Alex lay on his side in bed the next morning watching Kevin sleep. After their talk in the bathroom, they'd made their way to Alex's bed and sat and talked about what had almost happened with Sara. Kevin had been honest and told him that it bothered him a lot that Alex would have even thought about doing something like that, even though it had been while he was high, but that if Sara could forgive him, then it wasn't his place to judge Alex on it. Alex had been relieved to say the least.

Alex sighed, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling wishing he felt better about everything. On the one hand, he felt like the proverbial weight had been lifted from his shoulders because he'd come clean with Kevin about the drugs and what had happened with Sara, but on the other hand, a new weight had settled in it's place. A weight by the name of Kristin.

Kevin never had told him about running into her at the party. Alex told himself that the reason for that could be that he just didn't consider it important, that Kristin didn't mean anything to him anymore, so he hadn't thought twice about it, but he knew that wasn't true. He knew by the way Kevin and Kristin had been staring at each other on that dance floor, and by the way they had been talking intently in that out of the way corner afterwards.

Alex wished he could reach inside Kevin's mind and pull out the information he wanted. He needed to know if Kevin still had feelings for Kristin or not. He'd almost come straight out and asked him several times last night but stopped himself. Like Kevin had with him and the drugs, Alex wanted him to come forward on his own and tell him about it, so he'd kept his mouth shut.

Then there was the fact that they hadn't even made love last night. That was the first time since they'd gotten together that that had happened. Logically, he knew they weren't going to make love every single night of their life together and it had been nice just stripping down and crawling under the covers and being held by Kevin and holding him too. He'd felt safe and loved. On the other hand, the insecure side of him worried that nothing had happened beyond holding each other because Kristin was on Kevin's mind.

Alex started at the unexpected feeling of Kevin's lips pressed against his bare shoulder. Alex pulled himself free from his thoughts and turned his head to look at Kevin.

"Morning, baby." Kevin said with a smile on his face.

Alex smiled back, his insecurities momentarily forgotten. "Morning."

Kevin reached out and circled Alex's waist with his arm. "Come here."

Alex complied willingly, turning back on his side to face Kevin and wrapping his arms around him as their lips met for a long, tender kiss. It was moments like this Alex lived for and tried to focus on when his head started playing games with him, telling him it wouldn't last, that Kevin would wake up one day and realize the mistake he'd made and go back to Kristin, or worse, move on to someone new.

Kevin pulled his mouth from Alex's and trailed kisses across his cheek, along his jaw line and down his neck. "Alex, I need you so much right now."

Alex moaned as Kevin sucked on a sensitive area of his neck. "God, me too Kev."

Kevin pulled him closer, pressing their rapidly forming erections together as he reached down and squeezed Alex's ass. Alex shivered, sucking in a shaky breath then reaching out to push gently at Kevin's chest.

Kevin complied and soon was on his back, with Alex above him, settled between his legs. Alex braced himself on his hands for a moment, staring down into Kevin's eyes before lowering his mouth to his and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Slowly, Alex began moving against Kevin, their erections rubbing erotically against each other, the sweet friction it created making them both harder.

Alex pulled his mouth from Kevin's and kissed a path over his neck, across his shoulders and down his chest until he reached his already pebble hard nipples. Looking up and holding Kevin's gaze, he snaked out his tongue and licked at a bud, smiling at Kevin's sharp intake of breath. He did it again, this time lowering his mouth to suck at it lightly. Kevin reached up to thread his fingers through Alex's hair and Alex nibbled at his nipple gently, making Kevin moan. Alex moved on to Kevin's other nipple, repeating what he'd just done on that one, eliciting another moan from Kevin.

Alex trailed more kisses down further, across Kevin's stomach, towards his waiting cock, but at the last second, he bypassed his goal and scattered more kisses over his hips and upper thighs while Kevin moaned and writhed beneath him, begging him for more. Alex moved back up his thigh finally snaking out his tongue when he reached his balls and licked at them teasingly.

Kevin felt like he was going to explode before Alex even took him in his mouth with the way he was teasing him. When he felt Alex's tongue on his balls, he cried out in frustrated pleasure. "Alex…please…God…just suck me…"

Alex smirked at him. "Anything you say baby."

Kevin watched as Alex's mouth descended on him, opening wide to take him all in at once. Kevin sucked in a sharp breath and his hips jerked up off the bed as Alex's lips closed around his length, sucking him in fast and deep.

"Oh fuck…" Kevin moaned out as Alex slowly pulled his mouth off him, scraping his teeth lightly along his shaft.

Alex was getting a heady rush from how he was making Kevin loose control. Wanting to make the moment last, he let Kevin fall completely from his mouth and licked a line up the underside of his cock, following the vein from the base to the tip, then tracing the slit with the tip of his tongue. He was rewarded by more low moans and Kevin's hands clutching at his hair.

He felt Kevin's hands trying to urge him to take him all the way in again, but he wasn't ready to give him what he wanted quite yet, instead closing his lips around just the head of Kevin's hard cock and alternately nibbling and sucking on it until Kevin was thrashing around under him.

"Alex…oh fuck…please, baby...more…" Kevin begged, completely at Alex's mercy by that point.

Alex moaned around the head of Kevin's cock, getting turned on beyond belief by the control he had over Kevin at that moment. Relenting, he opened his mouth wider and sucked Kevin in.

"Oh shit…yes…that's it…fuck…" Kevin cried out, the feeling of Alex's hot wet mouth surrounding him and sucking him deeper driving him insane.

He was so close he could almost taste his orgasm. All he needed was just a little more. As if Alex sensed what he was thinking, he relaxed his jaw further and took him deeper. Kevin felt the head of his cock hit the back of Alex's throat and groaned at the feeling of Alex deep throating him. His fingers tightened in Alex's short hair and he started thrusting up into his mouth, desperate now for his release.

He heard and felt Alex moan around his cock and looked down to see him. What he saw was what sent him over the edge. Alex's eyes were closed and a look of pleasure was on his face as he let him fuck his mouth as hard and fast as he wanted. Kevin had never seen anything so beautiful. Without any warning, he came long and hard down Alex's throat, crying out his name.

Alex was in heaven pleasuring Kevin that way, so completely in control of him and yet controlled by him at the same time. He had no words for it. It was just about the next best thing to an orgasm. When Kevin came down his throat, he swallowed every drop, continuing to suck on him until he'd gotten everything Kevin had to give. Finally, as Kevin's hands fell from his hair, Alex released his softening cock from his mouth and opened his eyes to look at his lover.

Kevin lay with his eyes closed, motionless except for the heavy rising and falling of his chest as he fought to get his breathing back under control, a look of complete bliss on his face. Alex rose above him, bracing himself on either side of Kevin's shoulders as he leaned down for a kiss.

Kevin's eyes fluttered open as he felt Alex's lips brush against his. The look of love in Alex's eyes took his breath away and he pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Opening his mouth, he allowed Alex's tongue inside and tasted himself there. Amazingly he started to harden again.

When their lips parted, Kevin said, "My God, Alex, that was the most amazing blow job I've ever gotten. It was just…shit…there's no words."

Alex got a smile a mile wide on his face as he settled in between Kevin's legs, his still hard cock pressing against Kevin's rehardening one. "Damn, keep saying things like that and I'll get a swelled head."

Kevin pressed his hips up into Alex's and smiled, "Feels like you already do."

Alex laughed and dropped his forehead to Kevin's, staring into his eyes. "I love you so much, you know that?"

Kevin smiled back up at him, loving how carefree Alex looked at that moment. "I love you too."

JC woke to find himself wrapped up in Nick's arms, Nick spooned behind him. He smiled to himself as he remembered the night before. They'd had sex several times before finally falling asleep. He still couldn't believe he was there, in Nick's arms and happy about it. If someone had told him he would be even as little as a week ago, he would have laughed in their face…either that or run screaming from the room. Now though, there was nowhere else he'd rather be.

Nick woke slowly to the feeling of a warm body in his arms. Opening his eyes, he smiled as he recognized the back of JC's head, his hair sticking out in all directions. He decided he really liked his hair and he liked even more how JC reacted when he grabbed a hold of his hair. Nick started to harden at the thought.

JC felt Nick's forming erection pressing into his ass and his smile broadened. Turning in Nick's arms, he looked into his eyes for a minute, then said, "Hi."

Nick chuckled. "Hi yourself. Sleep well?"

"Oh yeah. Better than I have in a while in fact."

Nick beamed. "Really?"

It was JC's turn to chuckle. "Yes, really."

They stared at each other in silence for a minute longer, both of them wondering where this thing between them was going, both wanting to find out, but both also a little scared of finding out.

Slowly they both leaned in for a kiss. Just when their lips were about to meet, they heard the ringing of a phone. JC groaned, recognizing the distinctive ring immediately as coming from his cell phone.

Cursing himself for leaving it on, he shifted on the bed and leaned over the side, bracing himself against the floor with one hand as he used his other hand to dig through the pile of clothes scattered there for his cell. Finding it, he flipped it open and groaned again as he recognized Justin's number in the caller id.

"Fuck."

Nick scooted over, laying half on top of JC, his semi-hard erection pressed into one of JC's ass cheeks as he leaned over JC's shoulder to see who it was. Nick's face screwed up in irritation as he saw who it was too.

JC sat there for a second, listening to the phone ring again in his hand, debating whether to answer it or not. When he felt Nick's lips on the back of his neck, he decided on not and let the phone drop from his fingers even as it stopped ringing. Turning his head, he captured Nick's lips with his own and soon they were involved in a deep passionate kiss, still hanging off the side of the bed precariously.

The phone started ringing again, shattering the moment and Nick pulled away from JC's mouth, cursing under his breath. Picking up the phone, he looked at JC and asked, "Do you mind?"

JC smiled at him. The only thing he minded was that he couldn't be there to see the look on Justin's face when he heard Nick's voice answer his phone. "Be my guest."

Nick smiled wickedly and pressed the on button on the phone. Holding it up to his ear, he stared at JC as he said, "Hello?"

He paused as Justin sputtered a hello into his ear then asked who he was. Nick chuckled. "Why Justin, I'm hurt. You don't recognize my voice?"

JC fought back a giggle as he watched Nick's face screw up in mock shock.

A second later, Nick spoke again. "Oh so you do know who this is then. Good. Josh? He's right here."

JC watched him, waiting to see what he'd say next.

Nick paused again, listening to Justin's irritating voice as it rose a notch and he demanded to talk to JC. "Oh, you wanted to talk to him? Sorry, no can do. See my uh, boyfriend and I are sorta busy right now. You know how it is…naked…in a bed…things rising up that need to be taken care of and all. Anyway, I'm sure you understand, so I'll let you go. Talk to you later, Curly."

With that Nick pressed the off button, holding it down a few extra seconds to turn the phone completely off, then tossed it aside. Turning back to JC, he noted the silly grin on his face and asked, "What?"

"I'm your boyfriend?"

Nick's face reddened. He hadn't meant to say that, it had just sort of slipped out. He'd been irritated with Justin and had wanted to say something to piss the other man off. Plus, he just liked the sound of calling JC his boyfriend.

"Well, you know…I just…umm…well…"

JC reached out and put a finger to Nick's lips to quiet his stuttering. "It's ok, Nicky. I like the idea. I want to be your boyfriend."

Nick's eyes widened, and his face broke out into a huge smile. "Really?"

JC nodded. "Yeah, really."

They lay there for a moment staring at each other, still half hanging off the bed, one of each of their hands bracing themselves against the floor to keep from falling off. Suddenly, as if a switch had been flipped, their gazes turned from happy at the thought of being boyfriends, to heated with the thought of kissing their 'boyfriend'. Both of them leaned in at the same time, their lips meeting, their kiss quickly turning passionate, hungry. Without thinking, both of them lifted their hands from the floor at the same time, wanting to hold each other, and in the next instant, they found themselves falling to the floor amid piles of clothes, their legs slipping off last, tangled together.

Breaking the kiss, they both started laughing. After a couple minutes of laying in one of the many piles of clothes scattered around the room, their laugher calmed down a little and JC looked around them, taking in the massive disarray of the room for the first time. He hadn't really been paying attention the night before.

"I can see why the other guys call you Kaos."

Nick laughed and looked around. "Yeah, never been big on neatness, but this is actually an all time low for me even."

JC's eyebrow lifted. "Oh? Why?"

Nick blushed. "Well, I couldn't decide on what to where last night. I wanted to make a good impression on you, so I sorta tried on everything I own. Finally Bone came to the rescue and helped me pick out what I ended up in."

JC tried to ignore the twinge of fear hearing Alex's nickname put in his gut. Nick had told him last night before they fell asleep, while they'd been lying in each other's arms and talking that Alex didn't have a problem with him anymore, that he'd pretty much given them his blessing by telling Nick about their conversation in the bathroom yesterday. Josh was still having a hard time believing it though. Two years of being afraid of the other man was hard to just let go.

It got a little easier though as he pictured in his mind how Nick had looked the night before. Staring into Nick's blue eyes, he commented, "You looked hot."

Nick hardened as he watched heat flare in JC's eyes. "Fuck, Josh, so did you. Come here."

With that Nick's mouth closed over his. Wrapping his arms around Nick, JC lost himself in the kiss, all thoughts of Alex flying out of his head.

Alex and Kevin lay staring at each other for several long moments in a comfortable silence, Alex still on top of Kevin, the 'I love you's' they'd both just said still hanging in the air, wrapping around them like a protective blanket. Then without warning, Kevin flipped them both over and settled between Alex's legs. Without a word, he reached past him to the nightstand and grabbed the lube. When he settled back on his heels between Alex's legs, Alex started to lift his legs, getting ready for Kevin, but Kevin reached out and pushed his legs back down, shaking his head.

Alex looked up at him, confused, but stayed silent as he watched Kevin open the tube. When Kevin reached out his hand to prepare Alex's dick instead of his own, Alex sucked in a sharp breath, both at his touch and at the realization of what Kevin was going to do.

Kevin smiled at the heat in Alex's eyes as he stroked his hard cock with the lube. Licking his lips, he removed his hand and climbed up on Alex, a knee on either side of his waist, straddling him. He waited while Alex positioned himself, then sank down on him in one long, slow movement until Alex was buried completely inside him.

Alex lay completely still, his hands on Kevin's hips, his fingers digging in as he felt Kevin's walls close around him, hugging him tightly, trapping him in his warm tight heat. Alex pushed his head back into the bed and moaned loudly at the feeling.

Kevin's head fell back and he let out a long, shuddery breath as sensations washed over him. There was the initial jolt of pain of course, but that was lessening each time Alex fucked him. After that he was left with the complete fullness he loved when Alex was inside him this way.

After a moment, Kevin slowly lifted himself off Alex's dick, then, just as slowly, lowered himself onto it again, moaning on the way down. When Alex started to lift his upper body off the bed, wanting to kiss Kevin, Kevin leaned forward slightly and pushed him back down, holding him down while bracing himself with his hands on Alex's shoulders and leaning down for the kiss they both wanted desperately.

Alex eagerly kissed him back, sliding his tongue inside his lover's mouth as Kevin continued to ride his cock slowly. Alex moaned into Kevin's mouth as the teasing pace soon turned torturous. Judging by Kevin's answering moan, he was feeling the same way.

Kevin pulled his mouth away from Alex's a minute later and said, "Oh fuck, Alex, you feel so good inside me."

Alex groaned as he looked up at Kevin sitting astride him, still leaning forward slightly with his hands gripping Alex's shoulders. His long, nearly black hair was flowing over his shoulders, his naked chest heaving as his breathing quickened, his hard cock standing up prominently between them.

"Goddamn, Kev…you're so beautiful, baby. So fucking beautiful riding me like this."

Kevin moaned and shuddered at Alex's words, said in that raspy voice of his, which was a full octave lower than normal in his aroused state. Looking down and locking eyes with Alex, he started to speed up the pace, causing both of them to start panting as their release loomed ahead. Kevin's grip on Alex's shoulders tightened as they both got closer and the pace quickened.

Alex held Kevin's gaze as he tightened his hands on the older man's hips. Every time Kevin lifted himself off him now, Alex pushed his butt down into the bed and every time Kevin slid back down his throbbing length, Alex thrust up into him hard and fast, causing jolts of pleasure to shoot through the both of them.

Kevin licked his lips, which were suddenly dry from the heavy breathing he was doing, and moaned, "Shit…so close…"

Alex thrust up harder still. "That's it Kev…ride me harder baby…fuck yes…so good…"

Kevin groaned and he let go of one of Alex's shoulders, reaching between them to stroke his cock, needing his release. His other hand slipped from Alex's shoulder and fell to the bed just above it as he braced himself, speeding up the pace even more, riding Alex fast and hard.

"Oh fuck…Alexxxx!" Kevin cried out as he felt Alex thrust up into him again, hitting his prostate just right. That was all it took for Kevin to cum long and hard on his hand and Alex's stomach and chest.

Alex watched his lover climax on top of him, felt his hot cum hit his stomach and chest, and felt Kevin's ass clutch around him, spasming with his orgasm and he groaned out loud. A few more frantic thrusts and he fell over the edge too. Gripping Kevin's hips so tightly he knew he'd leave marks, Alex pressed his head back into the bed and thrust up one last time into Kevin, crying out his name as he came inside him.

Kevin continued to ride him until Alex relaxed in a sweaty, panting heap under him, then Kevin fell forward, sweating and panting himself as he lay on top of the younger man, his head resting in the crook of Alex's shoulder.

A minute later, Kevin started to pull off him and fall to the side, but Alex was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions. Swallowing a lump that was quickly forming in his throat, he reached up and wrapped his arms around Kevin, holding him tightly to him.

Kevin had been in the process of lifting himself off Alex, intending on settling in beside him on the bed when he suddenly found himself in a death grip. Lifting his head from the crook of Alex's neck where it had still been resting, he looked down into Alex's face and was surprised to say the least by the tears he saw forming at the corners of his eyes.

Shifting to a more comfortable position on top of him, Kevin stretched out, one leg between Alex's and braced himself with his elbows on the bed on either side of Alex's shoulders.

Reaching out, he cupped the side of Alex's face and asked, "What's wrong, baby?"

Alex opened his mouth to speak, but shut it again, swallowing hard one more time, then opened it again. "I just…I was so scared I was going to loose you last night. I'm so sorry. I can't believe I did something so stupid."

Kevin knew he was referring to the drugs. "I'm not gonna lie Alex. That really hurt. It scares me that you'd actually go that far, but you stopped yourself and that's what counts."

Alex wanted to believe him, but he still had doubts. Not about Kevin this time, about himself instead. "What if…what if you hadn't brought up that day in the hotel though, Kev? If you hadn't made me think about that, if I hadn't admitted what I'd almost done to Sara and seen that look of disbelief on your face, I…I would have used those drugs, Kevin. I know I would have."

Kevin reached up with his other hand then, cupping Alex's other cheek too, firmly holding his face in his hands as he stared intently down at him. "No. I don't believe that, Alex. If I had really thought you'd use those drugs, I would have confronted you about them the moment Cassy told me about you meeting with that dealer."

"But…"

Kevin shook his head and placed both his thumbs over Alex's lips as he continued to hold his face firmly in his hands. "No buts. Alex, I love you and I have faith in you, even if you don't have faith in yourself right now. I know all this is so hard for you. I see it in your eyes when things get stressful. I wish I could take it all away, but I can't. All I can do is ask you to please, please remember how much I love you, how strong our love for each other is, the next time you feel tempted. And for God's sake. If you're ever that bad off again, come to me. It doesn't matter where we are or what we're doing, whether we're in the middle of a concert, or out at a party, or even in a hotel room fighting with each other. You are more important to me than anything or anyone else. Just come to me and let me help you through it. Promise me."

Alex was too choked up to answer at first, so he let go of his death grip on Kevin and reached up to pull his head down to him instead.

As their lips came into contact, in the instant before they sank into a deep kiss, Alex stared up into his intense green eyes and whispered against his lips, "I promise."