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Fire Department Humor

You Might Be A Firefighter If.....

  1. You can tell what type of fire it is by the smell of smoke 10 miles away.

  2. You have ever had a heated debate over the color of fire trucks.

  3. You have ever spent 10 min trying to force open a door
    only to have someone come along and open it by turning the handle.

  4. You have ever taken 10 or more showers in 1 day.

  5. You lay out your clothes from that day so if there is a call at night you can find them quickly.

  6. You have ever been airborne without an aircraft and water was your thrust.

  7. You always wear red suspenders.

  8. You have ever slept in a hose bed.

  9. You carry a ton of specially modified tools in your pocket.

  10. You ever cursed out someone for armor-alling the seats to make them look nice.

  11. You've ever clung to the air horn chord for dear life because the driver is insane.

  12. You have ever said, "she's hot tonight" and not been talking about a girl.

  13. You have ever called a person found after a fire a "crispy critter"

  14. You have ever stomped out a fire with your boots because you couldn't wait for water.

  15. You have ever walked 3 miles into the woods in 100 degree
    heat in full turnout gear and a 5 gal or more water can strapped on your back just to put out a fire.

  16. You roll around in anything that just burned to make your new gear look old.

  17. You take pride in the fact that you haven't washed your gear in years.

  18. You carry enough in your pockets to give the Swiss army knives competition.

  19. You carry enough equipment in your car to extinguish a minor blaze.

  20. You have ever juggled hot coals with your gloves.

  21. You are caught on the back of a truck with your girlfriend or wife
    in the middle of something and the page goes out for a call.

  22. If you have more pagers on your side than money in your wallet.

  23. If a great stop has nothing do with a moving vehicle.

  24. If assembling a mile and a half of hose to catch fire running up hill is a good day.

  25. If you can hear that the siren will go off even before your dog notices it.

  26. If you have ever woken up thinking your pager went off and as you look at it, it goes off.

  27. If you really think that rusty old hydrant looks good in the garden.

  28. If you had to extricate someone by cutting the car doors off on one side
    and realized there was nothing wrong with the doors on the other side.

  29. You take all of your important stuff (like wallets and pagers) out of your pockets
    before going to a training involving a portable tank.

  30. Even the rats are exiting the building and you are going in

  31. You take great joy in smashing the windows of a car parked in front of a hydrant.

  32. your work gear makes you sound like Darth Vader.

  33. if your wife voluntarily chooses the lumpy side of the bed
    to avoid being trampled in route to a call!

  34. your wife/girlfriend has learned to duck and cover when she hears
    the pager go off for fear of being run down.

  35. If youhave more toy fire trucks than your kids do.

  36. you have a wreck with the fire chief on the way to the fire trying to beat him there

  37. You respond to the fire station during a thunder storm in case there's a fire
    started by lightening

    author unknown

You Might Be A Rural Firefighter If.....

  1. All your transmissions start with "breaker breaker"

  2. You spent more on lights and sirens to put in your car
    then you did on maintence for the past 3 years combine

  3. You have ever sunk your rescue boat while fishing.

  4. Your volunteer department has 40 members and there are only 2 seperate
    last names on the roster

  5. You will get up and leave your wife girlfriend in the middle of dinner at a restrant

  6. When you respond to your station in the middle of the night
    and find it all quiet and no one around, only to realize
    that the tones you heard were in your dream.

  7. Your Class A pumper gets waxed more than you wife's car.

  8. You have two turnout sets, one for nice outings and one for those really rough fires.

  9. Airport security has you turn off your radio due to interference with aircraft communications.

  10. Your 18 month old daughter hears sirens and immediately says "Bye Daddy."

  11. You've ever taken a girl out in a pumper

  12. The Family Pet automatically clears the hallway when it hears tones goingoff.

  13. When ever you go anyplace you insist on driving your vehicle so you have
    a set of turnout gear and your blue/red lights handy "just in case you need them"

  14. Old Style is on the mutual aid list.

  15. You go out at midnight to make sure your vehicle is backed in,
    not pulled in the driveway to get out quicker.

  16. If you have so many lights on your car that when you flip the switch
    to turn them on your car starts spinning and the lights stay still!

  17. If your P.A.S.S. alarm goes yea-haw

  18. You leave a filled grocery cart at the store because your pager went off.

  19. If you and six of your friends left a wedding ceremony to put out a grass fire

  20. If your bunker gear contain the words "Osh Kosh B' Gosh"
    and has a hammer loop with a tape measure pouch.

  21. if you think your turnout gear and your snowmobile suit is the same articles of clothing!!!

  22. If you use the departments "thermal imager" for your early morning deer hunting trips!!

  23. When you have ever made a jacuzzi out of a dump tank and a rescue boat motor

  24. The term "Hard Suction" doesn't make you chuckle

  25. You ever put out a cow chip fire.

  26. Your dispatch center ever said "Y'all can't miss it".

  27. You used your rescue air bags as furniture at the fire station.

  28. You refill your air bottles at the local gas station "Free Air hose".

  29. You have to mark the department "out of service" two weeks during deer
    season and every Sunday during the Winston Cup Race.

  30. You consider "2 In and 2 Out" to be two guys in the cab and two on the
    tailboard of the truck.

  31. You count reading fire magazines in the bathroom as training hours.

  32. Your last four Fire Department raffles were for a shotgun.....and a member won
    it each time.

  33. Your rehab consists of a cold beer and a bag of "Hot Fries".

  34. You have a shotgun rack in the back of your fire truck.........
    and shot two bucks on your last call.

  35. Your Hurst tool is on loan to the local body shop.

  36. You wore a hole in your fire boots....... while wearing them at your full-time job.

  37. Your departments brush truck doubles as your hunting truck.

  38. You voted against the last person for chief because he was an Earnhardt fan.

  39. You painted your new rescue truck to look like Bill Elliott's race car.

  40. The directions to your last house fire was "Go down past the last house you
    burnt up".......and you know exactly which house they are talking about.

  41. You ever went diving in a swimming pool with your scba equipment......
    just to see how it would work.

  42. You must take the battery out of your tractor to put in the fire truck before you go on calls.

  43. Your chief has ever responded, signal 10, in a combine.

  44. You threatened the ISO representative with a "whoopin'"
    in order to get your Class 9 Rating.

  45. A fire engine was wrecked because the driver's helmet got caught in the gun rack.

  46. All the tools have that annoying "Tractor Supply Company" sticker on them.

  47. There is no foam on the engine because that wouldn't leave any room for the keg.

  48. You succussfully passed the "Chewing Tobacco While Wearing SCBA" test.

  49. You have ever said "YEEHAW" while checking enroute.

  50. Your hydraulic rescue tool looks suspiciously like a wood splitter.

    author unknown

Rank Of A Fire Fighter.....

  • Fire Chief: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound,
    is more powerful than a locomotive, is faster than a speeding bullet,
    walks on water, and dictates policy to God.

  • Deputy Chief: Leaps short buildings in a single bound,
    is more powerful than a switch engine, is just as fast as a speeding bullet,
    walks on water if the sea is calm, and talks to God.

  • Assistant Chief: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds,
    is almost as powerful as a switch engine,
    is faster than a speeding B.B.,
    walks on water in an indoor pool,
    and talks to God if request is approved.

  • Captain: Barely clears the firehouse,
    loses a tug of war with a locomotive,
    can fire a speeding bullet, swims well,
    and is occasionally addressed by God.

  • Acting Captain: Makes high marks when trying to leap tall buildings,
    is run over by locomotives,
    can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury, can dog-paddle.

  • Lieutenant: Runs into buildings, can recognize a locomotive two out of three times,
    is not issued ammunition,
    can stay afloat if properly instructed, and talks to water.

  • Fire Fighter: Lifts buildings and walks under them,
    kicks locomotives off the tracks, catches speeding bullets in his teeth and chews them,
    freezes water a glance, HE IS GOD!

    author unknown

You Know you are the Significent Other
of someone on the Fire Department When.....

  1. You wake up to your alarm clock and shout "will you shut that pager off already"

  2. You have many fire shirts and never bought one.

  3. Your idea of a turn on is wearing their sweaty gear.

  4. You have ever been stood up for a call.

  5. You see Backdraft and want to imitate the hosebed scene.

  6. You have ever waited 6 hours while they went on a "quick" call.

  7. You are more familar with their station than your parents home.

  8. You can discuss dismemberment at the dinnertable without vomiting.

  9. You have a scanner and all of their frequences programmed in.

  10. You have memorized all their radio codes.

    author unknown