We at Anti-Gareth Gates
have unearthed some alarming facts about the stuttering Pop Idol known
as Gareth Gates which could very well prove that he is none other than
Satan, Old Nick, Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Prince of Darkness, The Lord of
Yes, we think Gareth Gates is the earthly incarnation of the Devil
himself !! After all, how else could he brainwash thousands of innocent
children into voting for a stuttering little retard unless they were
under some sort of evil Wicca spell !
Given: Gareth Gates is a lazy ex-pop idol loser who stutters.
Prove: Gareth Gates is SATANIC!
In Roman Numerals I=1, V=5, X=10, L=50, C=100, D=500, M=1000.
The Romans had no letter "U". Instead, they used
"V", meaning the Roman representation would be: LAZY EX POP
IDOL LOSER WHO STVTTERS
Extracting the Roman Numerals we have: L X I D L L V
Their decimal equivalents are: 50, 10, 1, 500, 50, 50, 5.
The sum of those numbers: 666
Coincidence? We think not!
Gates was born into a family of heathens and devil worshippers. Bradford
after all is the fifth level of hell itself, breeding all sorts of
demons, vermin, soap-dodgers, shoplifters and unearthly scum !!
If you look at his name the clues start to unearth themselves. His
initials are GG, the letter G is very similar to the number 6, which
would give up two of the 6's.
But where is the third '6' you ask ??
Well some people say that the third '6' is the hidden initial of his
secret name, a name so evil that it can only be spoken in his native
demon-tongue, and cannot be heard by human ear. (Though dogs and pigeons
can hear and understand it !) Others believe the third '6' is the number
of letters in his first name 'Gareth', which is a Welsh name, and
everyone knows that the Welsh are weird! Whilst the most popular theory
is that the third '6' is tattooed somewhere on Gatesy's body, probably
up his farting ring-piece !! ... The mystery deepens ...
Gareth spends hours before every show teasing his hair into
little demonic 'horns' ! If that doesn't prove he's the devil
incarnate I don't know what does ??!
Between the 15th and 18th
Century, when they used to hunt down and burn those accused of
witchcraft, they said there were various tell-tale signs of
identifying witches and those who were in contract with the
The third nipple being the most
popular, as well as warts, birthmarks, bad skin and speech
impediments. Yes, back in those days having a stutter would mean
you were having dark dealings with Lucifer.
The people of the time
called it 'Speaking in Tongues', and believed that anyone stammering or
stuttering was actually conversing with the devil himself !
That would mean if your precious Gareth was born around that time he
would probably have been burned at the stake for being a witch !! Not to
mention all his 'evil' fans or 'followers' suffering the same fate !!
Maybe that's something you should all think long and hard about ??!
Oh, It's at times like these I wish we could all go back in time to
those wonderful days, I'd bring the burgers if someone else would get
some marshmallows to toast ! And just think what a lovely barbecue we
could all have !!! ;-P