Real simple one this. You just have to help right a wrong. You do it by going to the town cryers office and making a message saying "Death to admin! Bring back Soxy!!!"
This one is a bit of a pain but rather rewarding. During one weboot you have to travel through every room in the terrains. If you do, the location to the old dwarf mines, which are now back in game full of nice stuff, is revealed to you. Only people who have done the quest can get in though, grouping with someone who has wont work.
There is a beggar called Coffin Henry who hands around Ankh-Morpork, normally on Elm St, who will follow you when you enter the room, and is near impossible to lose. What you then do is goto the water part of the river and take him underwater for a good wash. You have to wait till he gets disgusted at this bath and storms off in disgust.
An easy one. A true alchemist is one who thinks acid isn't dangerous, to prove it you have to drink a full bottle of the acid you find in the guild and survive it in front of Snooky. Of-course all true alchemists know about the secret antidote, the green goo that you can find by searching in the closet. So you drink the bottle of acid, then QUICKLY drink the vial of green goo and you become a True Alchemist and get your name in the Hall of Fame.
A simple one, goto brown island, go into the water and gather shells then sell them to the shop on the island. Sell 200 of them and you get the quest and use of the free portal to AM from the back of the shop.
This is a hard one. After every weboot a special npc called the sargent major clones in one of the regiments in the CWC Square of a 1000 parades. The problem is finding him, you have to attack the regiments to get him to clone so you can kill him. Killing him not only gets you the quest, but his pacing stick is an awesome blunt weapon which also has a concealed blade that shoots out the end.
CWC is infested with a plague of old people. It's your job to put them out of their misery. You kill all the old people you can find and then hand their heads in at the old people relocation office in the main administration building. This is an odd quest as more than one person can do it at once, you get the quest if when you hand in the heads, there are no old people cloned in CWC at that time. You are rewarded with some of the vitality (hp) that you have saved the people of CWC.
You will need some perception and a lightable torch for this one. You need to find the npc called Ilik in AM. You then have to get him out of hiding, and give him the lit torch which will illuminate him so he cant do his job. He will then do a dummy spit and say how can I work under these conditions and he throws his purse full of coins on the ground and stalks off in disgust.
The quest is a simple one, you have to buy things 100 times from Tarnach Fendertwin's Quality Consumables in the Magical Supplies Emporium on the east side of Sa tor Square in AM. But what makes this quest even easier is that its bugged!! As its a player run shop its hard for the mud to keep track of who bought something. Therefore it was coded using the assumption that you would go in, ring the bell and buy something. But the bug is, it just records the bell rings without there having to be a time interval between them, therefore all you have to do it go in and ring the bell 100 times in a row to get the quest!! You then get a frequent shoppers card which gives you a %50 discount off all future purchases.
There is a new desert island open near CWC that you have to use the tshop to get to, and like all desert islands its full of buried treasure. Once you are there you need to shimmy up the coconut tree. You remove all, drop all till you are nekkid, then climb tree, clutch nuts. Then break nut, which will give you a scoop, then you just search sand. The location of the treasure is random, so keep looking. You will eventually find a chest with some gems and nuggets in it.
You need to search the Disc for all the different types of socks the npcs wear. There are 7+1 different types. You then find an npc called Sokkard and give the socks to him. You can't give them to him one at a time, you must give them to him in one hit to get the quest. You are then given a pair of long grey wool socks with gold edging, which increase your dex by 1!
This one is a bit odd, there is a toilet in the new citizen place on Hill St. You have to hide in there, and boo people and basically scare the shit our of them :-) You do this to a random amount of people and there will be a big flush and you get your reward.
The shopkeeper in Hillshire has a set of false teeth that he made as a joke one day for cohen. He will give them to you, but only if you can prove you need them, which of course you can only do by showing him cohen's teeth. To knock out cohen's teeth you need to buy a big heavy weapon, like a two handed sword or mace. Then you find him and say "heres the
Another real basic one. Just impress Heric by killing someone in front of him. He then pats you on the back and gives you one of his sabres.
This is the famous feefs daggers quest. You need to buy a shovel then goto the tosg and kill ben for the key. Then you goto the feefs guild in am and kill Jim, you will then be thrown into the dungeon. You then search the ground and it says it looks like something has been buried in the corner. You then dig in the corner and find a chest, which you open with the key and get your feefs daggers!
You need to find the Lanfear npc, its normally in brother davids. You then need to find the most expensive skill on the mud. This varies from player to player so you have to try them all. You do this by 'tell Lanfear teach me 50
Goto the top of gleam St and wait for a man to appear. He is actually an undercover agent waiting for smugglers to appear so he can arrest them. You say carrot sent me to relieve you. He wont believe you at first and think your trying to catch him out. But you persist and say he really did, and eventually he will say good I am off to the bucket for a drink and give you the key to the warehouses, then you can go in and get all the loot in them.
As anyone who has played the mud for a while knows, animal sex is all the rage amongst some of the senior cres, and now they have proven it. You need to goto the apocrathy on Rendon Row and buy some wooly tablets, which when eaten turn you into a sheep. Then you trot to Sheepridge and find the psychotic sheep. You then need to "chat" it up, by doing things like going "chat god your sexy, I want you to shag me hard" . You keep chatting him up till he gets horny, and well you can guess the rest :-)
This quest is based on the bit in the Indiana Jones movie where she out drinks the sherpa. You goto the inn in Razorback with the barman called Lichtenstein, and make sure you have lots of Lancre money. You then have to impress him with your drinking skills by buying and drinking measures of scumble. You do this till he exclaims that you have drunk him dry and that he has none left. He will then give you a bottle of excellent healing tea that never runs out.
First you need to goto the crossroads near Hillshire and get the silver fork. Then goto AM and find the npc called Angua, who is a werewolf. Then its a simple matter of holding the fork and killing her with the silver. When you have killed her get the heart from the corpse and eat it for a plus one permanent strength increase.
To do this quest you need to be a priest with raise or resurrect or a non priest who has those spells imbued. You need to find a ghost npc called Humphry and raise or resurrect him.
Eventually on your travels round Am an evil elfin cobbler will put the shoes from hell on your feet. To get them off you have to use the magical number 8. You shout 'i 8 these shoes' 8 times and they will be removed.
There are lots of new npcs in AM whose names are creators names spelt backwards. You have to kill these npcs then get genitals from corpse and pickle them. A wizard can do this or use the machine in tarnachs. You then mud mail the genitals to the creator whose npc it was. After you have done a random number of them, you will get the quest and access to the creator talker channel.
You will find very annoying mimes wandering around AM who will follow you when you enter their room. Mime is of course illegal in AM, so to get the quest you must kill it. Firstly you go to the dwarf mansion in AM and get an iron amulet from the box in the hidden room. Then go find a mime and get it to follow you. Then ask a wizzy to open a portal to KLK or the Tsort desert north of it for you. You then wear the iron amulet which will protect you from the basilisk. Then you wander round the desert till you find the basilisk, who will then proceed to kill the mime for you. You then get the head from corpse (with the beret on it) and go back to AM with it and give it to the Patrician in the palace who will reward you with a shit load of gems.
For this quest you need a bucket of water, which you can obtain in AM. You goto the witches guild just west of Bad Ass. There you need to find the two wicked witches called Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax, then hold bucket and kill them. The water will be thrown over them and they dissolve. When you have killed them both you get some ruby red shoes, which you can wear and click shoes to get portaled to the drum from anywhere.
You need to goto the dwarf mansion in AM and find the ghost. You will know when your in the same room as you will see a ghostly figure leaves in a direction. When you see it you have to lsay 'Be at peace my friend' 'leave this place and goto your reward'. You need to keep following the ghost and saying this till you see a beam of light come down and take it away. You will then find a pile of gold coins in the room.
Goto the pet shop and order two chickens. One has to be called 'Danbala the feef', the other called 'Carmine the feef'. Then goto the butchers guild and find the carcass inspector and say 'here are the chooks you ordered'. He will then thank you and give you two rubber chickens which are excellent blunt weapons.
Firstly you goto the pottery shop and buy 10 lumps of clay. You need to find an npc called retlobgod who is a gollum, which are of course made of clay. He has had a few bits fall off, so you have to throw clay at retlobgod 10 times, then he will mould the clay into new bits, and give you a gollum hammer which is a great blunt weapon.
There is an npc assassin in AM called eki rhs who has lost his assassins certificate and therefore cant do his job till he gets it back. You have to find the hidden assassins guild in Oc and find the npc called Cimbar. You then tell him you have come for eki rhs's certificate, which he will give you and you give to eki rhs. As your reward eki rhs will then inhume anyone you nominate who is online, even a Non PK!!!
To do this quest its best to buy a pet cat, though you can use someone else's. When ever you kill a corpse you hold a knife and get genitals from corpse, you then give them to the cat who will eat them. After you have done this about a 100 times the cat will fart, which will then surround you and give you a permanent shield which increases your defence.
You need to visit every room in all of the KLK deserts. Once you do this you will receive an amulet which allows you to see all the hidden exits anywhere on the disc.
You need to go to the oasis in the desert south of KLK and kill one of every type of npc in there. Such as commander, enforcer, captain, ect. There are about a dozen of them. Also it has to be done in one go, if you leave the oasis before killing them all then the quest resets and you have to start again. When you finish you get a platinum flying sickle which is an excellent wep for sharp, pierce and blunt.
Go south in the AM assassin's guild to the secretary then type sneak high (you must have at least 10 levels of co.st) then go south to the assassins' climbing wall. You then climb to the top of the wall and find the bell there and ring bell 3 times for the quest.
Go to the tower of arts in the AM wizard's guild and wait for the lag to arrive. When he does follow lag then kill lag. He will then jump off the tower, but if you flap arms, you will beat him down, therefore beating the lag.
Go to the rock shop in quarry lane and lockpick into the storeroom, in there you must search and find the brightly glowing rock, which is an excellent light source.
Go to the frightened traveller west of Peaken Ford then south to the giant dog. You have to kill the dog (its easy) and get the giant collar off him. Then go two north and two west from the frightened traveller for a wolf to appear, when it does put collar on wolf, and viola, you now have a pet wolf.
This is a big quest but well worth the effort. In KLK you have to kill 101 cats and skin them. You then take the pelts to the merchant's wife in the mansion who will make them into a fur coat for you, which is the best armour on the disc. You don't have to take them all at once, you can take them in small lots and she will keep them for you.
Sessifet the main god in KLK is upset at the invasion of foreign priests in KLK. Therefore you need to kill 20 foreign priests and get there heads from the corpse and place them on Sessifets main altar. You can tell the foreign priests as Sessifet's priests have names whereas the foreigners are just called priest. When you complete this quest you will receive Sessifets blessing whenever you are in KLK, which makes you very hard to kill.
Go north of KLK to the river then east to the croc pit. Drop all your gear including your weapons and dive into the pit. Then you must wrestle crocodile for 2 mins. When you have won 5 matches you will receive a large increase in your unarmed skills. Note, you need 20 levels of swimming and unarmed to do this quest.
In the netherworld you have to search around till you find a sword of guaranteed sphinx killing, then go kill the sphinx to get out of there and get the quest.
In the netherworld kill the wombat then take its corpse to Scrugden. Go to the garden and get vegetables, then go to the kitchen and put the wombat and vegetables in a pot and cook till you smell lovely wombat stew.
In Slice go one east of the cottage then go north twice through the hidden exit to the spy pool. From there you can gaze in pool at anyone at the disc.
Go to the fruit and veg shop in AM and buy a banana. Then go to the wizards guild library and find the Librarian and say "here you go monkey, a banana just for you, can I have my reward please". He will then give you the golden banana which will boost your magic.
At night on the road between Sheepridge and Peakin Ford the rocks will become trolls. To turn them back into rocks you must be holding two lit torches, then wave torches at trolls. When you have done this to ten trolls, go see the shopkeeper in Peakin Ford who will give you a troll's hammer as your reward.
You need to be two days old to do this quest. Go to the patricians palace in AM and take the first south exit and "register"
You need to have done the registration wizard quest to do this one. You then need to find any of the family of npcs with the surname Huizinger and kill it. You need to kill all the family members and when you do, the anti-git fairy will appear and grant you a wish, which lets you choose one of some very cool weapons
There is a new class of troll in AM with names like towering and lichen covered. You need to kill 50 of these trolls and get their heads. Then you need to find another person who has done this also and a witch. You then ask the witch to make a magic circle like the ones they use for enchanting and both the players enter it. Then type play marbles and it will tell you what to do. The person who wins the game gets some great troll armour, whereas the person who looses has to go get the heads all over again and find someone else to play with.
To do this quest you need to have already gotten a crystal ball from a simple quest I wont bother you with here. You then go to the sign on the west side of gloomy forest which you can walk to from OC. Then keep typing scry cimbar till you go blind. When you are blind go east then keep going in random directions. You need to visit every square in gloomy forest and eventually reach the sign on the other side of the forest. If your sight returns you need to scry cimbar and get blind again before moving. When you complete the quest you will be given a new crystal ball that doesn't need any magic skills or use gp, and a huge boost to your perception skill. (Note: you cant cheat and do this quest by following someone, you must be alone).
After you do a maximum of eight of the above quests, you will get all your lives back, get the rearrange command again and be able to join a new guild!
Heric's Hero
Stylish Feef
Lanfear Learner
Carrot Smuggler
Sheep Shagger
True Grit
Werewolf Whacker
Humphry Helper
Uncobbled
Dopple Dongers
Mime Maimer
Pulp Fiction
There are two very tough new npcs in AM called Pin and Tulip who offer bodyguard services similar to the God Squad to those who they deem worthy. To prove your worth you have to impress Tulip. You do this by buying a large fish from the fish shop. You then hold the fish and say 'pin i am going to rip your bloody bollocks off and eat them', and then throw the fish at pin which will make him fall on his bum. Tulip will laugh at you and call you a bloody top bloke, and from then on whenever you are fighting something in AM and need help, you just shout help me guys and they will come running and protect you. This means you can fight stuff a lot tougher than you normally could, and is great for PKs. Ding Dong the Witch is Dead
Casper Carer
Chicken Chuckler
Golem Glopper
Assassin Assister
MMMMMM Naughty Bits, YUMM
Magnificent Mapper
Ornery Oasis
Ding-A-Ling
Lag Beater
Rock Shopper
Nice Wolfie
101 Cats
Bible Basher
Crocodile Wrestler
Sphinx Slayer
Wombat Stew
Slice Spy
OOK OOK
Troll Lighter
Registration Wizard
Huizinger Hunter
Marbles
Blind Mans Bluff
Very Refreshing
