How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise
your voice.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once
everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for
sexual favors."
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with
the prophecy."
Dont use any punctuation marks
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically
after they answer.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't
rhyme.
Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a
tape of jungle sounds all day.
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't
attend their party because you're not in the mood.
When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!",
"I won!" "3rd time this week!!!!!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the
parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're
loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner. "due to the
economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
