Tear your web away
Saw thru all your bars
Melt your cell today
You are caught in a prison
Of your own devise
Unhappy girl
Fly fast away
Don't miss your chance
to be free
Carey's Page :)
Once upon a time there was a strange little girl who loved ever second of life. She would run barefoot through the grass, chase butterflies and toads, and dance naked in the sun. Then the little girl started to grow up, and she started to see things she didn't like and she didn't understand. She saw so much pain and suffering in the world, so much hatred. She became very sad. So she would go out in the woods and at times her only friends were the trees, the streams, the butterflies, and the rabbits that she would sit out there for hours and talk to. She knew others might point fingers at her like she was crazy, but she didn't care, she did not want any part of the human world she saw around her. She wanted to stay in the woods forever. Nature spoke to her. She believed if you appreciated nature, connected to nature, then if you listened hard enough you will find all your answers. Then one day she realized she loved nature, this world, but she did not love human beings. Therefore, she found a part of her did not love herself. So she decided to walk a spiritual journey. In the beginning it came so easy, so fast. She had people around, walking with her, dancing with her, and she enjoyed every second of it. A few months passed on her journey, and it started to become very difficult. The ones she found so much happiness and love within she began to question. She was unaware she was walking into the dark night of her spiritual journey, and she felt completely alone. She didn't know where to turn. She couldn't go back to her old life, but she couldn't keep a hold of the happiness she had at the beginning of her journey with others. She profoundly became aware of the suffering of humanity and the cruelty of one person to another. She had people around her, but never in her life had she felt so alone. No one, not even her dearest friends could make her whole. She knew she couldn't give up, she couldn’t go backwards, so she knew she had to continue alone. She started to pick up the pieces and place them one by one around her. So she formed this cocoon around herself. Each piece was made up of a part of herself, of her soul, the good, the bad, all connected into one formed around her. So she waited, and waited, and waited. She waited for six long lonely months. She isolated herself, avoided all connections from her friends and family, because she knew she had to do this by herself. She was stuck inside unaware of how much she had been growing. Just when she thought she never was going to get out, a piece broke and a small light came in. She inhaled the air through the small crack of the cocoon, and she never felt anything like it before. She turned around and looked, and she had wings. She spread her wings and the rest of the walls came crashing down and she could fly. The peace moves through her body like a cold spring of mountain water. It flows in her spine, her brain, and under her skin. Everywhere. She found at the beginning happiness and love came so easy because she found it within others. And she had to suffer those lonely months, and she realized you have to find it inside yourself; you have to find the love and happiness within to truly be. She realized you can't rely on someone else to bring you hope, love, or happiness, because you will never truly be happy. Once you find it within and then share it, it's a whole other world. This strange little girl, she's still alive today, and the truth is, she still at times feels lonliness and pain, but there must be darkness to have light.
"She's not just a fantasy. She's got flaws. She's real."
I see a vision of a great rucksack revolution thousands or even millions of young Americans wandering around with rucksacks, going up to mountains to pray, making children laugh and old men glad, making young girls happy and old girls happier, all of 'em Zen Lunatics who go about writing poems that happen to appear in their heads for no reason and also by being kind and also by strange unexpected acts keep giving visions of eternal freedom to everybody and to all living creatures.
"I think people resist freedom because they're afraid of the unknown. But it's ironic....That unknown was once very well known. It's where are souls belong....The only solution is to confront them--confront yourself--with the greatest fear imaginable. Expose yourself to your deepest fear. After that, fear has no power, and fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free." Jim Morrison
There are so many different ways to be connected to people. There are the people you feel this unspoken connection to, even though there's not even a word for it. There's the people who you've known forever who know you in this way that other people can't because they've seen you change. They've let you change
Always Remember...Not All Those Who Wonder
Are Lost
Some words of advice, and just words, from myself, and others
"Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery; None but ourselves can free our minds."-Bob Marley
I have walked the path guided by my soul and found this hope, this love, this peace within myself, by myself. I would like invite you to walk with me,you stay on your path, I stay on mine, that's the only way we can remain free. I want to know you, I want you to see, I want to take ahold of what's underneath So close your eyes, unlock your mind Throw off the fear, take my hand and let us fly, It's the spirit in you, the music inside that I want to find
"I'm saying open up And let the rain come flooding in Wash out this tired notion That the best is yet to come But while you're dancing on the ground Don't think of when you're gone"-Dave
So speak kind to a stranger cause you'll never know it just might be an angel come knockin' at your door -Ben Harper
This empty room it fills my mind Freedom at least we can find Every single rope has cracked But in this life you can't turn back-Ben Harper
There is no secret to life, just live it
We came to get down
"Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself— and especially to feel. Or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to— letting a person be what he really is....Most people love you for who you pretend to be....To keep their love, you keep pretending— performing. You get to love your pretense....It's true, we're locked in an image, an act— and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image— they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains. They forget all about who they really are. And if you try to remind them, they hate you for it— they feel like you're trying to steal their most precious possession." -Jim Morrison
When going through the path of enlightenment at such a young age, it is a lonely, but amazing experience. You are like a thousand year old soul stuck in a teenagers body. Most people your age have no understanding of it yet. It usually takes someone until they are married, with kids, and a job to realize there is more out then what they have been told. Just hold on and don't worry about they people your age out there who turn their backs on you, and claim you to be crazy because they don't understand, because youre not like every other person who has walked this Earth. Those who do have some understanding, those who's minds are not closed, will stay beside you they whole way, because they will know that when you find the light you will be one of the most amazing creatures who have ever walked this earth. You are going to change this world, you are going to change others- A very dear friend, a dear teacher
I will go in this way And find my own way out I wont tell you to stay But I'm coming to much more Me All at once the ghosts come back Reeling in you now What if they came down crushing Remember when I used to play for all of the loneliness that nobody notice now I'm begging slow I'm coming here Only waiting I wanted to stay I wanted to play I wanted to love you
Sometimes someone says something really small, and it just fits right into this empty place in your heart.
Do not believe that falling in love will make you happy and end your loneliness. Each of us must find happiness, hope, balance and wholeness within ourselves first. Then we share this inner completion and happiness with the other.
"But if you still think about me Please listen to my prayer"
We are stardust, we are golden, We are billion year old carbon. And we got to get ourselves back to the garden...Got to get back to the land and set my soul free.
Midway in our life's journey I awoke To find myself alone in a dark wood. Who knows how I came that way
I believe Jesus Christ had great teachings, but I don't think he has anything to do with christianity of today.
And all the colors I am inside have not been invented yet
the questions have been answered, no fear of chance, the heart never so alive, the night is over, my friend, it's time to dance
To Dance with the dead, To swim with the Phish
"Crazy is all right"-Dave
Good/Evil…they only live within our minds. Everyday we find ways to struggle with the bad. What we see as evil. But the definition of evil is different in every single set of eyes you gave in upon. Demolishing the bad is an endless battle. If for one slight second we were to take away all which is evil it would take less than a second before we started to create a new evil. Evil would be created from that which we once thought was good. We need to feel the bad to know what the good feels like. We need to feel hate to feel love. We need the two to distinguish the feelings. If you were asked what the opposite of good is would you say bad, or love would you say hate? Good/bad, love/hate, death/birth… They are not opposites, they are the furthest thing from opposite…they are perfectly one. Without both, the other would not exist. Do not fear hate, don’t fear love…I could have told you that a month ago, I told myself that a month ago, but I didn’t understand then, like the way I do now. To be honest, I probably do not understand it to full understanding. I know I do not, each new day brings new understanding, and each meditation brings more insight. Let your soul search and wander forever, when you tell it to stop it will, but that only takes away from so much more beauty it can find…Be good my darling…
Some things are unexplainable, why we let go some things, and others we can’t. I left for a few days recently. It took me a few days afterwards to find what I needed to from the trip. I returned home, yet I was still gone. I wasn’t alone, but I went alone. Sometimes you have to get away to figure out where your soul wishes to go. When I returned I was somewhat bewildered, and I did not want to go home. I was actually doubtful where home was. It was a long drive. It gave me a long time to think, think about things I wish I did not have to. I didn’t have to, but I did. I locked a few things away for some time and didn’t think about them. Out of my mind, but not out of my heart. Things I wasn’t ready to let go of at the time so I hide them away. They say the past will come back to haunt you, that’s only if you don’t let go. And I didn’t. I didn’t realize I didn’t let go, but I saw. Holding on to those things and locking them away only prevented me from a greater happiness I could have had. I uprooted those things when I was gone, came home, and then pulled them out the rest of the way. You know, I do not regret any moment from my past; the past has made me who I am today. But those things I locked away, they did hold some form of regret. I see now, I was only looking upon them in the wrong way. Now because of my trip, and the time I spent with my mind and that I did not want to face, I let go. Holding on to that which one day you know you will have to let go of brings you nothing but pain. You have to let go to move forward. I was moving forward, but a lot slower than I should have. People come into to your life, people come and people leave, you love then you let go. That’s the way it goes, you always keep them in your heart, the goodness of them, and how they affected your life. But you let them go, why? So you can let yourself go. So you don’t pass up a greatness you can find with others. I let go, maybe to soon, maybe to late, but it doesn’t matter, all that matters is I let go. And now the sun is shining, and all the doors have been unlocked. I let go, so I could let others in....Fare Thee Well My Old Friend...
i use to look to you thinking you were what I wanted now I see what I wanted was myself and inside you I think I saw a piece of myself, and I still do, and that's why I craved you. you were something I couldnt grasp a hold of something out of my reach and that's why I desired you even more. Thats me, always wanting what I can't have. They always say you don't get what you want, you get what you need. But where is that line, who draws that line between what you want and what you need. Is it yourself, is it someone else? I can't tell you, but I can give you what I believe. I watch this earth, I watch others, always wanting something, always reaching out for something. I see so much, yet so little. Sometimes I think I have this whole world figured out, and then in a split second that's gone. I will always search for answers to questions that have no answers. I don't mind, that's what gives me my passion to live. Every day we learn something new, about ourself, about others. Each step we take, every new thing we learn, we take in and it defines the person we are even more. Who we are is all we have. I use to think I lost myself, that I had to search out to find myself, but I was wrong. I never lost myself, I was just afraid of myself. Afraid of my voice, afraid of my thoughts. I use to believe my mind was a curse. Now I see it is the greatest gift I could have ever received. And that's why I wish to share every thought that I have with you. I found so much beauty in myself that I did not see before. I use to watch others and see so much hatred so much pain. I built a wall in myself because I was afraid if I dug any deeper I was going to find that pain, that hatred. But that wall is gone now and I did find hatred and pain, but I also found love, I found bliss. If there was not pain then there would not be love. There is no right or wrong way to feel, you just do. There is no right or wrong way to be, you just are. Once you start trying to be something, you are lying to yourself, being just is. When walking your path, always stay on your own, don't struggle to try to get on someone elses because you will never be able to. But you can walk next you one another. Always be true to youself. You will feel pain, but that love you feel will be so unbelievable you will want to share it with everyone you meet. And as for me, I will keep walking, sometimes by myself, sometimes next to you, always one foot in front of another. And I am happy, my soul is at peace, and I would love nothing else but to share it with you. In my heart, I believe
Nothing is as alive As the passion I bear within Burning Torturing me to let it free I listen as it pleads All it asks Is for me to let you see All I have To offer you Are the stories my heart tells And I will share them With only you Listen silently as the wind Speaks so softly Carrying the music That I create for you My hand reaches to you All I ask Is for you to reach back In return I will give you my world We'll walk through it together
As a child, I never dreamed of my wedding day, I never dreamed of having my first child, I never dreamed of growing up, getting a job. I dreamed of fairies and gnomes, living in the woods with the butterflies and the unicorns, I was a naked child. We lived in a house down this gravel road by no one else. I would walk through the woods behind my home completley naked, and my soul was at peace. I walked a strange path. I had a mysterious and passionate longing to remain a child forever. And I misplaced that passion for awhile My soul had been searching for it since it was gone, as does yours. For years, my soul was going one way and I was walking the other, I was lost for such a long time...but within the past year I found my soul, and I reconnected, and together we found our childhood, our peace…and the other day I walked through the woods naked, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and I felt a sense of peace that I had not felt for years, and that peace is going to stay within me forever... I found my love, my peace, my God, my voice, my beliefs, my childhood, I found myself
have you ever believed you were going insane? pieces and fragments of yourself you keep placing together , but seem never to fit. Have you felt the way the coldness pierce your skin when you're not ready for it? Seen so far ahead of yourself but the only steps you seem to be able to take are the ones right in front of you? You look for the right place to go, but the only place you seem to turn is the wrong direction? Have you ever tried to give a person youre thoughts but they ran the other way? Has your mind ever thought thousands of words in one second, and your mouth could not move fast enough for all the words to come out, so when you tried to speak it came out all wrong, or not at all?
She's completely insane but in all the right ways when others walk she runs, and when you ask she will never tell you a lie all the secrets to this world are held inside that one body she has the ability to show this world colors no one could ever imagine she will take you to all the places you have dreamed of but at first she'll keep on running so fast you can not see within she'll take you with her until your tired and weak never letting you see whats behind those eyes then when you're about to fall she'll sneak upon you like the whipsering wind holding out her hand for you to come inviting you to see she will spread her wings carrying you upon her back when you walk away is when she'll let you in only a blind man could not see to reach for her hand she'll wait but not long
Human Beings amaze me at times. The emotion of jealousy is one that I find to be very foreign to me yet very clear in some ways. I walked out from work one night and there was a friend of mine sitting on the side walk crying. Of course I asked her what was wrong. The situation was her fiance's ex-fiance was trying her hardest to "get him back". For some reason I see this happening a lot. It's like being a child and you have this one shirt that you love but sooner or later you grow out of it so your younger sibling gets it and every time you see that person wearing it you see it and still think it as yours regardless that there is a reason that you gave it away. Now that I believe that was one of the worst examples I have ever used I will continue on to my point. One thing I should point out is I am good friends with the guy so I saw him in his previous relationship with the ex-fiance and now I see him in this current relationship. The relationshipr he was in with the first girl was not meant to be, I mean he did try his hardest to make it work but it just wasn't suppose to. The girl was jealous, if it is human nature or human ignorance you can decide that on your own, the couple that is now together is happy and the girl saw that happiness and became jealous. It's like deep down the person knows that the two of them are not together now because they are not supposed to be but for some reason she becomes blinded of the knowledge so she blieves that if she tears her old boyfriend and his new girlfriend and gets back together with him that she will have that same happiness and love that they have together. This is the part that upsets me that people do not understand that they can never have that happiness because it is a special bond between those two people and if you take one of the people away and try to replace that person it can never be even near the same. When a person sees what was once their's with someone else,happy, the pain and jealousy is instant and almost unberable. The stage of acceptance can be dreadful, for human beings can be very selfish and very blind at times. Letting go is something we aren't taught very well that's why it is so hard to accept. The guy never did even once think about leaving his new girlfriend and going back with his old. But the new girlfriend almost left him because of her. That is how I became involved, the guy came up to me begging me to talk to her, I told her what I just wrote down, the guy and the girl their happily married now.
let me show you what’s inside all the beauty I did find I will show you to be free, why I had to die let me show you my peace of mind every part that I once did hide through it all, I will let you fly lost together no more worries to cast aside I will open my heart and let you crawl in I will show you my love I will show you my sin I will show you every part of my soul we will dance together to the music within my hand reaches to you come and dance the night away set your soul free reach out to me in our dreams you and I are meant to be
sometimes i feel as though i do not belong on this earth at this time. Its as though the gods or god or whoever the higher beings might be made this terrible mistake and placed me on this earth at the wrong time maybe they are just watching...hoping that i don't break at this point of my life everywhere i turn i just feel as though i do not fit in. maybe it is my trust issues. There are some things that have happened in my life that i wish i could regret but i can't since the events that happened were not my fault. And those events, the ones which somewhat tramatized me yet made me stronger, are the things that stripped me of my trust. Have you ever tried your hardest to forget something and when you finally think you have it comes back when you least expect it. I have reasons i have trust issues... will those reasons stay locked away forever? i hope not...it will take a strong person to get me to let down my guard completely...the thing is when that person comes along will i let myself trust them, or will it be the wrong person i tend to trust the wrong people the people i have in the past they end up leaving or taking that trust for granted maybe that is partly my fault maybe i act stronger than i actually am...she looks just like a woman...she breaks just like a little girl...i guess like anyone i'm afraid to trust because i'm afraid to be hurt again.. i can sit here and say everything is so beautiful that everything is perfect but that would be a lie. life is not perfect, sometimes things happen to you that you could not control that makes your soul cry everytime you think of it. But that is life that is living. People say the words "you can trust me" all the time. In a perfect world you would be able to, but in my world i can't, at least not everyone i meet. There are some things you could regret if you chose to,there are some things you can forget, then there are those other things you just have to accept. i'm sorry for the downer today was not a good day i suppose it happens:(
vanished in infinite darkness drifting soul in search of light crawling on hand and knees in everlasting desire asking for strength to acquire one more step Opening my eyes In the far distance Revealed a vague light little by little forthcoming the light I went alone Each new day brighter revealed Unexpected One more step I gaze down the light uncovered a rose Not a thing in heaven Compares to the beauty of that single rose reaching down I took it within my hand A thorn pierced my skin The blood came the rose falling Upon the ground Began weltering away the light vanished a sole tear fell from my eye Falling slowly to the ground Landing upon the rose The rose came to life Once again Reaching down I place it in my hand The thorns perforate into my skin I seize from letting it fall Onto the ground Then I saw what I had been seeking For my entire life This beautiful rose Evolving alone in the dark Growing thorns anyone who embraced it would let go oblivious of the magnificence it beholds the rose produced thorns so the beauty it held could not be taken away but what is living Without being able to bestow the beauty you hold the rose was forever alone terrified to give you can hold inconceivable amounts of beauty within if you lock it away if you grow thorns the beauty means not a thing a single tear once more fell not from agony from realization the rose in the palm of my hand was myself I could see the beauty within but I would never let others and like the rose I was in the dark alone at that moment the light came the roses thorns vanished as did mine the beauty it gave was so astonishing so alive never to be alone again the rose was free and so was I
When you can’t find the light That guides you through a cloudy day When the stars ain’t shinin’ bright And you fill like you’ve lost you’re way When the candle lights of home Burn so very far away Well you got to let your soul shine soul shine It’s better than sunshine It’s better than moonshine Damn sure better than rain Hey now people don’t mind We all get this way sometimes Got to let your soul shine Shine till the break of day Sometimes a man can feel this emptiness A woman too, God knows, she can feel like this And when your world seems cold You got to let your spirit take control
