at.
ED
Which one?
JUNKIE WOMAN
You know which one.
ED
What about her.
JUNKIE WOMAN
She's not the one for you.
ED
Why do you say that?
JUNKIE WOMAN
Too young. She doesn't know what she
wants.
The Junkie Woman turns and walks. She stops momentarily at
the trash can and pulls out a piece of tinfoil. She leaves.
TITLE CARD
7:59 AM
INT. JAVA JOINT - MORNING
Ed is looking at the clock on the wall.
ED
I made it.
The coffee shop is empty except for Natalie.
NATALIE
Are you off now?
ED
I'd have to work here to be off. I made
the night staff quit. Actually I made him
cry, by accident.
NATALIE
Well I have to get going.
ED
Maybe we could get breakfast?
NATALIE
I can't I have to be somewhere in half an
hour.
ED
Look, this is the longest I've spent with
a woman.
NATALIE
Really?
ED
No but I thought that would impress you
in a pathetic, up too late, kinda way.
NATALIE
Breakfast, if we hurry.
Natalie is watching the clock now too.
The clock winds slowly. The minute hand flicks straight up.
eight AM. Ed and Natalie stare at the clock. An uncomfortable
silence.
ED
HeÕs not showing up is he?
NATALIE
I doubt it.
ED
How long will you wait?
NATALIE
Now I really want breakfast.
TITLE CARD
8:52 AM
INT. JAVA JOINT - NIGHT
Ed is cradling his head in his palm and his eyes are half
open and fixed.
NARRATOR
(singsongy like meowmix jingle)
Fuck Fuck
Fuck Fuck
Fuck Fuck
The bell rings.
Bug comes in looking miserable. Ed stiffens and stretches.
BUG
Good morning sunshine.
The scene freezes on Bug.
NARRATOR
Only in Surrey can you show up eight
hours late for a shift and not care.
ED
Where have you been? Did you know I
covered your shift?
BUG
I went home.
ED
Asshole.
Ed grabs his jacket and starts to leave.
BUG
I'm an asshole?!
Ed stops.
BUG (CONT'D)
Well I guess I'll go home again.
ED
No!
BUG
Next time don't bitch about my coffee
brewing!
Ed covers his eyes and sighs loudly.
ED
It's just-
BUG
You don't get it do you? I don't pick the
coffee beans or grind your coffee.
They're in a little pile in their filters
which are stacked in more little piles...
You made me cry about Irish Creme?
(screams)
Irish Creme!
Bug starts to look teary eyed.
BUG (CONT'D)
I hate coffee! Do you know what I did on
my last shift? I babysat.
Bug wipes a tear off while Ed waits.
BUG (CONT'D)
A little girl. I didn't know her name.
Her mom was going to the washroom and she
didn't come out... She fucking OD'd in
our washroom.
ED
Hey man I'm really-
Ed is walking towards the broken Bug. Bug suddenly flips
emotion.
BUG
Hey! Whose bag?
Bug picks up Natalie's bag.
ED
Oh shit.
BUG
If it's not yours I got dibs.
ED
She just left.
Bug has opened the bag and is already rummaging through it.
ED (CONT'D)
Don't be an asshole.
Bug spills it on the counter. Immediately picks up a pill
container.
BUG (CONT'D)
What do we have here?
ED
Don't go through her-
BUG
Ritalin. Sweet.
Ed picks up a science text book for grade nine. A note falls
out and Bug picks it up.
BUG (CONT'D)
Listen to this.
(in a girl voice half laughing)
OH my God this class is sooooo boring!
Tonight I'm going to a all night coffee
shop and hang out. Maybe a dirty old man
will invite me to breakfast-
Ed snatches the note and reads it before crumpling it.
ED
You know what Bug or whatever your
fucking name is; don't tell me cause I
don't give a shit. I'm going to bed and
I'm going to dream you never rifled
through this FUCKING TEENAGER'S things.
EXT. JAVAJOINT - MORNING
Ed stretches and pops a cigarette in his mouth. He lights it
and takes a big drag.
NARRATOR
That's the story of the Java Joint. It's
closed now but that's not the saddest
part. The saddest part of this story is
the fact that it's mostly real and not
fiction.
Ed walks away.
NARRATOR (CONT'D)
So when your tour agent books you to come
to Surrey, take an extra day or two and
search for all the crazies from this
story. Start at Surrey Place and head
down King George. Happy hunting.
FADE TO BLACK.
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(c) 2002 Trevor Cameron
