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The Anti-Gareth Gates Movement

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We at Anti-Gareth Gates have unearthed some alarming facts about the stuttering Pop Idol known as Gareth Gates which could very well prove that he is none other than Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Prince of Darkness, The Lord of the Flies!

Yes, we think Gareth Gates is the earthly incarnation of the Devil himself !! After all, how else could he brainwash thousands of innocent children into voting for a stuttering little retard unless they were under some sort of evil Wicca spell !

Given: Gareth Gates is a lazy ex-pop idol loser who stutters.
Prove: Gareth Gates is SATANIC!

In Roman Numerals  I=1, V=5, X=10, L=50, C=100, D=500, M=1000.

The Romans had no letter "U". Instead, they used "V", meaning the Roman representation would be: LAZY EX POP IDOL LOSER WHO STVTTERS

Extracting the Roman Numerals we have: L X I D L L V

Their decimal equivalents are: 50, 10, 1, 500, 50, 50, 5.

The sum of those numbers: 666

Coincidence? We think not!

Gates was born into a family of heathens and devil worshippers. Bradford after all is the fifth level of hell itself, breeding all sorts of demons, vermin, soap-dodgers, shoplifters and unearthly scum !!

If you look at his name the clues start to unearth themselves. His initials are GG, the letter G is very similar to the number 6, which would give up two of the 6's.

But where is the third '6' you ask ??

Well some people say that the third '6' is the hidden initial of his secret name, a name so evil that it can only be spoken in his native demon-tongue, and cannot be heard by human ear. (Though dogs and pigeons can hear and understand it !) Others believe the third '6' is the number of letters in his first name 'Gareth', which is a Welsh name, and everyone knows that the Welsh are weird! Whilst the most popular theory is that the third '6' is tattooed somewhere on Gatesy's body, probably up his farting ring-piece !! ... The mystery deepens ...

Gareth spends hours before every show teasing his hair into little demonic 'horns' ! If that doesn't prove he's the devil incarnate I don't know what does ??!

Between the 15th and 18th Century, when they used to hunt down and burn those accused of witchcraft, they said there were various tell-tale signs of identifying witches and those who were in contract with the devil himself.

The third nipple being the most popular, as well as warts, birthmarks, bad skin and speech impediments. Yes, back in those days having a stutter would mean you were having dark dealings with Lucifer.

"Flying without wings"? Surely not possible unless you are the devil!

The people of the time called it 'Speaking in Tongues', and believed that anyone stammering or stuttering was actually conversing with the devil himself !

That would mean if your precious Gareth was born around that time he would probably have been burned at the stake for being a witch !! Not to mention all his 'evil' fans or 'followers' suffering the same fate !! Maybe that's something you should all think long and hard about ??!

Oh, It's at times like these I wish we could all go back in time to those wonderful days, I'd bring the burgers if someone else would get some marshmallows to toast ! And just think what a lovely barbecue we could all have !!! ;-P