 |
| Location: | Arena: | Date: | Attendence: | Event Rating: |
| Ramsey Regional Activity Center | Cullowhee, North Carolina | 08/09/05 | 4,912 |  |
| Introduction |
Voiceover:: Riptide is being brought to you by Richard Cormier…a man who is paying for public access broadcasting in selected areas throughout Kentucky, North Carolina, Virginia, and West Virginia out of his own pocket. That being said, W.H.R.O. can kiss our ass! [The A.W.A. logo is replaced by the logo of the S.W.F.]  [“We Die Young” by Alice in Chains hammers the Ramsey Regional Activity Center pulling the crowd to its feet. A new opening video debuts on the A.W.A.-Tron to introduce Riptide. Random shots of A.W.A. superstars are shown, but only A.W.A. superstars. Clips of S.W.F. stars are nowhere to be found. As the video plays on the big screen Cliff Anderson and Jack Deruke make their way down to the announcer’s table at ringside. As the men slide on their headsets the camera pan the audience, picking out a few choice signs along the way.] A.S.H. blows goats...well, at least Arkham does, anyhow. North Carolina is S.W.F. Country! Bring back Nightbane! Cliff Anderson:: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Ramsey Regional Activity Center here in Cullowhee, North Carolina! Tonight is gonna be a huge night, that’s for sure. Every title is on the line with McCool defending his belt against the False Marquis to open the show. Jack Deruke:: What’d that silly little fruit loop do to get a title shot? Cliff Anderson:: Beats me. But in the main event, Donny J. McNasty will take on Kris Kartier for the Atlantic Championship, and the Nomad won a battle royal at Symphony of Destruction to earn his title shot. Jack Deruke:: Yeah, after drinkin’ about ten gallons of beer, both before and during the match. Cliff Anderson:: Glitz and Glamour will defend their Tag Team Titles against an unnamed team, and Brian Zane will defend his Television Championship against the one and only wrestling gynecologist, Dr. Payne. But I’m being told that Bryant Dean is on his way out here to get something off his chest… |
| It’s gonna be a Massacre. |
|
[There is a bit of a silence over the crowd at Riptide when suddenly
the first few strains of "F*ck It" by Seether begin playing over the
speakers. The crowd suddenly comes to its feet and all heads turn
toward the entrance way. The song skips the first verse in favor of
the second as Bryant Dean steps through the curtain, standing in the
entranceway and surveying the scene.] o/` I guess I like it when you smite me (the way you drag me down) o/` o/` 'Cause I can't face myself in a mirror (I'm left alone with all my pain) o/` o/` And I disgrace myself in the mirror (I'm left alone with my shame) o/` [Blue strobe lights begin flashing around the arena and Bryant makes his way to the ring as the song reaches it's more aggressive chorus.] o/` F*ck it - I feel you in me o/` o/` F*ck it - I'll heal you in me o/` [Bryant enters the ring and raises his arms in the air while the crowd cheers.] o/` It's all blown up - Don't even f{beep} with me o/` o/` I cannot please you all forever o/` o/` I cannot please you at all... o/` o/` (I can feel you coming up behind me) o/` o/` F*ck it - I see you in me o/` o/` F*ck it - I feel you in me o/` o/` F*ck it - I'll heal you in me o/` [As the song reaches its final crash ending, Dean raises a microphone to his mouth. He has to wait a minute as a loyal contingent of S.W.F. fans in the crowd begin to chant.] Crowd:: S.W.F.! S.W.F.! S.W.F.! [Finally, the chants die down enough for him to talk.] Bryant Dean:: I'm going to make this short and sweet for you all. First off, I think you've all noticed that least week's show didn't have much S.W.F. influence. And I hate to say this, but I don't think this week will be any better. [The S.W.F. fans begin to boo.] Bryant Dean:: The problem is, even though the S.W.F. became the A.W.A.'s equal at Symphony of Destruction, Richard Cormier doesn't like to give up any of his control. Well, I'm here to stop that. I'm here to announce that next week, Riptide has been cancelled. [The entire crowd boos his announcement.] Bryant Dean:: Hold up just a second. Riptide has been cancelled, but you're in for a treat. Next Tuesday, live from the Broadbent Arena, the S.W.F. presents...Massacre! [Most of the crowd cheers this, looking forward to the change in pace.] Bryant Dean:: And next week, I have rewards for the men that have helped me get this far. I will have to hold off on rewards for McNasty and Showtime because we have to see how they do tonight. They may already have matches depending on how well they do tonight. Don't worry guys, you will get your rewards, you can trust me on that. [The crowd begins cheering upon hearing the names of McNasty and Showtime.] Bryant Dean:: The first duo I would like to reward, though, is the Circus Folk! [The crowd begins to cheer for the Folk.] Bryant Dean:: Guys, I know I promised you a shot at the Tag Team Champions and I know Dick Cormier has been trying to get in the way. But next week, you get your shot at them! [The crowd continues cheering.] Bryant Dean:: That's right, next week, the Circus Folk face off with Glitz and Glamour... [The crowd is cheering so loud that his next line is nearly drowned out.] Bryant Dean:: ...in a non-title match! [These words kill any reaction the crowd was having, but Dean just keeps on talking.] Bryant Dean:: My next reward goes out to Griffin Youngblood. I know you may be booked next week if you win tonight, so your reward isn't a match against someone. Instead, it's a match you'll get to witness...Kris Kartier vs. Revilation! [The crowd seems surprised and most of them cheer.] Bryant Dean:: And there's a little stipulation. If they try to scam their way out of the match by one of them laying down, I give the referee the authority to stop the match and make it continue. As a matter of fact, I give the referee full authority in this match. And if either man lays a hand on the referee, HE'S FIRED! Hey, if Cormier can fire James Nightbane, I can fire one of these goons. [The crowd cheers over this announcement, but Dean isn't done just yet.] Bryant Dean:: Oh yeah...I almost forgot... The special guest referee for that match is...GRIFFIN YOUNGBLOOD!!! [The crowd goes crazy knowing that they're in for something interesting in that match next week.] Bryant Dean:: Now, I have a few more matches in mind for Massacre next week, but we’ll have to see how Riptide plays out tonight before I make any final decisions. [“All in the Suit that you Wear” by Stone Temple Pilots interrupts Dean and out storms the owner of the A.W.A. Judging by the red tinge to his face, he isn’t too happy.] Richard Cormier:: Dean, who the hell do you think you are?! What makes you think you can go around and book shows at the last minute? Bryant Dean:: Well, I am co-owner of this company, so I’d say I have as much authority as you do when it comes to decision making. Oh, and don’t worry about next week’s event. I’ve already cleared everything with Broadbent…we’re good to go. [The fans begin cheering again, and this only infuriates Cormier further.] Richard Cormier:: You know what, Dean, go ahead and play your stupid little games. You wanna host Riptide in Louisville again? Fine. You wanna call it Massacre? Hey, whatever blows your hair back. But mark my words, you little son of a bitch. When you fall…and it might be today. It might be tomorrow. Hell, it might even be six months from now. But when you do, I’m gonna be there to witness it personally. And rest assured, Mr. S.W.F., that my smiling face will be the last thing you ever lay eyes on! [Cormier drops the mic, causing it to ring out across the arena. Dean looks a little angered by Cormier’s intrusion, but he puts on a grin the best he can. He climbs out of the ring as the camera switches to a shot backstage.] |
| Very Angry Circus People |
|
[The camera catches up with Jingles and Clown and Jigsaw the Strongman standing in a hallway somewhere backstage. The fans begin cheering as the watch on the A.W.A.-Tron.] Jingles:: Big whoop! Massacre is back. Who cares? Do you care? [The strongman just shrugs.] Jigsaw:: At least we got a match against the Tag Champs. Jingles:: Yeah, a NON-title match. That’s a slap in the face! After helping Dean and the S.W.F., this is the thanks we get? He can’t get us a title shot, but somehow, these “mystery men” get a title shot? Jigsaw:: Whoa. Calm down. Jingles:: I ain’t gonna calm down, I’m gonna do somethin’ about it! C’mon, let’s get outta here. [Jingles storms off, motioning for Jigsaw to follow. The two walk out of camera view and the shot returns to ringside.] |
| Standard Match: Josh McCool vs. The False Marquis | Heavyweight Championship |
 |
 6'9" 287 lbs. Powerhouse 26/0/0 |  |  6’2" 268 lbs. Brawler 1/4/0 |
|
Cliff Anderson:: I still can’t believe it. Massacre returns next Tuesday! Jack Deruke:: Yeah, and speakin’ of massacres, let’s get to this next match, butt-nut. [McCool’s music hits, and the undefeated Heavyweight Champion bounds out from the back. The crowd goes crazy as McCool stomps down to the ring, making a small detour towards a lady in the front row. He gives her a giant hug before rolling into the ring to await the arrival of the False Marquis.] Cliff Anderson:: That’s Josh McCool’s mother…Mrs. McCool. She’s come all this way just to watch her son defend his Heavyweight Championship. [The imposter’s music plays over the speakers and the fans boo ever so slightly. The False Marquis sprints out from the back and dives into the ring. McCool is waiting and nearly decapitates the fraud with the Facelift immediately after he enters the ring. The referee calls for the bell as McCool drops to a knee and places a finger in the center of the phony’s chest. The referee makes the count. Three seconds later and McCool walks out of what may have been the shortest Heavyweight Title defense in recent memory with his gold still intact.] Cliff Anderson:: Well, that wasn’t quite quick and painless, but it was quick. [McCool hoists his belt into the air for all to see before exiting the ring as his music blares over the speakers again. He gives his mother one last hug before heading to the back.] |
| Payneful Preparations |
|
[The camera catches up to Dr. Payne and his partner, Allen Stevenson, in their locker room. Payne is sweating profusely as he works his hand out vigorously by repeated squeezing a stiff rubber ball. Suddenly, Payne drops the ball to the ground and lets out a scream as one of his fingers involuntarily curls inward. Stevenson looks up from his calculations as Payne continues screaming.] Dr. Payne:: Ah! Cramp! Oh, how it hurts! Allen Stevenson:: Are you sure it’s such a good idea to work out your claw hand this close to your match? Dr. Payne:: Ooh…there it goes. Sorry about that. And to answer your question, YES! It’s a ritual. I have to make sure that I’ve got the blood flowing through these mighty fingers so that they’re ready to clamp down on a moment’s notice! But you, Mr. Stevenson, need to take a break from your book keeping, or you’re never going to heal. Once time down in Mexico, I had a sassy little senorita overwork herself right into a horrible case of genital Herpes, and that’s no lie. Allen Stevenson:: What? That’s absurd! Dr. Payne:: Hey, you don’t need to tell me. I am a gynecologist… [Payne stops and glances into the camera as the fans begin to cheer.] Dr. Payne:: A WRESTLING GYNECOLOGIST! [The fans let out their roar of approval as Payne looks back towards Stevenson.] Dr. Payne:: Seriously, though, you need to take it easy. But, things are looking up. Brian Zane promised that if I win the Television Title from him tonight, he’ll give me his little black book! Allen Stevenson:: Oh! Think of all the new clientele! Business will go through the roof! Dr. Payne:: I know! And I’ve got a few new toys I’ve been meaning to use… [Payne gazes off into space and Stevenson returns to his fierce calculations as the camera returns to the ring.] |
| Standard Match: Machine vs. 40 oz |
|
 7'5" 432 lbs. Powerhouse 6/14/0 | |  6’6” 240 lbs. Powerhouse 1/7/2 |
|
Cliff Anderson:: It looks like Payne is ready for Brian Zane tonight, but right now 40 oz has the daunting task of taking on Machine… Jack Deruke:: Just out of curiosity, what brand is 40 oz? I think somebody scraped the label off… [Machine makes his way out to the ring to the cheers of the crowd as 40 oz waits patiently in the ring. Machine steps into the ring over the top rope and the referee calls for the bell. 40 oz charges him, but Machine boots him in the face. 40 oz falls to the mat, but Machine pulls him up off the mat by the throat and plants him with the Goozle. 40 oz is out cold, but Machine isn’t finished yet. The Giant German peels Mr. Ounce up from the canvas and nearly breaks his back with the Jacknife Powerbomb. Machine drops down and covers him. 1…2…3!] Cliff Anderson:: Machine obliviated 40 oz! No questions asked. [Machine slowly leaves the ring to the cheers of the crowd. The camera cuts to the backstage area.] |
| McNasty Little Admirer |
|
[The fans begin cheering as the Nomad, King of Hardcore, and resident drunk, Donny J. McNasty walks into view. As he enters his locker room, he immediately notices a giant, red heart sitting in the middle of the bench. McNasty cautiously opens the heart to reveal several individually wrapped chocolates, as well as a small note. McNasty pops one of the tasty morsels into his mouth before reading the note aloud.] Donny J. McNasty:: I was thinking of asking you to come and visit me next week, but I’ve decided against it. Instead, I’m going to come and see you. Next Tuesday, you’re going to find out who your secret admirer is. Good luck tonight, and I hope you enjoy the chocolates you sexy little devil. [McNasty turns the paper over looking for more but finds nothing. McNasty is clearly pondering the identity of his secret admirer as the paper slides from his hand and flutters to the ground at his feet. McNasty indulges in another chocolate as the camera returns to ringside.] Donny J. McNasty:: Mmmmm...chocolates… |
| Standard Match: Fifteen Minute Time Limit: Brian Zane vs. Dr. Payne | Television Championship |
|
 6'2" 225 lbs. Grappler 10/4/2 | | 6’4" 250 lbs. Grappler 5/4/0 |
|
[The fans are cheering as Payne is already halfway to the ring. He enters the ring and places his black bag in the corner, then waits for the Television Champion to appear.] Cliff Anderson:: This should be a great match. Both of these men can get it done in the ring. [Zane’s music plays over the speakers, and out walks the four-time Television Champion. The Perfect Prima Donna is greeted with boos on his way to the ring. He hands the belt over to referee Mitch Horton and the match begins. The champion and the good doctor go to the mat exchanging and countering one another’s moves. It looks like Zane is getting the better of the exchange as he traps Payne in a cross-arm breaker. Payne struggles to break free, but Zane won’t let up. After several minutes of fighting the pain, the good doctor is finally able to work his way over towards the ropes to break the hold. Both men make it back to their feet, but Payne’s left arm is noticeably bothering him.] Cliff Anderson:: Looks like Payne’s got an injured limb there… Jack Deruke:: That reminds me of this kid in summer camp we used to beat on. Mikey Rudamin. We used to put his leg in between two rocks and jump up and down on it, tryin’ to snap his leg… [Zane goes to work on Dr. Payne’s injured arm as time continues to trickle away. With about five minutes left in the match, Bobby Glamour, Johnny Glitz, Amber Crombie and Fitch make their way down to the ring. The fans begin booing the Tag Team Champions and their accomplices on the way down. Payne makes a comeback and levels Zane with a running clothesline…but then he notices the entourage at ringside and becomes sidetracked.] Cliff Anderson:: What’re they doing out here? They’ve got no business being out here! [With Payne distracted, Zane takes the opportunity to roll Payne up with a schoolboy from behind, propping his feet up on the middle rope for leverage. Horton is in position to make the count as Payne struggles to kick free. 1…2…kickout! Zane is stunned as the fans erupt!] Cliff Anderson:: He had the feet on the ropes, and he STILL couldn’t get it done! [The clock continues to wind down as Payne boots Zane in the gut and plants him with a belly-to-belly suplex. Payne makes the cover. 1…2…Glitz grabs Payne by the boot and pulls him off of Zane. Payne rolls out to the outside and drops Glitz with a big right hand, causing the crowd to erupt once more. Glamour tries to get involved, but Payne drills him with a running clothesline. Amber Crombie and Fitch run for cover as the place goes bananas. Payne slides back into the ring, but is met by a Brian Zane leg drop. Zane pulls Payne to his feet and piledrives him with only two minutes remaining. Zane goes for the cover. 1…2…Payne drapes his boot across the bottom rope.] Cliff Anderson:: Payne just won’t go away… [Amber Crombie hops up onto the ring apron to flaunt her assets in an attempt to give Zane the opportunity to pull off some illegal maneuvers, but it backfires. Payne seizes the moment and locks in the Vaginal Claw, much to the crowd’s delight! Zane prances around the ring as the crowd cheers Payne on. Suddenly, Zane stops and kicks Payne square in the groin. Payne collapses to the mat as Zane reaches into his trunks and produces a cup. The champ begins laughing as he tosses the cup aside and begins laying in heavy boots to Dr. Payne. The clock dips below the one-minute mark.] Cliff Anderson:: Zane’s outsmarted the good doctor, and he looks to have things well in hand at the moment. [Crombie drops down from the ring apron allowing Horton to return to duty. Zane hoists the gynecologist into the air and holds him there for several seconds before dropping him with a hanging vertical suplex. As the seconds melt away, Zane signals for the end and heads to the top rope.] Cliff Anderson:: We’re under fifteen seconds, and Zane’s going to the top to seal the deal. Could this be a new move that Zane’s added to his repertoire? [Payne stumbles to his feet as Zane waits perched on the top turnbuckle. The good doctor slowly turns, and as he does, Zane takes flight with a combination cross body block/suicide dive. However, Payne catches Zane in mid-flight and uses the champion’s momentum to spin him into a miraculous, yet crazy, powerslam. Payne quickly hooks the leg as the final seconds of the match tick away.] Cliff Anderson:: Is there enough time left?! [Horton slides to the mat and makes the count. 1…2…3! Bzzt! The crowd erupts!] Cliff Anderson:: Zane got the shoulder up, but it was a split second too late! We have a new Television Champion! Jack Deruke:: That slam was f*ckin’ crazy, there, sweet tits. [Payne rolls out of the ring and retrieves his title as Zane looks on in disbelief. Glitz and Glamour our obviously peeved, as is their manager, Amber Crombie. Fitch attempts to calm them down, but it’s of no consequence. Glitz and Glamour storm to the back with their entourage in tow as Payne celebrates at ringside.] |
| It totally backfired. |
|
[Reece Williams catches up to Glitz and Glamour backstage and shoves a microphone in front of them. Johnny and Bobby look irritated, but Amber Crombie looks downright infuriated.] Reece Williams:: I was wondering if I could get a few words with you gentlemen… Johnny Glitz:: Yeah, yeah. Just make it quick, okay? We’re totally not in a good mood right now. Reece Williams:: Not a problem. Tonight, you two are booked against a mystery duo, and you’re titles are on the line. Are you concerned at all? Bobby Glamour:: Honestly, Reece, it doesn’t matter who they throw at us. We’re the Tag Team Champions. Reece Williams:: Do you still consider the Professionals a threat? Johnny Glitz:: Pfft. As if! The Professionals are old news, sister. All the spotlight is on us. Reece Williams:: Old news? Dr. Payne sure didn’t look like old news out there tonight when he was knockin’ you two around. Bobby Glamour:: Hey, even a beached whale gets… [An infuriated Amber Crombie butts in.] Amber Crombie:: You know what, I’m tired of your skanky little smirk and your bitchy little mouth! [Amber Crombie throws herself at Reece and grabs her by the hair. Caught off-guard, Reece does her best to fight back. Crombie nearly rips Reece’s silk shirt off, exposing a red bra covering a pair of nice looking breasts in the process. Glitz and Glamour pull the wildcat off of Reece, but she tries to claw her way towards the female reporter. Reece covers herself up and runs out of view as Crombie continues shrieking inaudible insults in her direction. Bobby and Johnny drag Crombie away, but as they round the corner, Rosco Pico Train runs into them, spilling a delicious banana split all down the front of Bobby Glamour’s brand name dress shirt. Rosco begins apologizing, but it’s no use.] Bobby Glamour:: You effin’ idiot! This shirt is worth more than your life! Johnny Glitz:: I guess he didn’t learn his lesson last week. [Machine walks into view in the distance and watches from afar as Glitz and Glamour begin brutalizing the poor curtain jerker. Rosco pleads for help, but Machine just stands and watches with his head tilted to one side. Thirty seconds later and Rosco Pico Train has been beaten into the fetal position. Amber Crombie lays in a stomp to the groin for good measure before the foursome walks off laughing heartily. Machine continues to stare at Rosco’s motionless body as the shot switches over to a different part of the arena.] |
| Nyghtmare’s Nightmare |
|
Kris Kartier:: Sebastian’s supposed to be meeting me here tonight. Revilation:: He could be a star someday. Sebastian Kartier, following in the footsteps of his daddy… [The Insurance Policy have just reached their locker room somewhere in the recesses of the Ramsey Regional Activity Center. Kartier slowly turns the knob and opens the door. Both Kartier and Revilation take a step back in shock. In the middle of the room, crucified to the lockers, is the robed man. His wrists are wrapped in barbed wire…the only thing that seems to be holding the man’s limp body up. Kartier slowly approaches the man, expecting a trap. Souled Out grabs the robe and yanks it off of the man.] Cliff Anderson:: That’s Sebastian Kartier, and somebody’s beaten the holy hell out of him! [Kartier’s Atlantic Championship falls to the ground as he attempts to aid his son. Revilation just stands there, speechless.] Kris Kartier:: God dammit! Whoever did this is gonna pay! Revilation, check the room. See if that bastard’s still in here somewhere. [Revilation walks out of view as Kris begins unwrapping the barbed wire from around the wrists of his son. Sebastian’s face is a bloody mask of crimson and he isn’t moving. Moments later Revilation returns with a t-shirt in hand.] Revilation:: Nobody’s here, but I found this shirt draped over your gear… [Revilation holds the shirt up as Kartier lays Sebastian down on the floor. Kartier turns and gazes at the shirt for a second.] Kris Kartier:: Talks in the third person, walks in the first person, kicks your ass in person. What the hell is that supposed to mean? [Revilation just shrugs his shoulders before wadding the shirt up and throwing it into the waste basket.] Kris Kartier:: Great! That’s just what I need. One more psycho out for revenge. Revilation, help me get Sebastian out of here. We need to get him to a doctor. [Revilation grabs an arm as the Insurance Policy drags Sebastian’s bloody body out of the locker room. The door closes behind them as the camera focuses in on the wadded up shirt in the garbage. Suddenly, a tanned arm reaches into view and grabs the shirt, pulling it out of the garbage. The scene fades away as hysterical chuckling is heard.] |
| How to make a Bastardo snap… |
|
[The camera fades back in and we find Sheldon Grimes standing beside one half of the now defunct Super Bastardo Bros. Plaz doesn’t look to be in good spirits.] Sheldon Grimes:: Plaz, you’re not looking too hot. Having a rough night? Plaz Bastardo:: A rough night? Are you trying to be funny? You think that the Bastardos are a big joke? Is that it? Sheldon Grimes:: No, no, no. Nothing like that. I swear. You just looked a little down, that’s all. What’s botherin’ you? Plaz Bastardo:: Nothing! Nothing’s bothering me. I’ve just realized the way of things, that’s all… Sheldon Grimes:: The way of things? Would this have anything to do with Loki leav… [Upon hearing his brother’s name, Plaz snaps. He knocks the microphone out of Sheldon’s hand and grabs him by the shirt. Sheldon attempts to apologize, but Plaz’s ears are too full of rage to hear his pleas. Plaz slams Sheldon into the wall over and over and over until finally, Mr. Grimes is no longer moving. Plaz let’s the limp body fall to the ground, then calmly bends down and picks up the microphone.] Plaz Bastardo:: No more Mr. Nice Bastardo… [Plaz drops the microphone onto the beaten reporter, then strolls out of view.] |
| Tag Team Match: Glitz and Glamour vs. Mystery Opponents | Tag Team Championships |
|
Johnny Glitz  Bobby Glamour 461 lbs. 2/0/0 | | Mystery Opponent Mystery Opponent ??? lbs. ??/??/?? |
|
[Glitz and Glamour are already in the ring posing for the fans as Amber Crombie and Fitch cheer them from the outside of the ring. The fans and the Tag Team Champions are both awaiting the arrival of the mystery tag team.] Cliff Anderson:: Man, this night is turning into total mayhem! Jack Deruke:: Yes it is, ya little fruitcake! [Suddenly, familiar music hits, and out runs the mystery tag team. The crowd goes nuts as the two men sprint down the aisle and slide into the ring.] Cliff Anderson:: Whoa! Speaking of mayhem, here are Glitz and Glamour’s mystery opponents…Project Mayham! [Max and Marty Mayham immediately go after the champs as Jimmy Jack Paige calls for the bell. The crowd is still cheering as the Mayham brothers clear the ring. Bobby and Johnny regroup with their entourage on the outside of the ring as Project Mayham plays to the crowd.] Cliff Anderson:: Max and Marty were Tag Team Champions in the S.W.F. a few years back. Now they’re looking to regain some of that glory. [Finally, order is restored. Marty and Johnny start the match off. Glitz and Glamour show solid teamwork with quick tags as Project Mayham struggles to keep up. However, the Tag Team Champions are just too much for the former S.W.F. Tag Team Champions. Max Mayham tags in late in the match, but Glitz and Glamour have too much momentum. Max falls prey to the Coming Attraction, and it’s all academic from there. A three-count later and Glitz and Glamour have successfully retained their Tag Team Championships.] Cliff Anderson:: A valiant effort by Project Mayham, but Glitz and Glamour were on top of their game here tonight. |
| Mr. Match Maker |
|
[The A.W.A.-Tron comes to life with a shot of S.W.F. owner Bryant Dean sitting in an office somewhere backstage. He’s wraps up his phone call, then addresses the camera.] Bryant Dean:: After seeing some of the nonsense that’s been taking place tonight, I’ve decided to add a few more matches to Massacre next week. Seeing as how Amber Crombie likes to assault staff members, I’ve decided to make a little match between Amber Crombie and Reece Williams… [The crowd begins to buzz over this announcement.] Bryant Dean:: So next week, it’ll be Amber Crombie…versus Reece Williams…in a bra and panties match next week on the Doctor’s Office! [The crowd erupts at this news, but Bryant isn’t done yet…] Bryant Dean:: And…seeing as how the loser will be wearing next to nothing already, the loser will receive a free examination courtesy the experienced hands of Dr. Payne! [The crowd’s cheer is even louder than the last one.] Bryant Dean:: Hmmm…let’s see here. Machine, you’ve been watching Rosco Pico Train an awful lot lately. I don’t know if you love him or hate him, but next week, we’re gonna find out. Next week at Massacre, it’s gonna be Machine versus Rosco Pico Train in a hardcore match. [The announcement is met with a lukewarm reaction.] Bryant Dean:: One last match…let’s see here…how about Brian Zane, the ex-Television Champion, versus his arch-rival, Rich Verboncour… [Dean has the fans’ attention once again as they begin to cheer.] Bryant Dean:: …in a steel cage! And I’m not talking one of those crappy A.W.A. cages that falls into the crowd and injures fans, I’m talking an S.W.F. cage! Fifteen feet high! Solid steel! [The fans begin cheering the announcement of the cage match, but Dean has one last thing to announce.] Bryant Dean:: One last thing. I’ve just received word that Showtime is having some car troubles and isn’t going to make it in time for tonight’s match. As a result, the Fatal Fourway will now be a Three-Way Dance for a shot at the Heavyweight Champion! [The crowd lets out a mild cheer as the camera returns to the ring for the next match.] |
| #1 Contender for the Heavyweight Championship: Three-Way Dance: Griffin Youngblood vs. Revilation vs. Rich Verboncour |
|
6'4" 258 lbs. Mat Technician 4/4/1 | | 6'2" 260 lbs. Extremist 7/12/0 | |  6'3" 245 lbs. Submission Grappler 5/5/1 |
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[Rich Verboncour is already in the ring with his crazy father knocking on his Army helmet at ringside.] Cliff Anderson:: Well, we’ve got a change here in tonight’s card. Showtime couldn’t make it, so this will now be a Three-Way Dance. The rules are simple. Three men enter. Elimination rules. Once the first man is eliminated, standard match rules will apply. The winner will go on to face Josh McCool for the Heavyweight Championship. [Revilation makes his way down to the ring accompanied by the Atlantic Champion, Kris Kartier. Kartier still looks a little spooked after the incident involving his son earlier, but he still carries his barbed wire Singapore cane with purpose. The fans boo Cormier’s Insurance Policy, but they’re preoccupied with other things to take much notice.] Jack Deruke:: Yesterday, I fell down the stairs and my shoe came off… Cliff Anderson:: What? [Nirvana plays over the speakers, and the fans immediately begin cheering. Griffin Youngblood hobbles out from the back on his bad knees and makes his way down to the ring. He enters the ring, and Horton calls for the bell.] Cliff Anderson:: As always, Youngblood’s knees will be an easy target. He’s had five operations between the two of them. I don’t know how that crazy bastard is even able to walk anymore… [Youngblood and Verboncour go straight for Revilation and they take turns pummeling him in the corner. Youngblood lays some vicious boots to Revilation in the corner, but Verboncour blindsides Griffin from behind! Revilation uses the time to recuperate as Verboncour sends Griffin into the ropes. The One Night Stand goes for a clothesline, but Griffin locks the arm, slips around behind, and takes Verboncour over with the Sweet Success! 1…2…Revilation breaks up the pin attempt with a boot to Griffin’s mid-section.] Cliff Anderson:: Verboncour can thank his lucky stars Revilation just saved him right there. [The fans begin booing as Revilation chokes Griffin blatantly in front of the referee. Verboncour slowly stands as the referee warns Revilation repeatedly about the illegal choke. Finally, Revilation puts his hands up and backs away…then boots Verboncour in the gut and plants him with the Sacrifyce! Revilation makes the cover. 1…2…3!] Cliff Anderson:: Rich Verboncour is outta here! Now it’s just a standard match between Revilation and Griffin Youngblood! [Revilation tosses Rich Verboncour out of the ring as Griffin regains his bearings on the far side. Revilation goes after Griffin, but Youngblood strikes first with a boot to the stomach, followed by a DDT. Youngblood goes for the cover. 1…2…kickout! Griffin continues the assault, but somehow, Revilation is knocked into the referee, and the official is down and out. Youngblood continues to work over Revilation, not noticing Kartier sneaking in from behind with his kendo stick in hand.] Cliff Anderson:: Kartier’s right behind Youngblood! Turn around, Griffin! [Griffin pulls Revilation to his feet, oblivious to Kartier’s presence. The Atlantic Champion raises the weapon above his head and brings it down hard onto the head of Revilation!] Cliff Anderson:: Griffin moved out of the way at the last second! How’d he know Kartier was there? [Kartier freezes as Revilation collapses to the mat. Griffin knocks Kartier through the ropes with a wild clothesline and the crowd goes nuts. Revilation is back up, but he’s out on his feet. He stumbles around the ring right into a boot from Youngblood, followed by the Technicality. Griffin makes the cover as the ref comes to and slowly makes the count. 1…..2…..3! Kartier bursts back into the ring just in time and cracks Griffin across the head with the Singapore cane, but it’s too late!] Jack Deruke:: The Griffster pulls it off, but now he’s getting’ beat like a raw egg by Kris Kartier. [Kartier wears out Griffin with the barbed wire Singapore cane, busting him wide open in the process. Leaving Griffin laying facedown in the ring, Kartier pulls Revilation out of the ring and the two escape through the crowd as McNasty runs out from the back with a steering wheel in hand to aid his S.W.F. mate.] |
| Are we up to the challenge? |
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[A medical crew helps Griffin to the back as “Ten Ton Hammer” by Machinehead starts up, signaling the arrival of A.S.H. Haze marches out first, followed immediately by the Phenom. Arkham walks out slowly, picking up the rear. The arena is filled with hate-filled boos as the unholy trio makes its way to the ring. Sadistic and Haze have evil grins on their faces, and Arkham appears emotionless as usual. The music cuts out when they enter the ring, and Haze is handed a microphone.] Haze:: It sure is a shame Mr. Showtime couldn’t make it here tonight… [Sadistic and Haze begin giggling, but the crowd doesn’t find the comment funny in the slightest.] Haze:: It’s called a car. Learn how to operate one. [Haze passes the microphone over to Sadistic.] Billy Sadistic:: Man, I really don’t know if I’ve prepared enough for tonight’s match. I mean, granted, it’ll now be a three-on-two match seeing as how poor little Rosco got his poor little ass handed to him by the Tag Team Champs…but still. Willis Clayton’s a physical specimen, and Grendel is a monster! I don’t want that manbeast getting those giant sausage-fingers on me… Haze:: I can sympathize with you, I really can. I mean, I heard that Grendel once lifted an Oldsmobile above his head and crushed a man with it! Billy Sadistic:: No! Is that true? Haze:: One hundred percent. Billy Sadistic:: I don’t know about this, Arkdrake. I think we might be way in over our heads, here. What do you think? Arkham:: Are you serious? We’re gonna kill them… Billy Sadistic:: Well, at least one of us is confident. But enough about Willis Clayton and Crouton. That’s not the reason we’re out here. I’m sure you’re all wondering what happened to poor Jolly Roger last week after Riptide went off the air, aren’t you? Well, we’re gonna show you…but just let me say that everything you witness on this video he had coming to him. [A.S.H. turn their attention to the A.W.A.-Tron and it flickers to life. It is a shot of an undisclosed lake somewhere out in the middle of nowhere. The black Lincoln Navigator that A.S.H. used last week to abduct Jolly Roger last week slowly coasts into view. It stops at the edge of the lake and the brake lights come on. Three doors open, and out step Sadistic, Haze, and Arkham. They all walk around to the trunk, where Jolly Roger is being held captive. The three men all place their hands on the back hatch and ready themselves.] Haze:: Okay, on three. Ready? One…two…three! [Suddenly, they pop the back hatch open, and Jolly Roger crawls out.] Billy Sadistic:: Surprise! Jolly Roger:: Arrgh! What in the hell be the name o’ this?! Haze:: Sorry, we would have let you ride up front, but it was full of our camping supplies. Billy Sadistic:: Yeah, and it would have ruined the surprise. Jolly Roger:: I was ready fer yo ta do yer worst! Aye! Billy Sadistic:: No, silly! We’re going camping. Look, Arkdrake’s already got the fire going… [The camera pans over to Arkham, who is holding a five gallon gas can in each hand. Sure enough, there is a healthy blaze going. Arkham begins pouring fuel everywhere as Haze, Sadistic, and Jolly Roger watch on. Arkham continues pouring gasoline here and there, and eventually, the blaze begins growing out of control. The underbrush catches ablaze, and the fire begins spreading rapidly.] Haze:: Call the fire department! This one’s outta control! [Haze and Sadistic shove Jolly Roger back in the trunk and slam the hatch shut, then drag Arkham away from his flaming good time and push him into the Navigator. Haze and Sadistic hop in as the Navigator peels out in an attempt to get away from the roaring blaze. The video feed cuts out and we find Arkham, Sadistic, and Haze all standing in the ring with grins on their faces.] Billy Sadistic:: So without further adieu, we’d like to introduce to you our new manager…come on out here! [“Ten Ton Hammer” by Machine Head hits again, and this time Jolly Roger hobbles out. He begins walking down to the ring, but he’s nailed from behind by Willis Clayton as he and Grendel run out from the back. Roger falls in a heap as Clayton and Grendel slide into the ring. The crowd is going insane!] |
| Six-on-Two Handicap Match: A.S.H. vs. Willis Clayton & Grendel |
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Arkham  Billy Sadistic Haze 673 lbs. 0/0/0 | | Willis Clayton  Grendel 562 lbs. 1/3/0 |
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Cliff Anderson:: Clayton and Grendel have hit the ring, and the crowd is going crazy! [Sadistic and Haze feign fear, but they’re all over Clayton and Grendel as soon as they enter the ring. Arkham and Haze begin wailing all over Grendel’s body as Sadistic singles out Clayton. The referee tries to regain order and eventually does so when Arkham and Haze throw Grendel to the outside and continue the assault at ringside. Sadistic works over Clayton in the middle of the ring for a short while before planting him with the Sadistic DDT! The crowd hisses, but Sadistic doesn’t go for the cover. Instead, he waits for Haze to mount the turnbuckle and come off with Capital Punishment. Arkham plants Grendel with the Gale Force Advisory from the ring apron sending Grendel head-first into the arena floor!] Cliff Anderson:: Arkham may have just broken Grendel’s neck! Probably not, but maybe… [Haze makes the cover on Clayton in the ring and the ref makes the count. 1…2…3! The crowd boos instantly, but Sadistic and Haze act like they’ve just won the lottery!] |
| Another Abduction |
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[But rather than walk away with the win, Sadistic and Haze decide that they wanna give Clayton a little more. Suddenly, “Hair of the Dog” by Nazareth hits and the crowd goes banana! McCool sprints out from the back still in his wrestling gear and dives into the ring. Sadistic goes for him, but McCool nearly breaks the Phenom in two with a jolting spear. The crowd erupts as McCool begins pummeling Sadistic. Haze slows McCool down with a boot to the back of the head. Moments later, Arkham is in the ring and a two-on-one assault ensues. Arkham and Haze beat the hell out of McCool as Sadistic catches his breath in the corner.] Cliff Anderson:: McCool came out here to help out Clayton and Grendel, and now he’s getting the tar beaten out of him by Arkham and Haze! [Arkham and Haze whip McCool into the ropes, but he responds with a double-clothesline that knocks both men off their feet! Again, the crowd goes banana! McCool goes straight for Sadistic, but Sadistic quickly bails out of the ring, causing the fans to boo. McCool taunts Sadistic to get back in the ring, but the Phenom ignores the Son of a Bitch. The Phenom rounds the ring and suddenly stops as McCool watches on. Suddenly, Sadistic reaches into the crowd and grabs McCool’s mother by the hair, yanking her over the barricade!] Cliff Anderson:: My God, no! That’s McCool’s mother, and Sadistic is manhandling her! [The boos are deafening as McCool rushes towards the ropes. Arkham and Haze tackle McCool before he can exit the ring. Sadistic continues dragging McCool’s mother around by her hair, and she continues to scream. McCool crawls towards the edge of the ring as Sadistic drags her up the aisle, but Haze and Arkham continue to lay heavy boots into the Heavyweight Champion’s head. Arkham and Haze lay McCool out with a spike piledriver, then exit the ring to join Sadistic and Mrs. McCool. A.S.H. drags McCool’s mother to the backstage area and continues on until they reach the parking garage. Jolly Roger hobbles after them as they arrive at the black Lincoln Navigator.] Cliff Anderson:: What in the hell are they going to do with Josh McCool’s mother?! [Arkham pops the back hatch open, and Sadistic roughly shoves Mrs. McCool into the back. Haze slams the trunk shut then rounds the Lincoln Navigator heading for the driver’s seat as Sadistic and Arkham head to the other side. Before Haze can reach the driver’s seat, he’s ambushed by an unknown man. The man lifts Haze into the air and drops him on the concrete with the Plazplex!] Cliff Anderson:: That’s Plaz! That’s Plaz Bastardo! And he’s just taken out Haze on the concrete! [Jolly Roger rounds the vehicle and spots Haze on the ground, then Plaz running off into the building. Jolly Roger begins slamming his hand on the side of the Navigator, causing Sadistic and Arkham to hop out of the vehicle. They round the vehicle and spot their fallen companion on the ground.] Billy Sadistic:: What happened? Jolly Roger:: Plaz Bastardo…argh… the bastard…he suplexed him on the deck! [Suddenly, the noise from the crowd begins to rise as McCool slowly stands and makes his way out of the arena. Arkham spots McCool running towards the vehicle and points him out to Sadistic. Sadistic and Arkham hurriedly load Haze into the Navigator, then hop in themselves as McCool reaches the vehicle. The Navigator hauls arse out of the lot, but not before McCool punches out the back window. McCool begins swearing as the Navigator disappears from view.] |
 Standard Match: Atlantic Championship Rules: Kris Kartier vs. Donny J. McNasty | Atlantic Championship |
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6'1" 236 lbs. Extremist 10/11/1 | |  6’2" 255 lbs. Brawler 5/2/1 |
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Cliff Anderson:: Well, fans, welcome back to ringside. It’s time for our main event, but I can’t believe what A.S.H. has just done. They’ve kidnapped Josh McCool’s mother! How disgusting is that? Jack Deruke:: Maybe they’re gonna go get her cremated. Maybe they wanna speed up the process a little bit. Maybe they’ll try to get Jolly Roger in there and burn him up too…for a group rate. [McNasty makes his way down to the ring with a beer in his hand as the crowd cheers. He enters the ring and continues guzzling his magical beverage. Kartier’s music hits and the fans begin booing. He walks out with the belt around his waist and a smirk on his face. Revilation is at his side. The Insurance Policy makes their way down to the ring and Kartier enters the ring. The Nomad is on him before the bell even sounds, and the fans are already into the match in its early stages.] Cliff Anderson:: The first man to score two falls will be the Atlantic Champion. Kartier is the longest reigning Atlantic Champion in recent memory, but McNasty is lookin’ to make history here tonight. [McNasty and Kartier go at it tooth and nail in the early stages of the bout, but McNasty seems to be getting the better of the champion. Kartier goes for the Karta-Hajime early on in the match, but he can’t get it fully hooked in. McNasty fights free and whips Kartier towards the ropes. Kartier reverses and sends McNasty to the ropes. Revilation is waiting on the outside to hook McNasty’s boot, but McNasty beats him to the punch and hits a baseball slide dropkick that knocks Revilation into the guardrail. The fans begin cheering as McNasty climbs to his feet and offers some choice words to Revilation accompanied by a middle finger or two. McNasty turns around right into a big boot from Kartier, followed by the Last Serenade! The fans boo as Kartier covers him and hooks the leg. 1…2…3!] Cliff Anderson:: Well, Revilation didn’t necessarily interfere, but his presence has certainly had an impact on this match already. [Kartier continues to assault McNasty and finally locks in the Karta-Hajime. The fans try to rally behind McNasty, but the King of Hardcore begins fading. The fans continue to cheer for the Nomad, and he receives a sudden burst of energy, driving Kartier back into the corner. He drives him into the corner again and again until Kartier breaks the hold. McNasty stumbles out into the middle of the ring. The Atlantic Champion charges out of the corner at McNasty, but the Nomad catches him with the Final Destination! The referee makes the count. 1…2…3! The crowd erupts!] Cliff Anderson:: McNasty just tied it up. We’re tied at one apiece! The next fall wins the match! [McNasty and Kartier are both winded, but the two hardcore warriors duke it out in the center of the ring. McNasty winds up and swings with all his might, but Kartier ducks. McNasty’s momentum spins him around and allows Kartier to lock in the Karta-Hajime! McNasty fights valiantly at first as the fans get behind him, but he’s too weak. McNasty drops to a knee as Souled Out continues to wrench on McNasty’s neck. McNasty, in a last ditch effort, lunges towards the ropes and barrels his right should down and away from Kartier. Kartier is lifted off his feet and hurled over the top rope! The crowd comes to its feet as Kartier eats the arena floor!] Cliff Anderson:: McNasty has just broken the Karta-Hajime, and Kartier is hurting in a bad way on the outside! [The referee suddenly calls for the bell. McNasty questions him as the crowd watches on. Timothy Cormier gets on the mic to address the situation.] Timothy Cormier:: The winner of this match, two falls to one, as a result of an over-the-top-rope disqualification…and STILL Atlantic Champion…”Souled Out” Kris Kartier! [The fans begin booing and the Nomad is beside himself in the ring. The referee tries to reason with McNasty, but the irate Irishman levels him with the Queen Killer! The crowd goes crazy! In the blink of an eye, Kartier and Revilation are back in the ring. McNasty holds them both off with fists of fury, but he’s too busy to see the Mad Marquis sneaking into the ring behind him…] |
| Even the odds. |
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Cliff Anderson:: It’s the Mad Marquis! McNasty and the Marquis hate each other! God, I still can’t get over his face… [The Mad Marquis hammers McNasty from behind, and the three-on-one assault begins as the fans begin pelting the ring with empty cups and the like. “Come as You Are” by Nirvana hits, and Griffin runs out sporting a blood-soaked bandage on his forehead. The crowd erupts as he slides into the ring and nearly beheads Kartier with a running lariat!] Cliff Anderson:: The cavalry is here! [Revilation hammers Griffin from behind, then shoves him into the corner and begins choking him. Griffin kicks Revilation in the groin, then shoves him out of the ring. The Mad Marquis climbs on top of McNasty and begins rubbing himself all over the Nomad as Griffin and Kartier go at it toe to toe. McNasty suddenly reaches up and grabs the Marquis by the throat as the fans roar their approval. McNasty slowly stands, then begins hammering the Marquis relentlessly. The madman quickly drops to the mat and rolls out of the ring as McNasty reaches over the top rope for him. Kartier hits a dropkick to Griffin’s bad knee, then bails out of the ring as McNasty come for him. The Insurance Policy and the Mad Marquis backpeddle away from the ring as Griffin slowly stands, trying to shake the pain out of his knee.] Cliff Anderson:: The unlikely duo of McNasty and Youngblood standing tall in the ring...and that’s all the time we have tonight. We’ll see you next week at Massacre! [Griffin slowly backs up, still trying to shake the cobwebs loose. He inadvertently bumps into McNasty, and the two men spin around. They stare one another in the eye and the hate between the two is unmistakable. Fade to black.] |
