 |
| Location: | Arena: | Date: | Attendence: | Event Rating: |
| Cameron Hall | Lexington, Kentucky | 08/23/05 | 5,029 |
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| Introduction |
 [As the FOX logo dissipates, audio can be heard from within Cameron Hall. Cheering fans can be heard as the next two logos flash across the screen:]  [The A.W.A. fades away and is replaced moments later by the black and blue of the S.W.F.]  [“We Die Young” by Alice in Chains starts up as the new Riptide introduction video begins to play. Clips of Arkham and Billy Sadistic brawling at Symphony of Destruction are shown as Staley begins wailing in the background.] o/` Scary’s on his way! o/` [Haze is shown defeating Mikey Wryght in the hour-long Iron Man match at Back in Black. That clip is replaced by Josh McCool unveiling his new Heavyweight Championship on a previous Riptide.] o/` I’d advise you wait until it’s over… o/` o/` Then you got hit! o/` o/` And you shoulda known better. o/` [Machine is shown Goozling several different opponents in succession, followed by a clip of Kris Kartier and Revilation walking down to the ring with Richard Cormier.] o/` Faster we run… o/` [The Commissioner, W. William Suhgs, is shown having some sort of altercation with the Verboncours in the backstage area, but that clip is replaced by a shot of the Mad Marquis putting the boots to Donny J. McNasty.] o/` Watch the blood float in the muddy sewer. o/` o/` Take another hit! o/` o/` And bury your brother! o/` [The video package ends with members from Cormier’s Chosen brawling with members of the S.W.F. in and around the ring. The clip is consumed by a large explosion.] o/` Faster we run… o/` [The music fades away as Riptide opens to a jam-packed Cameron Hall. The fans are on their feet as a small pyrotechnics display shoots off in front of the A.W.A.-Tron. The camera zooms in on the commentator’s table at ringside to find Cliff Anderson and Jack Deruke already in their seats and ready to broadcast. However, let’s not forget about the signs…] Amber Crombie will feel the Payne! Plaz’s #1 fan! Griffin Youngblood will make you TAP! Cliff Anderson:: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Riptide! We’ve got a new television deal, thank God, and we’re primed and ready to go. Jack Deruke:: What I wants ta know is when is that little Crombie broad gonna get them sexy legs in the good doctuh’s stirrups? I wouldn’t mind bangin’ that broad myself, fruitcake. Cliff Anderson:: I’d like to give a big nod to Daniel Maddox and Jimmy Fields who called last week’s Massacre. I wish we could have been the team calling the matches for our debut show on FOX, but they did very well, if you ask me. Jack Deruke:: Yeah, but nobody asked you nothin’, jerky. Cliff Anderson:: Fans, please ignore this imbecile sitting beside me. He must be drunk again. And don’t forget to visit the A.W.A.’s website at www.atlanticarena.com to vote for your favorite wrestlers in the quarterly awards. Now, onto tonight’s show. We’ve got a great card… [Suddenly, the A.W.A.-Tron comes to life, cutting Anderson off in the process.] |
| Who’s in the Lincoln? |
|
[The backstage camera picks up a black Lincoln Navigator coming to a stop in the parking garage. The driver kills the engine as three doors open simultaneously. Arkham steps out of the driver’s seat and is followed immediately by Billy Sadistic and Jonathan Haze. Arkham flips the keys around one of his fingers as he nods to Haze.] Arkham:: Haze, you’re right. That beast handles like a dream. [Haze is too busy laughing about something with Sadistic to hear Arkham’s rare compliment. Arkham is approached by the valet as Haze and Sadistic continue to chuckle amongst themselves. Arkham hands the keys over to the valet so that he can park the Lincoln, then turns towards the Phenom and the senator to find out what’s so funny.] Haze:: …and I’m on the phone, and I’m like “Uh, who am I facing at Riptide?” And they were like “Uh…Showtime.” [Haze and Sadistic begin doubling over from laughing so hard as Arkham shakes his head in disgust.] Arkham:: You can’t possibly still be laughing about Showtime. C’mon, you’ve been laughing about it for nearly five hours now. [Sadistic slowly stops laughing, but Haze can’t seem to stop. Arkham and Sadistic stop and stare at Haze. Finally, Haze controls himself, and the three men head into the arena.] Billy Sadistic:: Look, I know you’re both honored that Dean chose you two to go for the Southeast Heritage Championship at MegaBrawl, but you’ve gotta stop and think about this for a minute. Why would Dean pick you two? What’s his motivation? He’s gotta have an ulterior motive… Arkham:: You think he’s trying to split us up? Billy Sadistic:: Well, why would he go out of his way to bring the belt back? Haze:: Hold on a second. Maybe he thinks we deserve a shot at the title. Ever think of that, Mr. Phenom? Billy Sadistic:: Whoa, cool it. I’m not saying you two don’t deserve a shot. I’m just trying to look out for you guys… [A.S.H. continues to bicker as they exit the garage into the arena. Riptide goes to a commercial break.] |
| Outstanding! |
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[Riptide returns with Reece Williams standing backstage with the new FOX Television Champion, Rich Verboncour, and his father, Jerry. Jerry is garbed in his full Army regalia and Rich is wearing both the championship belt and a cocky smirk as he looks down at Reece.] Reece Williams:: Welcome back, fans. I’m here with the new T.V. Champion, Rich Verboncour. He’s going to be defending the title against Griffin Youngblood in a few short minutes, and I’m here to get his pre-match thoughts… Rich Verboncour:: You wanna get some thoughts from the One Night Stand? I think that I’m gonna hand Griffin Youngblood his own ass out there. How’s that for a thought? Jerry Verboncour:: Jerry agrees with his son! Jerry has been watching Rich train all week, and Jerry thinks that Rich is gonna hand Griffin Youngblood his own ass out there! Reece Williams:: Do you think this match is gonna go the full fifteen minutes? Rich Verboncour:: Are you kidding me? Griffin Youngblood couldn’t go fifteen minutes with this stallion! Honey, this match is gonna be a lot like Griffin Youngblood’s bedroom reputation…short and sweet! Jerry Verboncour:: Outstanding! [With that, the Verboncours storm off set and head to the ring for the opening match of the night.] |
| Standard Match: Fifteen Minute Time Limit: Rich Verboncour vs. Griffin Youngblood | FOX Television Championship |
 |
 6'3" 245 lbs. Submission Grappler 6/6/1 |  |  6’4" 258 lbs. Mat Technician 5/4/1 |
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[Griffin Youngblood makes his way down to the ring with eyes so cold they look like they could douse the heartiest of fires. He calmly waits in the corner as the fans cheer him on. Rich Verboncour is out next, accompanied by his crazy father. The match begins and Rich Verboncour goes right for Griffin.] Cliff Anderson:: Those Verboncours are insane. [Rich boots Griffin in the stomach, then Irish whips him into the ropes. Griffin rebounds with a head of steam and throws a running lariat with incredible velocity! The One Night Stand catches Griffin’s arm and uses Youngblood’s momentum to drive him to the mat. The fans come to their feet as Verboncour tries to lock in Anesthesia fifteen seconds into the bout!] Cliff Anderson:: Verboncour is trying to lock in that crossface variation! If he gets it, this match is over! [Griffin side-somersaults out of the hold but hangs on to Rich’s wrist. He pulls Verboncour off the mat and whips him into the ropes. Griffin scores with a drop toehold and chains it right into the Griffin Submission! The fans erupt!] Cliff Anderson:: The Griffin Submission! Youngblood’s got it locked in the middle of the ring…and Verboncour’s tapping! He’s tapping! [Verboncour taps repeatedly on the mat as the crowd goes crazy! The referee calls for the bell, but Youngblood continues to wrench on his variation of the S.T.F. The bell continues to ring, but Griffin won’t release the hold. Jerry slides into the ring, and finally the combined effort of the referee and Jerry are enough to pull Griffin off of Rich Verboncour. Rich slides out of the ring, clearly in pain, as the referee drapes the FOX Television Championship over Griffin’s shoulder. Griffin could care less.] Cliff Anderson:: Griffin Youngblood forced the Television Champion to tap out in under a minute! If you think that he’s not prepared for the submission match at MegaBrawl against Kris Kartier, you’re out of your damn mind. Jack Deruke:: Did you see his eyes when he had that silly little move on the stallion? Cliff Anderson:: Yeah, I did. It’s clear that in his mind, he wasn’t fighting Rich Verboncour in there… [Griffin heads to the back with the look of Death in his eyes as the fans applaud him.] |
| Did somebody say “hardcore”? |
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Cliff Anderson:: All I’ve gotta say is I wouldn’t wanna be in Kartier’s shoes when Saturday rolls around. [“Respect” by Sevendust blares over the speakers and the fans come to their feet. After a few seconds, the Nomad stumbles out from the back. He looks slightly inebriated and it looks like his face hasn’t seen a razor in nearly a week. He’s wearing a pair of black jeans and a faded leather jacket as he heads down to the ring.] Jack Deruke:: Yeah, buddy! Cliff Anderson:: The Nomad is back! The last we’d seen, he’d been kidnapped by the Mad Marquis… [The King of Hardcore rolls into the ring and calls for a mic as the music dies out. The fans quiet down as the Nomad raises the stick to his mouth.] Donny J. McNasty:: Heh, heh. I bet you’re all wonderin’ what happened to good old Donny McNasty last week, ain’t ya? Well, boys, roll the footage. [The A.W.A.-Tron comes to life inside of a dingy basement filled with all sorts of shackles, whips, and leather restraints. The video is from earlier in the week and shows the Marquis tormenting McNasty, who is still under the influence of the Marquis’ drugs. The Marquis proceeds to apply makeup and a wig to McNasty so that he looks like a girl before slipping out of the room to fetch a blade. While he’s gone, a midget appears and aids McNasty in his escape. The Marquis returns to find an empty chair and throws a huge tantrum as the scene fades to black.] Donny J. McNasty:: Marquis! You tried to cut my face into little pieces! You wanted to make me look as ugly as you! Well I’ll tell you what, you little French Fry, I’m so generous that I’m gonna give you one more chance to cut me up... [The fans aren’t quite sure where McNasty is going with this, so they listen quietly.] Donny J. McNasty:: You see, when I escaped from your perverted little torture chamber, I went to a place that I felt comfortable…and I’m not talking about the Drunken Leprechaun. I went somewhere and I found something that I’d been missing for a long, long time. I found the final piece to the puzzle, and I’m ready to give you one more shot at carving out your masterpiece… [McNasty pulls his jacket back revealing the S.W.F. Hardcore Championship fastened around his waist. The site of the belt throws the Lexington faithful into an uproar. McNasty gives a sly grin as he continues speaking.] Donny J. McNasty:: Let’s see how bad you want me, Marquis. I’m not hard to find. I’m challenge you to a hardcore match at MegaBrawl! [The fans give another roar.] Donny J. McNasty:: And I assure you that if you show up at MegaBrawl you’re going to bleed more than you’ve ever bled in your life. But right now, I’m going to head to the back, drink some Guinness, and wait for the lovely Kimberly Mills arrive. Marquis, if you’ve got the sack, you know where to find me… [McNasty drops the mic and pulls a can of Guinness out of his front pocket. He pops the top and thrusts the beer into the air to the delight of the fans. He chugs it down before heading to the back to a standing ovation from the fans.] Cliff Anderson:: Well, the Nomad is back and so is the beer. We’ve gotta take a break. Don’t go away. |
| Tag Team Match: Arkham & Billy Sadistic vs. 40 oz & The False Marquis |
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Arkham  Billy Sadistic 448 lbs. 0/0/0 | | 40 oz  The False Marquis 508 lbs. 0/0/0 |
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[Riptide returns with the False Marquis and the alcoholic beverage already in the ring. The lights dim, the music hits, and out walk the Kill Devils Hill Daredevil and the Phenom to thunderous boos from the crowd. The brothers head down to the ring and don’t even wait for the bell.] Cliff Anderson:: They’re not wasting any time going after the opposition. Jack Deruke:: Hell no, they ain’t! They’re beatin’ these two jackasses in front of God and everybody! [The referee calls for the bell, but the imposter and 40 oz are already being beaten merciless by Arkham and Sadistic. Arkham plants the False Marquis with the Gale Force Advisory as the Phenom simultaneously hits the Sadistic DDT on 40 oz. Arkham and Sadistic make dual covers as the referee makes the count. 1…2…3!] Cliff Anderson:: Well, A.S.H. makes short work of 40 oz and the False Marquis… [Arkham and Sadistic disappear behind the curtain as the A.W.A.-Tron flickers to life.] |
| Undefeated |
|
[One of the doors leading into Cameron Hall swings open and in walks the Heavyweight Champion, Josh McCool. The crowd bursts into cheers as McCool heads towards his dressing room with his custom-made title slung over one shoulder and a travel bag slung over the other. McCool appears to be limping, obviously still hurting from the beating that Sadistic laid on him last week, but he still has enough presence of mind to stop a stagehand that happens to be walking by.] Josh McCool:: Hey, have you seen Billy Sadistic? [The stagehand simply shakes his head and continues past. McCool continues into the arena as the camera catches a glimpse of Machine standing in the background watching.] |
| Resident Whipping Boy |
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[The camera focuses in on Machine, who is standing near the concession table with a giant cookie gripped in one of his monstrous hands. He watches McCool disappear somewhere inside the building, then turns his attention back to the cookie.] Cliff Anderson:: There’s Machine. He’s gonna be challenging Josh McCool later on tonight for the Heavyweight Championship. [Just as Machine is about to stuff the cookie through his leather mask into his mouth, Rosco Pico Train walks by, distracting the big man from his cookie yet again. Machine watches as Train, whose face is bandaged up thanks to the coffee burns he suffered at the hands of Glitz and Glamour last week, trots past. Rosco looks to be in a hurry as he trots around the corner.] Johnny Glitz:: Amber, don’t worry. He won’t lay a finger on you… [Rosco rounds the corner right into Glitz and Glamour, who are walking with Amber Crombie and Fitch. Johnny and Bobby stumble backwards and Rosco falls to the ground. Rosco immediately tries to push himself away as the Tag Team Champions become infuriated.] Johnny Glitz:: What is it with you? Bobby Glamour:: Yeah, haven’t you had enough yet? Johnny Glitz:: I guess he hasn’t. Get him! [The camera zooms in on Rosco’s terrified face as Glitz and Glamour reach down to grab the poor, abused man. However, the champions stop in their tracks and slowly look up. The camera begins zooming out, and as it does a pair of giant, black boots come into view. As the camera continues to zoom out, we find that the boots belong to Machine. Seeing this, the crowd begins cheering loudly. Glitz and Glamour slowly begin backing away as the Giant German reaches down and lifts Rosco up off the ground. Machine slowly shakes his head from side to side as the quartet looks on in disgust.] Cliff Anderson:: Machine has come to the aid of Rosco Pico Train! And Glitz and Glamour aren’t very happy. Johnny Glitz:: Easy big guy, we’re just on our way out to the ring. No need to get hostile. Amber Crombie:: Ugh! You so need a bath, fatty. Let’s get out of here. [Glitz and Glamour walk out of view with their lovely valets as Machine continues to hang on to Rosco. Rosco, on the other hand, looks like he’s about to wet himself.] Amber Crombie:: That guy’s a total freakazoid… Jack Deruke:: Don’t go away, you silly little bastards. Riptide will be right back. |
| Tag Team Match: Glitz and Glamour vs. Willis Clayton & Grendel | Tag Team Championships |
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Johnny Glitz  Bobby Glamour 461 lbs. 4/0/0 | | Willis Clayton  Grendel 562 lbs. 1/4/0 |
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[Riptide returns from the commercial break to find Grendel and Willis Clayton already in the ring awaiting the Tag Team Champions.] Cliff Anderson:: Welcome back. Right now, we’ve got tag team action coming your way, and the Tag Team Championships are on the line as Glitz and Glamour defend against Willis Clayton and Grendel. [Glitz and Glamour and their entourage head out from the back and enter the ring as referee Paige calls for the bell to start the match. Glitz and Glamour dominate the match from the beginning. Glitz and Glamour eventually isolate Willis Clayton and wear him down with quick tags and good teamwork. The match comes to an end when Glitz and Glamour take out Clayton with the Coming Attraction, followed by the pin by Bobby Glamour.] Cliff Anderson:: Glitz and Glamour show why they’re the Tag Team Champions as they physically dissect Willis Clayton and Grendel. |
| Going over the gameplan. |
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[A shot of A.S.H. fires up on the A.W.A.-Tron and the fans begin booing immediately. The trio is sitting in their locker room at a foldout card table, and they seem to be discussing strategy.] Billy Sadistic:: Haze, I want you to go out there tonight and I want you to kill Mr. Showtime. Haze:: Okay. Arkham:: No. Seriously. I want you to actually kill Mr. Showtime. [Haze and Sadistic slowly look at each other, then back at Arkham. They wait for the laughter that is sure to come from the Kill Devil Hills Daredevil…but it never comes.] Billy Sadistic:: Um…okay. Now you two still remember the plan, right? I’m gonna lure McCool to the back, and you two know what to do from there, right? Haze:: Yup. Just give us the signal. [Sadistic looks at Arkham, and he gives him a nod.] Billy Sadistic:: Okay. Well, I’ve gotta take a leak. Hang tight. [Sadistic stands and heads to the restroom as Arkham and Haze watch him leave.] Haze:: Hey, is Sadistic crazy, or do you really think that Dean might be trying to split us apart? [Arkham gives the senator a simple shrug. Suddenly, a stagehand bursts in through the door and he gasping for breath.] Stagehand:: Haze, your Navigator’s getting towed as we speak! [The stagehand continues to struggle for air as Haze leaps out of his seat.] Haze:: What?! [Arkham stands and the two men follow the stagehand out of the room. The flushing of a toilet is heard and seconds later, Sadistic returns from the bathroom.] Billy Sadistic:: Guys, I was thinking that maybe we should…. [Sadistic glances around the room and realizes that it’s empty.] Billy Sadistic:: Guys? [The shot switches to a different portion of Cameron Hall.] |
| Nobody to turn to. |
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[Mindy Rollins-Youngblood stands backstage outside a door marked with
a big four-leaf clover and the name "The Nomad" Donny J. McNasty
emblazoned on it. She takes a deep breath, raises and lowers her
shoulders, and tries to collect herself. Finally, she knocks on the
door, three hard raps. The muffled voice of Donny McNasty greets her
from behind the door.] Donny J. McNasty:: Come on in. [One more deep breath and Mindy finally opens the door and slowly walks through. Donny is going through some things in his gear bag but looks up to see who was at the door. Though a little surprised, he greets her with a big smile.] Donny J. McNasty:: Well if it isn't my favorite little model! I almost didn't recognize you with all those clothes on! [Donny laughs as he mimics taking pictures with an imaginary camera. Mindy doesn't appear pleased with his actions at all.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: Donny, please...don't. [Donny merely shrugs.] Donny J. McNasty:: Sorry. Just goofing around. What'd you need? [Not paying much attention, Donny goes back to minding his equipment while Mindy talks.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: I don't know where to turn. I can't tell Griffin. He'd go nuts and only end up getting us both hurt. But I have to tell someone. Donny, you've been a good friend to me over the years and even though I know you and Griffin have had your problems in the past, I don't have anywhere to turn. [In the midst of Mindy's speech, Donny has tuned back in and actually started listening.] Donny J. McNasty:: Hey, don't worry. I'm here for you. What's the matter? Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: Donny...I'm pregnant... [Mindy quickly lunges to Donny after her confession and buries her head in his shoulder. She begins crying uncontrollably. Her voice becomes higher pitched and she speaks noticeably faster. Donny appears stunned as Mindy rambles on in a hurried fashion.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: I just don't know what to do and I can't tell him because he'd freak out and he doesn't want to start a family until he retires and if Kris Kartier found out he'd try to use it against him and Griffin doesn't need his attention divided...and…and... Donny J. McNasty:: Whoa, whoa, whoa...calm down. [Donny appears a little worried now that his stun has worn off.] Donny J. McNasty:: Is it...is it mine? [Mindy appears appalled.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: Donny, it's been five years... Donny J. McNasty:: Oh...right... [Mindy continues speaking hurriedly.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: It's just that this was an accident and I never meant for it to happen but I ran out of birth control and thought it would be okay for one night and I didn't get to the store and then…and then I was PREGNANT! [Mindy spits out the last word, "PREGNANT", as if it is the most disgusting thing she has ever said.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: And it was bad timing because I'm just getting into this reporter thing again and Griffin was just getting the rust off and he was going to get his revenge and we were going to live happily ever after and everything was going to be perfect and if this gets out he'll have to watch out for me and that'll distract him and he could get hurt and I'd have to take care of all three of us and provide the income for our family and... Donny J. McNasty:: Hey, calm down. Here, have a beer. [Donny digs a beer out of his bag and holds it out to Mindy, but she wrinkles her nose and shoots him a condescending look.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: Uh, Donny... Donny J. McNasty:: Yeah? Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: I'm pregnant, remember? [Donny appears confused.] Donny J. McNasty:: So? [Mindy appears stunned by the drunken Donny's offer of the beer to a pregnant woman, and even more stunned that he doesn't see anything wrong with it. Donny is still holding the beer out to Mindy when the door to his locker room opens to reveal a smiling Kimberly Mills. Donny turns and smiles back at her, but Kimberly is no longer smiling after noticing Mindy. In fact, she is glaring at Mindy. Mindy looks uncomfortable with the situation.] Mindy Rollins-Youngblood:: Uh, I guess I better go. Thanks for listening, Donny. [Mindy gives Donny a huge hug before hurrying out the door and away from the glaring eyes of Kimberly Mills. Kimberly is still glaring, but Donny is a little oblivious, now holding the beer out to Kimberly.] Donny J. McNasty:: Beer? [Kimberly looks very upset as she storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her. McNasty simply shrugs and continues drinking.] Cliff Anderson:: Folks, don’t touch that remote. We’ll be back in a jiffy. |
| The Doctor’s Office Amber Crombie gets examined. |
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[We come back from the commercial break to find the Doctor’s Office setup in the ring. Everybody’s favorite wrestling gynecologist is already inside of his office as the neon “Doctor’s Office” sign hangs down from the ceiling above the ring. However, the office looks a little different this week. Instead of the table with the black doctor’s bag on top, we have an examination chair in its place. Dr. Payne is definitely ready for this week’s guest as he even has a special toy propped up in the corner of the ring under a stained sheet. The fans begin cheering as Payne raises the microphone to his mouth.] Dr. Payne:: Ladies and genitals… [The fans immediately let out a wave of cheers in anticipation of the good doctor’s famous line.] Dr. Payne:: …welcome… Crowd:: …to the Doctor’s Office! [Payne begins laughing as the fans finish his line for him. The cheers come again and Payne waits until they die down.] Dr. Payne:: Genitals, I must admit that I’ve been looking forward to this edition of the Doctor’s Office more than any other episode in its long, illustrious history. You wanna know why? [The fans give an affirmative cheer.] Dr. Payne:: I’ll tell ya why! Not only do I get to examine that nasty, disgusting, diseased, filthy, rotten, repulsive skank…I also get to try out my new toy on her! [With that, Payne yanks the sheet off of his toy in the corner to reveal some sort of jimmy-rigged contraption that appears far to large to do any sort of examining in a woman’s nether regions.] Dr. Payne:: The Stretch-o-Matic 5000! And I know you all must be wondering “Hey Dr. Payne, I know that you were using that on a few of your other patients a few days ago. Have you cleaned it since then?” And to answer your question… [Payne begins nodding his head.] Dr. Payne:: No! No, I haven’t! Ha ha ha! So without further adieu, let’s bring out Miss Crombie, the loser of last week’s bra and panties match, so that I can do a little stretching. Amber Crombie, get out here and get those hairy legs in my stirrups! [“Don’t Cha” by The Pussycat Dolls hits the arena and the fans are ready to supply Miss Crombie with a nice share of boos. She walks out from the back, but is quickly accompanied by Glitz, Glamour, and Fitch. The boos increase as Johnny Glitz pulls a microphone from the front of his pants.] Johnny Glitz:: Payne, last week you had the gall…the NERVE…to put your greasy, grimy hands on the sacred, beautiful private areas of Miss Crombie! [The fans erupt upon hearing this as Payne eggs them on from inside the Doctor’s Office.] Dr. Payne:: And just in case some of these fans don’t believe you, let’s take a look at the footage! [The A.W.A.-Tron comes alive with a clip from last week’s Massacre. The clip plays over and over showing Dr. Payne locking in the Vaginal Claw on Amber Crombie. The Hollywood quartet raises hell at the top of the stage as it continues to play repeatedly. The fans, on the other hand, love it. Dr. Payne holds his hand up in front of his hand and begins clenching and unclenching his fist.] Dr. Payne:: As you’ve just seen, yet another victim fell prey to the most powerful hand in professional wrestling! Johnny Glitz:: Yeah, well that will be the last time you ever lay your hands on Amber, dude. As of right now, I’m calling this whole disgusting examination charade of yours off! That’s right! What you did last week to Amber was sexual harassment, and as a result, we have a restraining order against you! You’re not to be within fifty feet of Amber Crombie or you’ll be arrested! [The foursome begin laughing as the crowd lets out wave after wave of boos. Payne looks most displeased as Bobby Glamour grabs the mic from Glitz.] Bobby Glamour:: And that’s not all, my friend. You see, after what you did to Amber last week, we’ve been lookin’ for a little revenge, and I think we’ve found the perfect way to get that revenge. I guess you could say that it’s totally up our alley. Payne, we’re challenging you to a backlot brawl at MegaBrawl. Johnny Glitz:: Yeah! But not just any backlot brawl…a Hollywood Backlot Brawl! Bobby Glamour:: So, Doc, what do ya say? Dr. Payne:: Honestly, I could care less if it’s a Backdoor Intrusion in Bangkok. The bottom line is that at MegaBrawl, I’m bringing the gold back home were it belongs! Johnny Glitz:: Well, that’s if you even make it to MegaBrawl… [Glitz drops the mic as he and Glamour slowly head down to the ring. Payne tosses his mic out of the ring, then prepares for a fight as Glitz and Glamour circle opposite sides of the ring. Glamour dives in first, and Payne is all over him. Glitz slides in from the other side and jumps on Payne from behind. Payne tries to fight both men off as Amber Crombie and Fitch cheer on their boys from the entryway. Payne fights valiantly, but the odds are two much for him. Johnny Glitz drops Payne with Picture Perfect, then he and Glamour begin pummeling the good doctor as the fans boo.] Cliff Anderson:: The Tag Team Champions are beating the snot out of Dr. Payne, and he can’t do a damn thing about it! His partner, Allen Stevenson is still on the shelf from injuries suffered at the hands of Arkham last month. This could be the end of the wrestling gynecologist! [“Money” by Pink Floyd blasts over the speakers and Cameron Hall comes unglued! Fitch and Crombie turn around just in time for Allen Stevenson to barrel right through them with his trademark briefcase clutched to his chest. Fitch and Crombie are knocked on their behinds as Stevenson sprints down the aisle and dives into the ring. Glamour’s head leaves a good-sized dent in the briefcase, prompting Glitz to bail out of the ring. Glamour rolls to the outside in a daze as the Tag Team Champions retreat up the aisle.] Cliff Anderson:: The Fierce Accountant is back! The Professionals are back in business! Jack Deruke:: Yeah, and Allen Stevenson is takin’ care of business! [Stevenson helps Payne to his feet as Glitz and Glamour rendezvous with their valets near the entrance. Payne gets back on the mic while clutching his head with his free hand.] Dr. Payne:: You two flaring hemorrhoids think you’re gonna leave MegaBrawl with those straps?! Allen Stevenson:: Don’t account on it! [The fans begin cheering as Riptide cuts to a commercial.] |
| Dude, where’s my car? |
|
[Riptide returns to find Arkham and Haze jogging into the parking garage behind a stagehand who is leading the way. They enter the garage just in time to see a tow truck with “Larry’s Towing” emblazoned along the door pulling away with Haze’s Lincoln Navigator in tow. Haze screams and begins running after his baby, but it’s no use. The two truck pulls out of the garage and turns onto the street as Haze slowly stops in the middle of the garage.] Arkham:: Hey, why’d the tow the Navigator? Stagehand:: They said it was illegally parked. [This perks Haze’s ears, and he turns around with an angry look on his face.] Haze:: Arkham! You illegally parked my car? Arkham:: No. I gave the keys to the valet. Stagehand:: Valet? We don’t have valet parking at Cameron Hall. Arkham:: What? [Arkham is confused as he replays the scene over in his head. Haze, on the other hand, is becoming infuriated. He looks at Arkham, then shakes his head in disgust and storms off. Arkham, on the other hand, looks confused by the whole incident.] Arkham:: If you don’t have valet parking, then who’d I give the keys to? [The stagehand simply shrugs as the shot returns to the ringside area.] |
| Standard Match: Josh McCool vs. Machine | Heavyweight Championship |
|
 6'9" 287 lbs. Powerhouse 27/0/0 | | 7’5" 432 lbs. Powerhouse 8/14/0 |
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Cliff Anderson:: Things aren’t looking good in the A.S.H. camp. Jack Deruke:: Looks like somebody’s tryin’ to take somethin’ on ‘em, if you ask me… [Machine is already in the ring, awaiting the Heavyweight Champion. McCool music hits and the man with the undefeated streak walks out from the back and heads straight to the ring, despite the thunderous ovation he receives. He enters the ring, hands his custom-made belt to the referee, then prepares to face Machine.] Cliff Anderson:: Ladies and gents, this is a Heavyweight Championship match between to bulls. [Both men go right for one another, but the banged up McCool can’t match power with the massive Machine. Machine goes to work on McCool and pummels him all around the ring. McCool lays a few punches into the side of Machine’s head, but they seem to have no effect. Late in the match, McCool scores with a running shoulder tackle that staggers the Giant German. McCool takes advantage of the situation and in a questionable move heads to the top rope. McCool comes off the top rope but jumps right into the waiting hand of Machine. Machine plants McCool with the chokeslam and goes for the pin in the center of the ring.] Cliff Anderson:: New champion! [The referee makes the count. 1…2…kickout! The place erupts as McCool kicks out of the Goozle. Machine continues to work on McCool, but McCool starts to fire back with big right hands that rock the big man. McCool goes for an Irish whip, but Machine reverses. McCool rebounds off the ropes and throws a vicious Facelift! The blow connects full force, but Machine doesn’t go down. McCool stares out into the crowd and they come to their feet. McCool boots Machine in the stomach, then locks him in for the W.M.D.! The fans start to buzz.] Cliff Anderson:: McCool is gonna try to get Machine up for the powerbomb! [McCool tries to lift Machine, but he’s unsuccessful. The fans begin cheering him, and he gives another attempt. This time, McCool uses every ounce of strength in his body and succeeds in lifting the monster up for the Weapon of Mass Destruction. McCool barely avoids dropping Machine on the top of his head and instead deposits him awkwardly on the back of his neck. The place goes banana!] Cliff Anderson:: He did it! He did it! Jack Deruke:: Jesus… [McCool collapses on top of Machine in exhaustion as the referee makes the count. 1…2…3! Machine kicks out a split-second too late and the bell rings. The fans erupt as McCool rolls to the corner with his arms raises in the air. The referee drapes McCool’s title over his shoulder, but the cheers quickly turn to boos.] Cliff Anderson:: Oh, no. Here comes trouble. Sadistic has just stepped out from the back. |
| Come to Daddy |
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[Sure enough, Billy Sadistic is standing in front of the entryway with a microphone in hand. He mockingly claps his hands for McCool before speaking.] Billy Sadistic:: Hey, you big ogre, I’m over here. [McCool notices Sadistic, and his eyes instantly go cold. The Son of a Bitch drops his belt and immediately bails out of the ring to go after the Phenom.] Billy Sadistic:: C’mon. Come to the Phenom. Come to daddy you big, dumb son of a bitch! [McCool slowly stalks up the aisle towards Sadistic. The Phenom continues on the mic.] Billy Sadistic:: Look at you. You’re record’s a sham. At MegaBrawl, I’m gonna prove it when I relieve you of not only your Heavyweight Championship, but your undefeated streak as well. [As McCool comes closer, Sadistic drops the mic and disappears behind the curtain. The Heavyweight Champion gives chase as the cameraman follows along. Sadistic runs in fear as McCool stalks him like a predator stalking his prey. Finally, Sadistic stops running, and instead begins backpeddling away from McCool. Now, it looks as if he’s luring McCool rather than running in fear.] Billy Sadistic:: C’mon. Just a little closer, you buffoon. Almost there. Almost. Aaaaand…now! [Sadistic’s eyes light up as he waits for his trap to unfold. Nothing happens.] Billy Sadistic:: Now! Now, now, now!!! [Sadistic’s eyes fill with worry as McCool closes in on him. Sadistic turns to plan “B” and turns to flee. He rounds a corner and catches a stiff chairshot to the top of the head. The chair strikes him in such a manner that his head actually splits between the backrest and the seat, folding the chair into an impromptu steel picture frame. Sadistic stumbles around aimlessly with the chair hanging around his neck as the valet steps out from around the corner.] Cliff Anderson:: Hold on a second. That’s the valet that took the keys to Haze’s Navigator. Wait a minute, that’s not a valet at all! [The valet rips off his face mustache, hat, and wig and tosses it on the ground, revealing Plaz Bastardo! He gives a brief smile before turning and walking away casually. Sadistic peels the chair from around his head just in time for McCool to level the Phenom with the Facelift on the concrete! The fans go ballistic as McCool begins laying some heavy punches into the head of Sadistic!] Cliff Anderson:: Plaz Bastardo! He just took out Billy Sadistic for McCool, and because of Plaz, A.S.H. is nowhere to be found! This is the third week in a row that Plaz has assaulted a member of A.S.H.! A.S.H. has no answer to his hit-and-fun tactics, and McCool is beating the hell out of the Phenom! Sadistic is busted open! [Blood pours from a small wound above Sadistic’s left eye as McCool beats him at will. McCool pulls Sadistic up from the ground and prepares to throw him into the concrete wall, but Sadistic aims low and boots McCool in the groin. McCool drops to his knees, giving the Phenom his chance to escape. Sadistic runs out of the building as McCool stares after him from beneath lowered eyebrows.] Josh McCool:: Run all you want. We’ll see how far you can run at MegaBrawl when we’re inside of a steel cage… [The fans erupt at the mention of the steel cage as Riptide cuts to a commercial break.] |
| Tag Team Match: The Insurance Policy vs. The Folk |
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Kris Kartier  Revilation 496 lbs. 0/3/0 | | Jingles Jigsaw 535 lbs. 2/10/0 |
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Cliff Anderson:: Welcome back, fans. You’re just in time for some hot tag team action between the Folk and the Insurance Party. [The Folk and the Insurance Policy are already in the ring and the bell rings to start the match. Kartier and Revilation dominate the match from start to finish. Jingles and Jigsaw barely even get in any offense at all as Kartier and Revilation pummel them from pillar to post. Revilation gets the pin on Jingles after hitting the Sacrifyce. Jigsaw attempts to intervene, but gets choked out by Kartier’s Karta-Hajime for his efforts. The fans boo as Kartier and Revilation rule the ring.] Cliff Anderson:: The Insurance Policy put in a dominating performance here tonight at the expense of Jingles and Jigsaw. [Suddenly, the lights go out and the A.W.A.-Tron flickers to life. Messages begin appearing on the big screen.] Walking in the first person: $100 Kick ass in person: Priceless! [The messages are replaced by the faint MegaBrawl logo, then by a clip of the robed man that’s been tormenting Kris Kartier for the past month. The clip fades out with the robed man chuckling mildly to himself. The lights resume to find a confused Kris Kartier exchanging glances with Revilation.] |
| Just can’t wait until MegaBrawl! |
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[Unfortunately for the Insurance Policy, they were too caught up in the confusion to notice Griffin Youngblood sliding into the ring from the crowd. The fans go nuts as Griffin spears Kartier to the mat and starts peppering him with repeated right hands. Revilation grabs Griffin from behind and yanks him off of Kartier, but Griffin retaliates with a mulekick low blow that drops Revilation to his knees. The fans continue cheering as Griffin hits the ropes and comes back with a running boot to the side of Revilation’s head!] Jack Deruke:: Griffin nearly made Revilation eat his f{bleep}in’ shoe! [Kartier capitalizes on the situation and locks in the Karta-Hajime from behind! Griffin grabs Kartier’s right wrist, preventing him from fully locking in the hold. The fans get behind Youngblood as he struggles to break free. Youngblood pushes Kartier’s arm away, sidesteps, and hits a go-behind reversal on Kartier! Youngblood wraps his free arm around Kartier’s throat and traps the Atlantic Champion in his own submission hold! The fans erupt!] Cliff Anderson:: Youngblood has the Karta-Hajime locked in on Kris Kartier! [Kartier struggles to break free, but Revilation is there to make the save with a clubbing blow to the back of Youngblood. Griffin relinquishes the hold as Revilation pummels Griffin. The Insurance Policy double-teams Griffin, planting him with a spike piledriver in the center of the ring. The crowd boos mercilessly as Kartier and Revilation head to the back, talking trash the whole way.] Cliff Anderson:: Fans, stay right where you are. This is our last commercial break of the evening! |
| The man everybody loves to hate. |
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[As soon as Riptide returns, “All in the Suit that you Wear” by Stone Temple Pilots hits. The fans’ boos are immediate as the owner of the A.W.A., Richard Cormier, walks out from the back. He’s followed by W. William Suhgs, who has the S.W.F. Hardcore Championship draped over one of his shoulders. The A.W.A. owner and the Commissioner enter the ring as the Lexington fans continue to shower them with jeers.] Richard Cormier:: Believe me, you inbred idiots, the feeling is mutual. [This comment draws even more booing, much to Cormier’s approval. He and Suhgs have a good laugh until the booing dies down.] Richard Cormier:: Well, I can honestly say that we’re not even to the main event yet and already this show has been much, much better than last week’s Massacre! Ha ha ha! [Just when you didn’t think the boos could get any louder, they do.] Richard Cormier:: You see, unlike your hero, Bryant Dean, I actually know how to produce captivating television! So it goes without saying that Riptide is the far superior show here! But I don’t need to prove that it’s the better show, I think the ratings will speak for themselves. But at MegaBrawl, I will prove that I’m the superior MAN when I beat Dean’s ass in a Louisville Street Fight! [The fans boo Cormier’s ridiculous claim, but he continues right over the top of them.] Richard Cormier:: And after I beat Dean’s ass, I’m going to unveil the newly-assembled Chosen! That’s right! At MegaBrawl, I’m finally going to finish assembling the most elite stable in pro wrestling history, proving once and for all that the S.W.F. is inferior to the A.W.A. in every way! Dean, once MegaBrawl is all said and done your boys won’t stand a chance against this juggernaut! W. Williams Suhgs:: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Hold on just a second, here, Mr. Cormier. I don’t want to pry, but who have you signed? Who are you going to bring into the Chosen that will make you so unstoppable? [Cormier gives a fake laugh before answering.] Richard Cormier:: Suhgs, let’s just say that they’re three of the biggest stars in the history of this sport…but they’re not the only ones I’m bringing into the Chosen. But enough about how the A.W.A. is going to be unstoppable. Where’d you get that slick little belt, there? [Suhgs motions to the S.W.F. Hardcore Championship that is resting on his shoulder. Cormier nods.] W. Williams Suhgs:: Oh, you mean this? Why…I found this on some drunk that was passed out in the back. Looks pretty cool, don’t it? [Cormier gives an approving nod as the fans boo both men.] W. Williams Suhgs:: Let me make one thing very clear to everybody in the back. You can’t just go around introducing belts at will. But I can! Ha ha! And I think this belt needs a proper welcoming. I also think that MegaBrawl needs a touch of W. William Suhgs, so I’m proposing the first ever…and this is a completely original idea, mind you. I’m proposing the first ever “W. William Suhgs Invitational Hardcore Ladder Race!” [The fans begin booing the Commissioner’s “original” idea, knowing full well that’s it’s been done several times in the S.W.F.] W. William Suhgs:: That’s right. Anybody in the back is free to enter this match, providing you don’t already have a match scheduled for MegaBrawl. The belt will be hanging above the ring, and the first person to climb the ladder and retrieve gets to keep it…for what it’s worth… [“F*ck It” by Seether booms over the P.A. system and the fans go crazy! After a few seconds, Bryant Dean steps out from the back to a hero’s welcome by the jam-packed Cameron Hall. He’s got a microphone in his hand, and he doesn’t look happy.] Bryant Dean:: What a surprise! The big Dick has decided to abuse his power…again! [The fans boo Cormier’s abuse of power.] Bryant Dean:: You think that just because this is Riptide, you can do whatever you please? Wrong! [The fans let out a loud cheer as Cormier glares at Dean while grinding his teeth in anger.] Bryant Dean:: You think that Riptide is the better show? Richard Cormier:: You’re damn right, it is! Bryant Dean:: You think that you’re gonna beat my ass at MegaBrawl? Richard Cormier:: You’re damn right, I do! Bryant Dean:: You think you’re man enough to put your money where your mouth is? Richard Cormier:: … Bryant Dean:: C’mon, Richie! Where’d your confidence go? If you’re so sure that Riptide is the better show and you’re so sure that you’re gonna beat my ass, then why don’t you put Riptide on the line? You win, Riptide stays. But if you lose, then Massacre will takes its place from now on! [The crowd roars their approval! Cormier, on the other hand, looks like he wants to crawl into a hole and get away from the world.] Bryant Dean:: Richie, where’d all that courage and confidence go? [Cormier looks like he’s having second thoughts, but finally the worry turns into rage.] Richard Cormier:: You want Riptide versus Massacre…you got it! [The crowd erupts as a broad smile spreads across Dean’s face. Dean points a finger at Cormier.] Bryant Dean:: Cormier, I’ll see you this Saturday…at MegaBrawl! [Dean then aims his finger out into the crowd.] Bryant Dean:: And I’ll see all of you next Tuesday…on Massacre! [Dean drops his mic and heads to the back as the place goes crazy. Cormier, on the other hand, looks filled with emotions. He looks angry, annoyed, and worried all at the same time. Suhgs tries to comfort his boss, but it’s no use. Cormier and Suhgs exit the ring and head to the back.] |
 Standard Match: ”Mr. Showtime” Mikey Wryght vs. Haze |
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6'3" 253 lbs. All-Rounder 5/13/0 | | 6’3" 225 lbs. High Flyer 23/6/0 |
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Cliff Anderson:: Is Cormier out of his mind? He doesn’t stand a chance against Dean! Jack, this could be our last Riptide together. Jack Deruke:: I’m heartbroken. Can ya tell? [Showtime enters the ring first, and he receives a mixed reaction from the crowd. He tries to work the crowd in his favor, but despite this being S.W.F. country, a good portion of the audience is actually booing Wryght. Haze’s music hits, and he comes out to a mixed reaction as well. A lot of the fans are booing, but a good portion are actually cheering. Haze does his best to anger and infuriate the crowd, but this only makes the cheer harder, for some reason. Rather than enter the ring, Haze grabs a mic and addresses the crowd.] Haze:: Guys, cut it out. I’m trying to be a heel, here! [The fans burst into laughter and begin cheering even more as Haze enters the ring and the match begins.] Cliff Anderson:: This is certainly a strange turn of events. For some reason, these people are cheering for Haze, the evil senator, rather than Mr. Showtime… [Haze and Showtime go right at one another, not holding anything back. They trade stiff blows in the center of the ring, and the fans are behind every punch. Showtime begins staggering Haze with uncontested right hands. Showtime winds up for a haymaker and knocks Haze back into the ropes. Showtime goes for a running clothesline, but Haze backdrops him over the ropes. In a show of agility, Showtime lands on his feet on the ring apron. Showtime quickly runs over to the corner and scales the turnbuckles.] Cliff Anderson:: These two men have a rich history, both in the A.W.A. and the S.W.F. They had one of the greatest matches in recent memory at Back in Black, wrestling for an hour in a highly-competitive Iron Man match. [Arkham slowly strolls out from the back with his eyes locked on the ring. Showtime comes off the top with a double-axe handle, but Haze boots him in the gut. The senator goes for a vertical suplex, but Showtime slides down Haze’s back and plants him with the Spotlight! The fans are shocked as Showtime leaps up to his feet.] Cliff Anderson:: Showtime just hit the Spotlight out of nowhere! Haze is out cold! [Showtime notices Arkham at ringside and he aims a celebratory scream in his direction while pumping his fists into the air. As this is going on, Haze kips up to his feet, seemingly unharmed by the maneuver. The fans go crazy as Haze kicks Showtime in the back, then plants him with Democracy! Haze hops up onto the top turnbuckle, then splashes Showtime with the Capital Punishment. Haze hooks the leg as the referee makes the count. 1…2…3!] Cliff Anderson:: What resiliency by Haze! |
| Dissension? |
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[Arkham slides into the ring, and he and Haze immediately begin putting the boots to Showtime. Some fans boo while some fans cheer. Arkham pulls Showtime up off the mat and hooks him from behind as Haze bounces off the ropes and unleashes a spinning wheel kick. Showtime breaks free at the last second and Haze nails Arkham right in the chops. Showtime goes after Haze, but Haze hits an uppercut, followed by a massive clothesline that sends Showtime over the top rope to the outside!] Cliff Anderson:: Showtime hit the ground hard… [Arkham grabs Haze and spins him around angrily. Both men begin having words in the center of the ring as the crowd hopes for a fight to break out.] Cliff Anderson:: Arkham’s taking exception to that kick that Haze just inadvertently delivered. I think the Crimson Demon thinks Haze did it on purpose in response to his Navigator getting towed. [Haze attempts to explain that it was an accident, but Arkham shoves Haze hard in the chest. The fans come to their feet as Haze returns the shove. Both men come forehead-to-forehead trading words back and forth all the while.] Cliff Anderson:: It looks like there’s some dissension within the ranks of A.S.H. These two men meet in a ladder match at MegaBrawl for the S.W.F. Championship, and from the looks of things, it’s going to be anything but a friendly contest! That’s all the time we have for this week. Be sure to order MegaBrawl this Saturday on DirecTV! Goodnight everybody! |
